I shifted back and forth in my heels. James sighed and grabbed my hand.
"You'll be fine," he said, more instructing than reassuring. "You look great and they're going to love you. Believe me, compared to any others they think I've dated, the fact that you can string together two sentences is an accomplishment. They'll think we're about to be engaged or something."
"I know, I'm just a little-" I paused, his words hitting me. "What? Exactly how serious do they think we are?"
He winced at my tone, which had gotten a bit shrill at the end of that question. "I mean, you've read the papers, yeah? You can't seriously think everyone I was pictured with was someone I considered a life partner- oh, I forgot, you don't know anything about me. Because Jayne MacPherson is so above celebrity culture unlike the rest of us mere wizards."
"Sorry I'm not keeping up with the apparent hoards of women you're surrounded with. Maybe you should've picked one of them to go along with this charade." I snapped back. "I should be impressed you even know my last name before introducing me to your family. As your very serious girlfriend. Merlin."
"Don't forget we're not actually dating," he said nastily.
"As if you'd let me. The mighty James Sirius Potter, in a freakish oedipal complex, only deigns to date forgettable redheads whose outfits only cover a third of their torsos at any given moment in time. Not even considering what that would do for your future children if your partner is too genetically similar to yourself and your family," I huffed, turning defensive when I caught his mouth twitch almost into a smile. "What?"
"Nothing," he said, shaking his head. "My Aunt Hermione's going to love you."
I sighed and smoothed out the front of my dress, the tension between us having dissipated as soon as it started. Jules had done my hair and makeup to Kit's instructions so I knew I was presentable enough on that front.
He held his hand out, eyebrow raised. I grabbed it, squeezing tightly.
"If you're done with your little freak out?"
"Yes, yes, let's get on with it."
At the very least, this would be a distraction from the fact that I was about to be degree-less.
My introduction to the Potters (not including when they had first seen me making out with their son in broad daylight) was not off to a smooth start.
The Floo James and I took to his parents' house shot me out in a cloud of ash and smoke onto their carpet, where I hacked up a lung. Several pairs of shoes surrounded me.
I looked up to see Lily Potter stifle a laugh with her uncle Ron Weasley elbowing her. Albus and Rose Weasley had matching skeptical expressions. Hugo Weasley couldn't have cared less. Hermione Granger-Weasley had a wrinkle in her forehead as she tried to comprehend the mess that I was in front of her. And the Savior of the Wizarding World, wearing some sensible indoor slippers, and Ginny Potter simply stared down at me with bemused looks.
"Mr. and Mrs. Potter-hi-" I wheezed out. "So sorry- the rug-"
A strong hand wrapped around my arm and pulled me up, steadying me around the waist.
"You ok?" James asked me lowly, brushing off my arms. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. Grasping me firmly by the shoulders, he spun me around, keeping me close to him. "Mum, Dad, this is Jayne."
"It's so nice to meet you." I smiled weakly and extended a hand. Shockingly, it was Harry Potter who broke the silence and made me feel most at ease.
"Jayne." Harry Potter recovered first (makes sense, he'd probably seen some crazier things than a frazzled girlfriend meeting the parents for the first time) and grasped my hand. "Nice to meet you. Just call me Harry."
James caught my eye and gave a reassuring squeeze of my shoulder. I let out a breath, knowing there was no way I would ever be calling this man 'Harry.'
"Let's all take a seat," Ginny Potter offered. "The rest of the family should be showing up soon."
I threw James a panicked look. The rest of his family? How many more of them were there? He sent me back a helpless shrug.
"So, Jayne, what do you do?" Ron Weasley asked with a smirk. Hermione Granger-Weasley elbowed him in the side as they settled into the couch and he winced.
"I'm a PhD student at Oxford right now." For now, I thought glumly.
Hugo snorted. "No, really."
"I'm studying Ancient Runes." I eyed them oddly. What was so unusual about me still being a student? Did they think that because I didn't have a job that I was a gold digger?
"Gregory Anderson is one of the best in that field in Europe." Hermione blinked.
"Yes, he's my thesis advisor."
"Really?" She leaned forward. "What exactly is your research on? I always wanted to study more Ancient Runes, but didn't have the time. It's such an interesting field." Her husband and son exchanged eye rolls behind her back.
I smiled in relief. Now this I could do.
James's aunt certainly lived up to her reputation. Though I started explaining the basic level of my research that any lay wizard could understand, her questions dug deep into the heart of the theories behind my research on curse breaking.
"Fascinating," she breathed out. "Where's Bill? This would be so useful in his job."
"It's been a while since I've had such an attentive audience member." I beamed. "I normally have to tap out before we get to any of the Arithmancy."
"But that's the best part," Hermione said in confusion.
"I agree," I sighed woefully.
