November 2004
Bella never really moved out after that week. Her possessions had gradually moved into the guest bedroom. It was hit or miss whether she actually slept in there or not, but Hermione didn't mind the extra body in her bed. The Gryffindor was even tempted to tell her to forgo the guest bedroom, but Hermione wasn't that brave. At least not yet.
They had settled into a routine. Hermione would get Kissara ready for school, and Bella would pick her up. Then they would spend time as a family before putting Kiki to bed. The adults would retreat to the library to chat and read. It was positively domestic.
Though it often felt to Hermione as if she and Bellatrix were skirting around each other. Electricity passed through the young woman every time their hands brushed together and the air was heavy when they sat alone. Hermione shook her head; it was probably all in her imagination.
Hermione was kneeling on the entryway floor to finish packing Kissara's travel bag. The little girl needed at least an extra set of clothes to visit her aunt and uncle's place. She still had accidents from time to time, but she was more likely to get dirty. With what? Who knew. In the spring it was mud, sometimes it was paint. One time it was one of George's prank concoctions.
"You sure you want to do this today?"
Hermione turned to look at Bellatrix. She was leaning on the kitchen doorway, looking at her with an inscrutable expression.
"I'm afraid I'll lose my nerve if I don't."
It was late November. Kissara's birthday was coming up quickly, and Hermione had grand delusions of her family being all together for it. Or maybe for Christmas if she was lucky... Probably never again...
"Is it safe to bring her?"
Hermione stilled; she felt her eyes tear. "They are her family. I guess - I guess, I want her to see them one last time if things go bad."
"I can leave."
"No!" Hermione shook her head, a few tears falling. "You are family too."
Bellatrix approached her. She stood by for a second before wrapping her arms around Hermione and giving her a tight hug. "Good luck," Hermione could swear she felt Bellatrix kiss her head through her hair, "I'll be at my house if you need me."
Hermione wiped at her eyes.
"I'll go get the menace."
Kissara was sitting at the top of the staircase, out of sight of the foyer. When her momma approached, she ran off toward her room.
Bellatrix peaked inside, 'What are you doing?'
'Is something bad going to happen?'
'Hopefully not.'
Bellatrix walked towards Kissara. She scanned the girl. Yep, she was dressed. She walked to the dresser to grab the missing socks and handed them to the girl. Kissara put them on.
'Kiki. Don't worry. Enjoy your visit today.'
'Is something bad going to happen to uncle Harry?'
Not if I don't need to get involved.
'Your mommy has an important message to give to the family. She is nervous about that. But you don't need to worry. Though maybe you can give your mommy a big hug and tell her it'll be ok. Ok?'
Kissara bit at her lip and her big eyes scanned over her momma's face several times before she nodded.
'Thank you.'
Kissara grabbed her stuffed tailypo, then grabbed a soft blue rabbit stuffy. She was going to give it to baby James.
As the two dark-haired members of the family descended the stairs they watched Hermione's frown turn into an overly large smile.
'Ready to go?'
Kisaara dropped the stuffies and ran into her mother.
"Oof!"
The girl's grip was nearly painful, but it didn't last long, Kissara pulled back and signed; 'It's going to be ok.'
Many emotions flit over Hermione's face, and tears threatened to return as her stomach twisted. But the young mother ended up resigning herself. There were too many emotions to feel. She knelt in front of her daughter. The girl had her fist balled and she was standing ramrod straight. She took Kissara's face in her hands and kissed her forehead.
'I love you.'
'I love you too.'
'Time to put your boots on.'
"I'll see you later. And let me know if I can do anything to help. Anything."
"We should be good but thanks." Hermione wasn't convinced of that herself but she feared voicing her opinions would cause her to back down.
'I'll see you later menace.'
Kiki stuck her tongue out at her momma and gave her a hug. 'You should come with us.'
'Maybe another time. I love you.'
'I love you.'
Bellatrix took her wand out, walked outside the wards, and apparated.
Kissara looked at her mommy, took her hand and they did the same.
Hermione's stomach dropped even further when it was Molly who answered the door. She had thought she would have only Harry, Ron, and Ginny to contend with. Oh, and Lavender, not that she cared what Lavender thought.
Molly immediately picked up Kissara and engulfed her in a great big hug.
"Hermione!" Arthur called from behind his wife. "It's so good to see you!"
She forced herself to smile back at the man and returned the hug from Molly.
"I heard you have your parents back?"
"Yes." A fleeting moment of happiness interrupted her nerves.
"And you didn't bring them!" Molly gave her a smile as she ushered them into the house.
"No. I've been keeping them to myself until now. Catching up. You'll get to meet them at – at Kissara's birthday."
"Perfect! And bring them to the Burrow on the 26th and for New Year's eve. You ok dear?"
"I'm ok."
