Welcome, welcome, welcome!

The last three chapters have been a lot of Ella, so in this chapter, we finally get Alex's POV again!

I'm going to post the next chapter this weekend, as I wrote it simultaneously with this chapter. However, after that, updating will become much less frequent, as I have PSATs, tons of homework, and a lot of competition stuff coming up. I also have to split what little free time I have between this and the big bang, which has an actual deadline. I will update when I can, but the chapters won't be coming in as quickly as usual.

Disclaimer: Alex Rider belongs to the OG, Anthony Horowitz

Chapter Eight: Welcome to Womanhood

Alex:

An alarm blares in the smallest bedroom of a modest Chelsea home.

Alex Rider groans as he rolls over, shutting off his alarm clock. He has no motivation to wake up today. It's Thursday, the day of his lovely chats with Mrs. Tulip Jones. This will be the third week in a row he'll have the pleasure of discussing his subconscious with Tulip. The first session ended badly. It lasted about 10 minutes. After eight straight minutes of the two parties just staring each other down, Jones had asked her employee the root of his psychological issues, to which Alex dryly responded "MI6." When asked to expand upon his answer, he said, "You have files. Start on John Rider, before making your way to Helen, and then Ian, before finally starting on mine. I'm sure you'll find something," and promptly got up and left her office.

The second meeting hardly went any better. Mrs. Jones had brought Ben in with them, to see if a third, more neutral party would help Alex to open up. This, however, backfired, as Alex didn't want Ben to learn about his past. The last thing that the teenage spy needed was for another person to be on his case about his family and Scorpia.

Alex got ready slowly. He didn't want to get to the Royal and General bank any earlier than he had to. College starts soon he realized, Then, I'll only have to go to the bank for mission assignments. Thank god…

An hour later, Alex is standing in front of the bank, considering the large sidewalk discoloration in front of him. He didn't much care for the front entrance, as this was where he had gotten shot. He was glad that in a week's time he wouldn't be forced to walk through it regularly. He took a deep breath and walked inside.

He clicks the elevator button labeled 13, unlucky, he realizes and nods at another agent whom he vaguely recognized.

He trudges from the elevator to his office. Thankfully, his clearance level is high enough for him to have his own office, as we would have hated sharing.

For the past three days, Alex has been writing detailed descriptions of his missions for Tulip to put in his file. As the clock ticks closer to 3:00, Alex is writing the mission in which he infiltrated the Snakeheads and Major Winston Yu, and an evil idea begins forming in his mind.

He takes the elevator down to Smithers' room. The man had decided to come back to his old job after a 6-month Caribbean vacation and was back in his fat suit.

"Mr. Smithers," Alex announced, wryly.

"Alex, old bean, how can I help you? Jones didn't tell me to prepare anything for you today."

"No, I'm here on my own accord. See, I'm mad at Tulip and her bullshit therapy sessions. I don't have the patience today to deal with her. So, what I'm thinking is we get back at her through a good old-fashioned prank." Alex winks.

"Hmmmm," Smithers considers, before a wide smile appears on his pudgy face, "Yes, I see. Anything, in particular, you have in mind?"

"Remember when you…" Alex says, outlining his downright disgusting plan to the gadget master.

Thirty minutes later, with a cardboard box in hand, and a gas mask on his face, Alex got to work. This plan was the perfect mix of harmless and downright nefarious. Luckily for Alex, the legitimate part of the bank had a different ventilation system than the MI6 part of the bank. He didn't want the actual bankers and customers to get hurt in his prank against MI6. He takes the elevator up to the 12th floor, where all of the lower-level agents work. He goes to a secluded part of the hallway, and, standing on a chair, begins unscrewing the vent cover. Alex had remembered back in Thailand when Smithers had mentioned vomit-inducing incense. Alex figured that this would put the "bank" into enough disarray to allow him to go home for the day without his impromptu therapy session with the one and only Tulip Jones. If his plan worked properly, the incense would travel throughout the "bank's" vents, causing everyone to throw up.

He was thankful that Smithers had two gas masks in his office. It wouldn't be pleasant if either he or his only ally in MI6 also threw up.

He had just lit the incense when blaring loud alarm bells go off. Three men in biohazard suits similar to the ones he, Sabina, Cray, and Yassen had once worn, stormed him. Two of them grabbed Alex by the arms and legs, while the third attempted to put out the incense. It was too late, however, as Alex already heard retching noises from the room next door. He smirked at the thought. The two men holding Alex dragged him up the stairs and into the office of MI6's ever-lovely leader. She looked pissed. Across from her was a girl who looked just a little younger than he was. Her legs were crossed, and she was resting her feet on Jones' desk.

