Blaze1992: So many crossovers in one CH.
Re: But you didn't see them all coming now did you~?
LoamyCoffee: Going to try and keep it short. Amazing job with the Chocobo.
Wow, see this is what happens when you hang around people that act a certain way. And I can't blame Arthur for reacting the way he is. Glad though that Taiyang has met the team and that Arthur was able to help Ruby.
Ah, the all important sign. Ignore it at your own risk.
I have to say the highlights of the chapter was the appearances of Codsworth and one of my favorite ladies, Chachamaru!~
I'm trembling with excitement~ Also back off, Codsworth! She's too good for you!
But seriously, they need to find a better place than just leaving their excess stuff with Vincent.
Re: What can I say? I just love the Gran Pulse breed of 'em from Final Fantasy 15~ The fact that I was able to breed a Golden Chocobo in Final Fantasy 7 (PS1) was actually part of the inspiration for him, since those suckers can really run in the Golden Saucer chocobo-racing mini-game. The fire-breathing of course is a little bit of RWBY lore thrown into the mix to keep things interesting~
Yeah, among robot stewards, Codsworth and Chachamaru are among my favorites as well. Chachamaru's story arc in particular was quite fun to read once I had the entire Mahou Sensei Negima! collection in paperback. Compared to her, Codsworth's story arc is… a little insubstantial. Funny, but the payoff happens kind of early.
As for the last bit of your Review, true, though if I manage to squeeze one more out of that joke, I'll meet the "rule of three"; unless it doesn't count outside a single chapter…
*NEW WORLD*
Later that evening after making some attempt to sort out where Codsworth and Chachamaru both would be staying…
"Alright, gang! The first of our 'Harem Protagonist Counter-Strategy' meetings is now in session," Coco Adel announced, presiding over a small collective in Team CFVY's room.
However, instead of the room's original occupants surrounding her, the meeting was limited to herself, Yang Xiao Long, Jack Braxton, Haruna Saotome, and Yue Ayase.
"I assume there's a reason for this meeting?" Yue asked over her foreign brand of juice box; Pepper Mango.
"Yue… The purpose of this meeting is pretty self-explanatory," Yang said dryly indicating to the banner overhead, reading Harem Protagonist Counter-Strategy Meeting in big bold letters; literally, in big bold letters. "Each of us here has a friend who's become infatuated with the same guy-"
"Like a harem anime~" Haruna giggled.
"What makes you think he's a 'harem protagonist'?" Jack asked making air quotes. "Being attractive to the opposite sex doesn't automatically make you one of those. I would know; my natural animal magnetism is practically catnip to repressed 'Village Girls' the world over."
"They're not the only ones~" Yang purred not-so-subtly.
"Get a room you two," Coco sighed.
"It's because he's got all the classic hallmarks!" Haruna said exasperated, shunting off the byplay for another time. "Unique eye colors, mechanical limb, a mysterious past, an interesting power, unique hair color-"
"In what universe?" Jack asked skeptically. "There's scads of people with white hair in this world, and what even constitutes a 'unique eye color' anyway?"
"Not in fiction, where prismatic colors denote character importance," Yue hummed.
"Yeah, and on top of all that, girls flock to him like flies to sugar water," Yang added.
"The only way he could be even more of a harem protag would be if he came from another world," Haruna added.
"What, you mean like 'The Woman Who Fell Through the World'?" Yue asked.
"Oh yeah, I remember that story. I used to ready it to Ruby all the time," Yang hummed. "Though honestly, I feel he's more like 'The Man with No Name'."
"Can we please get back on topic?" Coco asked gesticulating to a corkboard propped on an easel behind her. "The most-important facet before going to war is, 'know thine enemy'!"
"I thought the most-important thing was making sure all your horses' shoes had nails," Jack hummed aloud, the others left blinking in his wake.
" . . . Okay fine, I'll ask. Why is it so important for all the horses' shoes to have nails?" Coco asked after a moment.
