Penelope entered the ballroom with her family taking a moment to admire the beauty of the space. She had been been a bit anxious about attending the Queen's ball as her mother had been telling any member of the ton who spared her their ear of Lord Debling's intentions. Tonight may be the night in which all of her and Colin's work come to fruition.
Although she knew she should be pleased; she could not allow herself to submit herself to any excitement. Her day had been filled with a constant battling of thoughts between Colin and Lord Debling. While she had grown quite fond of Lord Debling her desire for Colin burned with the fire that dared not dwindled. However, she knew that Colin was her friend and was destined to only remain as such.
The ton made their way around the dance floor as they had been instructed to leave it clear for the nights entertainment. Portia happily nudged Penelope gesturing for her to gaze upon the entrance where Lord Debling had just emerged from.
"Girls I believe tonight will be quite memorable." She said smiling upon her youngest daughter. The lights began to dim signifying the beginning of the evenings entertainment.
While the ton remained focused on the performance that dominated the dance floor Penelope could not refrain herself from allowing her eyes to wander. She had taken notice of the arrival of the Bridgerton family not long ago however, there was a certain member of the family missing from their bunch. She continued to scan the room for him in hopes that he simply was tardy to the ball. Yet, no matter how hard she searched, Colin was no where in sight. She let out a faint groan of disappointment and returned her gaze to the performance.
The dancers embraced each other with such movements that painted the illusion of desire, devotion, and love. Penelope's eyes water as the romance depicted by the dancers is what she had hoped for in a marriage. She could not contain the sigh of disappointment within as she knew such a marriage neigh such a partnership could never exist between her and Lord Debling. Penelope allowed a single tear to roll down her cheek before she joined the applause of the crowd as they praised the performers.
Just as Penelope was going to excuse herself from her mother's side a familiar voice presented itself.
"Miss Featherington. Lady Featherington." Lord Debling had made his way over to the Featherington family much to Portia's delight and Penelope's dismay as his was not the voice she had hoped to hear call her.
"Good evening." She said with a faint and polite smile as she curtsied.
"Have you come to steal away my daughter for a dance, Lord Debling? I do believe she has at least one stop left on her dance card." Portia asked eager for the Lord to say yes. Penelope could not help but feel a hint of annoyance at her mother's persistence. Her mother knew just as she that she had no other gentlemen requesting to dance with her.
"Many, in fact." She said with a chuckle hoping she would return the gift of displeasure to her mother.
"In that case, may I have the honor of taking one of your spots?" Lord Debling asked appearing to not have noticed the tension between mother and daughter. Penelope felt as her mother nudged her slightly instructing her to say yes to his question. Penelope glanced at her mother before returning her sights to Lord Debling.
"Of course. However, I find myself quite parched would you please excuse me a moment to fetch myself a refreshment?" Penelope asked hoping to have a moment alone.
"Allow me to fetch you your beverage Miss. Featherington I shall return shortly." Lord Debling said before departing from the Featherington's.
"What are you thinking sending him away like that Penelope he could see this as a sign of disinterest." Portia asked a tone of frustration dominating her whisper.
"Forgive me mama however, I thought it best to slightly deceive Lord Debling rather than inform him that I am in quick need of the chamber pot." Penelope lied knowing that this would allow her the brief moment of freedom she desired. Portia's face grew a faint tint of red of embarrassment.
"Clever girl. Now make haste before Lord Debling returns."
"Yes mama." Penelope said quickly creating distance between her and her family. She had found a spot within the dance space that she knew no one would see her. She allowed herself to take deep breaths. She knew of Lord Debling's intentions to ask for her hand however, she remained uncertain.
She could not deny it all night she was longing for Colin and a part of her believed that he yearned for her as well. There was something in his eyes as of late that had not been there before. Yet, it felt familiar to those glances that she had provided him for several years. Penelope had come to the decision if Lord Debling was to ask for her hand tonight she would have to say no. She could not promise herself to him while her heart craved for Colin. Especially now that there was possibility that he is reciprocating her feelings. Penelope gathered her courage and prepared to return with her family when she heard a someone speak a sentence that captured her attention.
"You jest. Colin Bridgerton was entangled with not one but two women of the night?" Penelope froze and felt as her heart sank at the words that had been spoken. She knew Colin, like many men of the ton, engaged in sensual activities. She recalled the passage in his journal however, she had hoped that upon his return that he had reverted to his usual self. The sweet and caring Colin that she had known and grown to love. Were the glances that she was just reminiscing about just her mind playing tricks on her and providing her false hope?
"I jest you not. In fact, I heard he's been a rather frequent patron as of late. That entanglement took place just two nights ago." The gentlemen laughed.
Penelope could not bear to hear anymore. How could she have been a fool? Colin didn't love her. He never had and he never would. Penelope felt herself begin to grow numb as she returned to her family. Ridiculing herself for having such fantasies of Colin.
