Chapter 9: April 2004

It was a beautiful night, the sun had just set and the mother and daughter had seen the beautiful sunset. It was now five to eight, their run was almost finished, and Hermione could see their home up ahead. Kiki sped up and her mother was right behind. But Hermione nearly swerved off the curb when she was startled by Bellatrix appearing from behind a bush.

The dark witch stepped in front of Kissara, Hermione stopped abruptly and drew her wand. The older witch playfully smiled at Kiki and looked up at Hermione before starting a game of tag with the child. Relieved, Hermione put her wand down, but not away, as she followed the duo back home. Arriving at the front yard, Kiki raced Bellatrix to the door, Bellatrix won but the child was still happy. As Kissara looked at her with a smile on her face, Hermione signed 'Pyjamas.' The girl nodded and ran upstairs. Bellatrix didn't go into the house, her face took on a more sombre tone as she waited for Hermione.

"What are you doing here?"

Bellatrix opened and shut her mouth as she herself didn't know. She shrugged her shoulders. Hermione, frustrated, brushed her hair back.

"Can I come back tomorrow?" It started as a confident reply, but weakened as Bellatrix realized what she was actually asking. Can I get to know her?

The meaning wasn't lost on Hermione. Losing her sense of civility, she bared her teeth. Bellatrix lowered her head, she nodded, her face twisted into many emotions including rage and sadness. The dark witch had to resist the voices, and frankly, the temptation to strangle the mudblood. She closed her eyes and clenched her fists before finally walking off.

Glad to be rid of the older witch, though still frustrated, Hermione went into her home, slamming the door behind her.

That night Hermione thought about the situation. Would it really be so bad to let Bellatrix be a part of Kissara's life? She had already said that she didn't plan to take Kiki away from her. If Kissara had a different birth mother, would she let her in? Probably. What worried her was Bellatrix's brutal past, obviously the woman still had problems controlling herself. By letting her in, would she be putting her daughter in danger? Or herself for that matter?

Hermione rolled in her bed, it was times like these when she wished she could call her parents. Though they might be dead for all she knew. She thinks about whom she could call with this information. Any Weasley was out of the question, they probably wouldn't listen objectively since they all believed Bellatrix should still be in Azkaban. As for Harry, while he did understand that Bellatrix was pivotal to the Order during the war, he was still angered by Sirius' death. Tonks would then be the better option and having Teddy, she would understand the need to protect one's child (Ginny now did too, having had James a of couple months ago, but she counted as a Weasley and would probably contest even more against Bellatrix).

The next morning, Hermione woke the usual way; with a hyper kid jumping up and down on her bed. Hermione pretended to sleep for a little bit before jumping up, play wrestling Kissara down and peppering her girl with kisses. Laughing, Kiki managed to untangle herself from her mommy and ran to get dressed for kindergarten. After Hermione got dressed, she went downstairs to make pancakes.

Before starting the pancakes, Hermione sent an owl to Tonks. Kiki came barrelling down the stairs just as Hermione put the pancakes on the plates. She made sure Kiki had her lunch before setting off for the bus stop.

"Wotcher Hermione" Tonks was coming around the bend with Teddy in tow. She had decided to send Teddy to the same school as Kissara both because it would be good for him to expand his horizons and because the cousins were very close, though they weren't aware they were cousins. Teddy also helped people understand Kiki when she couldn't express herself.

They didn't usually use the same bus stop but today Hermione wanted to speak to Tonks. As soon as Teddy saw Kiki, he charged and scooped her up, both of them laughing as they fell to the ground. Teddy was almost two years older than Kiki but they were in the same grade. Tonks had to teach him how to control his shifting and make sure he understood that he could not do it in front of muggles.

"Hello Tonks. How are you?"

"Alright." Tonks elbowed her. "I went on my first date since…Well." She saddened as she spoke those words.

Refusing to dwell on that, Hermione ignored it. "How'd it go?"

"Meh." Tonks shrugged jokingly. "Mom says it's a step in the right direction. Anyways, you wanted to talk to me?"

"Yeah, but it's going to have to wait until the kids are gone."

Tonks frowned but nodded.

After seeing the children off, they headed to Hermione's bookstore, which, while being at the muggle/wizarding border, is close to the Auror office. Hermione asked Tonks to open the wizarding section while she opened the muggle section, then they settled behind the counter with a cup of tea for Hermione and coffee for Tonks.

They stared at each other, Tonks waiting for Hermione to speak. When Tonks realized that Hermione wasn't going to speak, Tonks prompted, "SO?"

"Kissara is Bellatrix Black's daughter." Hermione blurted.

