While the inevitable Shutdown of Rooster Teeth might be old news by this point, that won't influence the future of this story.
I've made no secret of the fact that I intend to go massively off-the-rails following the events of Volume 3, so if you wanted to see how Jack, Arthur, Vincent, and the other add-ons to the cast were going to influence Volume 4 and onward, I'm afraid you're out of luck. The World of Remnant is just too radically different from the Canon at this point to have things play out similarly without massive Character Assassination, if not Gross Incompetence.
Not that I'm worried about RWBY going quietly into the night. The fanbase might be… controversial, I guess, but the RWBY IP is just too valuable to throw away wholesale, so I imagine if Volume 10 doesn't get produced, there will at the very least be a Reboot to maybe plug some of the plot holes that have been cropping up over the years, with someone actually planning the entire thing through instead of playing by the seat of their pants.
I'm just thankful the final season of Red vs Blue: Restoration is still going to be made. In case it wasn't obvious with how many quotes and running gags I've borrowed from that series is, not to mention the occasional meta-cameo, I'm a huuuuge fan of RvB. I've probably re-watched the series as many times as I've re-read Toriko. And given that series has 30+ volumes…
But anyway, now that I've said my piece on that, let's move on to the Fanmail section.
To LoamyCoffee, originally, I was going to have Jack's "prepare to be surprised" line be an open-ended joke, but then when I realized there was Nora on the same team as her, that her selling Pyrrha's hair on the side would be just the sort of wacky hijinks we could've gotten if it wasn't only Team RWBY we focused on at the beginning.
As for "Slayerverse Ren" vs "Canon Ren", well, I had a whole backstory lined up for him prior to the whole Oniyuri thing, but then I decided to wrap the Canon & Fanon together, and that left me with a Ren that had a lot more interesting stuff going on for him.
Pyrrha looking like Jaune's hot older sister was a joke I'd been waiting to use since the "Visitors Day" arc, and I'm glad I finally got to let it out. Given how-long Jaune's family was left a mystery to us, it only made sense that I'd go a little wild, giving him a family full of amazing people while he's the runt of the litter, with littler sibling even more-amazing than he.
Just a pinch disappointed that Team JNPR's wacky hijinks didn't elicit a more verbal response, or the fact that I had a flagrant Pokémon crossover which hints at more on the horizon and no-one saw fit to comment on since I was not subtle about it, but let's move on to Chapter 59.
To LoamyCoffee, I sorta just felt like a Hunter Washout would haze the new guy relentlessly. Like, Huntsmen are basically superheroes in that world bordering on celebrity status, but as soon as that well runs dry…
When it comes to Blair, I feel like unless she Transforms in front of a bunch of people, no-one will really associate her with "Vincent's cat" because that's one of those things they don't want to believe in. That a Cat can turn into a Person. As for Ozpin's reaction, given the Relics house what are essentially genies, that's part of the reason for the Shantae crossover into this universe, and how I re-framed the "Seven Sirens".
As for Vincent, it's been tricky writing a convincing amnesiac character, and these rare little peeks into his mind are a great way of getting around the "front" he's been putting up for other people.
To TM11, nothing wrong with liking one OC over another. Reason I have characters like Arthur and Vincent in the story, though, is to flesh out the lacking male cast, and also make it so that Jack doesn't have to solve every problem going on around him. That's a common hangup I see in stories that add "another element" like an additional character. A "bottleneck" that makes things a little too predictable…
To superpierce, when it comes to what inspired the Seven Deadly Sins crossover… Other than finding the story interesting, if not just a pinch formulaic in places, it's lots of little reasons.
In 7DS, the Kingdom of Danafor "vanishing" just vibes with RWBY where the same thing happening isn't a big deal anymore. There's Giants, which also exist in One Piece which is also a crossover in-universe. In the Marchen Awakens Romance crossover there's Magical Items, same as in 7DS where they're called "Sacred Treasures". In 7DSGC, one of the demi-human races are Werewolves, that like their counterparts in Battle Chasers: Nightwar, are also giant wolf-men that wear armor and use weapons. Between Gowther and Penny, I can draw parallels, even with one being the product of Magic and the other being the product of (Magic-like) Science, as well as the both of them being socially awkward. Another thing is that there's quite a few Immortals in 7DS, just like Ozma and Salem in RWBY, and the implied crossover from Negima Magister Magi!
The big one however, is that there's lots of body-snatching in 7DS, just like Ozma's whole spiel. Like, I can't remember all their names off the top of my head because it's been a while, but I know that people have gotten body-jacked more than a half-dozen times. And I haven't even gotten around to the sequel series yet because of my Backlog.
*NEW WORLD*
"Jack! Pyrrha! We got out of bed as soon as we heard!" Jaune called out as he and Ren came up to the gate, the aforementioned returning astride the Taxsheep they borrowed.
"Hey, where's Nora?" the red-head inquired.
"Slept through the whole thing," Ren hummed.
"How do you sleep through three cracks of lightning?" the red-head blinked.
"What I want to know is, how the hell do you sleep when that girl saws more logs than a saw mill," Jack chimed in. "But that can wait. Pyrrha and I dealt with the McGuffin. We'll resolve all of this tomorrow morning."
"Why? What happens tomorrow morning?" Ren asked.
"Don't bother asking. Jack is just being infuriatingly cryptic," Pyrrha sighed before letting out a long yawn.
"Anyway, Jaune, Ren, as long as you've been paying attention in Roland's class, I don't think you'll fuck this up too badly," Jack hummed as he hopped off his mount, Pyrrha once again flopping the landing as her toe caught. "If you absolutely have to crash, get one of us up, don't leave Ren by himself, and if any bandits or Grimm attack, you call for help. You don't try and be 'considerate', that's just dumb."
*NEW WORLD*
A while later as the two boys of Team Juniper patrolled the wall.
"Hey, Ren."
" . . . Yeah?"