"For want of a nail the shoe was lost. For want of a shoe the horse was lost. For want of a horse the rider was lost. For want of a rider the message was lost. For want of a message the battle was lost. For want of a battle the kingdom was lost. And all for the want of a horseshoe nail," the Faunus recited with a flourish of his hand.
"I… love it when you flex that big, sexy brain of yours~" Yang swooned.
"My brain isn't the only 'big, sexy' thing I can flex~"
"FOCUS!" Coco shouted, snapping everyone's attention back to the board. "ENEMY! KNOW, THINE!"
In the center of the board was a large picture of the RA, Vincent Valentine, surrounded by yellow sticky notes with facts worded more like questions than actual statements. Orbiting his picture were slightly smaller images of Blake Belladona, Nodoka Miyazaki, and Velvet Scarlatina, a myriad of factoids penned in three different hands surrounding them. Out in farther orbit were even-smaller images of random girls from all across Beacon, a few boys as well, lesser factoids scribbled on the photos themselves. All of them had thumbtacks on them with red string connected to Vincent's picture in the center.
"In addition to catching the eye of Blake who he seduced with food, Nodoka who he saved from taking a spill down some stairs with a 'princess carry', and Velvet whom he jumped out of a window to save, he's also cumulated a following of local fringe groups across Beacon; art majors, cooking majors, some mechanics and Automail enthusiasts, as well as a number of young women from the more-generalized studies who haven't decided on a major yet but whose lives he's touched in some way during his time as a 'handyman' across campus. That he was able to do this in such a short amount of time makes me think he's cut from the same cloth as…"
"As…?" Jack asked waiting for more.
"Not important," she said shaking her head, her tone brokering no farther discussion on that tangent. "What is important is, if he's going to be some kind of heartbreaker where our VIPs are concerned, we'll need to do something about it!" she said slapping Blake, Nodoka, and Velvet's pictures with a pointer.
"Like what exactly?" Yue asked.
"Well for one, find out if the whole 'amnesia' thing is just an act or not," Coco hummed thoughtfully, arms crossed. "I don't know about the other girls, but Velvet's still a little naïve. I wouldn't put it past a guy to act all 'mysterious' to get into her panties. Not with all the urban myths about what Rabbit Faunus are like in bed, after all."
"Are any of those true?" Yang questioned, Coco snatching up one of Yue's depleted juice boxes and chucking it at her. "I deserved that."
"In all honesty, if she hadn't, I would have," Jack hummed, a drop of juice rolling down her forehead.
"What are Rabbit Faunus like in bed?" the blond asked curiously. "I'm asking for a friend."
"You mean your sister?"
"I can neither confirm nor refute that statement."
"If I summarize the answer into three words, can we please get back to the topic at hand?"
"Sure. Lay it on me," Yang hummed, Coco and Haruna leaning forward as well while Yue rolled her eyes.
"Short. Refractory. Period," he said tacking off fingers, the three girls' faces resting on a confused state before their cheeks dusted pink at the implication. "So… The matter at hand?" he hummed looking back at the cork board. " . . . All things considered, not the weirdest meeting I've ever been a part of…"
And this was from a guy who'd led raids on labor camps, death camps, slave camps, and even a summer camp one time on a lark when he was blackout drunk after one hell of an orgy.
Say what you will about other kinds of orgies, but post-mission victory orgies are the best orgies.
What was I talking about again?
"Jack, you're spacing out," Haruna hummed. "Care to share~?"
"I'd rather not."
"Focus!" Coco hissed. "So… Let's start pooling ideas. How, do we prove whether or not, 'Odd-Eyes' amnesia is an act?"
"We could get him diagnosed by an expert," Yue hummed flatly.
"Lame. Next idea!"
"We could ask him a set of questions in varying order and wording to see if we catch him contradicting himself," Yang stated.
"Hm. That's pretty smart. Where'd you come up with it?" Jack questioned.
"My dad used to use it on me and my sister all the time. If our stories didn't match up, well…" she trailed off.