"Guess we won't ask James anything about your research," Hugo muttered.
"He followed along quite well. He made a rather insightful analogy to a certain Romanian love potion that really helped me tie together how they use certain magic-building skills in all aspects of their casting."
"James did?" Albus, who I hadn't realized had joined, interjected skeptically.
"Yes. I actually added it to the introduction of my thesis."
Albus's expression conveyed exactly what he thought of the quality of my thesis.
James scowled at him, moving his hand from where it rested on my knee to wrap around my shoulders.
"Dinner is ready," Ginny announced, peeking her head into the living room.
"I'll show Jayne to the bathroom." James grabbed my hand and walked me upstairs, too quickly for me to take in the family photos lining the wall up the stairs. I figured he wanted a moment to talk, but I wasn't expecting him to go into the bathroom after me and lock the door.
"You were perfect." I tried not to be too awkward under the weight of his blinding grin, but honestly there was a reason he was named one of Witch Weekly's Hottest Bachelors pretty consistently. "Might've overdone it on the bit about putting me in your thesis but nice one."
"What do you mean? I did put that in my intro."
"What?" He blinked.
"That thing you said about the potions was actually really helpful. My advisor said it was 'artfully done.' I have you credited in my footnote but I can take it out if you don't want it." I trailed off uncertainly as his confused expression didn't change.
"I-no, that's-that's great." He shook his head and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, kissing me on the side of my head. "That's great," he repeated. "Thanks. Seriously."
"Oh," I said absently. He had kissed me fully before; my heart shouldn't have lurched quite so much at a simple brush at my temple.
"My family isn't freaking you out that much, are they?" He laughed uncomfortably, scratching the back of his head. "You're just kind of…off."
"No, I'm fine," I reassured him. James was unconvinced, ducking his head down right by mine so that his dark brown eyes were right in front of me. I fought the urge to step back.
"Did my Aunt Hermione say something to you? Because I can tell her-"
"What? No, she's been great. It's nothing."
"Jayne, just tell me." He stared me down.
"It's nothing. It's a school thing."
His frown deepened. I sighed.
"Funding has been cut," I said quietly. "We're-well, we're not sure if the program has enough for us to continue."
"So it's just a money thing?" He rolled his eyes. "Honestly, MacPherson, don't worry about it. Just try to get your head in the game for dinner, because my grandmother is going to grill you."
And there he was, the douchey James Potter from the tabloids. Just when he was about to convince me otherwise. "I've spent three years working on this and still have another three to finish my research; I can't just 'not worry about it.' Sorry we're not all made of money."
"Wait, Jayne-"
I threw open the bathroom door and stormed downstairs past a surprised Lily and Dominique who were unsubtly trying to listen at the door.
"How can I help with dinner?" I plastered on a smile. He wanted a girlfriend his family would like? By the end of it, I'd have them begging to have me stay.
That sentiment was short lived as I was seated across from Albus and Rose, the two most suspicious of James's relatives. James, who was hovering by his grandmother at the head of the table, kept sending concerned looks that I steadfastly ignored.
"So, Jayne, you're getting a PhD."
"Yes." I smiled at Rose.
"Hm. I thought about getting one but I realized it would be rather pointless. There's so much more experience to get from working in the field."
Albus nodded, spearing a brussel sprout on his fork. "School was fun and everything, but I really think I just needed more of a challenge. But it's good if you want to stay in your safe zone, I guess."
I wasn't normally a crier but I also wasn't normally on the verge of being kicked out of my program, nor did I make a habit of pretending to be a client's girlfriend in front of his wildly famous family who happened to include some pretentious old classmates.
"I-well, I-" I stuttered, feeling tears prick behind my eyes before I was mercifully saved by the door slamming open.
"Hellllooooo," a voice called out from the front hall. "I come bearing gifts."
Louis Weasley stepped out into the dining room dangling an open bottle of wine preciously in one hand and a plastic bag of cookies in the other.
"Here you go, Aunt Gin. Took the liberty of tasting it to make sure it was up to everyone's standards." He presented the bottle to her with a flourish.
She took it, shaking it dubiously. The liquid inside sloshed, the bottle sounding half empty. "Thanks, Louis. Shocker to see you actually come to one of our family dinners."
"I missed you all, of course. Berlin was terribly boring," he said airily. His gaze landed on me and sharpened, at odds with his otherwise laid-back demeanor. "Jayne MacPherson. Long time, no see. Come help me in the kitchen with dessert. Catch up for old times' sake, eh?"
Everyone's heads swung toward me. James's eyebrows were raised. Ginny Potter looked between us, somehow more worried that I knew Louis than when she thought I was a complete stranger to the family. "You two know each other?"