"You ever wonder why we're here?"
"We're here because someone's been taking potshots at Lambert's CCT Relay."
"Glugh! No, I don't mean specifically, but in broader cosmic terms."
" . . . No. I never, ever, wonder why we're here. Semper Fi, bitch."
"Keegakergerk!"
"What's up with him?" Jaune blinked as a man in brown armor gurgle/babbled.
"Probably having a stroke or something."
*NEW WORLD*
A few hours later after Jaune and Ren's stamina both began to flag…
"Hey, Pyrrha."
" . . . Yeah?"
"You ever wonder… if you can pick up chicks in a tank?" Nora inquired.
Pyrrha let out a tired sigh at the latest fit of nonsense to come out of the girl's mouth.
*NEW WORLD*
Eventually, dawn broke, Pyrrha and Nora returning from their pre-morning patrols to find Jack getting himself ready for a fight.
Clad in his leather vine-patterned armor from before, sans the weighted components, his Hawkmoon exotic pistol on his thigh, his shotgun/axe on his hip, even as Jaune and Ren slept, he proceeded to give his M-99 Saber a thorough cleaning. It was right as Nora noisily closed the door behind herself that the older teen finished his work, the heavy-duty semi-automatic rifle collapsing down into its "Inactive" form which, like Ruby's own weapon, looked positively adorable when shrunken down.
"Morning, girls," Jack hummed as he strapped the rifle to the small of his back. "Anything interesting happen while I was napping?"
"If it did, you'd have been the first to know," Pyrrha hummed after letting out an exhausted yawn.
"So, you getting ready to kick ass and chew bubblegum in a gum-free, target-rich environment~?" Nora asked eagerly as Jaune and Ren fully roused themselves.
"Something like that," Jack nodded as he rolled his shoulders. "You guys got my back?"
"Of course we do," Jaune spoke up. "Just as soon as we brush our teeth. Don't wanna go out into town with stank-breath."
"I'm next," Nora spoke up. "Gotta commit by bi-daily germicide~"
"You Humans are really fucking weird," Jack hummed.
"Believe me, Nora is the exception, not the rule," Pyrrha said as she scanned over her hairbrush in a fit of paranoia.
"DIE! GERMS! DIE!" Nora raged into her toothpaste-filled mouth.
*NEW WORLD*
After getting a light breakfast at the tavern and swinging by the mayor's residence, Team JJNPR plus the mayor himself made their way into the cheaper section of the residential district, practically brushing against the city wall. The house they eventually stopped before was one of the nicer lower-class domiciles, showing that whoever lived within either cared for it themselves, or had the disposable income to pay others for upkeep.
"And you're absolutely certain as to your findings?" the mayor inquired.
Jack in turn, cast his gaze onto the door, his eyes shimmering with Aura as he panned downward and then through the obstruction. While the Faunus looked at something only he could see, Ren followed suit, and to his consternation, yellow flower petals that only he could see spilled out from under the door as the rest of the world turned to grayscale.
"He's right," Ren hummed as he blinked his eyes. "There is definitely something rotten going on here."
"Well, if it'll stop the attacks and get us our Wi-Fi back," the mayor chuckled, trying to add a little levity to what was about to happen.
In response, Jack whipped out his Ripper and pressed it to the space between the door knob and frame. Inclining his head at the mayor, the rest of Team JJNPR guided the man behind them, Pyrrha hunkering down behind her shield while Jaune and Ren helped him down. Nora on the other hand stood giddily off to the side, and excited coo leaving her lips as Jack *BLAM!* blasted a hole through the door, which swung open without its deadbolt.
Jack stepping into the empty domicile and into the backroom, proceeded to rip away floorboards with his bare hands before reaching into a recess and grab at something.
"HEY! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!"
Team JNPR and the mayor turning around, saw a grumpy-looking middle-aged balding man with a scar running diagonally town his face stalking angrily towards him. Other than being well-built and wearing a nice pair of boots, breeches, and a jacket with a beartrap-shaped insignia on the breast, little else was remarkable about him.
"Mr. Hunter, the cause of the recent attacks on our Relay has been-"
"And who the hell is in my-HEY! Put that back! It doesn't belong to you!" the scar-faced man raged the moment he saw Jack retrieve what he broke & entered for.
"It doesn't belong to you either," Jack said in a flat tone as he stepped out into the light, Team JNPR and the gathering crowd letting out shocked gasps at what he came into the light of day holding.
It was a cast iron cage the size of a pet carrier, the bars marred by claw marks, teeth marks, and bits of rust; held within the well-worn cage were three tiny fox pups. Their fur was predominantly brown, the tips of their bushy tails and "flufftastic" collars colored like cream. Their legs were short and slender, their ears long and pointed, while their large brown eyes were filled with fear as they pressed themselves to the back of the cage away from the owner of the house Jack had just invaded. Two of them looked like they were in the 15-pound range, while the runt of the litter looked like it'd be 10 pounds when wet.
"Hey, I trapped those things myself! That means they're mine!" the man growled as he clenched and unclenched his fists, the gathering crowd beginning to mutter.
"No, you abducted them, and now there's one pissed-off mama taking pot shots at town," Jack growled back, his hair beginning to stand on end as a pressure exuded off of him. "The lack of Wi-Fi is only a small irritant now, but eventually you'll draw in the Grimm no matter how fluffy your pillows and duvets are."
"That's a load of baloney! This and that have nothing to do with each other!" the man spat jabbing a finger from the cage to the tower.
"Oh? Let's test that theory~" Jack grinned as he set the cage down before whipping out his Hawkmoon. The old hunter stepping back as the engraved barrel leveled itself at him, the next moment Jack aimed it up and over the wall, firing a loud *BANG-BANG-BANG*BANG*BANG*BANG!* volley of gunfire into the sky. The hunter, about to let out a guffaw, instead let out a startled yelp as the *KRAKOW!* of lightning across a clear sky struck the tower in the middle of town.