"We just caught this degenerate burning incense into the vents. We fear he's trying to poison the entire office. Do you know who this is?" One of the men holding Alex demanded.

Mrs. Jones groaned. "Yes, Mr. Robertson," she says, addressing the man who had spoken, "Leave him here. You two are dismissed. Crawley, follow them." The men left her office. "And you," she growled, turning to Alex, "Sit down. You have some explaining to do."

Alex sat down next to the mystery girl. He was just about to defend himself, when he was interrupted by the girl swinging her feet off of Jones' desk, leaning over Jones' trash can, and throwing up into it. She stands up and wipes her mouth with a tissue from the box on Jones' desk. "What the hell was that?" she asks, clearly puzzled, "What's going-" Her little monologue is interrupted by Jones grabbing the same trashcan, and performing a similar action. "What's going on?" The girl demands, "Why is everyone throwing up? And why," she questions, turning to Alex, "Are you wearing a gas mask? Did you just poison us? Who the hell are you?" she demanded, inching closer to Alex. She looked about ready to snap and kill him. Alex looked up at her. Despite the snarl on her face, the girl was actually kind of pretty, the raw, natural kind of pretty that she was born with, but wasn't trying to emphasize. She had long brown hair, tied back in a braid that rested on her right shoulder, and mesmerizing, piercingly bright green eyes. She spoke in a slow and intimidating manner as if she knew she was in charge. She sounded distinctly American, but there was something in her accent that Alex simply couldn't place. German, maybe? It smoothly weaved its way in and out of her voice, increasing as she got more passionate and emotional. Alex could feel the authority and control radiating off of this girl, despite her being almost 20 centimeters shorter than him.

"Well," Alex starts.

However, he is interrupted by a fuming Tulip Jones. "What the hell, Alex, what did you do? You didn't poison the building, did you?" She looked a little nervous, as if she was scared of what she created.

"I thought you said you'd swear less," the girl mumbled, flippantly at Tulip, a smirk on her face.

Mrs. Jones ignored her. "Alex," she demands.

The spy just rolls his eyes. What a scene this is. A girl, standing over him, fuming; Tulip Jones, who is failing miserably to hide her terror; and a trashcan full of two people's vomit. "Well," he begins, trying to match the girl's nonchalance at Tulip, "I didn't poison anybody. I just used one of Mr. Smithers' gadgets, that's all." He tried his level best to sound innocent.

"Can you expand on that?" Tulip demands, clearly impatient.

"Of course, anything for you, Tulip," he says smoothly. He notices the girl trying to hide a smile at Jones' name. "Remember the incense from Thailand?"

Jones sunk back in her chair, annoyed at the nuisance that this situation had become. Now that she had learned that the situation was just a harmless prank, she was less scared but considerably more annoyed. "Really, Alex? What made you think that this was a good idea? Are you insane?"

"Well, you seem to think so, Tulip," Alex remarked.

Realization dawned on Tulip, "No. Alex, no. You did not light that wretched incense just to get out of our conversation." Her accusation was met with only a smirk. "Alexander John Rider, you are a liability!" Tulip roars. Alex had never seen this side of her before. However, he was even more nervous when he saw a downright evil smirk appear on her face. "Alex, meet fou-"

"Ella," the girl, who finally has a name interrupted, quickly, "My name is Ella."

"Yes, right," Tulip recovers, "Alex, meet Ella, your new partner."

"What?" Ella demands, whipping around to face Tulip, "First you blackmail me into your stupid contract, and now you're assigning me a partner who TRIED TO KILL ME," She roars. Alex tenses up. This girl could be scary.

Tulip chuckles, humorlessly, "Alex didn't try to kill you, Ella, he has no idea who you are. The vomiting thing was just a prank, directed at me. You two should be fine to work together."

"Tulip, who even is this girl? I don't...what does she know? What are we partners for?"

Mrs. Jones grins evilly, popping another peppermint into her mouth a "Yes. Yes, this is perfect, actually. You guys are one in the same, and you don't even know it," She says, cryptically.

Ella considers this for half of a second before speaking. "Wait," she said, pointing at Alex, "You're MI6's child agent!"

Alex is 50% confused, 50% curious, and 100% scared-shitless. "What? Who are you?"

"I'm you," Ella says, simply, "If you were female and American."

Alex is still puzzled and tired of Tulip and Ella's cryptic nature. "What? What does that even mean? Who are you?"

Ella sits back down, arrogantly. She swings her feet purposefully back onto Jones' desk. It was clear that she enjoyed being in charge. "I'm Ella Cornell," she projects, slowly and clearly, and with a smirk on her face, "And you're Alex Rider, and we're in the same situation."