Tonks' jaw dropped. "How many people know?" she whispered.

"You don't need to whisper." Started jokingly but quickly turned serious again. "Me, you..." She hesitated to say Bellatrix. "I saw the tapestry at Grimmauld Place when I was visiting Harry and Ginny, it had added her in."

"Merlin's beard, Hermione, why did you go and pick her? What if Bellatrix finds out? Frig, when did Bellatrix get pregnant? You'd think someone would have noticed. Why do you think she left her? Depending on the reason, she could be dangerous." Rather agitated Tonks couldn't stay still, and changed positions at each sentence spoken.

"It's not like it was intentional. And Bellatrix does know, she…"

"WHAT?"

"She knows." Exasperated, Tonks fell back in her seat and waved for her to continue. "We bumped into her in Diagon Alley, she immediately recognized her,"

"Yes now that you've mentioned it, she does look enormously like her." She scoffed; "I suppose the fact alone, Bellatrix having a child, would deter anyone from thinking Kissara was her daughter." She paused. "Who named her, you or Bellatrix?"

"I did." Tonks nodded. "Anyways she didn't do anything in Diagon Alley. But she did come by to my house that night, I'm not sure how she found it but she did. She got to meet Kiki after she told me she wouldn't take her away from me."

"You let her in?"

Hermione nodded. "I thought it would only be that one time, I don't particularly want her near us." Hermione lowered her voice. "I'm afraid."

"What happened?"

"She came by again, earlier this time, she spent a little bit of time playing with Kiki, nothing awful. But when she asked to come back and I said no she looked like she wanted to kill me. I…"

Tonks suddenly cut Hermione off, looking at a little piece of enchanted parchment. "I've got to go to work. Tell you what, I'll talk to my mother about your little problem and get back to you." Hermione looked at her, confused. "My mom's Bellatrix's sister."

"Oh, right, forgot about that."

"Many people do."

That night, after Kiki had gone to bed, Hermione received an owl. The note read;

Mom says you should give Aunt Bella a chance, though she also says she would happily jinx her if she even dares lay a hand on you or Kiki.

-Tonks

Over the next week, Hermione thought on how to contact Bellatrix, to let her know she could come back. She thought about stalking Diagon Alley/Knockturn Alley during her lunch break, which would probably not be effective. During the weekend, she decided to ask for Bellatrix's whereabouts at the Ministry, if they didn't want to divulge them, she would ask Harry, Head of the Auror office.

What she didn't expect was to see Bellatrix come into her bookshop. The Monday before the Easter weekend, Bellatrix showed up. Hermione figured that Bellatrix hadn't realized who owned the bookshop as she started to peruse the bookshelves without looking her way. Hermione took the opportunity to study the witch between serving customers.

The older witch seemed to pay attention to every aspect of the book she was looking at. She didn't skip any books either, keeping a finger on the book she was looking at if she hadn't picked it up. Bellatrix didn't seem to mind getting down on her knees to look at the lower books and Hermione got the impression that if she could, she would float to the higher bookshelves instead of magically bringing the books down. It took her half the day to go through five of the large bookshelves, by then she had picked six books. She seemed to debate whether or not to continue through the bookshop and decided to go through one last bookshelf. All in all, Hermione concluded that Bellatrix was as fervent a reader as she was, but couldn't conclude anything further as she was as guarded as usual, maybe even more so since she was in public.

"Excuse me." Hermione tore her gaze away from the dark witch. "Would you point me to the playwrights section?"

"Of course." Hermione stepped out from behind the counter and led the man further into the muggle section.

When she came back, Bellatrix was standing at the counter with two more books, she was staring at her pile, seeming quite far away. Hermione startled her as she grabbed the first book to catalogue it. Bellatrix stayed quiet as she wrote down the title of the books, the books were varied from history to magical creatures to fiction, one was even completely written in runes. Bellatrix paid her and started to leave but Hermione put her hand on the pile of books, preventing her from picking them up. The witch looked at her darkly.

Unfazed, Hermione said, "You're welcome to see Kiki again."

Bellatrix's dark glare disappeared and she seemed to shudder at the nickname before asking; "Why the change of heart?"

"Your sister told me to give you a chance."

Bellatrix seemed stunned. "Andy?" She asked meekly. "How is she?"

"She seems alright, I've never spoken to her directly. I'm friends with her daughter."

"I see." Bellatrix looked down at the counter, struggling to stay somewhat submissive, she was just given permission to see her daughter again, she didn't want it removed. "Well then, may I come by tonight?"

"She comes here at 3 and we go home at 4:30, supper is at 6."

