"At last..." Gabriel sighed as he gently lowered his quill into its ink pot. "For now, I can rest..." He said while closing his eyes and leaning back in his chair.
No matter the size of the work nor how intensive it might be, Gabriel would always finish it without fail. Even now, amidst a crisis never seen by Heaven or Hell, he managed to do so efficiently and flawlessly. There was no error on any of the documents he'd written. A feat that, while common for him, was still one he took great pride in.
Although not one to brag about himself or his accomplishments, Gabriel's perfect record when it came to his position was something he liked to be known. But not for the sake of receiving praise and acknowledgment. He wanted everyone to feel safe and sure that he could always fulfill his duties and responsibilities. After all, no one would feel comfortable about an Archangel who was MOSTLY competent at his job.
And, as a bonus, reaching this level of skill allowed Gabriel these brief moments of relaxation. It'd be a while before another sizeable delivery of parchments and papers was brought to him. So, he'd use this precious fleeting time to explore his thoughts and ponder-
...
...
...A soul?
"Hm?" Gabriel sounded, surprised to have a visitor.
Unexpectedly, the Archangel felt a soul connect itself to his abode. However, as he assessed the guest's identity, he found it wasn't Michael which would've been his first assumption. Still, it WAS family. And when he realized who it was...
"Charlie?" Gabriel questioned, now opening his eyes. "Why would she be here?..." He asked, only to narrow his eyes a second later. "Oh, I swear, if Azrael brought her here to try and sway me..." He muttered, remembering his recent conversation with his sister.
Regardless of the reason that brought his niece here, Gabriel was happy to have this unexpected opportunity to see Charlie. After allowing his visitor (potentially visitors) in, he quickly heard the sounds of hasted footsteps running down the stairs.
"Uncle Gabe!" Charlie greeted him with her well-known ear-to-ear smile, arms outstretched and ready for a hug.
Despite not being one for physical contact, Gabriel made an exception for his Niece. As everyone knew, Charlie was a true bundle of sunshine. A hug from her was guaranteed to lift your spirits and energize a tired soul.
"Charlie, a most pleasant surprise." Gabriel welcomed her as he rose from his seat, moved closer to her, and accepted the embrace. "What brings you so far from home? I hope you and your father haven't had another fight." He asked.
"Nope. No family drama yet." Charlie answered while squeezing her uncle. "However, we did come for an important reason. There's something we need to tell you." She informed.
Immediately, Gabriel assumed his Niece was referring to her father since he had just mentioned him. But as it turned out, the "we" she spoke of was Azrael and...Michael?
"...I'm confused," Gabriel said after a few seconds of trying to deduce what was happening. "Michael, there was something important that you didn't tell me?" He questioned.
"Hm? Oh! No, no, no, Uncle Gabe. Sorry, I should've been clearer." Charlie apologized, realizing the issue while ending the hug. "Uncle Mike needs to hear what Auntie Az and I have to say too. He's with us because he came to meet us at the gates." She explained.
"Yup. I am as excited and curious as you are, Brother." Michael admitted with an eager grin.
"Huh, I see..." Gabriel replied, his mind still trying to figure things out. "Question, does this have any relation to our current situation?" He asked.
"Oh. Believe me, Uncle. It does." Charlie confirmed with a wide-eyed serious expression.
"...Alright," Gabriel responded. A bit loss for words at the sudden shift in his Niece's demeanor.
"Trust us. The two of you will want to sit down." Azrael warned. Her attitude was equally perplexing.
"But there's only one chair." Michael pointed out.
Gabriel made a chair appear in front of his desk without saying a word. The entirety of his dwelling, not just the entrance, was bound to his very soul. So, conjuring a stone seat from the floor was no issue.
"Hold on!" Michael exclaimed as his Brother calmly walked back to his chair. "Gabriel! You could've done that this entire time?!" He questioned.
"Of course," Gabriel confirmed as he sat down.
"But...then why have you never done so before?!" Michael pressed.
"Because I do not engage in long conversations here. Nor do I host parties or meals. Apart from your constant insistence on sibling bonding time, everyone else who arrives does so to state business. They only need their legs or wings to keep them upright to achieve that." Gabriel explained, unaffected by his Brother's bewilderment.
"Okay, you two. Settle down." Azrael intervened. "Remember, we came here to talk to you. It is immensely urgent. We don't have much time to spare on pleasantries and banter." She reminded.
Michael, although wanting to continue this conversation with Gabriel, silently agreed with a huff to put a pin in it for now. And so, with a plop of his rear into the stone seat, both men were ready to receive the information their kin had come bearing.
"Thank you," Azrael said before looking at Charlie. "Shall I? Or shall you?" She asked.
"I think it'd be best to start with me. But then, when we reach the part you became involved, you can take over." Charlie answered.
"That sounds perfect. Proceed." Azrael agreed.
Meanwhile, In Hell...
"So, have you found any differences yet?" Nifty inquired as she watched Husk examine his desk and the wall lined with booze that sat behind it.
"...No..." Husk quietly muttered, nearly to the point of being unheard. "It's...all the same. Everything. The desk. The wall. The booze. Everything." He said in disbelief before turning around to face the lobby. "Okay, Mister Mute. How the fuck did you guys do this?! Some kind of time magic?" He asked.
Currently, tit was 3 AM in Heaven and Hell. Luckily, this meant those presently relaxing in the lobby of the Happy Hotel didn't need to worry about hiding the armored super-soldier to avoid suspicion. However, that wouldn't be Husk's priority even if they did. Because somehow, during the period everyone spent on Mars, the lobby had been returned to how it was before Azrael got decked.
