"After thoroughly examining the corpses, we determined that the deceased were not killed by any known weapon associated with the Exterminators or Heaven. Yet we still could not form a reasonable guess as to what caused their deaths. The injuries, as shown in the photographs taken at the scene, are completely unknown. Clearly, multiple devastating impacts capable of creating fairly clean holes through flesh and bone were delivered to each individual. This would lead us to assume that a gun, specifically a rifle or something similar, was used. But no firearm in all of Hell can inflict this level of destruction, nor can any ammunition-type that we're aware of.
The likelihood that this was a test run for a new weapon created by the more unstable residents of our realm is quite good. Yet, a sound counterpoint to this suggestion is that the area where the incident occurred is in shambles. No gangs, organizations, syndicates, or groups of any other sort operate there. And a full sweep of the buildings within a ten-mile radius yielded no signs of life apart from the few citizens occupying them. However, these individuals are not under investigation because most are spun-out drug addicts; the rest are your average thug or neanderthal. Leaving us, at this time, with no suspects.
As of now, we're not sure how to proceed. This council is confident in the assertion that Heaven has not begun the Extermination early. With that in mind, we believe it best to wait until the Exterminators' work is done before looking into this matter further. But, should you disagree, we will follow whatever order or course you dictate as we have and always will. And with that, the council's report is finished. What say you, Lord Lucifer?"
With that question, all eyes in the room shifted from the councilman to the one true ruler of Hell, Lucifer Magne. Everyone first noticed the irritated expression on his face, but it wasn't directed toward the speaker or anyone else in attendance. Lucifer was supposed to be with his wife and, hopefully, his beloved daughter. But regarding the latter, it depended on whether or not she'd be willing to leave that delusion of hers for a few days, which wasn't likely.
Still, the point remained that Lucifer wasn't supposed to be here. Neither was his council. But some random bullshit had to happen, and as the people in charge, they needed to deal with it.
"...I agree with your assessment," Lucifer stated, causing many members of his council to breathe sighs of relief. "However, your report didn't include the most concerning detail about this situation. None of the deceased have returned. As you all know, the only thing that can kill any of us, Hellspawn or Sinner, is a weapon of Divine origin. I don't call into question your thoroughness with the autopsy of the corpses, but what explanation can you give for the disappearance of these Sinners' souls?" He inquired.
"Well, sire, it isn't uncommon for souls to be taken into possession by the more powerful of Hell's denizens. And given how they died via an unknown weapon, we believe it had to be the work of an Overlord or Noble. That wasn't in the report because, as we noted, we have no suspects. Whoever killed those Sinners was a professional. No tracks. No scent. No gunshot residue, should the murder weapon be a gun. Likewise, there were no casings of any kind. No hairs. No fingerprints. And there are no eyewitnesses due to the location." The speaker responded.
"That...is sound reasoning." Lucifer agreed, followed by a sigh of his own. "But still, the fact that those Sinners are gone can't be ignored. Again, I'd like to repeat that I trust your conclusion on the matter. My insistence that we must look into it further only comes from how unusual this is. Heaven's never been early or late when it comes to the Extermination, not even by a micro-second. And our people, despite their savagery, collectively calm down when one approaches and then resume their regularly scheduled fuckery once it's over. So, unless we want to put a pin in this, which I don't think is wise, we must try our best to maintain the investigation even as the angels descend." He told them. "Any objections?" He asked.
In reaction, a different council member raised their hand. Wanting to receive permission before they spoke.
"Proceed," Lucifer said.
"Thank you, my lord." The councilman replied, bowing slightly to show respect. "I do not have an objection. What I seek is an answer to an inquiry. On our end, we can easily continue our search for answers while staying out of the Exterminators' way. We'll use this time to examine the Sinners' who perished. But while we do that, what will you do?" They inquired.
"For the sake of total certainty, I will be reaching out to my kin in Heaven. Even if this wasn't an angel, as we believe, they still need to be informed." Lucifer responded.
"And if it was an angel? A rogue among the Exterminators' ranks that got gun-ho?" Another councilman asked.
"If that turns out to be the truth behind this mystery, then my brother Gabriel will make it his responsibility to find the culprit and punish them. Should that happen, we're in the clear and won't have to do anything else." Lucifer answered with a smile.
