Disclaimer: I still do not own Harry Potter.
Hello everyone, my goodness, thank you so much for all the awesome reviews. I am so glad you are enjoying the story.
As for Susan Bones, yes, we will see a lot more of her. She has a very sharp mind in this story, which is why I am having her connect so many dots. As for Zacharias, it is true that he might not have been close to Cedric in canon, but this is an AU take, after all. I am changing things around in this story.
I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations. We will see Sirius and Harry here, plus another key player in the plot.
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Minerva McGonagall felt an overwhelming fatigue as she slowly made her way to the hospital wing. It was about eight in the morning now, and she hadn't slept a wink the entire night. It had been the worst night she'd experienced in a very long time.
Guilt and shame swarmed her when she thought of the events of the past four years. In her estimation, she had been a horrible Head of House. She had vowed, when she had taken the position decades earlier, that she would take care of her students like they were her sons and daughters, that she would do all she could to protect them. And, looking back, she knew she had failed spectacularly.
When Harry had come to Hogwarts at eleven, she could tell from just one look at him that the past ten years had been rough on him. He was skinny, looked starved for affection, and his emerald eyes were duller than she'd like them to be. But after the dread of that first sighting, hope had burgeoned in her heart. With every day that passed, his eyes shone a little brighter, and his face filled with wonder as he discovered what Hogwarts and the wizarding world had to offer.
Then, at the end of the year, she had made an awful mistake. Harry had come to her, convinced that the Sorcerer's Stone was in grave danger of being stolen. Shocked and dismayed that he had found out about it as she was, she had still been under the impression that he was worried over nothing. The protections on the stone were very secure; she was positive that they could not be breached.
But, she had learned as that night drew to a close, she was severely mistaken. Harry, someone she was supposed to protect, had gone after the stone, along with Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. The events resulted in Harry lying in the hospital wing for three days, extremely close to death due to severe magical exhaustion. In fact, he had almost not made it through that first night; it was a miracle he had survived, and it was only due to the expertise of Madam Pomfrey that he had done so.
The guilt had eaten Minerva up from the inside out. She had always prided herself on being the model Gryffindor, to show her lions that they could count on her, and she had failed. She had disbelieved Harry, sending him away and discounting his story because it came from the mouth of a child. She'd thought Harry was being too dramatic, that he didn't know what he was talking about, and her dismissal of him almost resulted in his death.
After the year was over, Minerva vowed to change. If she was going to look at herself in the mirror every morning without feeling disgust swarm her, she was going to do better. She thought of her prized students, Lily and James Potter, and cringed when she pondered on what they'd say to her if they saw her now.
But, she reflected as she came nearer the hospital wing, she knew she'd failed now more than ever. Over the next three years at Hogwarts, the danger Harry was in had shown itself over and over again, and Minerva had refused to see what was in front of her eyes every single time. Harry had gone into the Chamber of Secrets to rescue Ginny, and almost didn't live through that either. Last year, the revelations regarding the true culprit of the Potters' deaths had come out. More self-disgust swelled in Minerva's stomach as she thought of the fact that she had believed, for twelve years, in Peter Pettigrew's hero status and Sirius Black's betrayal. After all, she had taught those two students for seven years, and had fought with them in the Order of the Phoenix. To put it plainly, minerva McGonagall had been a blind, gullible fool.
And this year ... when Harry's name had come out of the Goblet of Fire, she'd been frightened for him beyond anything she'd ever felt before. She had known, from the instant it had happened, that Harry had not entered himself. She was done with being a blind idiot, believing the masses who doubted him, and she had looked beyond the surface. She was appalled at the members of the student body who taunted and jeered at him in the corridors, and muttered about him beneath their breaths. Her disappointment with Ronald Weasley was palpable as she saw how he reacted to Harry's becoming champion, but it cooled when she saw him come to the realization that he was wrong in his actions, and the two became friends again. Her pride in Harry multiplied as she witnessed him withstand the constant pressure and stress he had been under.
But, as she swung the hospital wing doors open, her heart couldn't be heavier. Last night, when Harry had returned with Cedric Diggory's body, Minerva McGonagall knew what it felt like to have her heart truly break. Through everything Harry had endured, she had never seen his spirit broken before, but now was a different story. She remembered the look in Harry's eyes, the tears streaming down his face as he wept and clung to the older champion's body, refusing to release him from his grip, as if he could bring life back into him by simply holding on. As she'd watched Harry through the years, she'd never seen him weep, and got the distinct feeling he was ashamed of doing so. And she honestly thought that Harry hadn't even realized he was doing it, and now, in the light of morning, she wondered if he'd even had an inkling it had happened. She thought of her own experiences with battle and seeing Order members fall, and some of the moments in the aftermath had been such a blur, she needed other people's testimonies to recall what had transpired.