"She comes here?"

"Yes, she has a playroom in the back, sometimes Teddy comes here too. Other times she goes to her uncles."

"Uncles? I thought you didn't have any siblings."

"Harry and Ron?" Hermione prompted.

"Ah." Bellatrix put her books in her bag, which definitely had an extension charm on it. "May I go to your home tonight?"

Hermione nodded and watched Bellatrix leave. Before exiting the door, Bellatrix turned back, thoughtful; "Do you have any books about that hand language you taught her?"

"Sign language, yes, it's in the muggle section."

Bellatrix looked unimpressed about having to fetch it in the muggle section. Hermione thought, maybe, the pureblood changed her mind as she saw the muggle section was just as large as the wizarding as the older witch peered curiously at the new selection in front of her, though she tried not to show it. She got the book and left, shooting Hermione a fleeting suspicious glance.

Bellatrix was already in the front yard when Hermione and Kiki flooed home. Kissara saw the woman in the yard and looked at her mommy expectantly. Hermione put her hands in front of her, palms facing out, and moved her right hand rotating her palm inwards. Kiki smiled and went to open the door, she waved Bellatrix in but instead got waved outside by her older look-alike. The girl looked at her mommy, who just shrugged her shoulders and went to start supper.

Bella watched the girl exit the house. Today, instead of reading like she had planned, she spent the day learning the basic signs and quieting the voices. She was pleased, the voices were as quiet as they have ever been. They shouldn't make an appearance tonight unless Granger did something to irritate her.

As the girl approached, she was immediately fixed by the blue light emanating from Bella's closed hands. Bella lowered herself to the girl's eye level, and found herself easily smiling at Kissara. She opened her hands and a little glowing blue fairy floated up. Kissara's eyes were as wide as her smile. Suddenly the fairy zigzagged across the large lawn, making sure to stay clear of the road. Kissara looked at Bella, unsure of what to do.

Bella cupped her hands and brought them quickly to her body, the sign for 'catch', yet the girl still looked confused so she figured she may have gotten it wrong.

"I hope that's not a real fairy." Hermione said, and signed, as she joined them.

"Of course not!" Bellatrix looked aghast, but realized, as she saw the scar, that the muggle-born had probably never played with these before. She corrected herself; "Think of it as a snitch for little girls, or a nightlight or just something to stir the imagination."

Hermione translated for Kissara, and as soon as she was done, the girl bolted for the fairy, laughing and happy to be able to chase after something. Watching her daughter, Hermione laughed and mentioned that if Kissara started chasing the fairy every night, she wouldn't need to run before bed.

"Is that why you run every night? To tire her out?" Bellatrix's unbelieving expression was so funny Hermione couldn't help but laugh.

At supper, there were three around the table. Between bites, Kissara taught more signs to her birth mother, she seemed to find it funny that an adult knew less than her.

Bellatrix stayed for reading time too. Hermione wasn't as bothered by this as she thought she would be. They mostly didn't interact, they interacted with Kiki mostly. Hermione was secretly satisfied that Bellatrix was, while not impressed, pleased with the selection of books in the Granger Library. Tonight Kiki actually sat down to read, something she normally only did after having seen her cousins, and by the time 7:15 arrives, the girl was asleep, having had a busy night.

Bellatrix casually followed Hermione as she put Kissara to bed. The dark witch put the little fairy on the girl's bookshelf and followed the younger witch out of the room.

Very awkwardly and formally the older witch started; "I suppose I will bid you goodnight. Thank you for this opportunity. May I come back?"

Giving her the impression that she hadn't listened, Hermione stated, "I have questions for you."

"No doubt, but…" Bellatrix struggled to admit about the voices which had been getting stronger throughout their reading session. She'd had to quiet them again while pretending to read. "I can't stay much longer without risk of insulting you or worse."

Hermione frowned as her protective side came out. Just as she opened her mouth to rebuke, Bellatrix put up a hand to quiet her.

"I will explain later." And she apparated.

The next day, Bellatrix apparated at Granger's home for supper. She knew Kissara had gone to Tonks' house for the evening, she'd see her after supper. This meeting was more about answering Hermione's questions. Hopefully all questions would be answered and she would get complete trust and permission to see Kissara. Though it was easier said than done, Bellatrix had not had as much success with locking up the voices as the day before. Perhaps it was nervousness, but today she could make out what the whispers were saying, yesterday she couldn't.

Supper was a quick and quiet affair.