Hearing that did cause a decent uproar of laughter from the council, as the idea of Heaven's Judge taking this workload off their shoulders was extremely nice. And yet, Lucifer was the only one who didn't partake in the merriment. Because deep down, there was a part of him that knew Heaven had nothing to do with this, nor was it a rogue angel.
It was far too strange. Far too unexpected. Almost as if something unnatural was unfolding within his domain.
Elsewhere, At The Happy Hotel...
"Hey, dad. It's me...again. You know, Charlie? Your daughter?" Currently, Charlie was speaking into her cellphone, leaving her fifth voice message for her father to find. "I'm not going to explain why I'm calling. The first three voicemails have already said as much as I can. I just REALLY need you to get back to me as soon as possible. Can't stress enough how important this is. Seriously. So, please, answer your damn phone." She concluded before ending the call.
After Vagatha and Alastor returned to the hotel, much to the relief of Charlie and Nifty, that relief was swiftly replaced with worry once they realized Angel Dust wasn't with them. And the moment Alastor finished recounting what his shadow creature had told him, Charlie's phone was already in her hand, and her father's number was on speed dial.
"Wow. Charlie cursed. S'like seeing a unicorn." Husk said with widened eyes, being genuine rather than sarcastic, surprisingly.
"Well, of course, she did. We're ALL worried." Nifty replied. She was sitting on top of the front desk, allowing her to be at the same eye level as her feline friend.
"Eh, three out of five." Husk corrected with a shrug, making her gasp.
"Husk! Don't you dare try and act like you're not worried about Angel! Especially not after what Al told us!" Nifty exclaimed, taken aback by his attitude.
"Look, do I hope the spider's alright? Sure. It's not like I want him to die, even though he is constantly pissing me off. But at the same time, this is Angel. We don't know if he's at Porn Studios right now. And on top of THAT, Al told us that none of the bodies his creature saw resembled our resident slut. So, as of right now, ANYTHING could be happening. Even nothing at all, and you women are just acting paranoid." Husk explained.
"I'll admit, I did freak out a little when Al told me everything," Vagatha confessed, wanting to be transparent. "But even you have to acknowledge how fucking weird the scene his shadow creature saw is. Members of Lucifer's council were investigating a random shooting in one of the worst parts of Pentagram City that happened TWO days before the Extermination. It all points in one direction, which doesn't look good." She said.
"Yeah, I agree that the situation goes well beyond peculiar and into conspiracy-level shit. But still, what Exterminator, if it were an Exterminator, would let Angel Dust escape when it left no other survivors?" Husk asked.
"AH, AH, AH! We DON'T use the E word!" Nifty interjected, making him roll his eyes.
"Angelic behavioral corrections official who uses extreme methods for uncooperative people in Hell." Husk rephrased, making her smile.
"Thank you," Nifty said.
"I'm not saying that whole scenario makes any sense. But we can't rule out the possibility this was Divine intervention, so to say." Vagatha answered before turning toward the Radio Demon. "Al? Care to back me up here?" She requested.
"Wait, you're asking HIM for help?" Husk questioned with widened eyes, an expression he shared with Nifty.
"Yes. Because he feels the same about this as I do. Right?" Vagatha replied, her eyes still on the smiling Sinner.
"I agree that this isn't normal. As well as that whatever happened had to be significant enough to warrant the presence of Hell's highest powers, excluding the king himself. But I also think Husk is fair in remaining skeptical until we have anything more. For all we know, Lucifer's council could just be airing on the side of caution. Violence is so rare when the Extermination is near that any hostile action could cause concern." Alastor stated.
"Which is why I'm trying to call my dad." Charlie chimed in, joining the conversation. "That is if he'll remember to turn on his phone..." She muttered afterward.
"You know what? I think I've got something to help us through this trying time." Husk said before he ducked down behind the desk. "Give me a moment. I forgot where I stashed it down here..." He added, followed by the sound of him rummaging through an unknowable amount of bottles.
As the group waited for the beer cat to get...beer. Suddenly, amidst the sound of clanking glass, they heard footsteps. And when they traced the noise to its origin, they discovered it was coming from...the nearby hallway that led to the ground floor rooms and elevator? But the group wouldn't have any time to voice their curiosity and confusion, for they were quickly stricken with shock as a certain arachnid appeared wearing a bright pink satin robe.
"Ah, ha! Found the fucker!" Husk exclaimed in victory. "Alright, guys. Grab a glass and get ready. Because this shit's gonna knock you the fuck-"
By that point, Husk had emerged from behind the front desk. A bottle containing an unknown liquid was firmly grasped in one of his hands. Yet he, like the others, wasn't focused on that as he saw the same thing they did emerge from the hallway.