Once would've been waved off as coincidence, but that the lightning struck three times in a row followed by another three with wider intervals, was in of itself quite damning.
"I think I've made my point," Jack said as he lifted up the cage once more and turned to leave. The older man going red in the face as the townsfolk muttered around them, he whipped out a battered-looking M-96 Mattock assault rifle.
Before he could level it at the Faunus' back however, the cocking of several firearms and the rasp of a sword leaving its sheath at his back sounded. Slowly looking over his shoulder, the old hunter spied the four outsiders leveling their own weapons at him, the red-head in particular looking especially incensed.
"Drop it. Or else I drop you," she growled as her finger rested upon the trigger of her mechashift rifle.
"Guards, arrest him," the mayor spoke up as his face grew stony, three men in their early 20s clad in guards' uniforms rushing through the crowd with various small arms. "Mr. Hunter, let us discuss the state of your residency… in the town jail."
The old hunter furiously gritting his teeth as his big payday was carried away, he then whirled to take aim at the mayor, only for Team JNPR to fall upon him.
Jaune was first, slashing at the man's arm, his Aura blocking the hit. Pyrrha was next, throwing her shield at his gut, this too the man blocked. Ren opened up with one of his pistols, the man shielding his face, but it was Nora who struck the deciding blow, swinging upward with a powerful underhanded strike of her Magnhild right between the man's legs. The gathered crowd wincing and/or holding their male genitals, the older hunter's eyes widened as Nora's finger landed on the trigger before setting off the grenade launcher, blasting the man skyward with a plume of pink smoke.
His body pinwheeling up through the air and rising higher than the town walls, after hanging in the air for but an instant he came back down upon the roof of his domicile with a loud *THUD* followed by the *THUMP* of his body hitting the ground, and then the *Kra-Hiss* of his Aura breaking.
"We'll uh… just leave him in your hands," Pyrrha hummed awkwardly as she holstered her weapon before she and her team ran off after Jack, who by this point had gotten to the where the Taxsheep were tied down, its wool styled up into dual rows of seating.
"Pyrrha, take the reins," Jack instructed.
"Shotgun!" Jaune whooped.
"I outrank you. Get in the back."
"Fuck," he swore as Jack took his desired seat, the fox cubs in the cage far calmer than they'd been before.
*NEW WORLD*
Cue RWBY Soundtrack – All Our Days
The quartet leaving Lambert behind them, rehashed ground that Jack and Pyrrha had trod the night before. In the bright of day like this, the "normal-sized" sheep happily milled about, their bleating and mastication a soothing white noise compared to the hum of the town they'd just departed. The forest coming into view, the fox cubs in the cage began to let out excited cries that sounded a bit like *Vee*Vee*Vee*
While Jack and the driver were relatively nonplussed, Jaune, Nora, and Ren were wide-eyed at the fantastical-looking creature waiting for them, its yellow fur and white spiky collar even more vivid in the light of day against the verdant hues of the woods.
"That mama sure is… yellow," Jaune hummed aloud.
"Wait, that's what's been shooting lightning all this time?" Nora blinked. "So coooool~!"
"Hush," Jack chastised as he leapt off the Taxsheep and walked toward the electric mother.
"Hold on a sec, how are you going to open-" *RIIIIP!* "-nevermind," Jaune hummed as Jack ripped the cage door open with brute force, the trio of fox kits letting out excited *Veeveeveeveevee*s as they bound up to their mother. The animal's expression softening as she nuzzled her babies, the members of JJNPR save Jack and Ren let out high-pitched coos at the diabetes-inducing sight.
"So uh… Wanna fill us in on what's going on?" Jaune asked after getting his daily allowance of fluff.
"Those are Spirit Beasts, animals with tremendous amounts of Aura in them that can use Artes more-freely than any Human or Faunus, with intelligence that matches or outright surpasses," Jack answered. "That hunter trapped the three babies before running back into town. Probably to sell them to the highest bidder. Humans just love to pay for rare animals they can't adequately care for."
"And you learned all this… how exactly?" Nora asked.
"Invisible magic," Pyrrha deadpanned.
"Ah, I see. Yeah, that makes sense," Nora nodded with a hand on her chin as she took the red-head's words at face value.
"As long as no-one else in town messes with things they shouldn't, they should have unrestricted Wi-Fi access by the end of the day," Jack hummed as he turned away.
"Um, Jack? I think she wants another word with you," Pyrrha said pointing back to the forest.
Jack looking over his shoulder, saw the three fox pups sitting obediently by the bushes while the mother walked right up to him. Their eyes meeting, the next moment he felt fangs lightly digging into his hand before the very large foxlike Spirit Beast dragged him away from Team JNPR and toward the woods.
Or more-specifically, toward her babies. Bringing his hand up to the runt's head, Jack scratched the tiny fox between the ears for several long seconds, Ren having to hold Nora back from interposing in the utterly adorable moment. After about a minute Jack pulled away, only for the mother to grab his hand and pull him back to the baby once again. The Faunus rubbing the adorable fox cub for a minute longer, the next moment it was picked up by the scruff of its neck, the mother standing up on her hindlegs and pressing the baby Spirit Beast into Jack's arms. The mother delivering some kind of unspoken message with her eyes, the family of foxes all nuzzled up to the runt of the litter, letting out tiny barks and yips before, to Team JNPR's surprise, the mother and her larger cubs scampered off into the forest, actually leaving the runt behind.
"Jack…?" Pyrrha blinked amazedly as Jack came back to them, the tiny ten-pound fox held in his arms like a baby.
"I think… she thought the runt of her litter would do better with me, than out here in the wild…" Jack said as he looked over his shoulder, and then back to the furry loaf in his arms, the fox kit looking up at him with big brown eyes. "I mean, I've heard stories about this sort of thing, but-"
"I WANNA TOUCH IT!"