"Hang on!" Angel Dust, who had left for his room when they got back, shouted from the nearby hallway.
Putting a brief pause in the conversation, Doomguy, Husk, Nifty, and Cherri watched the Spider Demon come running in their direction with a pen and notepad.
"Here ya go, big guy." Angel Dust said as he handed them over to the space marine. "Sorry that none of us can read sign language." He apologized.
In reply, Doomguy shook his head and waved his hand while taking the notepad and pen. Conveying that it wasn't an issue and that he didn't expect EVERYONE to know that form of communication.
"Maybe we can get him a text-to-speech thing? You know, like our phones?" Cherri suggested as she held up her cell phone.
"That might not be a bad idea. We'll have to talk to Samuel about that. However, I don't know how I'd create the text." Doomguy wrote on the notepad.
"Oooh! You have very neat handwriting!" Nifty complimented him from her spot on top of the front desk. "Not that I thought your handwriting would be messy." She added, not wanting the wrong intention to be taken from her words.
"Thank you." Doomguy wrote, making her smile.
"Hey! Excuse me!" Husk exclaimed, getting his attention. "Remember me? The guy waiting for an answer?" He reminded.
Over the next minute, the others waited as Doomguy scribbled on the notepad. When he was finished, the page said this:
"The drones. You saw them repair Samuel. They fixed the lobby. Using a program Samuel created and standard scanning technology, they could recreate the room before I damaged it digitally. Once that was done, they needed materials, which we have back on Mars in surplus."
"Huh. That...was unexpectedly normal..." Husk admitted, genuinely anticipating some more outlandish crap to be the explanation. "But what about the booze? Even if you guys had a brewery on Mars, I'd find it hard to believe you could perfectly recreate the labels and other specific details. Unless your tech is just that crazy advanced." He said.
"You have me to thank for that." Angel Dust responded with a proud smirk. "I squirreled enough bottles away in my room to restock the bar. After we all went to Mars, I told Samuel about them so he could send the drones to fetch'em. Pretty smart thinking, huh?" He informed them, wanting to be praised.
"Angel, the ENTIRE bar is restocked," Husk stated. His brain was struggling to understand how anyone, even himself, could have THAT much liquor stashed.
"Dude, my only interests are sex, drugs, and alcohol. I can only fuck myself while at the hotel, and Charlie and Vag barely allow painkillers in here. My fridge, closet, and the space beneath my bed were CRAMMED with bottles I snuck away from you when you were either asleep, passed out, or too drunk off your ass to notice." Angel Dust explained.
"And what about you then?" Husk questioned, moving his focus to the pint-sized cyclops sitting next to him. "You HAD to have noticed his hoard." He said.
"Well, duh, Husk. I'm not BLIND." Nifty replied with an eye roll. "But it's Angel's room. My job as the hotel's housekeeping is to deal with dust, dirt, grime, scum, stains, tears in the sheets, cracks in the windows, splinters in the chairs, pillows that need re-fluffing, furniture that MFFPH!"
Before Nifty could continue any further, Husk shoved a nearby rag into her mouth. As the now fiery redhead worked to pull it out so she could shout at the feathered feline, the other three began to talk among themselves.
"So, Doomguy." Cherri began, causing him to look at her. "We saw you beat the life out of that Baron. But I'm going to make a wild guess and say that isn't your ONLY method of killing them, right?" She inquired.
In reply, Doomguy decided not to use the notepad. Instead, he used one of the functions of his suit. Specifically, the system that allowed him to deconstruct and reform his weapons. The rate at which this occurred was nigh instantaneous. Making it appear as if they popped out of nowhere into his hands.
However, Doomguy didn't want to overwhelm them by summoning one of his larger armaments. So, he went with the tried and true classic. A gun that could never go out of style or be outclassed in its intended use.
"Whoa..." Cherri and Angel Dust said in unison. Yet, it wasn't in reaction to the appearance of the firearm but the firearm itself.
Held comfortably in Doomguy's hands was a double-barreled shotgun. No, scratch that; it was THE double-barreled shotgun. The craftsmanship of the gun as a whole, the detailed work on the barrels, the sheer POWER it exhumed with its mere existence. This was an unrivaled pellet dispensing death-dealing life-erasing weapon. It was the single most gorgeous thing either of the Sinners had seen.
"Could...Could I hold it?..." Cherri cautiously requested. She NEEDED to get a closer inspection of this beauty.
In response, Doomguy dropped the barrels and ejected the shells. So long as the gun wasn't loaded, he didn't mind handing it over.
"You lucky bitch." Angel Dust whispered while peering over her shoulder, wanting the same close look as her.
"You snooze, you lose," Cherri replied as she began her examination.
Admittedly, Doomguy was flattered and amazed. He didn't think he'd meet anyone with the same affinity and attentiveness to weaponry. Watching them look over the shotgun, he could tell they knew their stuff. He deduced their expertise from what they paid attention to; they weren't simply glancing over the gun; the duo was taking proper mental notes of every detail.
"So, stupid question. I'm aware before I even ask it." Cherri began after a few minutes had passed. "But is there, at ALL, a chance for me to shoot this sometime? Maybe when we're not dealing with a crisis of our existence?" She inquired.
Both Cherri and Angel Dust were floored when they saw Doomguy start to write on his notepad. They each expected a simple shake of his head.
"I wouldn't say it's impossible. However, it would be on my terms. Back on Mars, at the shooting range, with constant supervision. You follow every rule and instruction I give. How does that sound?" Doomguy wrote.
"YES! ABSOLUTELY!" Cherri enthusiastically accepted.
"HEY! WHAT THE FUCK?! I'VE KNOWN YOU LONGER! I SHOULD GET FIRST DIBS!" Angel Dust shouted.
