TW: Talk of self-harm (canon event)

Chapter Text Before

She knew that when they'd brought that kid, Randall, back a second time that something worse than the already bad was going to happen.

Patricia shuffled her off, asking her to watch over Carl while the adults talked in the living room about what to do with the stranger who knew too much. She got the feeling that Carl was actually supposed to be watching her, though.

There was a wall and a closed door separating them, but she could still hear most of what was being said. The group from the highway yelled half the time anyway. They'd been going at it for hours, talking in circles and getting nowhere. She was surprised that her daddy didn't speak up more against killing the boy, and she wondered about the type of world that would make her righteous father lose this particular principle. Probably the same type that had caused her to run glass over her skin the day before.

She looked over at Carl, who had his ear pressed against the door, not even trying to hide his eavesdropping. At least she hadn't stooped to that level.

Beth decided that she was tired of all the arguing and being cooped up in the house, so she walked over to the window facing the front porch and opened it. The breeze of fresh air hit her face and she felt more relaxed than she had since they opened the barn and destroyed all her hopes for her former life. It was a perfect night, the darkness contrasting with the light of the moon and stars, lightning bugs blinking in the fields as crickets chirped their midnight songs. She had all but one leg out the window, ready to spend some time sitting her her grandfather's rocking chair in the calm night air when the screen door snapped open and she froze in place.

To her dismay, the archer never missed anything and looked over to her half hanging out the window with a bored look on his face. He didn't offer her any assistance, just took a few more steps to get out of the doorway before reaching into his pocket for a cigarette and a lighter, and looked out at the dark. She didn't know him at all really, but she could tell from the way he stood stiffly as he lit up and exhaled that something was bothering him. The smoke tickled her nose and left a bad taste in her mouth as she tried to gracefully get her remaining leg outside so she could stand normally.

"You supposed to be out here?"

The grain of his voice startled her; she'd heard it before, of course, but she was certain it had never been directed at her. She took it as an invitation despite the fact that he was still facing away from her, and took a few steps in his direction so that she was standing just to the right and behind him. "I didn't realize you were my keeper too," she said with sass only a teenage girl could pull off.

He huffed out a small puff of air and turned his head to look at her, jerking his chin towards her bandaged wrist. "Somebody's gotta be, apparently."

She dropped her eyes and pulled her sleeve down over her hand as he took another drag of his cigarette. And another, and another while they just stood there in silence looking out into the night. Beth was sure she was about to tell her to get lost, go back inside so he could finish up without her annoying presence standing too near. She worked herself up into snapping back at him when he did say it, even talked herself into going first when she looked over at him to open her mouth before halting once she noticed the state of his hand.

It looked like he'd gotten in a fight, the flesh bruised and cut as if he'd hit something over and over. Then she remembered something she heard earlier through the door. Had a little chat.

All thoughts of snapping at him left her as she swallowed and took a risk. Maybe he'd look at her like she was growing a second head but at least she would've tried. "I stopped." He exhaled away from her and then turned to look at her with his brows furrowed. "After the first cut. I stopped." She looked down at her covered wrist. "I changed my mind. That's got to count for something," she said looking back up at him.

She was surprised when he didn't turn away, didn't walk off and call her some dumb kid. "Yeah," he nodded. "It does." He made his exit then, taking the few steps off the porch towards the camp he'd made for himself away from the others. He was just this side of benign swallowed by the dark of the night when he shouted over his shoulder for her to go back inside. She rolled her eyes.

Now

Her arm is struck upwards just as she fires, the shot going higher than she intended and missing her target completely. Beth whipped around to face Daryl with a sneer. "What the fuck Daryl?"

He took half a step back as Rick came around the corner of the truck with his gun drawn, ready to take on whoever his people were firing at. "The hell was that? You going to shoot somebody unarmed?"

"HE SHOT ME FIRST!"

Her harsh shout halted everyone's movements as the man in question twisted his face in a grimace. Beth kept her face on the archer, refusing to look at the man from Grady, as Rick and Daryl's gazes flickered between her and the doctor. Finally Rick addressed him. "You're a doctor, right?" Stephen Edwards jumped in his skin once he realized he was being spoken to, and nodded. "Right," he confirmed. "Daryl, take him over to look at Pierre, looks like he's injured."

Beth's glare cut to the former sheriff while Daryl's moved to him slower and more calculated. The brothers had a silent argument with their eyes before Daryl dipped his head in compliance. He turned his face to the doctor and jerked his head "C'mon, and don't be stupid."

If looks could kill, the side of Rick's head would have two blue-eyed shaped holes in the side of it from the angle of her height. He turned to face her and pointedly ignored the fury in her gaze. "Explain."