"Nora! You just killed the moment!" Jaune whined as her sudden moment made the infant Spirit Beast press itself further into the Faunus' chest.
"So then… a magical pet with superpowers?" Ren groused.
"Is Aura 'magic'?" Jack asked with a raised brow before he held the baby at arm's length by the armpits, giving it a long look before nodding his head. "Don't worry, girl. I won't let the scary lady touch you."
"HEY!"
"Well… I guess Team Ruby will be dying from cuteness overload sometime soon," Jaune hummed aloud.
"Just the way god intended~" Nora sighed wistfully.
"What are you going to name her?" Pyrrha asked as Jack leapt up onto his seat, the red-head climbing up after him and taking the reins.
"I was thinking… Vivi," he smiled fondly.
"Seriously?" the red-head deadpanned.
"Hey, when you get a fur-baby of your own, you can name them whatever the hell you want," Jack said with a flat stare; one the recently rechristened 'Vivi' looked up at before turning at Pyrrha and mirroring in turn.
"Cuteness… overload…!" Nora gasped dramatically with her hand to her chest. "Ren…! Fill my casket… with… pancaaaaakes…!" she said clawing at his shirt while going boneless.
"Of course that's what your last words would be," the raven-haired teen sighed.
*NEW WORLD*
After Team JJNPR assured the mayor that the addition of their new "mascot" wouldn't inspire any sort of reprisal from an irate mother with the power of a storm cloud, they decided to help out for a few hours longer, if only to assure the populous they weren't going to cut and run right before something did happen.
Pyrrha, famous even all the way out in the sticks, offered to train the guards in a few of her "big city moves" as they called them, with Jaune serving as both teaching assistant and student. Nora went off to play with the lambs because Jack's most-recent acquisition made her "fur-baby-crazy", leaving Ren to supervise her so she wouldn't cause trouble for the locals. Jack, after helping ferry the replacement parts all the way to the top of the relay, went off to the town market; most of the stock was hand-crafted goods from the locals, for the locals, but a few of the vendors were out-of-towners there to ply their trade and cater to niches that Lambert wasn't capable of meeting itself.
The travelling merchants stuck out like sore thumbs with their "exotic goods" unavailable in the bulk of Vale, but to someone as well-traveled as Jack, the market and all its component pieces were something he'd seen dozens of times throughout his life, in dozens of places throughout the bulk of Remnant save for Altas which he swore off after the... incident.
Word had quickly spread how Jack had resolved the issue plaguing their town, and a few even recognized him as the "Demon of Whitechappel", though the latter only did so in hushed tones, so as to not draw his attention. Or his ire.
Vivi for her part was scared senseless of all the human attention she was receiving, but found comfort in Jack's arms as he held her close. When the townsfolk started getting a little handsy, the Faunus let slip some of the murderous intent perpetually bubbling beneath the surface, townsfolk and ruminant alike toppling over in a dead faint if they didn't run for their lives.
"So… um… You shopping for a lady friend?" a little old lady at one of the kiosks asked Jack as he perused through her stock of hair accessories.
"Something like that," Jack replied as he held Vivi in his hands, waving the Spirit Beast over the wares like a metal detector.
She seemed wholly uninterested in the stock on the table, but when he waved her under the stock dangling from overhead, her attention was piqued, a tiny brown paw reaching up to play with a length of shiny emerald-colored ribbon.
"I'll have a length of that, please," Jack said as he cradled Vivi to his chest, his free hand fishing in his pockets for some bills.
"Of course, sir," the old woman replied with a fond smile as she reached up and snipped a length of shiny emerald ribbon with a well-used pair of scissors, the song of blade on blade showing many dedicated years of care. "Would you like me to dovetail it for you?"
"Yes, please," the Faunus replied, the old woman folding the ends together and making additional diagonal cuts before handing the finished product over.
*NEW WORLD*
"Kawaiiiii~!"
"Careful, Nora. Your weeabu is showing," Jack deadpanned good-naturedly as the ginger-haired girl gushed over Vivi, who now had a shiny emerald ribbon tied into a bow around the base of her left ear, the dovetailed ends trailing behind her.
"It is?! Where!?" she cried redistributing her bandwidth to fret over her attire.
"Well I think she looks just lovely," Pyrrha smiled beatifically as she slowly reached out a hand, going to scratch Vivi behind the ear when she didn't flinch away.
"You think she'll ever want to come back here?" Jaune asked glancing in the direction mother and child parted. "To her family, I mean."
"Well, you know the old saying. A great love is a lot like a good memory," Jack began. "When it's there, and you know it's there, but it's just out of your reach, it can be all that you think about. And you can focus on it, and try to force it. But the more that you do, the more you seem to push it away. But if you're patient, and hold still… Maybe. Just maybe, it'll come to you."
"That… That was beautiful, man…~" Nora sniffed.
"Wait, to you mean literally, or in abstract?" Jaune blinked.
"And like that, the magic is gone," the ginger deadpanned.
"Yes," Jack replied.
"And now he's infuriatingly cryptic again," Pyrrha sighed wistfully as she continued to scratch Vivi behind the ear, the little Spirit Beast making it known when the red-head overstayed her welcome with a tiny paw smack. "Awww~ You're too cute to stay mad at~"
*NEW WORLD*
Eventually high noon rolled around, and after stocking up on some dried meats, bread, and cheeses for their hike to the next town over, the mayor signed off on their mission form and bade them farewell.
"Safe travels, Team Juniper!" the once-again laid-back mayor bade farewell, a number of townsfolk gathering at the gate and giving them a heartfelt send-off.
"How nice," Pyrrha sighed prettily as they all waved back, the hum of the town soon giving way once more to the bleating of sheep and the winds rolling over the plains. "Hey, Jack."
"Hm?"
"Scale of one to ten, how-badly do you think Team Ruby will gush over your new fur-baby?" the red-head inquired.
