Four nights into Judith's teething phase and Beth was dead on her feet. She'd finally given in and agreed to let Carol take over for her for the night so she could get more than a few hours of sleep, and she was more than ready to cash in on it.
And that is exactly what she'd be doing as soon as she washed off the stench of baby vomit, formula, and sweat from the last few days.
After dropping the baby girl off with the older woman, she all but sprinted to her cell to grab a new change of clothes and her towel. On her way through the cell block she yelled into Maggie and Glenn's cell to tell her sister where she was going. She'd learned the hard way about poking her head through the sheet, and she was never going to make that mistake again.
At this time of day most of the people living in the prison were usually turning in for the night or headed out to watch, so she was especially startled when she ran into someone walking through the tombs. She screamed and scrambled, dropping the clothes in her hands and reaching for the knife at her side ready to fight off the walker that had got into this part of the prison. She threw her arm up ready to swing down on the head of the creature when it grabbed her wrist to stop her. "Jesus Christ, Greene. It's me."
Her eyes widened as they adjusted to the darkness and she dropped her arm, his grip going with it. "Oh my god Daryl, I'm so–"
"It's fine. Least you didn't just stand there." His hair was half in his eyes and he was chewing on his lip, but he thankfully didn't seem the least bit mad. "Should always keep on hand free though, just in case," dipping his head to the ground and the clothes she'd dropped.
She nodded her head. "Yeah I–thanks."
He bowed his head once more and moved around her to head back towards the cell block as she picked up her items. When he was a few feet away he turned back over his shoulder to warn her. "Glenn 'n Maggie are in the showers. I wouldn't go in there if I were you."
She groaned audibly and deflated. So much for a relaxing shower before bed.
Now"Jude, why don'tcha go get some breakfast?" The three of them had been standing motionless for who knows how long before he suggested it. Well, the pair of them had; the young girl flipped her gaze between the two of them so often she was sure to have a crick in her neck later.
Judith tore her glance away from the blonde and looked at her uncle pleadingly. "But–" He briefly took his eyes away from the other blue set in the room to give her a look, and a silent conversation crossed between them. The girl's shoulders fell as she gave in. "Uh, ok. See you later," she said to them both.
Beth followed the girl out the door with her eyes before she turned back to the man that was already looking at her. Minutes went by as neither of them spoke, neither of them wanting to be the first. However there was only so much silence and staring she could take before she gave in. "I was going to take a bath," she said, pointing at the half-full tub.
Instead of following her hand he kept his eyes on her and gave her a quick once-over. "It can wait." He frowned. "Twenty minutes in the tub ain't going to put a dent in ten years."
She was taken aback by the forward statement. She didn't expect it out of him, even though she should have. They'd moved far past handling each other with safety goggles and gloves last night, going straight for overkill. So she really shouldn't have been as surprised as she was. Maybe it was because his tone was so much more open, rather than the nervous and then fury-ridden ones from yesterday. "Ok," she breathed out, stepping away from the tub. "What'd he tell you?"
He stood still for a moment before taking a few steps into the room in order to close the door behind him and lean against it. She wasn't sure how she felt about that but she guessed it meant she wasn't leaving until he decided the conversation was over. "A whole lot." So everything, probably, and he'd come looking for her for answers. Not a bad sign, really. "Told me about your army, and your Council, and your Republic, Told me how you 'rescue' people but then you don't let them leave–"
"He tell you why?" she cut in, trying not to sound too defensive as she crossed her arms over her chest. He'd blamed himself so much for what happened to her father and their home before, she thought that if anyone could understand her reasoning it'd be him.
He paused and looked over her stance before answering. " Yeah," he said, dropping his eyes to his shoes as memories of the day they lost the prison swam to the surface. "And you're not wrong," he admitted, shocking her. "But it don't mean it's right."
He didn't seem to be accusing her of anything, not yet anyway. "No, I guess not." She studied him as he did the same to her. "Don't think I would've done anything different though. Got me to where I needed to be."