And, like that, another argument was underway. To his front and back, Doomguy had two sets of squabbling demons. Yet no fireballs, missiles, bullets, caustic bile, or plasma spheres were being thrown or ejected at high speeds. Allowing the space marine his first-ever opportunity to sit back and enjoy the feuding without worrying about becoming involved.
Elsewhere, In Pentagram City, Inside A Very Extravagant Apartment...
Katie Killjoy wasn't one to let just anyone inside her home. She wasn't the sort who'd grant entry to a random person. And, above all else, she'd NEVER consider allowing someone who showed up at 3 AM to sit with her in her living room and chat. But, even if Katie ignored who her unexpected guests were, they being recently acquired "associates" in her dealings with the princess, there was a good reason she welcomed this odd couple into her abode.
Vagatha and Alastor. The girlfriend and business partner of Charlie Magne, respectively. They swore on their very souls they had a story Katie would kill even the Devil to have. They also went the extra mile and offered the Mantis Demon the privilege of murdering them without ANY resistance if she found their information displeasing. No one could refuse such a confident wager to entice their attention. Combine that with Katie's well-known sadism; no matter how things played out, she would savor a most delightful reward.
...Yet...Katie wasn't thinking about that right now. Truthfully, she was barely thinking at all. When the pair of Sinners began telling their story, Katie was admittedly confused by the questions they asked her. Had she ever considered the possibility of other realities? The existence of Demons not even Lucifer knew of? And many other maddening things.
But, whether out of curiosity or courtesy, Katie let them continue without interruption. Then, around the halfway point, the things the duo said were borderline insane. No, that's not true; it WAS crazy. So much so that she was about to stop them and make good on their promise of sacrifice.
However, that is when Alastor, having noticed the building skepticism in Katie's eyes, made one final request. With another promise to their host, the Radio Demon vowed that after one phone call, they'd have proof so convincing Katie would believe them wholeheartedly. Interested and amused by such a bold statement, she allowed it. After a brief conversation with someone, perhaps the person Katie had skewered not long ago, the trio waited for this so-called "proof."
The total amount of time that passed until it arrived was five minutes. Katie knew the number perfectly because that's when her brain stopped working properly. When those five minutes passed, a light blue portal appeared in her apartment. Afterward, Alastor disappeared into it and came back seconds later, bringing with him a...a...a...
"Miss Killjoy?"
That static-layered voice. It made Katie blink a few times and finally pry her gaze away from what was in front of her. To her shock, the Radio Demon was standing next to where she sat. There was a satisfied and proud smile on his face.
"Are you alright? There's a ghostly gray color to your usual snow-white complexion. You bear a greater resemblance to a corpse at the moment than you do your normal self." Alastor said.
Katie wanted to speak. Sadly, her mouth refused to function, the same as her mind. All she could do was stare at him with an unblinking gaze.
"Here. Take a drink. It'll help soothe your nerves."
That was Vagatha's voice. It came from Katie's other side. When she turned to look in that direction, she discovered the Moth Demon standing there while holding a cup of hot tea. Yet the strangest thing about this sight was the expression on her face. A comforting smile rather than an annoyed or displeased look.
Of course, given her current state, Katie gladly accepted the beverage. She didn't know if the tea had been brought through the portal or if Vagatha had made it in her kitchen. Honestly, that didn't matter in the slightest to her.
Taking a nice, slow, long sip of the tea, Katie's body began rapidly relaxing. Her muscles loosened up. The fogginess of her mind cleared. She felt confident to say something.
"...What...is it?..." Katie asked, her eyes moving back to the entity Alastor had brought through the portal.
Suspended in a tube was a creature that resembled a human skeleton. However, there was so, SO much wrong with it. The bones were longer and bigger than a normal skeleton. The muscles and the few pieces of flesh that remained had been grotesquely stretched and strained. But somehow, that wasn't the worst of it.
A mess of devices and various other technological pieces had been fused or grafted onto the skeleton; making it look like a macabre cyborg. Now, Katie had seen and done a lot of fucked up shit in her life. Things like corpses, torture, mutilation, and death were not upsetting to her.
But this was something new. Something perverse. A sickening combination of organic life and artificial augmentation that not even the most extreme and unhinged residents of Hell would ever consider. And those eyes. Those disgustingly milky eyes the creature possessed lacked any pupils or irises.
To be fair, Katie's eyes were solid red and nothing else. Yet still, you could see the life within hers. You could tell that a soul was hidden behind them. But this...monster, despite being deceased, had a look frozen in those vacant orbs that she couldn't describe. Not that she'd ever want to.
"A Revenant," Alastor answered, regaining her attention. "They're corpses of humans given new life through a power that, at this time, seems not too dissimilar from ours. Although, it might be safe to assume it's more sinister, given the result. As for the technological components, this specimen differs from those encountered in the past due to circumstances we're unaware of. However, it's been confirmed by an irrefutable expert that this subject and prior ones are nearly identical. So, while different, it's not to such a considerable degree that it can be deemed a new variation. At least, not to the expert." He informed her.
"And...who's this expert? How could they even BE an expert on something like this?" Katie questioned while taking another sip of the tea.
"Sorry, you'll have to wait on that." Vagatha apologized. "Forgive us. The expert Al is referring to is strict regarding a person's conduct. But when you do meet him and learn more, you'll understand why." She said. "Assuming you want to learn more, that is." She added.
"How could I not? You've wheeled a sci-fi zombie into my apartment." Katie reminded them, earning a chuckle from the Radio Demon.
"True. But we only did that because you were starting to doubt what we were telling you." Alastor countered.