"Oh, easily an eleven," the Faunus smiled, the topic of conversation poking up from her place in Jack's hood and letting out an adorable *Veevee~*
"Well, I don't doubt that," she smiled reaching out to scratch the fox-like Spirit Beast's chin.
"Hey Jack, I have a question."
"Jaune," the Faunus regarded.
"Do missions always wind up not being straightforward?" Jaune asked. "I mean… I thought maybe it'd be bandits, or a rogue Huntsman shooting out that lightning, but I never thought it'd be the thing from my mom's fairy tales after some creep stole her kids."
"Kits."
"Nora, not now."
"Sometimes things are straightforward, sometimes they aren't," Jack shrugged. "What's important is you keep an open mind and not take what anyone says at face value without seeing for yourself. And if you're sent on some kind of manhunt, double-check to make sure you aren't being sent after someone your client still owes money too."
"Why? Has that happened to you before?"
"I'm the one who got assholes sicced on him."
"Oh. Yikes," the blond winced.
"Nah, it's cool. All I did was beat them up and steal their stuff before sending them on their way."
"Oh is that all?" Pyrrha hummed with an eyeroll, her expression softening once again as Vivi looked at her with those adorable brown eyes of hers. "Aw whooza good girl? You is~ Yes you iiis~"
"Ren."
"Yeah?"
"If I ever get that sappy and girly, smack me," Nora instructed succinctly.
"Well, I do believe in gender equality," the Mistrali teen nodded thoughtfully with his hand on his chin.
*NEW WORLD*
As Team JJNPR made their way to the next population center on their route home, a thought occurred.
"Hey, how come we didn't get one of those Taxsheep for the trip back?" Nora inquired after realizing how much walking they'd been doing, away from a place where the sheep grew to the size of soccer vans.
"Because out-of-town they charge by the hour and Jaune isn't made of money."
"Hey, why would I have to-Never mind," the blond deadpanned as Jack glanced his way.
"That, and, like I said before, the only time crunch we're on is self-imposed," Jack continued. "As long as we don't dick around too much, we should be able to get to Rockwell and hitch a ride back to Vale with time to spare."
"Jack."
"Yes, Ren?" the Faunus asked as they approached a fork in the road, landmarked by a large, out-of-place boulder.
"Why did you let these guys get so close?" Ren inquired as more than a dozen seedy-looking men in equally seedy-looking clothes suddenly left their hiding places, surrounding them on the forest path.
"Because none of them were particularly strong," the Faunus replied as they brandished… rather ordinary-looking weapons.
"Heh heh heh~ You won't be saying that for long~" one of them giggled.
"Twenty-nine…"
"Drop your supplies and your clothes, and we'll let you live~"
"Fifty-five…"
"We will… we… what are you-"
"No, go on. Continue, don't mind me," Jack waved off, that same smile never leaving his face.
"Aaanyway… How'd you girls like to hang out with some real men~?"
"Ooh, wow, forty-nine!"
"That's- What the hell are you doing?!" one of them screeched.
"Oh, sorry, it's just a little hobby of mine. You see, I hear these bandit speeches so wearily often, so I started making a mental list of how many times I've heard certain lines," Jack quipped, the others having long since drawn their weapons.
"Y-you're insane…!"
"One-hundred and ninety."
"Yeah?! Well, uh… we're going to… fuck your face!"
"Oh-ho-ho, oh my!" Jack chuckled. " . . . Twelve."
"Rrgh! Just wait until our boss gets here!"
"Three-hundred and fifty-six."
"Okay, seriously! Have you actually heard these lines that many times?!" another cried exasperatedly.
"Eleven."
"RRRRGH! SHUT! UP!"
"Sixty-four."
"Oh, do shut up, you louts. You're making right fools of yourselves," a cultured voice unfit for company amongst highwaymen spoke up as their owner stepped around the conspicuous boulder.
He was an unassuming man, plain in the face, looking to be in his mid-20s, but clad in a purple hooded cloak like a stereotypical mage. The most-outstanding futures about him were his hands, which ware gnarled like tree roots, looking like transplants from someone more than thrice his age, and the pendant dangling from those gnarled hands; a pewter-colored necklace with a pendant resembling a demonic hand holding fanned cards.
The latter immediately set Jack's neck-hairs standing on end as it was raised to eye level.
"Darkness ÄRM: Sleight of Hand!"
The pendant letting out a surge of black-colored light that rolled outward in a wave, the next moment swords, guns, and shields fell to the ground like rain.
Not because the bandits had surrendered their arms, and not because Team JJNPR had let their weapons go either, but because their gear had fallen through their hands, which had become smoky and ghost-like.
"Wh-What the heck?! I can't pick up my sword!" Jaune cried as he scrambled for his fallen blade, the gathered bandits laughing long and hard as his hands passed around the weapon like smoke.
"Just a little something I picked up~" the bandit leader taunted as he gave the mystical object a jangle. "Now, about those weapons, and those clothes, and those women…~"
"The funny thing is, in any other circumstance, you might've had a point there," Jack said in a jovial tone that sliced through the dread Team JNPR was feeling at their 'disarmament' as he held out his arms like a man beckoning for a hug, "but it's obvious that while this song and dance would work on most-everyone else, you don't know jack about me~"
"Oh? And why's that?" the lead highwayman inquired.
Cue Soulcalibur Legends OST – Like a Glint of Light
"Because if you had… You'd have known that having my hands tied, wouldn't change a damn thing~" he grinned as he got into a kickboxing stance, his arms crossed down and in front of himself like he were in shackles. "Pyrrha, do you know what day it is?"
"Um, I believe it's Satur-"
"Today…! IS! MY! CHEAT! DAYYYYYY!" he grinned as bloodlust began to visibly pour out of him, the gathered highwaymen fumbling for their weapons as Jack moved in on them with an explosive burst of speed. "Cerberus Strike!"
