Disclaimer: I still do not own Harry Potter.
Author's Note: Hey everyone, and thank you so much for all the feedback. I have several things I would like to address before I begin this chapter.
As far as the "wallowing" is concerned, I see where you're coming from even though I disagree with you. If it looks like the characters are wallowing, I don't mean to portray that; I personally think that the chapters between Harry and Sirius show them bonding and getting to know each other better. It's true that not much action happens in these chapters, but I think that there are some conversations godfather and godson needed to have, and they lay the groundwork for the bond that you will see deepening between them throughout the story. I'm honestly really surprised that in my long years of reading fanfic, I've never seen one where they have the conversation about the night they first met. I feel like that discussion needed to be had.
I don't understand the comment about Sirius screwing up, and therefore Kreacher being able to tell the enemy where Grimmauld Place is. Even in the original, Kreacher couldn't do that. And he didn't go to Narcissa Malfoy until Sirius screamed at him to "get out". He hasn't done this in this universe, and remember, he and Harry had the discussion about Kreacher several chapters back and how Harry is uncomfortable with how Sirius treats him. Let's hope that because of this, things change.
As for Susan not actually living with her Aunt Amelia in canon, you are absolutely right. That was a stupid, stupid mistake for me to make. I honestly don't know why I assumed such a thing. I guess my only excuse is that Susan is such a minor character in canon that I never really thought about her much before this story. I feel really awful that I missed such an important detail. Now that I think about it, does that mean that Susan lives with her parents and they're not actually the ones who were killed?
I have so many plans for this story when it comes to Susan and Amelia; I have so many scenes mapped out for them. Because of this, I really don't want to have to change anything. So this means I'd like to make Susan and her family situation AU. I hope this is okay with all of you. What makes me feel a little better is that there are several other AU situations in this story, not just the fact that Sirius says no to Dumbledore when he's asked to rally the old crowd. Harry being accused of murder, and the whole petition idea, obviously aren't a direct result of Sirius deciding to stay with Harry.
Also, you're right about when Fudge became Minister of Magic as well. I honestly feel that him becoming Minister earlier in my universe fits his character better. He's so obsessed with running the government through peacetime that he can't even think of trying to get through a war. Therefore, Cornelius Fudge's story is slightly AU as well.
One last thing: In regards to Sirius not surviving till the end of the story, obviously I can't tell you whether I kill him or not. But I completely understand your feelings if it turns out that I do. I love him desperately as well, he's one of my favorite characters in the HP universe. Sometimes, stories speak for themselves and I feel like I'm not the one in control of where it's going. It's an odd feeling as an author - it's like some outside source is demanding for me to write it a certain way. I'm sorry I can't make any promises about Sirius, but hear me when I say that doesn't mean he's going to die either. Take it as something purely unknown for now.
Anyway, speaking of our beloved Sirius, we're back at Grimmauld Place for this chapter. Once again, it's a godfather and godson bonding scene. Like I said before, I feel these are very important for the years ahead.
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Harry sat at the kitchen table with Sirius, both having finished their lunch of ham and cheese sandwiches. They'd both been silent and contemplative as they ate the meal, lost in their own thoughts as the morning's conversation replayed in their minds.
Harry couldn't help but feel a well of sincere gratitude towards his godfather for the things he had said. He'd tried to block out the thoughts of their first meeting throughout the past year, but now that he was in hiding with the man, those recollections could no longer be avoided. And from their discussion, it was obvious that Sirius was still haunted by that night too, at what he and Remus had almost done in front of him.
It had been a very difficult night to say the least, one filled with raw and unbridled emotion. Sirius, after twelve torturous years, had lain eyes on the man that had destroyed everything he held dear. Harry had come face-to-face with the man who glowered out at him from the newspaper. Harry had entertained notions of exactly what he would do to him if he met him in reality, and sooner than he thought possible, the time had come. He hadn't understood when Arthur Weasley had whispered urgently to him, "Don't go looking for Black." At the time, he'd looked at his best mate's father with his mouth hanging open. Did the man honestly think he was so determined to put himself in danger that he'd purposely go seeking out a mass murderer?
It was amazing to think how much things had changed since then. Sirius's words, spoken with pure and utter conviction, reminding him of how he had stopped Sirius and Remus from ending Peter that night ... they made the guilt churning in the pit of his stomach feel much less suffocating.
"You okay, kiddo?" Sirius asked, pulling Harry out of his reflections.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Harry said as he looked over at him. "Thanks for lunch."
Sirius smiled at him. "It was just a ham and cheese sandwich," he said with a laugh. "No big deal."
