Notes: Just read Nightshade Revenge, and there are definitely some things here that are no longer canon but that is okay! There are a few things I may incorporate into this story later, but I am not making any changes to what has already been written.
Chapter 20: Deranged Little Sitcom
Alex woke up to a knock at the door and an incoherent call from the other side. He opened his tired, bleary eyes slowly and began to take note of his surroundings. He was not in his hotel room. The room was painted a sage green. There were pictures of tulips and windmills, indicating to Alex that he had at least not left the country. The furniture was sparse, save for a dresser and an old wooden desk with a now empty litre of Jenever from the night before. That explains his headache and sore muscles. He then processed the fact he was in a bed–a queen with a lavender comforter, a pile of matching pillows, and Ella curled up next to him, waking up slowly.
"Goedemorgen," she mumbled, rubbing her eyes. The sun streamed in through the room's only window.
"Morning," Alex replied, "Where the hell are we? And what happened last night? Why are we in the same bed?"
"Do you seriously not remember?" Ella asked, sitting up against the headboard and pulling her legs into her chest. She was still wearing the black Velvet Underground t-shirt and some oversized green lounge shorts. Her messy ponytail from the night before was still in, though looking quite ragged by this point.
"I seriously do not."
"Well, to help you out a little bit, we're at my family's home–still in The Hague. As for my bed, you passed out here last night and I wasn't about to go sleep on the couch. Nothing happened–we just slept."
"Thank God for that," Alex sighed.
"Shtik drek," Ella mumbled.
"Say again?"
"Nothing," Ella responded, "How 'bout some breakfast?"
"Please," Alex responded, "I am so hungover."
"You really can't hold your liquor, can you?" Ella smiled, leading him into the kitchen.
Attached to the kitchen was a bar with three stools, two being occupied by an older couple drinking tea and reading a newspaper. Bowls of half-eaten oatmeal sat next to them. "Goedemorgen Oma en Opa," Ella greeted them, kissing them both on their cheeks. "My grandparents," she clarified to Alex.
"Morgen, Eljse," her grandfather said, eyes glued to his paper.
"Elsje, wie is deze jongen?" Ella's grandmother smiled, raising her eyebrows.
"Niemand!" Ella exclaimed, "Alex is mijn vriend van school."
"Ja, okay," her Grandmother teased. Ella clicked her tongue.
"Anyways, Alex, because the Dutch have the worst hangover food on planet Earth, sorry Oma en Opa, I will introduce you to an American East Coast Speciality Hangover Cure–the bacon egg and cheese on a bagel."
Ella's grandmother stood up. "Thee of Koffie, Lieve?" she asked Alex.
"Oma, he's English," Ella corrected her.
"My bad, coffee or tea?" she asked him again.
"Tea please."
"Ah! Elsje, this boy has good taste. Unlike you Amerikanen and your coffee."
"My coffee is delicious and it's one of the very few things America does actually do correctly," Ella grinned.
Ten minutes later, Alex and Ella are standing at the bar, eating their breakfast sandwiches and drinking their (coffee or tea) of choice. Ella's grandparents had gone outside to tend to their garden, leaving the pair alone once again.
"So what happened last night?" Alex asked Ella.
"All in good time, Alex, now eat your sandwich."
Half an hour later, the two were outside, going for a walk in the early morning Dutch sun. Alex was still nursing the worst hangover of his life. "I just don't get how you are unscathed from last night. I feel like I'm going to die," Alex grumbled.
Ella smiled widely, "Sorry I can hold my liquor." She was wearing light blue denim jean shorts that went just under halfway down her thighs. She had on a fitted white shirt covered with sunflowers, and a light olive green jacket. Her hair was braided down her back. Alex had lucked out that Ella's older brother, James, had left some clothes at their grandparents: he was wearing a borrowed light blue t-shirt and khaki shorts. Ella's grandmother had very sweetly put his clothes in the wash.
"You ready to tell me what happened last night? The last thing I remember was meeting your friends…"
After their shot of Jenever, Ella had grabbed the bottle in one hand, and Alex's arm in the other, leading him to yet another backroom of Thee en Zand. In it, he saw five people sitting around a table, each with a drink and a few baskets of fries on the table. The table was wooden and rectangular, with one short side pushed against the wall. "Follow my lead," she nudged him.
"Hallo team," Ella said, back in her Dutch accent, "I want you all to meet my friend, Alex," she said, finally letting go of his arm, "Alex, meet my crew. Crew, meet Alex. He speaks English, mostly."
A guy who looked several years older than the rest of the 'crew' stood up first. He was taller than Alex and looked intimidating in a long black trench coat and black jeans. He had tousled black hair, and a scruffy beard and mustache. "Cheers, Mate," he shook Alex's hand. The man was English! He spoke in a Cockney accent, and Alex immediately felt more comfortable.
