Chapter Thirteen: Memories

Shadow curtly thanked the Squirrel family for having him over for the afternoon and announced he would be leaving. He began to walk towards the front door when Douglas latched onto his arm and planted his feet pulling Shadow backwards toward the house's interior.

"Please don't go Mr. Shadow!" Douglas begged.

"Listen, I've got to go now. I've stayed longer than I should have." Shadow said as he slowly dragged the child along with him across the house.

"Please. Won't you at least stay for dinner?" Douglas said, his eyes begging for Shadow to stay.

It was a look that caused Shadow to pause. A look that Shadow had seldom seen. A look that both Cream and Maria had given him in very different circumstances but containing the same undeniable meaning.

Both times Shadow had not been viewed as a simple weapon, a soldier, nor even the ultimate life form. It was a look that begged Shadow, pulling and tugging at his depths, saying… Shadow, I believe in you.

Shadow stared at the endearing child, nearly caving in to his demand.

Nearly…

"I can't. I'm having dinner with someone else and I need to be leaving now. I'm late enough as it is."

Shadow continued walking and by extension, stubbornly dragging Douglas along with him. Shadow stopped as he got to the door and physically pried his arm free with his spare hand.

Douglas stood pouting, staring at Shadow, silently pleading with those damn eyes.

"I have to go. I'll stop by and visit again sometime." Shadow said as he began to slowly, very slowly, close the door behind him as Douglas peered through the ever shrinking gap in the slowly closing door.

"Mr. Shadow?" Douglas said through the crack of the nearly closed door.

Shadow let out a sigh and opened the door slightly to better see and hear Douglas, "What is it kid?"

"Could you come again another day and stay forever?"

Shadow stopped and froze at those words and thought to himself, "Maria, is this the kind of person you wanted to find on earth? The people you knew that made humanity and the world worth saving? The people you wished for me to give a chance to be happy?"

Shadow chuckled and looked away from the partly open door toward the setting sun. The sun was bright and hurt his eyes making them water.

Shadow turned back to face Douglas and checked the time on his smartwatch as he blinked away some liquid that had formed after staring at the sun, "I… you know what? I can stay for a little longer. My meeting can wait."

At hearing those words Douglas's face lit up with joy. He grabbed Shadow's gloved hand and ran with him back inside, "Mom! Dad! Shadow said he could stay for a little while longer!"

After Shadow had visited for a half hour more, Shadow finally closed the front door behind himself, but only after promising the family, and particularly Douglas, that he would visit again soon. He then got on his motorcycle and began his drive back to Central City.

Shadow was normally very proactive in managing his time, though today, Shadow had decided to make an exception. He was certain the Commander would understand.

Shadow pulled up to an affluent house in a gated community, the neighborhood had its own security detail, fortunately, Shadow was expected so it was no trouble getting through the checkpoint. Not that they'd pose much of an issue to a determined assailant, assuming the troublemaker did not sneak in. Shadow continued and drove down a winding path then arrived at the Commander's Villa. Shadow hopped off his motorcycle and knocked on the door.

A butler answered.

"Good evening Mr. Shadow, the Master of the house has been expecting you. If I might be so bold, would you care to freshen up in our facilities while I announce your arrival to the good Commander?"

"It's not a problem. I can go straight to see him."

"Sir, it's just, please forgive my bluntness, I do not want to see your visit diminished in any capacity, especially when I can offer the remedy. I speak only out of the utmost respect for the Commander and for you but I must not hold my tongue on this." The butler leaned down towards Shadow, cupped his hand to his mouth, and whispered, "You smell like a manure pit from a rural farm."

"Hmph, not surprising since I just left one."

"If you would follow me Mr. Shadow, I'll start a bath for you."

"Lead the way then."

After Shadow had taken a quick bath, he was taken to the dining room. Upon entering the room the tension was thick like a fog. It clung to the air, as several maids and butlers stood at attention waiting nervously. Opposite Shadow at the other side of the table sat the Commander and his wife, silverware and plates empty before them. Glasses and pitchers of water had made a pool of liquid underneath them from the condensation, the ice that fought to keep the beverages cold had long since melted away.

The Commander stood up from his seat, glared at Shadow then spoke, "There are very few people who would dare make me wait. Even fewer would have the balls to walk into my home after such an insult was made to my wife and I. It's a disgrace."

Shadow stood his ground, not saying a word. He simply stared unamused at the Commander.

"Well? Are you just going to stand there? What the hell do you have to say for yourself? Speak, Shadow The Hedgehog."

"I have two statements to make. One. I took a bath, so you should be thanking me. Two. You really should get out more. You've gained weight, you don't look like you're getting anywhere near enough exercise. It's bad for your health."

The Commander's Wife rolled her eyes and sighed, "I told you."