"Know each other? Jayne's the whole reason I passed sixth year Charms. And now she'll be the reason the plating of these cookies will be spectacular." He shook the cookies in my direction and jerked his head towards the kitchen.
I hadn't seen Louis since graduation several years ago. I had no idea how he felt about me "dating" his cousin, but right now, I would follow Voldemort into that kitchen to get away from Albus and Rose.
"Plating's not really one of my strong suits," I tossed out hastily as I left so they didn't have high expectations.
The door to the kitchen swung closed behind us and Louis leaned against the counter to look me up and down.
"Well, well, well." Louis grinned at me. "I have to say when I was told James finally had a serious girlfriend, I didn't expect it to be someone I knew. Especially not-"
"Someone like me, I know," I finished.
"Someone who I thought would never go for him," he corrected gently. "How exactly did this happen?"
A question I'd been asking myself every day for the past few weeks.
I sighed. "Well, I can't totally explain how I met him or am spending time with him-"
"Annika's NDA's?" He nodded. "You'll get some nasty warts if you actually share the information with people."
"Oh my god, what?" I apparently hadn't read the contract as thoroughly as I should have. What if my friends figuring it out (mostly) on their own triggered it?
"Only if you share with any bad intent, like if you go to the press." He breezed past this information much faster than I liked. "So, get to it."
"We're…not dating," I whispered.
"Hm." Louis wasn't exactly stunned by this revelation. At my glare, he simply shrugged. "James doesn't really seriously date people, and when he does, they're ginger idiots. So yeah, he might've finally had a come-to-Merlin moment with his accident and decided to settle down with someone who's good for him, but I don't have that much faith in my cousin." He paused and narrowed his eyes at me. "Though he does seem to actually like you. I don't think he's that good of an actor. And he was rather defensive over you with some of the family last night from what I heard."
"I think I amuse him. We have actually spent some time together, you know. So when we were caught in that photo, it just kind of spiraled from there and I just didn't really know how to get out of it."
Read: I didn't know how to say no to James Potter when he was nice. Dickish James Potter I could handle easily enough.
"I see you still haven't figured out how to talk to boys." Painfully on the nose.
"I see you still haven't figured out how to properly brush your hair," I retorted.
"Hey, this is a style choice. The ladies love it." He winked. His disheveled hair did give him a rather rogue-ish look.
"Louis!" Ginny's voice came from the dining room. "Bring Jayne back already!"
We looked down at the cookies which were mostly broken up already.
"Surely you didn't make these."
"I think they're left over from when Vic had that baking phase a month ago."
We exchanged grimaces. "Alright," Louis sighed, placing a hand on my waist to steer me out. "Back to the wolves we go."
James appeared to be arguing with Albus and Rose, having taken his seat next to mine.
"What's the problem?" Rose blinked in confusion. "We were just saying that we were interested in what she was doing."
"You know that's not what you were doing." James was tense with frustration. The rest of the family continued on with their separate conversations but kept an eye on the three of them. "And don't try to say it's easy. Albus, you'd never be patient enough to finish that degree, and Rose, you'd argue back with the professor way too much. Neither of you could ever do what she's doing."
"Easy for you to say when you didn't even finish Hogwarts," Albus muttered.
James was about to snap back, but looked up at me as I placed a hand on his shoulder. If his family didn't think I was into him before, they certainly would now since I was fairly sure I had hearts in my eyes as I beamed down at him.
"Seriously, this is a joke, right?" Hugo snorted.
"Not a very good one." George Weasley nodded seriously, before throwing me a wink. "As if any of us could believe James would be able to land an Oxford girl."
"Well, get used to her because she's staying," James snapped, grabbing my hand tightly.
For approximately another 2 months and 3 weeks before his NEWTs, I counted mentally.
"Jayne, be honest." Roxanne, Fred's sister, leaned over the table and whispered to me loudly. "Has he asked you to dye your hair or anything?"
"I do not have some sort of fetish-" James started indignantly.
"Please. Remember when everyone started to figure out your redhead thing back at Hogwarts and half the girls dyed their hair red?"
I did in fact remember that phase as we had to take Jules to the hospital wing after she cast a botched Transfiguration spell on her hair.
"I love her hair the way it is," James stated with such finality that everyone backed off.
Louis sent me a cheerful wink.
We Floo'd back to James's place and immediately collapsed on his couch. James broke the silence after a few moments.
"So. You might be a better girlfriend than a tutor. That's what I really should have hired you for." He sent me a weak smile that I didn't return.
"I should get going." I stood up and headed to his Floo.
"Wait, Jayne-"
I ignored him and Floo'd to my apartment, ready to have a good cry about my apparently very solvable funding problem, his rude family, and life in general.
A/N: I am ... not proud of this one, it's just an unwieldy amount of word vomit but it needed to get out there so we can move along with the story so here it is. Happy holidays!