"Where's that?" he asked as she tilted her head at him in question. "You ain't where you were. You're 3,000 miles from whatever it was that kept you from going less than 200 for your family." He finally started to gain that edge in his voice that signified he wanted to challenge her, and her head dropped to avoid having to look at him.
It took her a second to realize. Rick hadn't told him everything.
She must have said something under her breath because he stepped closer and asked, "What was that?"
Beth looked up to see Daryl standing right in front of her, close enough that she could wrap her arms around him if she wanted to. The second their eyes met she knew that she wouldn't be able to not tell him at this moment. His gaze only held curiosity and concern, any animosity from his last words gone. She scanned his face once more and bit her lip, tightening her left hand into a fist. The slight motion was enough to draw his attention to it, and his eyes followed as she brought the offending limb up between them.
She held her breath as she used her other hand to drag her sleeve up and expose the marred flesh of the walker bite.
Neither of them moved as Daryl blinked rapidly as if he wasn't seeing things correctly. He sharply sucked in a breath and held it for what felt like forever as he took a step back. His eyes were a mess of shock and confusion when they lifted to meet her worried ones. After what felt like eternity he breathed out. "When'd it happen?"
She swallowed and released her own breath. "The night they took me," she informed him. "Covered it with that cast before I woke up. I didn't know until I cut the thing off, months later."
His hand went to his mouth and he started to bite at his thumb nail as his thoughts fired off in a thousand different directions. The movement was so Daryl that she had to stop herself from smiling during the serious moment. She waited for him to decide what to ask as his gaze traded off between her face and the scar. "Your community. They're working on a cure?" He swallowed. "Using you?"
Beth nodded. "We've got scientists working on it, trying to figure something out using my antibodies." She rolled the sleeve of her sweater back down so that neither of them had to keep looking at it. "They haven't figured anything out yet," she admitted.
"Not going to do much with you not there," he pointed out.
She finally let one side of her mouth quirk up. "No, they're not." She waited for him to comment further but when he didn't they just continued their staring contest. Instead of unsettling her the way it normally would, she felt comfortable standing there with him. She attempted to identify the deeper feeling but the only thing she could come up with was home. "What'd you mean when you first saw me in the woods? You thought you were dreaming?" His eyes lightened as she brought up his past words and he dropped his hand away from his face. "You dream about me Daryl?"
He took a moment to think about it before he responded. "Not so much anymore. But I did a lot, before." She thought he was going to leave it there, but he surprised her by continuing. "When you was gone, I'd dream that it never happened. That we were still there in that house, caught that fuckin' dog." She couldn't help but smile at that, the memory of him in that old funeral home some of the only happy ones she still held onto. "Dream about hearing you, calling out for me to help you but you were always outta reach." Her face fell at that admission and the good feeling she'd just had fell away. "Then after…tried stopping it. Got stuck reliving it over and over again." She made a step towards him and opened her mouth to say something to comfort him but he continued on. " I dreamt of you pounding on the hood of that trunk we put you in—"
"I didn't do that. It hurt too much to move," she said honestly and without thought. She meant to put him at ease but it had the opposite effect.
She watched as if the words physically struck him. His face went slack, eyes wide as he took a half step back. He ducked his face behind his long hair as his face started to scrunch up and made to turn his back to her so she couldn't see.
They'd been here before, but this time she'd been the one to cause him pain and the thought sunk her heart to her feet. Beth grabbed his arm to stop him from turning completely, molding herself against him and wrapping his arms around his middle. He did hesitate now that she was in reach and squeezed her to him, dropping his head to her shoulder and tucking his face into her neck.