The first three bandits received powerful kicks to the throat so-fast it looked like Jack had sprouted an additional two legs alongside the first, each one clad with the head of a black hound.
"Crescent Moon!"
A rising backflip kick that traced the arc of a crescent moon in the light of day struck another bandit, sending him pinwheeling through the air before landing harshly on his neck.
"Swallow Dance!"
Two spinning kicks lifted another into the air before an aerial axe kick sent him to the ground.
"Dragon Dance!"
Another two spinning kicks lifted another, only for a mid-air backflip-kick to send his head knocking violently into another.
"Dragon's Talon!"
Two roundhouse kicks followed by a series of rapid forward kicks capped with another roundhouse flattened another.
"Wolverine!"
Three roundhouse kicks and a sweeping low kick followed by a rising bicycle kick destroyed another.
"Crescent Dark Moon!"
Three roundhouse kicks followed by a rising backflip kick snaped the neck off another.
Of course, Jack wasn't the only one getting his feet dirty. While Ren's hands were useless, the rest of his body was not; leaping up into the trees and draping his arms over a branch, the Mistrali teen proceeded to kick out with both legs into the empty air. The bandits giggled only for an instant before they were assaulted by a "riot" of Storm Leg air slashes, those with Aura tanking the hits while those without were mauled.
"Yeah! Work those legs!" Nora whooped, having way too much fun as she elbowed bandits in the face or kicked them in the nuts, her 'thunder thighs' lifting them from their feet as genitals popped like grapes. A big one tried to get Nora from behind, only for the girl to kick off a tree, wrap her meaty thighs around his neck, and choke him out until *POP!* she broke his neck. "Thunder thighs take lives!" the ginger-haired girl cackled as she released the bandit from her plush-yet-muscular grip, making those around her rethink their life choices.
And Vivi wasn't idle either. Though she didn't have nearly the same amount of stopping power as her mother, she was able to zip in and out of the underbrush like a furry dodgeball, breaking stances and destabilizing footings, spitting out the occasional golden star that burst like glitter bombs.
Pyrrha, for her part, witnessing first-hand the raw power and conviction behind each of the Faunus' strikes, finally had it dawn on her what he had been talking about with the power of Impression. Believing so-strongly in yourself didn't only get the most out of your Aura, but your own body as well. And she had to admit, watching him use "named attacks" to mow through bandits like a scythe through wheat was a spectacle to behold, and a terror to be on the receiving end of.
Not that she wasn't without her own measure of fear. After she tried and failed to pick up her weapons, the red-head took to lashing out with her long muscular legs, realizing just how-terrifying something like a Darkness ÄRM could be when it was more than an anecdote in a history book. Unlike a Semblance which was one-to-a-person and died with the user, an ÄRM could be picked up and used by anyone, and as she'd learned from grappling with Jack's Guardian ÄRM: Saint Anger, some of the magical artifacts were tactically more-powerful than some Semblances.
"GAHHHH!"
"JAUNE!" Pyrrha cried as the blond was tackled to the ground.
Before her partner could be made into a hostage and turn the tides back in the bandits' favor, with a swing of her hand, her shield quivered on the ground before her [Polarity] sent it flying through the air, the Dipylon shield bouncing between heads with a loud *CRACK-CRACK-CRACK* of metal caving in skulls.
The red-head bringing phantasmal hands up to her mouth as three bloodied bodies dropped to the ground around her partner, another couple tried to rush her, only for Jack to backflip from his latest engagement and come down at them with a cry of- "Twin Eagle Rage!" -, diving feet-first into the both with devastating force.
"You-Your hands are gone!" the mage-like bandit cried in a panic as his men fell one by one. "You can't be this strong! You just can't!"
"I can think of a number of young ladies who would prove you wrong~" Jack taunted with a smirk.
"A-As long as I'm alive, you'll never get your hands back!" the man squealed as he dangled his ÄRM threateningly between them.
"Does it look like I need my hands to end your miserable life~?" Jack sneered as he turned his back on the man and squared his stance, exaggeratedly purging the air from his lungs before his glutes swelled in size with a metallic *CLANG!* like a hammer on an anvil.
"OAH! Ass ahoy!" Nora yelped taking a step back from the muscular derriere, threatening to rip Jack's cargo pants at the seams.
"The Ass of Vajra:…" Jack intoned meaningfully as the air around him shimmered like a mirage, the ÄRM-wielding bandit scrambling to run away, only to crash face-first into the boulder splitting the path and discombobulate himself. "VAJRASS SPEAR!" he shouted as he backflipped thrice over to build momentum before launching himself ass-first at a breakneck pace.
His battle aura manifesting into the shape of an Indra wielding a spear, the next moment he struck the bandit's Aura with a deafening *BOOM!*, the boulder splitting down the middle, as did the bandit's spine, with a bone-chilling *CRACK!*
"WHOA!" Nora gawped, the others flabbergasted, even Ren, as the bandit leader fell to the ground, Darkness ÄRM falling from his hand.
An instant later a wave of magic washed back into the mystical object, the corporality of their hands returning.
END OST
"Oh, thank god that was only temporary!" Jaune panted as he reclaimed his sword and shield.
Unlike the family heirloom he'd borro-… stolen, these he'd bought with his own hands after parting with his treasured X-Ray & Vav comics. As such, there was an attachment here he hadn't possessed with Crocea Mors.
"Still, though, what's a Darkness ÄRM doing in the hands of a bandit?" Pyrrha asked worriedly looking down at it, and then at the gnarled-handed man who seemed to have passed out from shock, if not dying outright.
"Probably klepped it off some antique dealer somewhere," Jack said as he rubbed at his ass, which slowly returned to its normal size and definition, before picking the cursed implement up with a stick and sliding it into one of his cargo pockets. He then lifted one of the bandit's wrists up and examined the hand before postulating- "This must be the 'curse' of the Darkness ÄRM; in exchange for stripping others of the use of their hands, the wielder of the Sleight of Hand in turn steadily loses the use of their own."