"Can you blame me? Be honest." Katie inquired, now looking at him. "You two were talking about a Hell different from the one we live in. You started describing beasts and creatures that sound like they belong in a fantasy story. Ignoring what you know, wouldn't you say that's nonsense?" She challenged.
"Well, consider this. In OUR Hell, we have many critters that are not found back on Earth. Dragons, eldritch-esque horrors with countless tendrils, shadows that can be summoned to do your bidding, and so many more. Sure, we didn't lead with the cybernetically enhanced Demons. But nothing we mentioned was TOO outlandish. Comparatively speaking." Alastor argued.
"If you'll recall, one of the Demons you mentioned was Imps. But not the midget-sized ones we have and know. You described those Imps as roughly the size of a human, among other sharply contrasting details. That's where my speculation started." Katie pointed out.
"Hm, that's reasonable." Alastor conceded, having no counter to that. "But tell us, why has this skeletal fellow shocked you so badly? I've seen you reduce people to less and then some on your broadcasts." He asked.
"Because...look at it!" Katie exclaimed while gesturing to the Revenant. "That's not a corpse you dug up from a graveyard or stole from a morgue. That's someone's twisted science experiment! The kind of thing you'd see in a horror movie!" She told them as she got up to look at it more closely. "But even from afar, you can tell this isn't an elaborate costume or prop. As you said, Alastor, I've seen my share of bodies. Most of which I created myself. So I know what real bones and muscles look like. Yet even if I deliberately ignored the odd proportions and mangled anatomy, all of the mechanical parts of this thing would demand I look at them. They're attached to this creature in such a horrifying way. There wasn't any care in the application. It almost comes across as whoever's responsible kept messing with the body until something happened. Again, like a twisted science experiment." She described, only to finally notice another alarming detail. "And...hold on...are those...MISSILE LAUNCHERS!?" She shouted in shock.
Sure enough. Mounted on the Revenant's shoulders were two highly-advanced rocket launchers. Thankfully, neither seemed to be functioning or loaded.
"Yes, mam. You'd need those if you're going to effectively murder large groups of fleeing people. I hear they're also guided, able to chase down their targets with incredible speed." Alastor stated, almost as if he were trying to sell them to her.
"But...I...who...why?..." Katie struggled to stutter out; her mind was becoming foggy again.
"It's okay. We'll explain everything and more." Vagatha promised. "Again, assuming you are ready to listen." She added.
Katie didn't bother with a verbal response this time. She swiftly returned to her seat, sat down, and took her biggest swig yet of the tea. She was sure there'd be more revelations that'd blindside and leave her speechless. But, looking beyond personal intrigue, everything Vagatha and Alastor had to share was undoubtedly the GREATEST story anyone in their Hell would EVER know. No one was going to cover it other than Katie Killjoy. If they tried, she'd do her best to make them look like the Revenant that was currently in her living room.
Meanwhile, In Heaven...
"And that's it," Azrael concluded. "Please, don't hold back. Tell us how you feel and what you're thinking. Charlie and I have prepared ourselves for any possible reaction." She requested.
Admittedly, even as Azrael was saying that, she and Charlie knew it was mostly directed at Gabriel. When they were about three-fourths through talking, Michael had this frozen look of total astoundment. Whereas Gabriel, due to only his eyes being seen, offered no expression they could anticipate the reaction of.
Yet even that gave Charlie and Azrael nothing. The Archangel hadn't blinked or moved his glowing-blue eyes in the smallest way. He looked no different than if he were listening to something completely normal, such as a daily status report or Michael's attempts at sibling bonding that he mentioned earlier.
"..." Michael said nothing. The best he could muster was various noises and sounds that escaped his tightened throat and gaping mouth.
"Ooooookay. Uncle Mike's going to need a moment." Charlie commented, focusing solely on her other relative. "How about you, Uncle Gabe? Are you still with us?" She asked.
"I am, Charlie." Gabriel...calmly answered? What? How was he unaffected? Or at least, he seemed to be.
"Oh," Charlie responded. She didn't expect that, and neither did Azrael.
"Forgive my brief silence that followed Azrael's last statement," Gabriel said as he put a hand on his chest. "I was thinking about everything the two of you have told us. I wanted to consider it carefully to ensure I felt certain of my stance on it." He explained.
"Of course. You're owed that much." Azrael assured. "But since you're speaking now, does that mean you are?" She inquired.
"Indeed it does," Gabriel confirmed with a nod. "The short version, before we go further, is that I believe you. And, whenever it's possible, I'd like to learn more." He told them.
Upon hearing this, Azrael and Charlie adorned looks of surprise similar to Michael's. As for him, he slowly turned around in his stone chair to look at his Brother.
"What...do you...mean?..." Michael questioned in a whisper. Hearing his sibling say that was more unbelievable than everything their Sister and Niece had said.
"I believe them. There's nothing more to it." Gabriel repeated, still perfectly composed. "If this were anyone else, say a random Angel or otherwise. I'd be skeptical and would begin an investigation immediately. But Azrael and Charlie are not strangers bursting into my home while spouting nonsense. Neither of them has ever lied to me, and they have always been sound of mind. While our Sister is the most theatrical member of our family, she has never inflated the severity of any situation with her performances. The same can be said about our Niece. Although she is bursting with endless emotion and enthusiasm for nearly everything at all times, she is never exaggerative or delusional. There isn't a single good reason to doubt anything they say. I trust them without hesitation and will proudly accept my humiliation if said trust has been betrayed for the first time. Because I certainly will not regret my faith that they are being honest with us." He firmly and proudly stated.
As those words sank into the others' minds, Gabriel braced for an inevitable reaction.