He was crushing her but she didn't care. Rather than hearing his sobs, she felt them as his body heaved with each gasp and shook the both of them. His breath was hot against her skin and she moved one hand from his back to hold his neck. She clutched at him as he burrowed in closer, and she felt tears roll down her own face; she hadn't even realized she'd started crying. They swayed together as they held onto each other like a life line until Beth tried talking to him. "It's not your fault, Daryl, it's not…"
He moved to put some distance between them and reached a hand up to swipe at his face. "You're a real bitch, you know that?" He shook his head. "Shit you said yesterday…"
She nodded as she looked at him sadly. "It's no excuse but—I take one look at you and I'm back to being a 19 year old tired of mud snakes and living in the dirt. Except now I'm angry about so many other things, and I–"
"We ain't who we used to be," he interrupted, frowning at her. "But I know what you mean."
Beth wiped at an errant tear as she nodded. "No, we're not. You're exactly who I knew you could be and I'm…" She waved a hand in the air at nothing as she looked away from him. "I think I–" She took a deep breath before nervously confessing, "I've made a lot of mistakes, Daryl."
"I would've done whatever you needed."
She gave him a watery smile. "I know. That's what scared me." She made sure their eyes were locked on each other when she told him, "You couldn't be this if you'd had to do that ."
"Do what? Help you?" he questioned. "We've all done shit to get this far, Beth. There ain't nothin' you could've done–"
"I knew about Negan."
He froze and blinked at her. "What do you–"
She shook her head before she turned and took a few steps away from him. She couldn't look at him when she told him. "We'd heard stories, knew about his operation. What he did to people," she swallowed. "I knew where you were, how close–" She looked back at him, guilty, seeing that he'd started playing with the hair on his chin and was looking at her intently. "They decided we weren't going to interfere and I–did nothing."
He squinted at her and took his time before asking. "Who's 'they'?"
It wasn't the question she thought he'd ask. "I–HIgh Command. They were in charge before, they're not anymore," she told him. "But it doesn't matter–"
"It does matter." She looked at him, startled. "What were you going to do?" he asked. "Rick told me how it was there. Following orders the only option…what could you have done?"
She couldn't believe she was hearing this from him. "I could've something! Instead I just–" She shook her head again and looked at her shoes. "Glenn's dead because of me."
Her blood pounded in her ears as she thought of her brother-in-law, and realized, not for the first time, that she couldn't remember his face or his voice anymore. But his heart was there, and that's how she knew she'd made a huge mistake with her inaction.
Beth hadn't heard him come in close and jumped when she felt Daryl's fingertips on her chin. She raised her head to meet his gaze only a few breaths away. "I'm going to tell you the same thing Maggie told me: It's not your fault." Tears filled her eyes and she sucked in a breath at his roundabout forgiveness. "Only person to blame for Glenn being gone is Negan."
"Ok," she whispered. She didn't quite believe him but she still felt something lift off her chest when he said it. She sniffed and wiped at her eyes, nodding at him. His eyes roamed over her face one last time before he stepped back and ran a hand over his face, letting out a large sigh. "Haven't cried this much in years."
She huffed and gave him a small smile. "Tell me about it." Daryl returned with a lift of his lips, as the two of them stood unsure of where to go next.
A full minute went by while they each waited for the other to say something else. They both looked absolutely wreck with red-rimmed eyes and puffy cheeks, and she was covered with days' worth of grime but it didn't matter. She could stand there and keep staring at him all day if he'd let her, and it seemed like he felt the same way about her.
They both jumped when a knock sounded at the door. Daryl didn't hesitate to spin around and turn the knob, opening it a crack to see Isabelle standing there. She didn't seem surprised to see both Beth and Daryl in the small room, and smiled at them both. "Sorry, I need to steal Daryl away for awhile," she said to her fellow blonde, before facing him. "There's news from Paris."
She couldn't see his reaction to the words but responded for them both. "It's fine, I gotta wash up anyway," she said pointing towards the tub she'd filled and forgotten about.
He glanced over his shoulder back at her, and she nodded at him. Daryl repeated the motion back to her and smirked. "Yeah, you stink Greene." She smiled widely at him as he walked out, closing the door behind him.
As soon as he was out of sight, Beth sighed heavily and deflated.