"Dear, not now." The Commander replied.

Commander's Wife poked her Husband in the ribs several times as she spoke up, "You two are acting like childish schoolboys. Last I heard you are both old Men, you of all people, Mr. Commander. You should act like it!"

The Commander grumbled but his Wife was not finished. "Shadow brings up a valid point, if your stubborn ass won't listen to me maybe you'll listen to Shadow."

The Commander furrowed his brows upon hearing his wife speak. "Dear. Not. Now. Not in front of our guest-"

"-You need to ride your bike and go on walks more often. It's the Doctor's orders."

Shadow grinned from hearing the exchange, "You're fighting a battle I don't think you have any chance of winning Commander. It would be wise to surrender."

The Wife grinned, then smiled. "Thank you Shadow, I always knew you were the wiser of the two."

"If I'm so lacking in wisdom," The Commander began, "How did I end up with such an amazing wife?"

"Don't try to flatter your way out of this one!" The Commander's wife folded her arms and smiled, "Luck, and your flattery won't fool me, I haven't forgotten your lack of exercise mister."

"Damn." The Commander said.

"It seems you've met your match." Shadow said with a grin.

The Commander gently grabbed and held his wife's hand, "It appears so. It's a good thing she's an ally and not my enemy. I know from experience how much trouble enemies can cause."

The Commander's Wife chuckled and rolled her eyes. "Ha, you've called me an enemy many times before-"

"-It was always in jest! You know this."

"Oh, do I? What if I am a spy, hmmm?"

"After thirty one years?"

"What do you have to say about that, Commander?"

"Well dear, all I can say is that I've learned that sometimes the best allies are former enemies. Wouldn't you agree, Shadow?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. My memory isn't what it used to be." Shadow said disingenuously.

The Commander's Wife smiled, "Good answer." She turned to stare at Shadow, "I heard that your memory has slowly been returning to you, especially after you went Super and defeated the Black Hand. I can't imagine losing my memory, forgetting those I cared for, what life I had lived."

"Now now dear, let's keep our conversation casual and veer off from… sensitive or classified topics."

"I know, I just wanted to tell Shadow, we're here if you ever need a friend. Dare I say, family. Ah, dinner is finally served."

Waiters and waitresses served lavish meals for the trio to eat and served wine to those who raised their wine glass.

"Thanks for the meal… and your words." Shadow said quietly.

"Thank you for joining us, Shadow. My husband speaks highly of you. You should see his enthusiasm. He talks as if you were childhood friends instead of recent enemies."

"As well I should." The Commander said as he cut into Wagyu beef and took a bite, washing it down with a sip of wine.

"What I don't understand," The wife said after finishing a bite of her food, "How were you two on the ARK but not friends. You both knew Maria did you not-"

Both Shadow and the Commander froze at the mention of Maria.

"-Dear, not now."

"It's fine." Shadow said.

After an awkward and tense pause, the Commander spoke up to the staff, "Leave us." After they filed out of the room after wishing the trio a good night, the Commander continued, "I just wanted to have a meal, where we could get caught up and not be weighed down by the past. However, if Shadow has no problem with it, and you have genuine questions, then for you my love, I would be happy to answer them, despite… despite the pain."

The wife delicately pushed her plate in front and gently dabbed her mouth with a napkin as she thought of what to ask and how to phrase her question. She stared at Shadow for some time then stared back toward her Husband, "Did you love her?"

"She was like a sister to me. I resented Shadow, once he came into being. My parents banned me from being with Maria if Shadow was with her, and he was always with her. I hated him for it. More than that he terrified me. I snuck into the ARK's central lab's observation room one day using my Father's ID card and saw Black Doom aiding Maria's Grandfather with the creation of Shadow. I thought nothing good would come from him." The Commander turned to face shadow and smiled, "I am glad to say I was fundamentally mistaken."

"If… if she lived, do you think you would have married her?"

Shadow listened intently.

"I don't know. All I know is I cared for her with all my heart, as I am sure Shadow did too and would agree that if Maria lived, she would have been one of the greatest humans to have ever walked the earth. She was such a." The commander felt a wave of emotions course through him, he cleared his throat several times before he could speak, "Words can't do her justice. She was such a… a good person. I truly believe she would have changed the world."

The Commander's wife took a huge gulp of her wine then gently put the empty glass down, as she continued to listen intently.

Shadow opened his mouth to speak, but nothing, no sound came out, as if speaking of Maria and that day was too much for him. After a moment Shadow recollected himself, "I… I was there when she was shot, I didn't know it at the time, I'm not sure if she knew she had been shot or if she didn't want me to panic but somehow we made our way to the escape pods. I… It should have been me. I should have been shot, not her. I was such a fool. I was the ultimate life form, near indestructible by conventional means, I could have taken several bullets and likely lived. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't hear that gunshot. See Maria bleeding out on the other side of the escape pods glass as she readies the launch sequence. I was so naive. I could have fought them. Killed them. I could have protected Maria. Yet, I ran away with her, hand in hand, like a coward. Some days I regret regaining my memories."