"Uncle Gabe!" Charlie exclaimed with joyous tears in her eyes before she rushed over and hugged him a second time.
"There it is," Gabriel said as he, like before, accepted and returned the embrace.
"I must admit, Brother. That may very well be the sweetest, most heart-warming thing I've ever heard. Thank you." Azrael told him in appreciation with a very big smile.
"If I may be a bit blunt, I don't know why you three are so flabbergasted by this," Gabriel confessed. "Remember, I AM the Archangel of Justice. The judge of all Creation. Even when speaking to or interacting with the most unsavory and untrustworthy souls, I give them a chance to make their case and offer explanations. I wouldn't be worthy of this position if I didn't." He said.
"But...But...What they're saying is blasphemous! Heretical!" Michael exclaimed.
"Are you saying you'll smite your Sister and Niece as heretics, Michael?" Azrael questioned with a raised brow.
"What? No! Never suggest such a thing ever again! That's horrible!" Michael passionately denied. "It's just...everything you two have told us goes against all that we know! Our Father, Charlie's Grandfather, is God! The ultimate lifeform! The origin of all life! The maker of Creation! And yet you're saying that it's all a lie? Or, at the very least, we've been kept in the dark. We've only been given the details and information our Father wants us to know. Am I the only one who thinks this is ludicrous?!" He asked.
"Michael. Please, breathe." Gabriel requested as his and Charlie's hug ended. "And, as you're doing that, allow me to say a few things before you go on another rant. As of now, our understanding of our Father's origin is this. There was nothing, and then there wasn't. In a spontaneous instance, a soul was formed. If we believe that is true, which we have no reason not to, then who is to say the same circumstances couldn't be recreated? Of course, they did imply that this new Hell pre-dates the entirety of our reality. However, it seems they are as confused and wanting answers as you are. They do not know everything yet, and I wouldn't expect them to. As such, we need to look into it. Sort the facts. Discern the truth and dispel the deception. To do so, we need to be calm. This isn't the time for hysterics and hyperventilation." He stated before looking at Azrael. "Also, if I recall correctly, you mentioned there are people more knowledgeable than yourselves regarding this topic. In addition, they're the ones who revealed all of this and provided evidence so definitive it convinced you. I'm not mistaken, am I?" He asked.
"Your memory's as sharp as your reasoning, Brother," Azrael confirmed with another smile. "Whenever you two are ready, we plan to take you to see these individuals. We thought it'd be best to see them rather than bring them here to see you, as it'd give you more chances to test the validity of everything. Plus, we didn't know how comfortable you'd be in allowing such strangers into Heaven and, by extension, your abode." She explained.
"A sensible and considerate choice." Gabriel complimented her and Charlie before rising from his seat. "Fortunately, as you arrived, I finished my current workload. Furthermore, my schedule is clear. I am ready to depart when you are." He said.
"Wait!" Michael exclaimed while also standing. "Shouldn't we go see Father about this? Surely, he would set the record straight! There's no need to go running around for answers!" He suggested.
"Michael, you know as well as I do that Father will not permit entry into the ivory tower unless it is of the utmost importance. Also, if this did require his involvement, he'd already be here. I said as much two weeks ago." Gabriel responded.
"I...suppose that is true..." Michael agreed, having not considered that.
"Good. I'm glad that's been settled." Gabriel replied. "Azrael, Charlie, I presume we're going to the hotel now?" He asked.
"That we are!" Charlie answered as she walked back to Azrael's side. "Would you like us to open a portal? Or should we take the long way back to the gates?" She inquired.
"The long way. I want to chat about this before we go to Hell. And I know a perfectly isolated route to the gates where none shall hear us conversing." Gabriel told her.
Meanwhile, At The Happy Hotel...
Doomguy didn't consider himself a slob. Sure, he stomped through multiple lifetimes worth of blood, bile, and other bodily fluids. On top of that, with all the guns he fired, and the munitions he handled, gunpowder and other such materials were bound to leave things like residue on his suit and weapons. However, as he looked at his reflection in a full-body mirror while Nifty sat atop his shoulders polishing his helmet, he couldn't deny he had been FILTHY.
After Nifty, Husk, Angel Dust, and Cherri all finished their back-and-forth of sarcastic comments and insults, Doomguy proceeded to show them the rest of his arsenal. While Angel Dust, Cherri, and surprisingly Husk showed great interest and appreciation for the guns, Nifty was horrified. To her, the weapons DESPERATELY needed a woman's touch. One that she was more than happy to provide if permitted by their owner.
Since the firearms were unloaded, meaning they were safe, Doomguy had no problems and was even grateful for her generosity. He then watched as Nifty, with a smile and a hum, speedily yet expertly worked her skills. In total, it took her ten minutes to finish. When she was done, he barely recognized his guns.
Their barrels and bodies shined like never before. Not a spec, even microscopic, remained. Any damage or blemishes to the weapons had also been addressed. Doomguy couldn't make sense of that since, to his knowledge, such repairs and maintenance weren't possible without a workstation and tools. But Nifty proved him wrong. Her expertise and prowess were unrivaled. Truly, it'd be impossible to find anyone in this Hell or anywhere else that was, at minimum, close to her level. Of which, Nifty was proudly aware.
However, after the firearms were restored to pristine condition, the mono-eyed cleaner inspected Doomguy's suit. And, once more, with his permission, she offered to give his armor a full-course clean free of charge. To no one's shock, the space marine granted the request. How could he not after seeing what she could do?
As a result, the armor was transformed. Initially, everyone assumed its natural color was dark green, bordering on black. But as it turned out, the entire suit was covered in thick layers of dirt, grime, gunpowder, soot, and other similar things. Once Nifty did what she did best, it now shined with a renewed bright green color.