"Your refreshment Miss. Featherington." Penelope came out of her trance and was welcomed to the sight of Lord Debling offering her the refreshment she had requested.
"Thank you very much my Lord." Penelope said accepting the glass from his hand. Lord Debling was a kind man. A man who did not question what he wanted and based off his conversation with her mother it was clear that he wanted her for his wife. The pair watched as the members of the ton completed their dance.
"Miss. Featherington I believe its time for our dance." Lord Debling said with a gentle smile as he extended his hand to her.
"Of course, my lord." She responded providing him with her hand and allowing him to lead her to the center of the dance floor.
Penelope could not help but allow her mind to wander. Although what she heard of Colin earlier had brought her pain she still remained uncertain if marrying Lord Debling was the right decision.
"Is everything alright Miss. Featherington?" Lord Debling asked having sense the distress and discomfort from the expression on Penelope's face. It was as if her mind was elsewhere.
"Everything is wonderful." She lied bringing her attention back to their dance. She smiled up at him hoping to erase any doubt she may have caused him.
"I'm glad to hear it." He responded with a reassuring smile as he continued to lead them. Penelope began to think of Lord Debling and his character. He had never shown her anything but kindness and was a true gentleman. He had the qualities of someone she could grow to love. However, that forced her to wonder about his affections for her.
"May I ask you a question, my lord?"
"Anything."
Penelope took a deep breath before she asked the question that had brewed in her mind.
"Considering how often you travel it makes sense to me that you seek a practical match. But...do you imagine that, with time...love may one day grow?" She asked hopeful that he would reciprocate her beliefs in which that they would grow to love one another. Turning a practical match into a love match. However, the discomfort upon Lord Debling's warned her that his response was likely one she was not hoping for.
"I do not know. To be honest, my work has such a large portion of my heart, it may be difficult to make more space." He answered. Try as she might Penelope could not conceal the faint trace of disappointment upon her face. "But I am very glad that you are someone who seems to have such a full life." He added trying to lift her spirits.
Penelope felt herself succumb to numbness once more. As she realized whether it be Colin or Lord Debling neither of them would devote their hearts to her. She lowered her gaze and followed Lord Debling's lead as they continued to glide across the floor.
"You look especially beautiful tonight, Miss Featherington." Lord Debling said in a matter that sounded that his words were not of affection but rather an attempt at comfort. Penelope raised her gaze and smiled at him.
"Thank you, my lord." She responded with a faint smile. The pair continued to dance and Penelope began to succumb to the idea that maybe their future together would not be so bad even if love was not a key element in their partnership. While her mind wandered to Colin she realized he had nothing to offer her but fantasies while Lord Debling offered a future. It was then that she had come to peace with what Lord Debling had to offer her.
The music decrescendoed until the song that filled the air ceased to exist. The dancers began to clear the floor as the night was drawing near to an end. Penelope began to follow the crowd however, she came to halt when she realized Lord Debling had yet to free her hand. She turned to him in slight confusion. Before she could question him Lord Debling began to speak.
"Miss. Featherington there is something I would like to ask of you." He said gently keeping hold of left hand. He descended himself onto one knee keeping his soft gaze upon her.
"Lord Debling what are you doing?" Penelope asked surprised at Lord Debling's actions. As she would never have assumed he would ask for her hand in front of an audience. She did not believe him to be a man that would create a spectacle before the ton. Yet here he was kneeling before her in the center of the dancefloor asking for her hand in marriage.
"Miss. Featherington would you do me the honor of becoming Lady Debling?" He asked as he continued to hold her hand.
Penelope could feel her heart racing within her chest. All eyes of the ton were upon her. Eyes which previously overlooked her. Eyes which anticipated her answer. The more she glanced around at her observers she could not help but notice none of the eyes belonged to the man she truly desired. The man who she wished was kneeling before now. However, Penelope could not deny his absence brought some ease to her heartache when she found the strength within her to provide her answer.
"Yes." She answered softly before gathering the strength to speak louder so that their audience may hear her. "Yes I will marry you."
Lord Debling arose from the floor and provided Penelope a content smile before placing a kiss on her hand. "Thank you Miss. Featherington I look forward to our future together. Now if you'll excuse me I must depart as there is much to prepare and not much time. Goodnight Miss. Featherington."
Penelope watched as Lord Debling departed his stride remained unchanging. There was no detection of excitement for their upcoming nuptials. It was Lord Debling had said their match would be a practical one but, hopefully a happy one.
Penelope's train of thought was broken when she felt someone's arms embrace her. She turned her gaze to see that the one embracing her was none other than her mother. Penelope found the act to be quite foreign between them but in this moment it was quite comforting.
"Well done Penelope I'm so proud of you. Lord Debling will be a fine husband. I know it." Portia whispered as she continued to embrace her daughter.
'That's right Lord Debling is to be my husband soon. Which means I must discard of this unrequited love for Colin. Once and for all.'