Molly lowered her tone, "Her father's not showing up again, is he?"
"I -"
"Hermione!"
Ginny made her way towards her, baby in one arm and the other extended. She hugged Ginny, perhaps a little too hard as her friend side-eyed her as they pulled apart. Hermione stole James from Ginny's arms and started cooing at the baby boy to avoid any questions. Ginny turned her attention to her niece, who jumped in her arms.
Hermione kissed little James' soft hand and smiled at him.
"You planning on having another?" She heard Lavender's happy voice from further down the hallway.
She looked to see Lavender and Ron further back towards the kitchen.
"I don't know, I kinda have my hands full."
"We are trying for our first."
"Nice." She was happy for them, and was secretly pleased that would finally know the sleepless nights of parenthood.
They properly entered the home. The more she spoke to her found family, the more she managed to bury her concerns at the back of her mind and enjoy their time together.
Yet at supper, the nerves returned and Hermione found herself pushing her food around rather than eating. She had been fiddling with her fork when she felt a hand lay over hers.
"Hermione? Are you ok? You haven't been yourself all night. Nor has Kiki."
Hermione turned to look at her daughter. Kissara was sitting between Ron and baby James' highchair. She had her hands neatly folded on her lap and was staring at her mommy with her big green eyes.
Hermione set her fork down.
'Kiki. Please take James upstairs and keep him occupied.'
All eyes were now on the Grangers as Kissara did as she was told. Harry helped the children up to the second level. When he returned Hermione started speaking.
"I've been in contact with Kissara's birth mother." She picked at the tablecloth. "I told Ginny, but I'm not sure if she told any of you."
"Yeah, she did." Harry leaned on the wall, arms crossed, near the bottom of the staircase.
"Kissara calls her Star, yes?" Molly asked.
"Mh-mmm." Hermione looked at Ginny. "Remember I said I would tell you who it was?"
"It is about time." The corner of Ginny's mouth raised in a half smile for a moment. "So, what's the big deal? You are friends. Kiki likes her. Tonks knows her too, right?"
"Yeah, Tonks likes her too," Hermione muttered.
"So?" Ginny egged her on.
"It's Bellatrix Black."
The air stilled.
Ginny whispered. "She does look a lot like her."
His sister's sentence was barely out when Ron yelled. "What!" He stood, his chair toppling over.
Heavy footsteps came toward her. Harry's hand turned her shoulder so Hermione would face him.
"What do you mean – Bellatrix – is Kissara's mother?"
Hermione put her hand on Harry's. "Just that."
"She's a criminal!" Harry backed off and started pacing.
"You can't choose your parents."
"Yes, but you let her in!" Harry pointed at her. "You could have told her to fuck off!"
"Bellatrix was a turncoat."
"Who murdered people!"
"She never killed anyone."
"Oh, just tortured, that's all!"
"Harry-"
"And what about Sirius!" Harry yelled.
"It was an accident! She didn't mean to send him through the veil!"
"What a fucking joke!" Ron threw in.
Empowered, Harry plowed on, questioning her sanity.
"Shut up, shut up! Shut up and listen!" Hermione covered her ears and stomped her foot.
No one heard the little footsteps approaching. A ball of magic b-lined for Harry and hit him on the hip.
"Owe! What? Kissara, what are?"
Kissara's green eyes flashed and the little girl stomped her foot. She stared her uncle down. Harry's steeled expression gave way to a curious one.
Kissara signed slowly. 'Star. Is. My. momma. And. I. Love. Her.'
Harry's face darkened as he stared at the child who had never looked more like Bellatrix than at that moment. Kissara did not break eye contact.
The group of adults stared, mouths agape, at the two, the only sound was baby James' cries.
Harry broke away first. He opened and closed his clenched fists. He looked to Hermione. "Get. Out."
Hermione didn't need to be told twice, her own rage bubbling. It was time to end this before someone did something they regretted. She scooped up Kissara and ran outside and out of the protective wards. She apparated, not bothering to turn to any of the room's other quiet occupants.
They hit the ground hard and toppled. She should not have apparated. She heard Kissara yelp. Hermione jolted up and located her girl who was now a dozen feet away from her. She ran over and stood her girl up. She brushed her down. Tears were streaming down Hermione's face.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Hermione whispered as she continued to brush her girl down over and over.
Little hands grabbed her own.
'Mommy. It's ok.'
Hermione sobbed. She reached out and brought Kissara into her arms. As she cried a little hand tapped her back.
Kissara was stiff. Some of the ache was due to how tight her mother was holding her, but the rest was anger. How dare someone make her mother cry? Much less her uncles. She gritted her teeth, wishing her spell had hit harder. But she forced herself to take deep breaths, a special way that she had practiced with her momma. But she knew this would get better. They were family and her aunt Ginny was nowhere near as mad as her uncles. She would set them straight.