" *Yawn* Morning, everyone." Angel Dust casually greeted them as he approached. "Why're we gathered in the lobby? Did something happen?" He asked.
No one answered. Instead, most of the group slowly turned their heads toward the hotel's front desk man. Who, upon receiving their gazes, broke free from his stunned state.
"Oooooooooooooooh, no. I did NOT fuck up." Husk began, immediately enraged by what he assumed they were thinking. "I get it. I'm a raging alcoholic. My word can't be trusted. I caused a fucking circus for nothing. But I give you my word. No, scratch that. My SOUL. That THIS eight-legged cocksucker did NOT come back here last night. And if he DID, he sure as SHIT didn't walk through THOSE two doors ALL the fucking way over there!" He shouted. No matter what was about to happen, he would NOT take the fall for this.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why are we shouting?" Angel Dust asked.
"Angel, we've been worried sick about you. You didn't come home as far as we knew. And Husk is sure he didn't see you come in before he went to bed." Charlie answered.
"Yeah! And I swear if you try to fucking screw me here, Angel, I will-"
Before he could finish that sentence, Angel Dust pressed a finger against his lips. Effectively silencing him.
"Shh, it's okay, Mr. Rough and Gruff. I can explain everything." Angel Dust promised. "So, here's what happened. I was out patrolling the streets, doing my thing. And, to my surprise, quite a few customers were still around and not hiding somewhere. Unfortunately, the last guy I serviced didn't have any cash. But what he DID have was a top-notch pouch of powder. Now, I know part of my rehab is no drugs. And I wouldn't have done any had it not been for Val. Because, ya know, I had to turn in my earnings for the night, which included the pocketful of snow I was carrying. He insisted we do it together. I got high. I gave him his usual lap dance. He sent me packing with a smack to my ass after a while, then I walked back here. By the time I reached the hotel, my head was clearing up, but not enough to where I could walk through the lobby and past Husk without causing a fuss and making a mess. So, I went ALL the way to the back, came in through the rear, no pun intended, and went to bed. The end." He explained.
For about a minute or so, everyone was silent. On the one hand, this wasn't a surprising series of events for Angel Dust. If anything, this was a typical work day. There was no reason to spend too much time thinking about it.
But on the other hand, what was that whole situation with the dead demons and Lucifer's inner circle? Is it a coincidence that something so odd would also happen when Angel Dust seemed to be missing? For the others, they couldn't definitively say they believed his story. Something wasn't right. But they had nothing tangible to accuse him of lying, and he didn't appear to be deceiving them because...well, Angel Dust wasn't the best at that.
"Guys?" Angel Dust spoke up, regaining their attention. "Are we gonna stand around in silence and stare at each other? Or..." He inquired.
"Angel, look me in the eyes," Vagatha instructed, stepping closer to be directly in front of him.
"Don't you mean eye? You only have one while the other is that weird x thing you've got." Angel Dust pointed out.
"Just look at me, asshole," Vagatha demanded, not in the mood for his usual bullshit.
"Okay. Whatever you say." Angel Dust replied, going along with whatever this was.
"Are you telling us the truth?" Vagatha asked with an unblinking stare.
"Chica, I'm not feeding you shit. What I said is what happened. I've got no reason to fucking lie other than to avoid another lecture from you and an informative slideshow on why drug abuse is bad from Charlie. Complete with pictures and a puppet show." Angel Dust answered. Even going so far as to call her chica to annoy her.
"Hmm...I'm not sure if you're trying to get a rise out of me because you're being a prick or because it'll deflect suspicion..." Vagatha said, causing him to sigh.
"Hey, if you don't believe me, that's YOUR problem. I got a handprint still stuck on my ass from Val buried beneath my fur, confirming my story. I've also got a MASSIVE appetite, so I'm going to shovel the fridge's contents into my face while the mystery gang and their animal sidekick get to work." Angel Dust told them before turning around and walking away.
Everyone watched the spider demon strut through the door that led to the dining area, which would lead to the kitchen. Once he was out of sight, the group was left to think to themselves about the validity of his story. Hopefully, as Charlie mentioned earlier, her father will remember to turn on his cell phone. Should that happen, perhaps he could offer some much-needed clarity to alleviate their minds' uncertainties.