"I'll put that in the 'maybe' category. Anyone else?" Coco asked.
"We could get him blackout drunk, see what he lets slip," Haruna shrugged.
" . . . I like it~!"
"Coco, no, that's immoral-"
"Let's, DO IIIIIT!" Coco said completely ignoring Yue's comment about morality.
"Question."
"What is it, Yang?"
"How will we get him blackout drunk exactly?"
"Well obviously we'll… um… Shit, how will we get him blackout drunk?" she said realizing she had no real plan for that.
'This is just like the summer camp debacle all over again…' Jack thought to himself, contemplating whether or not Blake's future romantic prospects were worth all the trouble.
*NEW WORLD*
Assuming the whole amnesia thing wasn't an act, Coco's group was going to feel really shitty about themselves later for taking advantage of what was a genuine trusting nature in anyone and everyone on the subject of their meeting's part.
"A night out on the town? Sure, what could possibly go wrong?" Vincent asked aloud after they straight-up asked him to go out drinking with them.
Not that they used the word 'drinking' in their invitation, per se…
They say 'you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink'.
That saying would take on a whole new meaning after tonight…
*NEW WORLD*
"So Vincent," Yang hummed as they all rode the 'Jackmobile' into town, "how're you finding Beacon so far?"
"Oh, it's great," the RA replied cheerfully. "Lots of nice people to make me feel at home, lots of smart people to answer any questions I have, and it's never boring."
"Any complaints?" Coco groused.
" . . . They could stand to put in more handrails," he admitted after a moment, Haruna, Yue, and Yang blinking at the comment. "And maybe some sort of mesh screen over the windows so people don't fall out all the time," he added causing Coco to blink. "Not a big fan of the institutionalized racism either…"
Jack, normally the skeptic, would've believed Vincent were only doling out lip service for that last comment… but at the same time a part of him wanted to believe there were more Humans out there as-innocent and idealistic as Ruby was.
"So…" Haruna hummed aloud. "I hear you're like a handyman of sorts?"
"Something like that. Ozpin set me up as a Room Advisor so I'd have room and board without having to be a student, but unofficially I'm called wherever I'm needed to shore up labor shortages."
"I hear you help out students in the other majors," Yue hummed.
"Where I can. Still…" he hummed contemplatively. "I don't recall anything in the art curriculum needing me to take my pants off."
" . . . You're going to need to elaborate," Jack said after a moment; not that he was a stranger when it came to taking his pants off.
"Well, one day they were doing nude paintings and their model was absent, so they asked me to fill in-"
"Say no more," the Faunus interceded.
"No, do say more~" Haruna giggled. "Was it… hard for you to do~? Were you… 'at attention'~?"
"Nothing hard about it. All I did was pose on a pedestal without any clothes on, so I'd like to think I was very attentive to my audience," he shrugged, causing the others to shoot looks at one another, wondering if he was being real with them or not.
"Aaand… you didn't think there was anything weird about that?" Yang asked.
" . . . What are you, stupid? You don't pose for a nude painting with clothes on, you silly goose~" the RA grinned at her broadly.
'And the guy with amnesia is calling me 'stupid'…?' the blond grumbled to herself.
"I think we've heard enough for the time being…" Yue hummed, burying her face into the book she'd brought along.
"Agreed," the others nodded.
"Great!" the RA grinned. "What did we agree on?"
*NEW WORLD*
The Crooked Finger looked like it'd been time-warped straight from the era of medieval inns and taverns; cobblestone foundation, small cloudy windows, angled roofing with lots of shingles, plaster that'd been yellowed by the elements, and chimneys belting out smoke. Its location on Vale's shoreline in the northwestern part of the Industrial District and relative proximity to Patch away from the more-modern infrastructure only served to reinforce the initial impression the Beacon Students got from the place.
" . . . I like it," Vincent hummed. "Looks homey."
'If this guy's putting on an act, he's really putting on an act…' Coco thought as they stood amidst the light spilling out the windows. " . . . Hey Jack, how'd you find this place?"