But it was a big deal, Harry thought as he smiled back. It wasn't about the ham and cheese sandwich itself; it was about what it meant. For the first time in his life that he could truly remember, he was being looked after and cared for. The man sitting across the table had risked so much just to keep him safe. He shuddered to think about what was going on outside of the little bubble of shelter the two had made for themselves.
Sirius must have been thinking along the same lines, because he asked tentatively, "Is there anyone you would like to contact from Hogwarts? I know we've been gone for less than a day, and if you say no, that's perfectly fine. You need time to heal, and Hogwarts can wait for as long as it takes. I'm only asking in case you'd like to write to someone."
Harry gave that some thought. Would he like to make contact with anyone? His heart ached when he remembered the tears streaming down Hermione's face, the grief and understanding on Ginny's, and the pure shock and disbelief on Ron's when Harry and Sirius had touched the Portkey to bring them here. In truth, all he'd thought about at the time was getting away from the madness his life had become. He'd pounced on the escape Sirius had given him - anything to get away from the horrors of the Third Task, the memories of the glazed, lifeless eyes of Cedric Diggory and the screams and sobs that had surrounded him when he'd returned with the older champion to Hogwarts. Anything to get away from the nightmares of Voldemort's cackles, the insults and jeers of the Death Eaters while he was being tortured and humiliated. Harry Potter had never been one who thirsted to hide away from his problems, and he felt like a coward for doing so now.
And Merlin, he felt so conflicted. He'd discovered that, even though he was away from Hogwarts and no one knew where he was, that didn't stop the memories and nightmares from coming to the surface. He'd been a fool to think he could escape that easily - life never worked like that. Now that he'd gotten a chance to catch his breath, the guilt he felt for leaving his friends and the rest of the school to deal with the aftermath of Cedric's murder seized him. He realized that Ron, Hermione, and Ginny deserved an explanation, even if no one else did.
"Harry." The boy felt his godfather's hand on his shoulder, and realized that Sirius had come around the table and was standing beside him now. "I'm sorry, pup. I spoke too soon. I should have known how you would react to that question."
"What do you mean?" Harry asked in bewilderment.
"Harry, you have a guilt complex like no one I've ever seen," Sirius said, looking at his godson with clear sadness. "Why do you constantly feel like everything is your responsibility?"
"What do you mean?" Harry asked again.
"I mean that for once in your life, Harry, you need to focus on your own health," Sirius said firmly. "When you feel it's time to contact your friends, you need to do it on your terms, not theirs. You owe no one anything, Harry. Do you hear me?" He looked directly into Harry's green eyes and said, in a voice so strong that no one could mistake the truth in it, "You are not a coward, Harry, and I won't hear of you ever thinking such things." He gently ruffled Harry's hair. "And I swear to Merlin, I will spend the rest of my life trying to take the word guilt out of your vocabulary."
Harry felt overwhelmed once again by the man looking at him with such strength and love. How many times had he fantasized about this as he'd lain in his cupboard under the stairs? How many times had he imagined a secret relative taking him away from the life he lived? How would it feel to actually be wanted?
And looking into the eyes of his godfather now, he knew. It felt like nothing he'd ever experienced before. To be told that his feelings mattered, that his own health mattered, that HE mattered ... no, he couldn't ever forget what Ron and Hermione's friendship meant to him. But there was something so powerful, so extraordinary about this. There was an adult in his life who truly loved him.
"Thank you," he said sincerely, and then he voiced what he knew in his heart to be true. "I ... I'm not ready to contact anyone yet."
Sirius nodded. "No, you aren't, Prongslet," he agreed. "And I want you to know that there's no time constraint on this. Whether you want to wait for another few days, a week, a month ... it doesn't matter to me."
"It won't be a month," Harry said. That, at least, he could promise.
"Knowing you, Harry, I expect it won't," Sirius agreed. "But if that changed, I assure you that it would make no difference to me."
"Thanks." Harry smiled, feeling a sense of belonging that made his heart feel much lighter. He reached out, putting his arm around Sirius. He'd found that it was normally his godfather who initiated the hugs; Harry felt rather uncomfortable being the one to reach out himself. But something felt new this time; the feeling of discomfort was much less noticeable. And the smile he received from Sirius in return showed him that he wasn't going to be pushed away.
Minutes later, the two headed towards the drawing room. Harry was unsure of what he was going to do now - maybe he'd try and get some studying done. Hogwarts seemed like a faraway concept at the moment, but Harry knew he needed to keep up with his magical education; it couldn't be neglected.
Figuring this was the right course of action, he made himself comfortable on the sofa after retrieving several books from his trunk. Sirius sat beside him, an old book of his own clutched in his hand.
And for the rest of the afternoon, neither spoke, but they didn't need to. They were simply comfortable in each other's presence, content in the knowledge that right now, they were both safe and sound - and they were right where they belonged.