As they sat down in the library, Hermione stated, "Given last night's statement, I'll ask all the questions I want answered and let you answer on your own terms." Bellatrix was glad to hear this, the young woman was more perceptive than she thought. Closing her eyes, Hermione listed off her questions. "First, I've asked you before and will ask again; do you plan on taking her away from me, or doing anything that could damage my relationship with my daughter?" Bellatrix didn't miss the slight emphasis on 'my daughter'. "Also why did you leave her? Now you seem to want to be a part of her life. What do you want? Finally, you seem to be struggling with something, what did you mean 'or worse'? Is there even a slight risk you would hurt Kiki or anyone else?" Hermione paused and hesitated at her last question, lowering her voice, she whispered; "Why did you torture me?"

'Don't answer, go home, leave!' The voices were whispering to her, she shook them off, thinking of the easiest question to answer. "As I said before, I'm not planning to take her away from you, whether it's physically or relationship-wise."

Well, that was the only easy answer. Why did you leave her? What do you want? What are the voices? Why did you torture me?

The second question she answers is the torture, finding the actual reason more practical than personal. "I tortured you because I needed to convey a message in a subtle way, without the others figuring it out. I deduced from Draco's Hogwarts stories that Potter and Weasel would be too stupid to catch my meaning. The torture just fit my character." She looked at the floor and muttered the apology the voices were trying to prevent her from saying. "I'm sorry."

"I know." Bellatrix looked up at the muggle born and frowned. "I heard you apologize to me during, well…"

"I wasn't sure I had said it."

"It was faint, and I just realized what you had said recently."

Bella was happy to hear she had managed to apologize, however faintly, over the voices and Hermione's screams. Speaking of which, she decided to tackle the voices question next as she could hear them getting stronger; first they were telling her to leave, during her last answer they were telling her to insult the muggle-born, soon they would go to murder. There was a good chance she would need to start her spell soon.

"I hear voices." Hermione's jaw dropped open as she watched Bellatrix twist uncomfortably in her seat. "They tell me to do things, bad things." Her voice softened as she spoke. Suddenly the dark witch jumped up and ran out the door. The voices had broken free, a piercing shriek had filled her head, other voices yelled at her to kill the mudblood because she knew too much. She sat in the yard and started ineffectively muttering her spells.

Hermione sat on the ground several metres from the other witch, watching her rock back and forth with her hands on her ears, muttering something. Hermione wasn't entirely sure what the witch was saying or how to help and she was wary.

Hermione's heart stopped as she saw Tonks apparate in with Kissara. Tonks was confused and Kiki was clearly worried about her new friend now sitting on the lawn. Before either Tonks or Hermione could react, Kiki bolted towards Bella, who hadn't realized they had new arrivals. Crying out, Hermione tried to get to her girl before she got to Bellatrix, though still confused Tonks followed Hermione's example.

But Kiki still reached the dark witch first, throwing her small arms around her, startling the woman. The other witches froze as they waited for events to unfold. At first Bellatrix seemed to try to push the girl away which visibly upset the child but then she seemed to realize who it was. She brought the girl onto her lap and held her, still mumbling. Her words got stronger as she continued and finally Hermione recognized them as part of a spell.

Bellatrix was now rooted firmly in reality again. She made sure the girl could see her 'Thank you' which looked like an air kiss. The girl smiled up at her, then at her mother, before putting her head down on Bella's chest.

"Well then," Tonks said awkwardly. "Goodnight?"

Hermione shook her head and gave Tonks a hug before saying goodnight. She turned to look at the dark-haired couple on the ground. Kissara was fast asleep, Teddy having tired her out no doubt, and Bellatrix was looking up at her wide-eyed and unsure of what to do with the sleeping child.

Hermione sighed, "Come on, let's get her to bed."

This time Bellatrix was the one to change the girl into her pyjama's and tuck her in, with some help from her mother.

When the lights were out and the door was closed, Hermione clarified. "That was a spell to quiet the voices?"

Bellatrix nodded. Nodding back, Hermione headed for the door to show her guest out. But Bellatrix grabbed her left arm and exposed her scar which had remained quite prominent. Hermione struggled to get free but Bellatrix was stronger, the younger witch closed her eyes in terror as the older witch brushed her hand against the scar. Yet Bellatrix released her without any pain. Looking down at her arm, Hermione was surprised to see that, while still visible, the scar had faded dramatically. She looked back up at Bellatrix, who spoke.

"I left Kissara because I believed, and still believe, I would make a horrible mother. Now that she has a mother, a good one, I wonder if maybe I could be an influence in her life, a good influence. But I need your help." Hermione nodded.

As Bellatrix exited the house, Hermione called to her; "Come spend Easter with us. And feel free to use our Floo."

Bellatrix signed her thanks as she apparated.