"Hole-in-the-wall places like this are where criminals with bounties like to hide before skipping town," the Faunus shrugged. "It's far away from Beacon, which is exactly what we need," he whispered.
"Yeah, that's right… We don't want 'Mamma Bear Goodwitch' breathing down our necks," Coco remembered, since the rumor mill had inflated Glynda's guardianship over the RA into full-on adoption. The fact that they wore matching outfits certainly didn't help dissuade such assumptions…
"Since you were so kind to invite me out, first round's on me!" the RA whooped.
"Yeah! Now we're talkin'!" Haruna whooped.
"You think he's onto us?" Jack whispered.
"If he isn't, we're going to feel really shitty about this in the morning," Coco replied.
"Wasn't this whole thing your idea?" Yue questioned before the stragglers walked inside.
*NEW WORLD*
In another time and place where the Creatures of Grimm didn't exist, the restriction on drinking age from a commercial venue would normally be 21 years of age with ID. As that was not the case on Remnant, the normal limit on imbibement was at least 18 years of age, with ID, though some barkeeps used bust size when it came to female patrons.
In a little hole-in-the-wall like the Crooked Finger, those age restrictions were often loosened even further, no cleavage necessary.
The interior, compared to its exterior, was far more modern in amenities, though still possessed most of its original hardwood construction; even if some wear and tear had become visible after several decades. One would think that the ostentatiously-dressed Coco Adel, Yang Xiao Long, and Vincent Valentine would draw everyone's attention to them when the doors opened, like in the old westerns; but amazingly enough, their entrance didn't even warrant a second glance from the inebriated patrons, allowing for the group of six to find themselves a booth without any harassment.
"Hey, you mind if I sketch that?" Haruna asked as Vincent interlaced his fingers on the table, his sculpted limb of chrome coming into view from under his mantle.
"You know, a lot of people have been asking me that question lately," the RA hummed, presenting his limb for the mangaka's viewing pleasure, her pencil going a mile a minute.
"Soooo…" Coco hummed thoughtfully as she eyed the menu. "Which kingdom'd you come from?"
"A lot've people've been asking me that too," the RA hummed scratching at his forehead, revealing the jagged scar beneath his bangs. "Can't say I remember. You know, 'cause I don't…"
Seeing the headwound made the leader of Team CFVY clam up, leaving it up to the next link in the chain to press him.
"So, Vincent…" Yang hummed aloud. "You ever play any drinking games?"
A little more direct than Coco would've liked, but it worked.
*NEW WORLD*
"I feel like I'm the only one who knew this was going to end badly," Yue hummed as Haruna, Yang, and Coco had all been drunk under the table, Jack making the final stand against the seemingly unflappable cyborg in their midst. 'Then again… I didn't think the shoe'd be on the other foot quite like this…'
Though Haruna was a bit of a lightweight, it had still been four-on-one even if Vincent failed to properly realize it. And yet despite all that, playing drinking games with the three girls until their bodies couldn't handle the inebriation any more, the Room Advisor remained sober, his cheeks not even flushed whereas Jack, the final member of their vanguard and having imbibed the most out of his recently-formed faction thus-far, was starting to get tipsy, his dark skin flushed from the spirits.
What made matters worse in Yue's eyes were that the four of them had been cutting their alcohol intake with ice, whereas Vincent's were given to him straight.
"Geez, the hell's your liver made of?" Jack groaned as he downed his next glass. "Tungsten?"
"I don't even know what livers are made of normally~" Vincent grinned as he tipped his head and poured it down, gagging slightly at the taste but still looking like he was having a great time.
"Smart… *urp* ass…" the Faunus groaned as his vision swam.
"You okay there?" Yue questioned as she nursed a tall glass of lemonade, playing the role of "designated driver" even though she didn't have a license.
"Yeah, I'm… fine…" Jack grumbled as he reached for his next drink, only for his hand to slide across the table and palm her petite chest, causing the bookworm's face to flush red.