As she entered the room, she saw the curtains around Harry's bed were open, and Sirius Black was sitting in a chair by Harry's bed. Harry was seated on the bed, eating breakfast from a tray.
"Good morning, Mr. Black. Good morning, Mr. Potter," she said crisply, reverting to her professional demeanor. In times like this, she relied on that more than ever. She had to stay strong and keep her chin up, despite the turmoil and overwhelming devastation she felt inside. She had to try and keep all emotion out of her face and voice if she was going to be any help in this situation.
"Good morning," Harry said softly, exhaustion and pain showing in his voice despite his best efforts to sound otherwise.
"Minerva," said Sirius, turning to look at her for just an instant before his eyes focused on Harry again. "It is good to see you."
"Likewise," said McGonagall, looking him up and down. Guilt held her in its unrelenting grip again as she looked at the haggered man in front of her. Merlin, she had made so many mistakes. If she had truly fought for this man's honor, she would not feel partly responsible for his twelve years in Azkaban. Deep down, of course she knew she might not have been able to stop it altogether, because she remembered how desperate the wizarding world was to try to forget the war after its end. The public had been hungry for vengeance against the perpetrators, and some of the Death Eater trials that had followed had been complete farces. If you could call them trials, Minerva thought furiously, and Sirius hadn't even gotten one at all. He'd just been thrown unceremoniously in Azkaban without a second thought, never to see the light of day again.
But the truth of the matter remained that Minerva's conscience would be a lot clearer if she had at least fought for him, been in his corner when he needed her most. When the time had called for her to stand up, she had folded and gone along with the crowd. And now, Sirius had ghosts and shadows in his eyes, and he was struggling to face the demons that twelve years of hell had piled onto him.
As she looked at the way he never took his eyes off Harry, pride welled in her heart. She knew he had made his mistakes, too, but it couldn't be clearer that Harry was his top priority now. She had been in the room when Albus had given his instructions, and therefore knew that Sirius had told him firmly that no, he would not go and rally the Order, that he was not going to leave Harry's side. And needless to say, she couldn't be prouder. Knowing Albus, she was sure he would have tried to convince him in a setting when the two were alone, and if that was true, Sirius hadn't budged. He was doing the right thing by his godson.
And this was another reason that Minerva McGonagall was not at all as strong as she'd like to think she was. Over the years, she had known Albus to make some very questionable decisions, and he had been very good at persuading her to go along with him. She especially remembered the time she had voiced her disapproval of baby Harry being left on the Dursleys' doorstep in the middle of the night with only a letter to explain his appearance. She had watched that revolting family all day, and knew it was no place for Harry to grow up. But Albus, with his twinkling eyes and convincing words, had caused her to stop fighting him, and she knew now that she would forever regret that decision. She didn't think she would ever forgive herself for that.
And last night, Sirius Black had done something she had always been afraid to do. He had said a firm, resounding no to Albus Dumbledore, the most powerful wizard in the world. Sirius Black was a convict on the run, who could be discovered by the wrong person at any time, and given the Dementor's Kiss, but he didn't care. He would walk through any amount of danger for Harry, and Minerva felt an incredibly strong resolve sweep over her in that moment. From now on, she would learn to be stronger. From now on, she would keep Harry's best interests at heart.
And Minerva knew what she had to do as she conjured another chair by Harry's bed, and sat herself down in it. Sirius took his eyes off Harry again to look curiously at her, and Minerva felt her resolve grow stronger. Suddenly, it became impossible to retain her professional demeanor, even though it had only been moments ago that she had sworn to keep that in place. She truly looked at the pale, grief-stricken boy who was eating mechanically, like he wasn't even tasting the food. She opened her mouth and simply said, "I'm sorry."
Harry turned his head, his green eyes widening as he stared at her. "Professor?" he murmured, true surprise in his tone.
Minerva felt sick as she looked at his expression. This boy really had no idea what she was apologizing for, did he? He was used to not having adults be there for him, to listen to him and trust what he was saying. He didn't expect the people around him to protect him, to keep him out of danger. Albus, what have you done? she thought, horrified, and then, even louder in her mind, she added, Minerva, what have YOU done?