This gave Alex no new information, except for the girl's last name. He is still confused and yearning for more information. "Could you please explain to me what the hell is going on?" He says, through clenched teeth.

"One minute," the girl promises. Turning back to Tulip, she says "Mrs. Jones, I need my phone back. I'd like to call my boss to know what information I can divulge. Otherwise, I'll be forced to escape, and neither of us wants that." She was calm, cool, and collected. Power and control radiate off her. She said it with enough of a dangerous lilt in her voice, that Tulip warily complies. Alex was amused by her nonchalance with Tulip. Her complete lack of fucks to give really reminded him of himself, especially when he was younger. Alex still had no idea who this girl was, but it was easy to tell that she had experience. Experience, and balls.

Tulip nods and pulls out an iPhone from her desk drawer. Handing it to Ella, she points her into the direction of an empty conference room.

40 minutes later, Ella returns to Tulip's office. "Great to see you again," Alex mumbles, sarcastically. He felt as bored as he looked

"I'm good," Ella tells Jones and Alex, cryptically, "My boss knows about everything.".

"Are you going to give me any information about yourself at all? Because it seems unfair that you know so much about me, and I only know your name." Alex was getting sick of Ella's cryptic bullshit.

"All in good time, Alex," Ella was truly a master at giving answers-that-weren't-really-answers.

Jones just nodded and began to explain the mission. "You two are going to be sent, as mission partners to Austin, Texas."

"Texas?" Ella interrupts, "Shouldn't this be a CIA job, then? It is America, after all."

"This man we are investigating, Todd Eldridge, is a British citizen, and has been in our attention for a few years now," Tulip explains, "Anyways, he is now the principal of Truman Elementary School. In this particular school, seven children have up and vanished in the past two months. The parents are freaking out, and pulling their children from school. While it may just be your run-of-the-mill serial killer, it's too coincidental that they're all from the same school. Additionally,-"

"Jesus Christ, another child sex ring," Ella says under her breath.

Alex looks over at her, feeling concerned about this girl's well-being. What did she mean by another child sex ring, he thought, and what happened with the first one? Who the hell even is this girl, because she has clearly been through some shit? "Um, Ella, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she says, not really answering the concerned spy's question.

"Anyways, if you'd be so kind as to stop interrupting me, here at MI6, we don't believe in coincidences."

Alex suppressed a snort. "Yeah," Alex mumbles pointedly, "Unless they involve international pop stars." He was, quite obviously, referring to Damian Cray, and the almost-disaster known as Eagle Strike.

Jones ignores him. "I'm sending you too undercover to investigate the school. You're a little young, but some makeup and the right outfit will age you both a couple years. Alex, you'll be undercover as a 4th-grade teacher, and Ella, you'll be undercover as a secretary."

"Wow, Tulip, sexist much?" Ella asks her, defiantly, "Make the woman be the secretary, why don't you. I want to be a teacher, too."

"We need to have someone stationed near the principal's office," Jones sighs, "Just, please, cooperate with me."

"You wanted me to work for you, Tulip," Ella rebukes, "I'll sit down and shut up for the rest of your little spiel, as long as I can help with Alex's and I's covers. I always did back at the, um, my former occupation, and I was damn good at it." Her voice was daring Tulip to say no. Alex was confused, though increasingly more intrigued, by Ella.

Mrs. Jones sighs. "Fine, but only if you shut up for the rest of my speech." Ella seems to agree to this, as she does stop talking.

"What do I get out of this, Mrs. Jones?" Alex asked, innocently, his eyes wide. He's just screwing with her because he wants to see her squirm.

"You get a regular paycheck, Alex, now please, let me speak." She takes a deep breath. "You two will be investigating Todd Eldridge and his shady elementary school, and you will be reporting back to us on your findings. We don't know what is going on with these children going missing, but we are determined to figure it out. Any questions?"

"No, ma'am," Alex said, politely.

Ella clearly does. She begins protesting her role in the mission. Deja vu, Alex thinks. "Yes. Now that you have him, do you even need me anymore? Can't Alex just complete this mission while I go back to school?"

Alex snorted and began to cackle. This was truly one of the funniest, most ironic things he'd ever heard."You really think," he said, wheezing, "That Tulip gives a singular shit about your schooling? When I was 14, I missed more school than I attended because of MI6."

Tulip ignores Alex's outburst, much to his dismay. "We have a contract, Ella. You signed it."

"Yeah, that's a bullshit contract. I could sic the CIA on your asses. Is that what you want?" Wait, CIA? Alex thinks, glad to finally have some information about this mystery of a girl.

"Wait," Alex interrupts, "You're CIA?" Ella nods. "Do you know a Mr. Byrne?"