Two dark blurs moved on the edge of her vision, one disappeared to the left, and the other became larger and clearer. Her momma came running up to them and slid to close the distance. Wrapping them both in her arms.
When Hermione's breath slowed Kissara broke free from her mothers. Jumping in place to release the tension in her sore muscles. She watched as her momma stood her mommy up and brushed the wet snow off of her.
Went Bellatrix finished brushing her off Hermione fell into Bellatrix's arms once more.
"I guess it went as well as expected."
"Mm." Hermione straightened out. "I want to go home."
"Of course."
Kissara pulled at her momma's skirt. 'Momma, are you coming home with us?'
Bellatrix stared at the child.
"Bellatrix?"
Tears leaked from the older witch's eyes.
'Momma?' Kissara couldn't understand what she had done wrong. Her momma's energy now felt off and she didn't know what had done. Kissara started crying. 'I'm sorry.'
"Oh no." Bellatrix let out, not bothering to sign, she picked up the crying girl and held her close, rubbing her back. She kissed the girl's cheek. Kissara hiccupped. Bellatrix lifted the girl's head up so she could see her.
'You didn't do anything wrong. I'm coming back home with you. But I need to go get a couple of things first.'
'You are ok?'
'Yes.'
Kissara looked around. A thick dark tail flicked out from behind a tree. She smiled. She continued down the treeline. Many of the trees were blackened, some falling over and dead. Her eyes came to stop on a small wooden house. The wood was weathered and in some places, new, where there once were holes.
'Is that your home?'
'Yes.'
'Can I see it?'
Bellatrix looked to Hermione with an uncertain smile then back to Kiki. 'My house is a mess.'
'Pleeaasse.' Kissara extended the word by continuously repeating the circling motion of the sign over her chest.
'Ok.' Bellatrix kept herself from rolling her eyes.
Kissara gave a little bounce and ran towards the decrepit shack.
"You coming?"
Hermione rubbed her eye and held out her hand for Bellatrix to take. The ex-death eater did so and led her to the tiny house.
"I have tea," Bellatrix announced as soon as they walked in. She kicked off her boots and left them on the floor in a similar manner to Kissara's discarded boots.
Bellatrix took the ten steps to the kitchenette and put the kettle on. Hermione took her own boots off, placing them against the wall, doing the same with the other two pairs. She could hear Kissara ruffling in the bathroom. The girl emerged and crawled under the bed. Maybe in hopes of actually finding something interesting. There wasn't much here. Bellatrix had moved in with them and the only thing left here were emergency supplies in case of, well, anything.
It didn't take long for Kissara to snoop through the rest of the two-room shack. Before the kettle was even boiled, she was asking her mothers to go outside.
'Stay within the wards.' Hermione signed before zipping up Kissara's coat.
The girl gave her a great big nod. When her mommy let her go, Kissara ran off to find the black blur she had seen earlier.
Hermione returned to the kitchenette and was taken aback at the tears she saw on Bellatrix's face.
"What's wrong?"
"Oh." Bellatrix brushed the tears away. "Absolutely nothing, actually."
"Really?" Hermione raised an eyebrow.
"Really."
Hermione crossed her arms and watched Bellatrix pour the hot water into their cups.
"Well, actually. It's just, Kissara's never addressed me as momma before."
"Really? She's called you that for a little while now."
"Really?"
"Mm-mmm." Hermione gave her a smile. Then a thought crossed her mind. She snorted.
"What?"
"Dr. Bower said Kissara's lip reading was going poorly."
"Yeah, she's not the greatest."
"I think she's faking it. She knew exactly what Harry and I were arguing about."
Bellatrix laughed. "Cheeky. I like it."
Bellatrix's smile faded and her black eyes hovered over Hermione's face.
"What?"
"Thank you. Thank you for caring about me."
"You make it easy."
Bellatrix snorted. "I doubt that."
"Please stay in my room tonight." Hermione's voice sounded whinier than she'd intended.
Bellatrix moved closer and wrapped her arms around her. Hermione pressed their foreheads together. They were closer than they'd ever been and Hermione didn't want it to end. She needed this somehow.
She didn't initiate the kiss, or at least, she didn't think it was her. Bellatrix's lips were soft. When the older woman made to move back, Hermione thread her fingers through dark curls and gently tugged her back to her lips. Bellatrix moaned and Hermione's insides twisted in a not so unpleasant way.
Bellatrix stepped back suddenly. So suddenly Hermione's fingers remained caught in her hair.
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"I- You can't really think this is ok."
"Maybe, maybe not. I – Well..." Hermione took Bellatrix's hand and pulled her closer again, not knowing how to explain why she wanted this entirely daft idea to happen.
Bellatrix closed the distance and placed her lips on hers once more.