Chapter 12: December 1999

Bellatrix held the squalling baby at arm's length, the cord hung limply in between them. They were outside, during her labour, Bellatrix had found the walls of the cabin to be constricting, the thick forest had prevented the build-up of snow and the cold December air had soothed her aching body. Unfortunately the voices took advantage of the terrain, they were telling her to drop the babe onto the rocks or smash her head on the ground...shake her to death, let her freeze... It didn't take long before Bellatrix was sobbing from the effort it took her to keep the baby in her arms. Finally, achingly slowly, she brought the babe closer to her, it was a girl. It took considerable effort and time to bring her daughter close to her chest and hold her. So long, the babe was now cold and hungry.

Bellatrix cut the cord and as she maneuvered herself to attempt to remove the afterbirth, the child latched on to her breast. The woman sighed tiredly and propped her sore self against a tree. Tired, Bellatrix was having a hard time keeping her head up and eyes open so she lazily caressed the newborn's cheek instead, she needed to take advantage of the situation while it lasted. She had already decided to abandon the child. How could she raise a child properly when the voices in her head were telling her to dismember it?

When the baby was done eating, Bella wrapped it in the dress she had shed earlier. She removed the afterbirth, not quite sure how to do it, the process took so long that she needed to suckle the baby as soon as the placenta was out. This time she looked at her daughter's face, she found the baby looked quite a bit like herself, though the brown eyes are lighter with a tinge of green. Only after this second feeding did Bellatrix attempt to get up. It wasn't as easy as she thought it would be, it was painful and when she stood up fully, she got dizzy and went blind. Thinking she was about to pass out, she held on to the tree for support and firmly held the newborn to her chest. It did pass though and Bellatrix limped back to her cabin.

There she cleaned both herself and her child. She got dressed but other than a single diaper, she had no clothes for the baby. Two hours later, she settled down to suckle the child one last time. This time she cried as she tried to memorize the features of the baby she would not raise and hopefully, for her daughter's safety, never see again. She passed her hands over the baby's face and arms, stomach and legs, ending in a pressed kiss to the bottom of the babe's foot. When she was done nursing, she wrapped the babe up in a soft blanket and disapparated.

Under cover of darkness, Bellatrix laid her daughter on the front step of the orphanage and knocked on the door, making sure it was loud enough to be heard. She hid behind a bush and watched the door start to open. But before she could make sure they took the baby inside, the voices broke through her thin barrier and screamed at her to kill it before it was too late. Fighting them, Bellatrix apparated back to her cabin and threw herself on the bed, sobbing.

By the end of the night, the cabin had endured an uncountable number of bombardas and had burned to the ground.

Mid July 2004

It took less than an hour for Hermione to clean up after the Aurors had gotten the little evidence left and another fifteen minutes to check her cash register and scan her inventory. Only one book was missing, not a particularly dangerous one, for that she was grateful. The Aurors made her promise to either keep those books better protected or bring them home. They also suggested she keep the ones she had at home under lock and key.

When she got home, she found Bellatrix rocking Kiki in the living room, softly crying. After taking a moment to absorb the sight, Hermione cleared her throat and startled Bellatrix, who quickly wiped away her tears. The sudden movement woke Kissara up. The girl groggily rubbed her eyes and attempted to get up, but Bellatrix got up and carried Kiki to Hermione instead. The muggleborn gladly accepted her daughter and the women walked upstairs to put their daughter to bed a second time that night. Kissara didn't fuss as she was tucked in, she sensed things had calmed down.

"So, how bad was it?" Bellatrix asked as they returned downstairs.

"Only one book was taken."

"One of the ones under lock and key?"

Hermione nodded. "Cryptids by D. Muller. I'm not sure why anyone would go through that much trouble for that particular book."

Bellatrix just shrugged, she had read the book and didn't remember any subject in it that could be dangerous to anybody save the reader.

As they headed downstairs, Hermione asked; "I was wondering if you could put stronger wards on the restricted books? I'm not so worried about the contents of the stolen book, but some of the others have very dark subjects. Also, could you put some wards on the books I have here?"

Bellatrix nodded. "If you want me too. When do you want me to put the wards up?"

"Tomorrow?"

Bellatrix nodded again.

Hermione said her thanks and goodnight to Bellatrix and started to head back up the stairs.

"Hermione…" the dark witch called out. The younger witch turned around. "Kissara….Knew something was wrong? I'm not sure how to explain it."

"She can read into people's emotions, they have to be strong emotions but she does feel them."

"I see." Bellatrix was surprised but chalked it up to the child's uncontrollable magic. "Well, goodnight then." Her hand was on the doorknob when Hermione decided to call her back. "Yes?"

"Do you love Kissara?"

Bellatrix frowned. "Duh."

"Do you mind sharing her?"

Bellatrix raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that what we've been doing?"

"Do you want her to call you momma?"

Bellatrix was visibly stunned. "Would you let her call me, momma? Would you let me be her momma?"

Hermione hesitantly nodded. "As long as you don't become her only mother."

Hermione took a step back as she saw the dark witch head straight towards her, not wanting a repeat of the other night. But she was instead surprised by the gentle but firm hug she got from the ex-Death Eater. It might have been her imagination but she swore she felt something wet against her shoulder and heard a very soft 'thank you' before Bellatrix disapparated, leaving a discombobulated Hermione behind.