She grit her teeth and exhaled loudly, trying to calm herself enough to speak. She knew they wouldn't get anywhere by throwing raw emotion in his face. "I found out after I left Grady," she told him. "The other ward who left with me, Percy, told me. Dawn never fired her gun that day. It was Edwards. And Shepherd confirmed it once she got to the Republic."

He let the explanation sink in slowly, trying to replay that day a decade ago replay in his mind. It all happened so fast; it could be possible. "They say why he did it?"

Beth shook her head at him out of frustration more than in denial as she lifted up her arm. "This goddamn bite. He didn't want to lose 'the research'," she scoffed. "Even my dead body was worth more than letting me walk out with y'all. It's why he insisted they go get me out of that trunk."

Rick's eyes dropped before flicking back to hers. "You never went after him? After you found out" It didn't seem like she was the type to let go of a grudge.

She clicked her tongue and tilted her head, before sighing. "There was too much going on. Okafor convinced me not to because there were more important things. And then when Grady fell, they said they saw him go down." She turned her head towards the direction the man in question walked off in. "He's supposed to be dead."

Rick couldn't help the slight quirk of his lips. "Seems to be a recurring theme…"

"Oh shut up," she snapped without malice, facing back towards. He was teasing her just like he would've had this been years ago in the prison yard. She could feel his eyes rake over her stiff form as he considered her, his grin falling when she spoke in a way not reminiscent of the past. "You're not going to let me kill him, are you?"

He must be getting used to the new her, because he barely even reacts, just looks at her evenly. "Is that really what you want?"

Beth blinked at him. "If anyone deserves it, it's him."

Rick nodded his head at her in acknowledgement but not agreement. "That's not what I asked." He watched as her demeanor changed from somewhat open to the closed-off Councilor he met a year ago. "You're going to be responsible for it? Is that who you are now?"

"I don't know why you're so surprised," she said, rolling her eyes. "You've seen me kill before. No matter how many times I tell you, or show you who I am now, you just don't believe me."

He huffed out a breath. "I guess have a hard time reconciling Hershel's little girl with…this," he said, sweeping his good hand in the air in front of her.

She flinched at the use of her father's name, and used the unease she felt to snap at him. "Get used to it Rick. I'm not who I used to be."

"No," he said, shaking his head. "You're not. But I think the real you is still there somewhere. Might've just lost her for a while." She stayed silent and refused to look at him again as he struck a nerve. He left her simmer for a moment before he decided to move on. She'd already made up her mind for the time being and he didn't want to push her to a point they couldn't get back from. "We need some information out of him first, at least," he said. "How he got here, who he's working with. What he knows about Genet and her experiments.

Beth still wouldn't look at him, but at least she didn't freeze up completely. "I don't disagree."

Rick nodded. "Good. Let's load up and get out of here. Decide if we're going back to The Nest or finding somewhere for the night." He looked her up and down one last time before moving to the area she'd last seen the wounded man.

She took a few beats before following, knowing that the faster they got on with this the faster she could move past it all. She'd barely come into view of the group that had gathered when Daryl looked up at her approach. He'd been standing guard while the doctor examined the man apparently named Pierre, and his eyes followed her as she ignored the whole scene and walked towards one of the felled radicals to pick his pockets. Beth was able to grab a handful of loose bullets and a wrapped piece of cheese before footsteps sounded behind her. "What'd Rick ask you?"

She stood slowly before looking at him. "If I was still going to kill him," she said, jerking her head in the general direction of Edwards.

"Are you?" he asked without any hint of accusation. She really appreciated it, but still fixed him with a look that told him she wasn't about to have that conversation twice in one day. "He shot you? At the hospital?" he asked for clarification.

Beth nodded and watched as a tiny seed of guilt leaked onto his face. Like he needed to feel sorry for taking out someone who was far from innocent. "Don't beat yourself up over it, she needed killing too," she said honestly. Neither of them said anything else as he started to chew on his lip and she fidgeted with the sleeve of her shirt. It was the closest they'd gotten to an awkward silence, having previously either screamed or cried at each other in recent days. But she realized while standing there that she'd rather be awkward with him than confident surrounded by crowds.

The realization physically startled her and it was the movement that got both of them out of the bubble they'd created. "Don't think we should go back tonight," he said gruffly. "Find some place to hole up for the night, get some info out of him." She simply nodded and he gave her one last look before going back to the others, leaving her to scavenge.

She continued for long enough to fill her pockets and both arms, making a trip back to their truck once to deposit everything before heading back out. Her head turned sharply at Daryl's whistle, calling her back so they could leave. It had been decided, without her, that she'd drive the truck they'd come in with Pierre and Marc in the back seat. She'd follow Daryl driving the covered military truck with Rick in the back guarding the doctor.

Apparently this was the safest option for all involved.