The Commander coughed, then spoke up, "You're too hard on yourself Shadow. You're not the only one with regrets. None of us knew the Ark would be attacked… or that G.U.N. would kill children to keep Project Shadow secret."

"My fault yet again."

"You damn idiot!" The Commander shouted. "When will you get it through your thick head that G.U.N. was evil. That your actions were a reflection of Maria's moral system. We were innocent children, we did everything we could with the knowledge we had. It's long past time we buried our regrets."

Shadow stared at a empty plate in front of him. Glaring at his reflection, "I can't do that."

"As a child, my therapist said you shouldn't blame yourself for things outside your control. Learn from it, sure. But don't let it control your life. Bury the past, reflect on it, honor it, but focus on the future."

"I can't. I'm not you. I can't bury my past so easily. Unlike you I could have done something. Unlike you I was there when she was dying. Unlike you, I was strong enough to save her, yet I ran away instead of staying and fighting. I-" Shadow got up from his chair, accidentally knocking it over. "...I'm going for a walk."

After a brief walk to collect his thoughts he returned to the kitchen and was directed by a security guard to the Commander's office. Upon entering the room, Shadow smelled smoke from a cigar and saw the Commander staring at a picture.

"What are you looking at, sir?"

The commander released a puff of smoke, "Don't be so formal. You don't need to call me Sir, or Commander."

"Would you rather I call you by your first name?" Shadow asked.

"... you're right, that would be weird." He extended the portrait to Shadow.

Shadow looked at the picture. It was a cute kid sitting on the Commander's lap hugging him. The Commander had a smile that was ear to ear. "Looks like a troublemaker." Shadow said.

The Commander chuckled. "He's my grandson. He's at the city's best children's hospital with some accursid disease." The Commander took another large inhale of the cigar before slowly breathing it out.

"I'm sorry." Shadow said, not being sure what to say.

"Don't apologize. It's not your fault and there is nothing you can do. He's a strong kid, his case is not hopeless… just precarious. I'm confident he'll pull through. I'm sure he will." The Commander took another puff of the cigar, then put it out on the ashtray.

Shadow handed back the portrait.

"This is why I do what I do." To protect the world. Keep people safe. It's why you do what you do, eh, Shadow?"

"... To give everyone a chance to be happy. Yeah."

"We do what we do." The Commander stood up, and walked over to the row of pictures on the wall. Filled with the pictures of countless people from dozens of countries he had served in as a member of G.U.N. "For them. We do what we do, for them."

Shadow walked over beside the Commander and stared at the pictures. The Commander looked much younger in the pictures. His eyes glimmered with the optimism of a man who believed in the good of humanity.

"We need to put Eggman down. For good. We're running out of missiles. We can't protect our flock forever. Sooner or later the Wolf picks off a straggler. We need to terminate him before can spill any more blood."

"I understand."

"I have an intel team working overtime to find him. It's been… difficult. Congress won't authorize us unless we can present a plan with overwhelming odds of success. Until then my hands are tied."

"Do you want me to…"

"No… no. We'll do this by the book. Sooner or later the Government will wise up. I just hope it's before the wolf has had its pound of flesh first."

"I hope so too."

"I'd like to send you in, when the time comes. If you are willing and able."

"It wouldn't be a problem."

"If you are sure you are okay with being the one. You are my best agent,after all. However, there are others I could send if-"

"-I said it's fine. Ivo Robotnik may be the cousin of Maria Robotnik. That fact changes nothing. If he refuses to surrender, and works against Maria's wish, then he will be dealt with. He will simply be another target."

"Forgive me Shadow, I do feel it should be you. Maria would want someone who would give him a chance for redemption before pulling the trigger. Maria would be so proud of you, Shadow. For everything you have done to protect the people of the world. Please don't forget that."

Shadow walked to the exit of the office to make his way home for the night.

"Good night Commander." Shadow said as he opened the door.

The Commander stood silently, "Good night, Shadow The Hedgehog."

"One more thing before I go." Shadow said.

"What's that?"

"Don't forget to exercise." With that said, Shadow exited the office, closed the door behind him, and made his way home.

Shadow had another big day tomorrow and needed all the rest he could get.

After all, he had a tea party tomorrow morning, and in the afternoon, he was going to teach a little bunny how to diffuse bombs.

As Shadow turned on his motorcycle's ignition, he smiled for but a second as a thought coursed through his mind…

Maria would have loved to join them.