During the suit's cleanse, Angel Dust and Cherri went to find a mirror so Doomguy could look at himself. In their words, it wasn't fair that they could see how amazing he looked now while he couldn't.
"You know, short stuff. I always knew you were good at cleaning. But never THIS good." Angel Dust praised her as she happily wiped Doomguy's helmet.
"Everyone's got their talents~" Nifty replied in a sing-song way. If she could, she'd stay on Doomguy's shoulders forever.
"Hey, Mister Mute," Husk called, getting the soldier's attention.
"Husk, call him Doomguy already. Geez." Cherri said, baffled that he was actively avoiding it.
"No," Husk responded before focusing back on the space marine. "As I was saying, I wanted to ask you something. I don't expect an exact answer, although it'd be impressive as all Hell if you managed to do that. How many battles have you fought? With the amount of shit that covered your armor and guns, it has to be more than any of us could guess." He inquired.
With Nifty remaining on his shoulders, Doomguy picked up his notepad and pen, which he set on the front desk while summoning his weapons, and began to write.
"Be specific. By battles, do you mean individual fights? Example: One-on-one with a demon. Or are you referring to a conflict that didn't end until everything was dead? Which would be closer to a medium or large-scale skirmish." Doomguy wrote on the paper.
"The second one. There's no fucking way you could keep a record of every single Demon you killed." Husk clarified.
Doomguy, now fully understanding the question, took a few minutes to think. When he was confident in his answer, he started writing again.
"Forgive the lack of details regarding what follows. For personal reasons, I don't want to get too into it. I can categorize my war against the demons into four parts. When it started, where it seemed to end, their retaliation, and what became a never-ending series of fights that would wage until they were finally dead. I can't give you a number for the last one; I stopped keeping track around that time. But these are the number of battles, without body counts, that I was in for each mentioned part in the order I stated. 36. 32. 32." Doomguy wrote.
"Huh, a perfect hundred," Cherri commented, finding that interesting.
"No wonder you were so filthy," Nifty said as she looked at the notepad. "When we get the chance, I'm drawing you a nice hot bath. Apart from cleaning you, you deserve it. A nice evening of relaxation is what you need." She told Doomguy.
"So...big guy..." Angel Dust started while casually approaching the space marine. "If you were asked, could you provide a body count? Even a rough estimation would do." He asked.
"Angel. There's no way that anyone, even Mister Mute here, could keep track of-"
Scribble
...Doomguy...started writing again...there...there's no way...
"I remember them all. Every. Last. One. There's no way you could forget something that runs at you, full speed, with the intent to kill. Nor could you hope to rid yourself of memories where you see members of your species transformed into terrifying monsters approaching you in hordes. It'd take me time to give you the most accurate count. But it's in the hundred thousand range for a rough immediate estimate. I don't think I've cracked a million yet." This is what was written on the notepad.
An awkward silence took the room. A mixture of amazement and regret filled the others. Especially Husk, who felt as though his curiosity accidentally agitated a wound.
"Sorry. I shouldn't have asked. The booze has rotted my brain to mush." Husk apologized.
"It's fine. Like I told Azrael back on Mars, I can't fault you for wanting answers. I'm no different." Doomguy wrote.
"Yeah, but we didn't participate in an eternal war to murder a bunch of twisted freaks. So, we should be more aware of what we ask." Angel Dust said.
"Oh! I know!" Nifty exclaimed with a grin. "We can talk about your interests and hobbies! I'd LOVE to hear about those! Please, spare no details." She proposed.
Sadly, Nifty wouldn't get such insight into the man that was Doomguy. Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of the twin doors of the hotel opening.
"Hey, there you are." Husk welcomed as Vagatha, Alastor, and Katie Killjoy walked in. "Surprised you three beat Charlie and Az." He admitted.
"We did?" Vagatha questioned, also surprised by that.
"Don't be so shocked, Vaggie." Alastor chimed in. "You and I make a power couple, purely platonic, that can accomplish anything we desire with impeccable proficiency!" He exclaimed.
Before Vagatha could respond, she, Alastor, and the others noticed Katie suddenly halt. It wasn't a mystery as to why.
"Is...that him?" Katie asked while pointing straight ahead. "The expert you mentioned?" She added.
"Yes. But he's far greener than when we last saw him. More vibrant, too." Alastor answered.
"Thanks to me!" Nifty informed while raising her hand. "I gave Doomguy a full once over. From his weapons to his suit, he's the cleanest he's ever been!" She proudly exclaimed.
"Doomguy? Is that what you call him?" Katie inquired.
"It's all we got. We don't know his real name, and he doesn't talk. As for how he came to be called Doomguy, that's a story best saved for later." Vagatha explained.
"I...see..." Katie said, unsure of what to make of that. "May...I approach him?" She asked.
Choosing to answer Katie himself, Doomguy beckoned her to come closer with his hand. When she did, she began to feel his aura. Without doing anything at all, this "Doomguy" emanated an intimidating and commanding presence.
"Hello." Katie greeted him when she was close enough. "My name is Katie Killjoy. I manage the PR for the hotel. I'm also a news anchor for a station known as channel six six six." She introduced herself while holding out one of her hands.
Professional and polite. With everything happening, Katie maintained this façade impressively well, to the point where Doomguy wondered if the others were aware of it too. Regardless of whether or not they were, as the space marine took and shook Katie's hand, he decided it'd be best to keep what he knew a secret for now since there were more important concerns.
"Damn, that's a strong grip. And I can tell you're barely trying." Katie complimented him. "Although, with arms like yours, I shouldn't sound so surprised." She added.