Beth drove behind Daryl until just before dusk settled in, when they pulled into a small courtyard. She had no idea where they were, but it appeared to be calm as they made quick work of clearing the stone building. It had been a church in its former life. There was a small office off the chapel where the French mena decided to settle in for the night. Pierre would be fine in time, the bullet aimed for him just leaving a deep graze across his thigh.

Rick deposited their hostage in a chair near the pulpit before walking back down the aisle towards where Beth and Daryl waited for him to explain his plan of action for his interrogation. She didn't even let him get that far though. "Let me do it."

"I don't know if–"

"Just talking to me will be a form of torture for him," she said cockily. "Trust me. Or would you rather Daryl hit him like he did back at the farm?"

The brothers looked at each other before they both nodded. "Alright," Rick drawled. "But we're not leaving you alone with him."

She raised an eyebrow at them but spoke to Daryl. "Back to being my chaperone, Mr Dixon?" He frowned at her as Rick looked confused at the two, but she was off, making her way towards the doctor at the far end of the room. The men joined her, positioning themselves on either side of her but a few feet back. Close enough to intervene if need be, but far enough to not crowd her.

Beth crossed her arms and stared down at the man before her. He was already nervous, fidgeting in the seat they'd tied him to, but she waited until she saw sweat form on his brow before she spoke. "I was told you were dead Steve," she said haughtily, and she moved to start circling the chair slowly. "So you can imagine how surprised I am to see you here. You know, I learned some pretty interesting things when I left Grady. Percy and Shepherd, especially, had some things to get off their chests once they were away from that place." Once she was back to standing ahead of him she narrowed her eyes at him "I'm sure you can guess what it was about."

Edwards looked like he was about to piss his pants and she had to fight her face from smiling at his discomfort. "I–i didn't mean–i was aiming for your shoulder–"

"Well you fucking missed!" Her shout echoed through the room. She breathed out and fought against her ire. They did need to get some answers from him. "What are you doing here?"

When he just stared at her half-horrified Daryl jumped in "How'd you get to France?"

He was just shy of trembling before them and she didn't even try to hide her eye roll at his cowardliness. "We–I–could I have–"

"No," she cut in. "Answer the question."

He looked back and forth between them and swallowed. "We called for help when the hospital became overrun. The dead had been gathering for weeks, and it was only a matter of time. When the CRM didn't answer at first, I wondered if you had something to do with it," he said to Beth. "But it turns out they just didn't have a need for us anymore. After everything we'd done for them." He looked into his lap and shook his head. "Dawn had this…emergency button. I don't think anyone else knew she had it, but I grabbed it off her body before anyone saw, saved it for a rainy day. So I got away from the hospital the day we got overrun and pressed the button. A woman showed up. Said her name was Lieutenant Colonel Kublek and she could help me if I helped her.

"What'd she want?" the archer asked.

He lifted his head and his eyes flickered between the three of them before answering. "Information, mostly. But I was also studying the virus so–"

"She brought you here," she said matter-of-fact as he nodded. "Why?"

He breathed out heavily. "It started here, they think. She set me up with a lab, a real one with every kind of equipment I could ever need. With assistants, and supplies. Real guards to keep the dead away. She'd check in every now and then but mostly left me alone, until today." Beth's body went on high-alert at the news. "She said they needed me in Paris–"

"You saw Kublek?" she questioned. "Today? Where is she?"

Edwards' looked between her and the others confused about why the English woman was so important. "I–I don't know. She left before we did with a French woman."

At this he gained one of the men's attention. Daryl got closer to the man who leaned back as far as he could in the chair to keep what distance he could. "You catch a name?"

He shook his head. "No but she seemed important," he offered.

"Brown hair? Bitchy face?"

The doctor's mouth gaped like a fish as he struggled to answer. "Um,uh–yeah. S–sure."

The three interrogators turned towards each other as they processed the information they'd gathered. "What are the chances the people you're both looking for have been working together?" Rick asked breaking the silence.

"I'd put money on it," Daryl deadpanned.

Beth snorted before frowning. "Yeah, I don't like this particular coincidence. Edwards and Kublek both know about me, so Frenchie probably does too, right?" Both men nodded. "This used to be a secret," she muttered mostly to herself as she turned away to take a few steps, just needing to move in some way and not stand still with all the lingering energy in her body. "How long's the list now?" she asked them. When they both looked puzzled she elaborated. "'The French To-Do'? Find Carol," she started counting off on her fingers. "Deal with Genet, deal with Kublek. Deal with him," she said, her eyes cutting over to the man as she jerked her head. "We have five weeks before the ship leaves without us, and a lot of ends to tie up before that." She sighed as she pursed her lips and shook her head. She glanced between the men and their prisoner. "Can I kill him now?"