And then, she voiced her feelings out loud. "I am sorry for everything, Harry," she said softly, using his first name, a rare occurrence for her, and the shock only intensified in Harry's eyes. She took a deep breath and continued, "I'm sorry I have shown myself as someone who's failed to protect you. You have had an extremely difficult time of it, and we, the faculty, have failed to do what is right by you, me worst of all. I am your Head of House, and I have not done what is right. I vow to make it up to you." She moved her eyes to Sirius's face and gave him a meaningful look, including him in her promise. Sirius looked at her gratefully and gave a single nod, the corner of his mouth turning up very slightly.
"Thank you, Minerva," he said, sincerity shining in his eyes. A wistful expression stole over his face suddenly as he stared at her, and with a jolt of her heart, a sudden memory filtered through her mind. When the Marauders had landed themselves in detention during their school days, which was more often than not, Sirius used to wink at her cheekily and refer to her as Minnie, which always, without fail, earned him another detention. But secretly, when Minerva had returned to her room at night, she was very amused by it. In the light of day, she would never allow any student to show her such disrespect, but safe in her own room, she let herself laugh about it. She looked into his eyes and saw the nostalgia there, and wondered if he was recalling the same thing.
Harry's quiet voice pulled her out of her reverie. He looked at Minerva with an expression on his face that she didn't think she deserved to have directed at her. He looked stunned that she had said such a thing to him. "You haven't done anything wrong, Professor," he said. "It's okay."
Minerva saw the certainty of that belief in his eyes and knew she could not convince him that this needed to be said. It only made her more sure that she had to prove to him that she would do better.
There was another long moment of silence. Then, Harry said, "Where are the Diggorys?" From the way these words were spoken, it seemed as though it was costing him a great effort to voice them.
"No, Harry," said Sirius at once. "You are not responsible for this. Dumbledore has already told them what happened. You don't need to put yourself through this."
Minerva felt a surge of grief flood through her system. Her mind had been so consumed with thoughts of her regrets, and she had tried her hardest to confront them, but this was something that she couldn't bear to think about. Cedric Diggory had been a bright, talented student, and his future was full of promise. He was kind, loyal, helpful, and was a true leader of Hufflepuff House. He had been extremely popular, and someone many tried to emulate. His murder shook her to her core, and she would never be able to forget the look of terror forever plastered on his face. He was currently in a room not far away from this one, which was cut off from the rest of the hospital wing. She had quietly talked with the heartsick parents the night before, and said goodbye to her strong, wonderful student.
And she knew, without a shadow of doubt, that it had been because of Voldemort that he was murdered. Harry's words were like a dart shot straight through her heart; there was going to be a second war, and Cedric had been the first casualty. And she was going to fight with Harry, to stand tall in the face of adversity and do battle with the demon that was trying, once again, to destroy the world.
"Sirius," said Harry, and even though his voice shook, the look in his eyes was that of someone who knew what had to be done. "I need to talk to them. Please. Where are they?"
Minerva's mind dredged up the past again as she thought of the First War, and the similar strength of many Order members when they saw their comrades fall in battle. Many had expressed the same sentiment; after their deaths, they wished to comfort the victims' loved ones, because they felt responsible. Upon speaking to Cedric's parents, Minerva had learned that even through their sorrow, they did not blame Harry. They were incredibly grateful, and shed many tears, over the fact that Harry had risked his life to bring their son's body back to them, back home to where he belonged instead of leaving him in that awful place. Looking at the pleading, earnest expression on Harry's face, she knew she had to let him do this. The Diggorys could be instrumental in helping Harry see that Cedric's death wasn't his fault.
Unfortunately, she had also got wind of some of the rumblings and rumors circulating through the school, that Harry had murdered Cedric. And Minerva knew that was the biggest mockery of the truth. From her experience with tragedy, she was very much aware that people tried to find an easy target to blame. It was much easier to believe Harry Potter a murderer than the fact that the monster most thought dead had actually returned to life. Minerva felt sadness squeeze her heart as she thought of the trials and hardships ahead of the young, innocent boy in front of her. And she knew that Amos and Eileen Diggory knew the truth, and they would be in Harry's corner, whatever may come.
So, she faced Harry, and answered his question quietly. "They are with Cedric, in a room off the hospital wing," she said. "I can ask them if they want to talk to you."
Sirius glowered at her furiously. "Minerva, what are you doing? You can't think this is right! Hasn't he been through enough?" he snarled viciously.
Harry shook his head. "Sirius, I need to do this," he said, sincerity shining in his emerald eyes. "I have to."
Minerva got up out of her chair, knowing that the moment had arrived to talk to the Diggorys. The entire time, she heard Sirius begging Harry not to go through with this, that it would only make things worse, but Harry was having none of it. As she left the room, Minerva hoped beyond anything that this would be the first step towards Harry's recovery, and the beginning of her redemption.