In reply, Doomguy nodded. Their handshake lasted a few more seconds before ending.
"So, Alastor and Vagatha told me you're an expert on everything they shared with me. I won't need to divulge what they said if that's true." Katie told him.
In response, Doomguy nodded again.
"Alright. Good. We can skip all of the needless exposition." Katie said with a smile. "Whenever it is suitable for you, I'd like to have a conversation. I know you don't speak, but that pen and notepad you're carrying suggest you can write." She requested.
"Sorry, Katie. You'll have to wait for your exclusive." Vagatha interjected as she and Alastor approached. "We need to wait for Charlie and Azrael. They're currently in Heaven." She informed.
"In...Heaven?..." Katie questioned with widened eyes. "Does that mean another member of Charlie's family will join us?" She asked.
As if on cue, a portal appeared in the lobby. Its color, even for Katie, indicated who had created it. While she expected to see Charlie and her aunt come from the other side, she would have NEVER foreseen the identity of this mysterious person.
"Holy...shit..." Katie muttered in disbelief.
Truthfully, that is what everyone, except Doomguy, thought when the entity moved through the rift. Their body glowed with the radiance of the Divine. Their presence instilled a sensation of serenity within everyone's souls. Their power could very well be on par with that of the space marine in their company!
"Oh! You guys got back before we did." Charlie acknowledged once she saw that they were all gathered. "That's good. Now we'll only need to do one introduction. This, if you couldn't tell, is my Uncle Gabe! Officially known as Gabriel, the Archangel of Justice!" She revealed with a proud grin.
"Hello, to all of you." Gabriel greeted the group. His voice was deep and strong. "As my Niece stated, I am Gabriel. My position, apart from the Angel of justice, is the judge of Creation. However, I do not wish for that to be an issue. Please, speak to me as you would anyone else. There is no need for formalities or a general change in your behavior." He said.
As all eyes were fixated on Gabriel, no one noticed the arrival of another Divine person. Which, as expected by Charlie and Azrael, he took personally.
"Ahem!" Michael cleared his throat, hoping to get some attention himself. "I, too, am here!" He announced while moving to stand beside his Brother. "Hello. My name is Michael. I'm one of God's children as well. I'm also Charlie's Uncle. It's a pleasure to meet all of you." He said.
"Huh..." Angel Dust made a noise, the first to make any response to the introductions. "So...one's a twink, and the other's a twonk." He said.
"ANGEL!" Charlie exclaimed as her eyes widened and an embarrassed blush consumed her face.
"What? It's not like we're all not thinking it." Angel Dust argued as he pointed at her Uncles. "On the right, you've got a MAN'S man of a man. On the left, you've got Lucifer two-point O." He stated.
"Holy shit! You're right! I thought he looked familiar!" Cherri exclaimed, now realizing who Michael reminded her of. "Dude, are you Lucifer's twin or something? Seriously, you're, like, a taller version of him." She commented.
"Aw, thank you," Michael replied with a smile, somehow flattered by that statement. "Our Father let us choose our appearances. I liked Luci's so much I wanted to copy it. You'd think he'd take it for the compliment that it is, but he's always seemed so annoyed by my choice." He explained.
"Ahem." Gabriel cleared his throat, hoping to restore order. "I don't mean to stop your conversation, but we need to refocus on the pressing matter that has resulted in this most unusual gathering." He said as he moved his gaze to one particular individual. "And I believe you would be the best person to help us do so. The mysterious man in the green armor." He added.
Upon being addressed, Doomguy walked forward. When he stopped, he stood as close as he could to Gabriel without awkwardness. Everyone watched for the next full minute as the two silently observed the other. The fiery blue eyes of the Archangel stared without falter into the visor of the space marine.
"...Hmph, I see," Gabriel spoke.
"See...what?" Michael questioned, voicing the confusion everyone felt when he said that.
"This man is of great character. That much can be discerned." Gabriel informed the others.
"And...you know that...from a staring contest?..." Michael pressed.
"Michael..." Gabriel sighed, finally closing his eyes. He also moved a hand to where his face would've been inside his cloak as if he were grasping it. "Please, I beg of you, tell me you haven't forgotten one of my eyes' many abilities..." He requested.
"...I'm sorry." Michael apologized, deciding that was better than attempting to lie.
"Oh...by our Father's name..." Gabriel muttered. "Azrael, could you please enlighten our clueless sibling? Since your eyes have power like mine." He requested.
"...I'm sorry too." Azrael apologized.
For a moment, Gabriel was speechless. This revelation was of a greater worry than anything else. That included this business of the second Hell.
"Um, Uncle?" Charlie chimed in. "If you'd like, I could explain it. I know what you're referring to." She offered.
"You do?/You do?" Azrael and Michael asked simultaneously.
"Charlie, you've just become my favorite family member," Gabriel told his Niece. Managing to make her happy and DEEPLY emotionally wound his Brother and Sister.
"Thank you!" Charlie exclaimed before proceeding, assuming that was also the go-ahead. "As my Uncle mentioned, his eyes have many properties. One of them, most likely the one he wants me to tell you all, is the ability to assess a soul's qualities. Keep in mind the characteristics of a soul are not the same as the details that define a person's identity and personality. A simple way to summarize this is to say that it is the soul's behavior. As an example, look at me. If my Uncle used this ability on my soul, he'd say I'm cheerful, optimistic, friendly, etc. So, in conclusion, when he says that Doomguy is of great character, that is generally what he's referring to." She explained.
"Ah! That makes sense." Alastor responded. "Of course, the Judge of Creation would need to be able to do such a thing! If someone tries to deceive him by presenting a false image of themselves, he can easily see past it!" He said.