"Heyyyyyy…~ You got to second base…~" Yang grinned broadly, her face as red as her eyes when she got angry. "I'm willing to share if you are…~ How about it…~?"
"I think you've had quite enough," Yue hummed as she batted Jack's hand aside, taking the grouping in stride since the Faunus was soused beyond the capacity for rational thought.
"Did…" Coco groaned as she pulled herself up into view. "Did we win…?" she groaned when a forehead hit the table, only to realize it was Jack's. "I guess not."
"Excuse me. I need to use the restroom," Vincent said shimmying out of his seat in the booth, the other patrons raucously singing his praises for his 'legendary' four-on-one 'Drinking Duel'. By the looks on their faces they knew the whole thing was 'slanted', but they chose not to comment, assuming the ostentatiously-dressed teen was already aware and was 'just that good'.
" . . . How?!" Yang asked incredulously once she heard the bathroom door swing closed. "How could we possibly lose?! There were four of us! And we had ice!"
"Scientifically, I'm sure the answer would be quite fascinating. However, it's the ethicacy of the whole thing I'm concerned about," Yue stated.
"And not only did we fail to get him drunk…" Coco groaned holding her forehead. "We also didn't learn anything we didn't already know in the case file."
"This guy has a case file?" Jack blinked.
"I got it from his fan club."
"He has a fan club?" Yang balked.
"To be fair, most of the first-year Hunters-in-Training at Beacon do," Haruna groaned. "Weiss and Pyrrha have the largest membership because they were famous before coming to Beacon, Jack's is dominated by the Faunus population after the huge splash he made against his old team, Yang has one because of her smokin'-hot bod, Ruby because she's young and adorable, and Nora… I think she gets on with the health nuts."
"Okay, firstly, if Ruby's fan club is making creepy fan-art of her, I'm going to need to have some words with them," Yang groaned as she made a list. "Secondly… Was this whole thing a wash or not?"
"Until we learn otherwise… we should probably take his story at face value," Jack conceded. "I kept an eye on him all night while I could still see straigh, and he didn't show off any micro-expressions associated with Human lying."
"Do Faunus have different micro-expressions?" Yang blinked.
"Not the time for that…" Jack grumbled, burning up some of his Aura to help take the edge off like Ren had for his Ogre Killer. "But anyway, even if he were a really good liar on the outside, I'd still be able to smell the stink of it."
"What, like BO?" Haruna asked reaching into one of Jack's spent glasses and palming the ice to her forehead.
"Something like that," Jack answered. "Ooogh… This hangover's going to suck."
"Well… I hope your little escapade was worth it then. Because there will be more than the hangovers for the lot of you to endure if I have anything to say about it," a new voice said coldly, pouring ice water down their spines.
'Ohhhhh SHIT…!' four of the five teens gawped as they looked up over their booth to see Glynda looming imperiously over them.
"So… Anything you want to say for yourselves?" she demanded, her icy glare causing the nearby bar-goers to bury their noses into their cups, shot glasses, and steins. "If there's even a remotely reasonable explanation for this, I might just show you some small measure mercy. Although I make no promises," she growled like the 'mama bear' the rumors made her out to be.
" . . . Do you wanna tell her, or should I?" Coco asked aloud.
"Me? This whole thing was your idea!" Jack snapped back.
"Technically it was-"
"Your. Idea," Haruna interceded.
Sure, technically the whole 'Get Vincent Blackout Drunk' idea came from Haruna, but it was Coco who had greenlit the whole thing for deployment. Everyone else at worst were "accomplices".
" . . . Okay, so this whole thing started after Velvet fell out of the library window…" Coco began, wincing as the alcohol stabbed between her eyes.
*ONE EXPLANATION LATER…*
"I can't believe you tried to get Vincent drunk!" Glynda raged once she had found her voice. "And just how much did you make him drink?!" she cried eyeing the glasses before the empty booth seat.