"Yeah, I've seen him around," she says, casually. Mrs. Jones snorts. Obviously, this girl knows more than she's willing to say. "So, anyways Tulip, would you like to feel the wrath of the entire CIA? I could get them to take you fuckers down, no questions asked. You know who's in charge over there," Ella threatens.

"Yes, Ella," Jones says, cooly, "But what about your suitcase?" Suitcase? Alex wonders.

"What do you mean?" Ella demands. Clearly, Tulip had struck a nerve with her. Intentionally.

"You know, that little suitcase that Crawley found under your bed. Well, you can refuse to work for us, but we keep the suitcase. If, however, you choose to go to Texas with Alex and complete the mission, it's all yours."

"That is blackmail!" Ella yells back.

"That never stopped Jonesy before," Alex says flippantly. He wondered what exactly this suitcase contained. Something incriminating, obviously.

"Which will it be, Ella?"

"Fine," Ella says, randomly and fluidly switching into a Southern drawl, "Guess I'll see y'all down in Texas."

Jones smiles, very pleasantly. However, it appears to Alex as though she is baring her teeth. "Very well. You have until tomorrow to work with MI6 to develop yours and Alex's covers. After that, since you aren't flying to Texas for another three weeks, you two will go up to Wales for more training. Specifically, the Brecon Beacons for SAS training."

"Tulip, what the bloody hell!?" Alex explodes, "That's some Alan Blunt shit right there." He was not about to go back to the Brecon Beacons and be bullied. Again. And he definitely wasn't going to subject Ella to the same horrible treatment he had to endure.

"A great leader," Tulip says, just to spite him.

"Tulip, let me remind you, that I set a man on fire because he tried to rape a complete stranger. Just imagine what will happen if I'm the victim," Jesus Christ, Alex thinks, She did what? That's equally badass and empowering. And terrifying too, if you're a rapist.

"I'm sure you'll be fine, Ella, you have years of training, and Alex here to protect you." She said, nonchalant. Alex froze. He didn't want Ella to get hurt, but being forced to be her bodyguard? He felt as though Tulip was patronizing the both of them.

Ella's bright green eyes filled with fury and rage. She glanced at Alex as if asking his permission to go off on Tulip. Alex nods, not wanting to get in her way. "I DON'T NEED A MAN FOR PROTECTION!" she screams, "What I need is to not put myself in the middle of another goddamn testosterone-filled army camp. What I need is for you to not disregard my safety and well being. Is that how you treat all of your agents? You literally just discounted my fears of being sexually assaulted, and put the onus of my protection on Alex. You treat him like shit, by the way. Anyways, how can you call yourself a woman when you treat me like that! I cannot believe you. In the CIA, my health and safety were always put first. You call yourself the 'good guys,' but you can't even offer the people you blackmail into working for you the basic feeling of health and safety! This is complete and utter bullshit, Mrs. Jones." Ella is upset, and Alex understands. Though he's never dealt with the struggles of being a woman in the world of espionage, as Ella has, he can at least respect that there is a struggle.

"You're right," Mrs. Jones sighs, "That was really insensitive of me. I, unfortunately, do still have to send you, though, because MI6 legally requires army work before employment."

"First of all, this is blackmail bullshit that we can sweep right under the table. Second of all, I am technically a Green Beret, so I have army experience," Ella protests. Alex racked his brain, before remembering that the Green Berets were sort of like America's SAS.

"British army service, and besides, after the whole Alan Blunt scandal, using underage agents," Alex shudders at the memories as they come rushing back to him, all at once, "We have to be completely clear and transparent with the rest of the government." Bullshit, Alex thinks. Tulip is definitely still tricking this girl, but it's obvious that Ella will never win this argument.

"So I have no choice in the matter," Ella groans. Tulip shakes her head.

"I can, however, give you your own separate sleeping quarters and bathroom," She offers.

"Yes. Throw in the video footage of me setting that prick on fire, and the permission to murder anyone who intends to inflict harm on me, and we have a deal."

She raises an eyebrow. "Deal, but try to save murder as a last resort. These men have been vetted, and it is likely that nothing will happen to you. However, your safety is first, because the entire CIA will truly bring down a shitstorm if anything happens to you. Use your judgment, Ella." Alex was quite frankly a little bit terrified of Ella's judgment, but he kept those thoughts to himself.

"Deal," Ella and Jones shake hands. Alex feels frazzled about what just happened. "Welcome to womanhood," Ella says, sarcastically, "It's a wonderful place." Alex can only nod. He is clearly intimidated by Ella and her sheer force of will.

Ahaaaa they finally met up! Is this anything like you expected?

Also, BIG NEWS! We are planning an Alex Rider big bang! For news, updates, signups, and information, follow alexriderbigbang on Tumblr!