"Yes. You are correct, good sir." Gabriel confirmed with a nod. "And, just so there's no uncertainty as to what I am specifically speaking of regarding the man who stands before me, I will list the qualities I have been able to determine. This man is selfless. Courageous. Fearless. Driven. Honest. However, he also undoubtedly possesses the most rage I've ever seen in a soul. He may appear relaxed right now or perhaps not on guard to us. But I can assure everyone that a fire burns within him. One so intense and powerful I have nothing to compare it to. Not even the fires of the Hell we know can contest. He's also incredibly private and preferable to simple, direct actions and speech. That is all I can say at this time. For that was all I could gather from such a brief examination." He told them.
"Damn. I wish we had you earlier. Could've saved us a LOT of trouble." Husk commented with a whistle.
"Oh? Did something happen?" Gabriel inquired.
"Nope! Nothing at all! Don't mind, Husk, he's always drunk!" Charlie quickly replied. When she did, Angel Dust swiftly smacked the Hellcat upside the head. "Anyway, moving on, it's good to see you two getting along so fast!" She exclaimed.
"I wouldn't go that far." Gabriel denied as he looked back at Doomguy. "We're both suspicious of each other. That is expected since we've just met. However, apart from your character assessment, the fact that my beloved Niece trusts you and feels safe in your presence speaks volumes. She does not have eyes like mine, yet her perception is as good. So, unless I learn something that'll make us enemies, I think there is a possibility we'll become allies soon." He stated.
In reply, Doomguy gave the Archangel a thumbs up in agreement. Amazingly, this made him laugh.
"I'm glad to see we're of the same mindset," Gabriel said. "Now then, shall we proceed to the enlightenment? There's much we still don't know." He suggested.
"Before we do that, there's someone else we need to go see," Charlie responded. Unexpectedly, she sounded slightly timid.
"Ah. So, you haven't told him yet." Gabriel realized, easily figuring out who she referred to. "Admittedly, I'm flattered you came to Michael and me before him." He confessed.
"...OH!" Michael exclaimed, realizing it a few seconds after his brother. "You haven't told your Dad, Charlie?" He asked, only to immediately answer his question. "Although...I suppose that does make sense. I love Luci, but he's got a hothead. And I know you two have had some discourse lately." He said.
"Discourse is putting it lightly." Azrael chimed in with folded arms. Even now, the mere mention of Lucifer was enough to annoy her.
"Easy," Gabriel told her, not wanting the conversation derailed. "I assume your reasoning for coming to us first is because we'd listen to everything you had to say. Whereas your Father might've had some...reservations." He guessed, trying to be polite to his Brother.
"Exactly. Plus, if we have you and Uncle Mike accompany Auntie Az and me, it'll have a LOT more credibility." Charlie replied.
"True. He might ignore your words due to the tension Michael mentioned. As well as him and Azrael's, at present, strained relationship." Gabriel agreed. "Alright. Then it's settled. We'll go and speak to your Father and Mother with haste. Then we'll return here to receive more information." He decided.
"I couldn't have said it better myself, Uncle Gabe," Charlie responded with a smile.
With their next course of action figured out, Gabriel opened a portal that would take them straight to the Magne estate. Afterward, he, Charlie, Azrael, and Michael departed, leaving everyone else in the lobby to wait for their return. Which, unknown to the four that left, was perfect. Because it gave a certain reporter her ideal opportunity.
"So...Doomguy," Katie spoke as she approached the space marine again. "While the children of God are having their little get-together. Would you mind sitting down with me for an interview?" She asked.
"Wow. Wasting no time, huh?" Angel Dust inquired, honestly impressed by her confidence.
"What else am I supposed to do? Twiddle my thumbs and WAIT for answers? Not my style." Katie replied.
"She has a point." Cherri joined in. "However, if we're going to keep talking, we should get some food, snacks, and beverages. I am fucking STARVING." She said.
"A splendid suggestion!" Alastor agreed. "It's been hours since our last meal. We can't continue these heavy conversations on empty stomachs!" He exclaimed.
"Hold on, if we're getting food, we're not going to make a mess of the kitchen. So don't go running in there and rummaging through everything." Vagatha told them, acting as the responsible one.
"Okay, Mom." Angel Dust and Cherri sarcastically responded before hurrying into the dining hall, which led to the kitchen.
"Hey! Don't make me get my spear!" Vagatha shouted as she chased after them.
Alastor and Katie followed at a leisurely pace since they weren't in a hurry. That left Doomguy, Nifty, and Husk as the only ones still in the lobby. When they were gone, the silent soldier slowly turned to look at the feathered feline.
"Yeah, this shit happens constantly. It's the norm around here." Husk informed him as Doomguy came to the front desk.
"Mhm. Can confirm." Nifty chimed in. Even after ALL this time had gone by, she was still sitting on Doomguy's shoulders.
"Nifty, what the fuck are you still doing up there?" Husk asked, amazed that Doomguy wasn't bothered by it.
"I feel tall. It's nice." Nifty answered before looking down. "And he doesn't have any issues, do you?" She inquired.
In reply, Doomguy shook his head. Frankly, she could stay up there forever with how nice and clean she made his equipment. He was even considering making her a permanent companion. Sort of like a squire or something to that effect.
"Yay! Thank you." Nifty said with a giggle as she hugged his helmet. This could very well be the giddiest Husk had ever seen her.
"Heh, just warning ya, this doesn't help to maintain your scariest badass in all Creation look," Husk commented with a smirk. "Say, you want a drink?" He asked.
In response, Doomguy shook his head again.
"Eh, figured. But I thought I should still be polite." Husk admitted as he turned around to get himself a bottle from the wall.