"Key word being 'tried'," Coco countered. "The guy drank all four of us under the table, and he's still sober as a priest."
"Well you'd better hope he stays that way, because if he develops some sort of drinking problem I'm going to-!"
"There, are, five, five, constipated men, in the bibllle, in the bibllle~ There are five, five, constipated men, in the hoooly books of Moses~" the man of the hour suddenly sang drunkenly, completely red in the face and playing a guitar that he'd gotten from… somewhere. It was a beat-up old thing like you'd find in a Lost-and-Found bin, but that was hardly important.
What was important, was that Glynda's jaw dropped as everyone in the bar began to drunkenly sing and clap along, Vincent swaggering atop the counter yet avoiding every glass and sleeping drunk while maintaining his precarious footing.
The lyrics of the song to follow was basically toilet humor for a great deal of the Old Testament; Cain "wasn't able", Moses "took the tablets", Solomon "sat for forty years", Noah "almost filled the arc", and Joshua "blew the walls down". It was quite funny to be honest, the sort of thing you'd hear at a Ren Faire from a 'drunken minstrel'.
"There, are, five-"
"FIVE!" the patrons sang.
"-, five-"
"FIVE!" they whooped.
"-, constipated men, in the hoooly books of Moses~"
The moment the song had come to an end, the last chord strung, Vincent lost consciousness altogether and slumped off his perch. He would've busted his head open on the floor had Glynda not caught him with her telekinesis, the teen drunkenly snoring and cuddling his new guitar to his chest, his face still flushed and his breath positively reeking of alcohol.
"Well…" Coco hummed. "I don't think I'll be able to look at the Old Testament the same way ever again."
The withering look she got from Glynda could've killed the entire standing population of the Emerald Forest.
"Guys… I think we fucked up…"
"Oh trust me, Adel, you are not the only one who thinks that," Jack muttered darkly.
*NEW WORLD*
"So…" Glynda said witheringly as she carried Vincent over her shoulder like a sack of flour, heedless of the drool staining her cape. "What exactly was your intention here? Were you planning on seducing him as well?"
"Oh, so I flirt with you casually one time, and you-"
"Wait, you flirted with teach?!" Yang gawped openly.
"Wouldn't you?" Jack asked.
"Yang Xiao Long, if you deign to answer that question…!" Glynda hissed as lavender eyes raked over her body.
"Yeah, I'd probably swing bi for that~" the blond purred.
"Ha! Good one!" Coco crowed.
"Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week~" Yang grinned.
"If I had my way, you'd be in detention all week!" Glynda hissed. "This whole… debacle might've occurred outside Beacon grounds, but I'm sure I can get the Headmaster to make an example of you lot."
" . . . CHEESE IT!" Haruna suddenly shouted, dragging Yue off in one direction.
"Hey, wait for meee!" Coco shrieked following after.
"Time to go!" Jack said bolting another way.
"Don't you dare leave me behind!" Yang shouted throwing herself onto Jack's back like a limpet.
"Mommy, I don't wanna go to school tomorrow…" Vincent groaned into Glynda's back, her indecision at which guilty party to chase giving the inebriated teenagers the time they needed to scatter. And wasn't it simply amazing how-quickly they could sober up when it came time to haul ass.
" . . . No matter. I know where they live," the woman huffed indignantly. "And don't you dare vomit on my cape."
"Yes, mommy… I love you mommy…" Vincent gurgled, causing the woman to blush as he nuzzled into her cape.
*Siiigh* "You're too good for this world, you know that?" she sighed as she took her drunken adopted son home.
*NEW WORLD*
AN:
"Five Constipated Men in the Bible", at least the rendition shown here, was sung by Axel the Sot and one of my favorite renaissance fair musicians.
He's also my only favorite renaissance fair musician, but you get the idea…
Been planning a chapter like this for ages. Maybe a little more world building-y than I initially thought, but it's fun writing time-wasting shenanigans like this where the fate of the world isn't at stake.
Not that the cast of Giant-Slayer will get to be children forever, of course…