"So a Darkness ÄRM is basically an 'irony machine'?" Nora asked as she nudged the bandit leader's leg with her foot, Jaune hissing when he saw the mangled state of the man's back.
"My takeaway is how effective a Keijo move was off the Land," Ren hummed.
"Keijo? Wait, you mean that weird pool sport from TV where everyone tries to butt-push everyone else into the water?" Jaune blinked as a memory came up.
"Well, not everyone with a Semblance becomes a Hunter," Pyrrha admitted.
"And it's ass and tits, Jaune," Nora chastised lightly. "Educate yourself!"
"Like I was saying," Pyrrha cut back in after being cut off, "some turn their attention towards tradeable skills and the like. Others…"
"Become filthy bandits," Nora hummed aloud causing Pyrrha to rib her.
"Still, how do you know that technique?" Ren asked with a raised brow.
"I dated a Keijo player during a gig as a bouncer~" Jack grinned with an eyebrow waggle.
"So wait, does that make you a tit man or an ass man?" Nora inquired. "Cause this whole will-they-won't-they with Weiss and Yang is giving me mixed signals, here."
"It isn't the size of the tits that are important to me. It's the size of the heart behind the tits."
"That'd have sounded much more romantic if you hadn't used the word 'tits'…" Pyrrha deadpanned.
"You know how I do," Jack shrugged. "Anyway, it probably goes without saying, buuuuut…"
"Um… Tie up the living so they can be arrested?" Jaune suggested.
"Let's loot their pockeeeets!" Nora whooped.
"And also what Jaune said," Jack nodded.
*NEW WORLD*
" . . . Am I the only one who thinks this is morbid as hell?" Jaune asked as they finished separating the living and the dead.
Spoiler Warning: Apart from the guy that Jack paralyzed with an over-glorified moon landing, almost all the others were dead.
"I mean, you're not the only one," Pyrrha admitted as she watched Nora roll another underwear-clad body into a ditch. A ways away, while Ren folded up all the clothes and bound them with twine, Jack took stock of all the weapons and the contents of the bandits' pockets.
All of their loot/spoils would be traded at the next village for supplies and/or board, with little care as to how much they actually bartered for. And apart from the one guy with the gnarled hands, no-one else had any outstanding bounties on their heads.
"Jack, don't you think we could act a little more humanely?" Jaune asked as Nora checked to see if the tied-up bandits were still alive.
"Why? They're just lazy bums who don't want to work for a living and don't mind taking from people that do," Jack said with a flat stare.
"Well, okay, yeah, but-"
"And I don't think I need to remind you what they had planned for Pyrrha and Nora. And possibly you or Ren."
"I am a sexy beast," Ren hummed in a joking tone.
"And don't forget, you did execute that one guy."
"Like a boss~" Nora grinned.
"So don't act like you're innocent in all this," Jack continued as he chucked the garbage weapons into the bushes. "Welp… That should be about finish everything up. Let's grab the living and bounce," he said clapping the dust from his hands. "Who's in the mood for some travel music? I know I am."
*NEW WORLD*
Tom the Bandit came from a little no-name village in the middle of nowhere. As in it literally had no name, and was in the middle of nowhere where none of the other villages had names either.
One day a traveler came to town and offered him a gig. A gig where he could make a month's earnings in a week, and all he'd need to do was a little grunt work. Maybe rough some people up. People who would always have more than he ever did, who would look down on him and sneer without a moment's hesitation.
His parents tried to tell him not to go, but what did they know? They were nothing but poor dirt farmers. All the way back to when their ancestors first crawled out of their caves, they were dirt farmers, and he wanted more out of his life than to die a dirt farmer after siring yet more dirt farmers to uphold the family legacy of farming dirt.
So, Tom the Dirt Farmer eventually became Tom the Bandit. Their boss' magical trinket made what they did to travelers a breeze, though they still needed the numbers game when dealing with Hunters. Exactly the sort of people who got to live the good life while he was back at home, digging around in the dirt and never getting ahead in life.
Today was just supposed to be more of the usual. A group of brat travelers all full of themselves with their nice clothes and fancy weapons and pretty girls.
But then everything went horribly wrong when the animal-eared freak kicked more ass without his hands than any of them ever could with their own.
It was a slaughter, and by some miracle he'd been able to play dead convincingly-enough that he got kicked into the ditch with all the other dead bodies. If he ever got a gang of his own, he'd make that ginger-haired girl his bitch, break her real good, but that could only happen if he got free and clear.
As soon as anything of value had been pinched, the travelling brats made their leave. As soon as their "traveling music" wafted off into nothingness, Tom the Bandit crawled out from under the other bodies in the ditch and hauled ass to their hideout.
It majorly sucked, trudging through the woods with no shoes and no pants, but if he could just get to their gang's stash in their hideout, he could haul ass to another town, start the grand tradition over of not having to work when there were suckers to do that for him.
Said hideout was a cavern dug into a low cliff face, big enough for the lot of them when they didn't feel like stepping outside after a big haul.
Place was empty, everyone else was dead, but that just meant he could load up everything of value and start over. He still had too many years in him to retire to some Podunk town and do what he left home to get away from.
So! After booting up a gravity sled they salvaged from a crashed airship a while back, loading up everyone's travel boxes and their boss' cut of the loot, making his way back towards daylight, he felt pretty good about himself.
Stepping out of the cave with spoils in hand, Tom the Bandit didn't even see the revolver shot that killed him.
*NEW WORLD*
Pyrrha found it a little confusing when, a minute after walking up the forest path, that Jack came to a stop. Not only that, but that he killed the travel music he went out of his way to make a point about.
Some of that confusion was assuaged when one of the bodies from the ditch got back up and ran into the woods.
Team JNPR with prisoner in tow, bound and gagged, followed after him. At first, Pyrrha assumed Jack was letting the guy lead them back to the bandits' camp so he could round them all up in one fell swoop.
What she didn't expect, was for him to blast the brains out of that last guy with his fancy hand cannon the moment he stepped out of his cave.
"Jack! That was needlessly cruel!" Pyrrha gasped as the nameless bandit's body hit the ground.
"Also, that looked way too practiced," Jaune deadpanned as Jack blew gun smoke from the barrel, Nora stepping forward to catch the runaway gravity sled.
"Not a crime. There's no cops in the forest," Jack said twirling his hand cannon before holstering it in a flourish. "Well, I think this turned out to be a pretty good haul. Got a nice grav sled to carry our loot to the next town and a bunch of crap to sell."
"Shouldn't we, you know, try to give this stuff back?" Jaune offered.
"To who exactly? Everyone those bandits stole from is probably dead or too embarrassed to fess up."
"But they said-"
"Since when do you ever take bandits at their word?" Ren cut him off. "What is this, a Saturday morning cartoon?"
" . . . "
"I still say we could've taken him alive," Pyrrha said offering a prayer to the man Jack just killed.
"Why? Who would want to pay his room and board?" Jack asked with a tilt of his head. "Hell, I've known people who caused a drunken disturbance just so they wouldn't have to pay for a hotel room."
"People like whom?"
"Dunno. I was too drunk to remember."
"I can't tell if you're joking or not," Pyrrha deadpanned, since that anecdote was a very distinct possibility.
"Awww, it's mostly clothes and junk," Nora pouted as she looked into one of the trunks.
"Eh, we'll go through it all at the next town," Jack shrugged as he threw the paralyzed bandit leader on top of the pile. "Vivi, watch the prisoner."
*Veevee~* the little Spirit Beast chirped merrily as she leapt out of his hood and planted herself atop the body.
"Anyway, I was going to wait until after the mission to give these to you guys, but seeing as how you got some hands-on experience with magical artifacts, I figure I can give you these sooner rather than later," Jack said as he began digging through his own bag before coming out with a handful of pewter-colored trinkets. "You know, now that you've gotten over the hangup of 'magic isn't real'."
"Wait, are those-"
"ÄRM? Yes. Yes they are," Jack said as he tossed them out one by one, Jaune receiving a bangle, Nora and Ren receiving charm bracelets, and Pyrrha a ring.
"So um... How do we use them?" Jaune blinked.
"Channel some Aura into the trinkets. The ÄRM will do the rest."
"What about their names?" Pyrrha asked, remembering Jack's song & dance from after receiving his Guardian ÄRM from Lady Palutena.
"Calling out their names isn't entirely necessary," Jack dismissed. "It's more of an 'autosuggestive trigger' to help you channel Aura into something other than a... forcefield."
"Guess it's better than being known for the other thing," Jaune sighed as emerald eyes fell on him.
"Weapon ÄRM: Battle Hammer!" Nora suddenly called out, her charm bracelet exploding into rays of starlight before coalescing into a mallet with a head larger than a cinderblock. The edges and corners were beveled, the larger sides decorated with the Norse Triquetra, and the handle had braided leather with a matching thong dangling from the end. "Awwwww, it's so cute and little~" the red-head cooed as she rubbed her cheek against one of the Triquetra.
"Well, as long as you don't say that when a guy's pants are down," Jack hummed as Nora spun her new Weapon ÄRM by the thong, the beveled edges and corners whistling against the air.
"It's really that easy?" Pyrrha blinked as Nora swung the large mallet into a nearby boulder, crushing it to gravel.
The next moment, Ren's charm bracelet exploded into starlight before coalescing into a pair of nunchucks.
"Jack, are you racist?" the Mistrali teen deadpanned.
"Does Faunus supremacy count?" Jack asked back. "Because in which case, yes, I am violently racist."
"There's too much pride in that tone," Ren sighed as he performed a variety of nunchaku spins, his concentration only lapsing when he realized he held Jack's undivided attention. "This proves nothing."
"Sure it doesn't," Jack hummed as Jaune slid his hand through his new bangle, decorated with a crescent moon and a lance, staring intently at the embossments before raising his hand with a dramatic flourish and proclaiming-
"Weapon ÄRM: Lunar Lance!"
His bangle exploding into starlight, a moment later it coalesced into his waiting hand, the shaft of gleaming silver as long as he was tall.
"A... A fishing pole...?" Jaune blinked incredulously at the so-called 'weapon'. The reel was in the usual place, but instead of any visible handle, the sides were decorated with the image of a small child reclining within a crescent moon, one leg dangling, the other drawn in, a fishing pole extended into the abyss. "What kind of weapon is this?!" he asked, more annoyed than angry.
"You see a fishing pole, I see a garotte wire on a stick. That also has the ability to catch food," Jack hummed aloud.
"I mean... It could be seen as a weapon against hunger," Pyrrha offered conciliatorily. "Aaand also a garotte wire on a stick."
"Everything is better on a stick~" Nora chirped happily. "Like corndogs. And kebabs. And popsicles."
"Nora..." Jaune sighed tiredly as the red-head listed off food-on-sticks.
"Do you have any ÄRM for Team RWBY?" Pyrrha asked.
"Perhaps, but I'll let them broaden their horizons a bit further before giving them any magical trinkets," Jack hummed. "They've still got a bit more baggage to unpack."
"Like that thing with your maybe-baby-mama?" Nora asked.
"Also yes," Jack admitted.
"Jack, before we resume our journey, I have one last question," Pyrrha hummed as she slid her pewter ring upon her finger.
"What is it?"
"How did you make that 'battle aura' appear?" the red-head asked curiously. "Not just the Indra, but all the smaller ones as well."
"Life finds a way~"
"Yes, because that isn't cryptic at all," Pyrrha deadpanned.
"Hah hah, come on, let's get going with our spoils," Jack hummed as he took hold of the gravity sled and returned to the beaten path.