"Cheers," Alex smiled back.
"An Englishman," the man observed, "And a posh one at that. Elsje, you have good taste in 'friends,'" he narrowed his eyes at her.
"He's just a friend, Ollie, a colleague even," she shot back. Alex noted his name.
"And you," Ollie said, turning back to Alex, "It's 'Oliver' to you. None of the rest of these shits get to call me Ollie 'cept for her. She's special, you know," Oliver made intense eye contact.
"Yessir," Alex said, looking him in the eyes. Oliver paused for a second, and then two.
"Good lad," he patted him on the back, "Now get a pint and come meet the others."
As promised, Alex was handed a beer. He sat next to Ella at the sticky wooden table. On her other side at the head of the table was Oliver. She took a swig of the Jenever before offering it to Oliver. "C'mon, you twat, that stuff is disgusting. You want a real drink and you'll drink some English whiskey. Until then, keep that away from me." Ella laughed and instead handed the bottle to Alex, who took a swig too. It went down a little smoother this time. "Alex, you're a much braver man than I," Oliver said solemnly.
Then, the others introduced themselves. On Alex's other side was a short Israeli girl named Noa. She looked to be about eighteen. She had long brown hair down to her waist and beautiful hazel eyes. Her hair was in a top knot, and she wore IDF military pants and a fitted brown t-shirt. She was fidgeting with the dog tags around her neck.
Across from Ella, on Oliver's other side was a young woman named Fenna, much closer to Oliver's age than Alex's. She was a classical-looking Dutch woman, with shoulder-length light blonde hair, brown eyes, and perfect teeth. She wore a grey hoodie that was way too big for her and black tights. By the way she leaned in when he spoke, Alex guessed that Oliver and Fenna were more than just friends.
On Fenna's left, across from Alex was a man about his height and age. His name was Tai, and he informed Alex that he was half Taiwanese and half French, the latter of which Alex could hear in his accent. He had fluffy black hair with a blonde streak at the front and black painted nails. He wore black ripped jeans and a clean-looking Stade Rennais FC jersey. He looked wholly uninterested in everything else that was going on and was literally sitting around and twiddling his thumbs.
Next to Tai was a blonde Russian man named Yuri. He had a chipped tooth on the left side of his mouth and icy blue eyes. He had a scar twisting down from his left ear to his neck. He spoke with a slight accent. He wore an oversized camouflage jacket. The whole group was strangely militant to Alex, as they appeared to reject the government. Yuri was typing furiously into a chunky laptop computer.
"So," Alex started, feeling a little uncomfortable, "Is this your book club, Elsje?"
She snorted, "Yeah, something like that. Mostly we're just playing the waiting game until someone messages us–that's Yuri's job. There have been a few rumblings of ex-Scorpia activity that we have been putting a stop to all week." Alex nodded.
The group sat around the table for a while, sipping on their drinks. It was mostly silent, save for Oliver and Yuri typing furiously, and Tai tapping his foot against the hardwood floor.
"It's time!" Yuri exclaimed suddenly, jumping out of his chair.
"Wait right here," Oliver instructed Ella and Alex, as he and the rest of the crew left through the room's only door, "I'll be right back."
Finally, Alex was able to pull Ella away for a moment. "How do you even know all of these people? And how did this little crew form?"
"Without divulging too much, Noa is an old friend. Ollie–he's a little older than me. He was actually trained by my dad in the past. He lived with us for a while and he's like my older brother. Fenna is his partner–she is ex-AIVD, which is like the Dutch CIA. If the 'Femme Fatale' trope was a real human person, it might just be her," Alex raised an eyebrow at that, "Yuri is an old connection of Ollie's–he's ex-KGB but is actually like, a decent guy. And Tai, uh, we met last summer on a job in France. Ollie and I assembled the Revengers just to keep an eye on things for the next week or so. The longer you hang around me, Alex, the more you'll come to find that my whole life is simply a rotating cast of characters–and congratulations because you're now one of them," Ella smiled sweetly. Despite it being very limited, Alex did appreciate a bit more background on Ella's deranged little sitcom.
Just then, the rest of Ella's crew came back into the room. Evidently, they had visited some type of arsenal. Alex noted that he was not trusted to visit it, and Ella was left behind to babysit him. He did not care, as he didn't trust anybody here either–only Ella on a particularly good day.
"Say, Alex," Oliver called out, "You can shoot?" Alex nodded. If Scorpia taught him one thing, it was how to hit a target. Oliver tossed him a semi-automatic machine gun equipped with a silencer. Things just got really real all of a sudden.
Oliver then handed Ella a pistol. "What the hell, Ollie? You know I can shoot better than half the people here."
"I'm not giving my little sister a machine gun," he hissed, "Besides, it's up to you to do all the talking here, and you don't need an even bigger target on your back." Ella scowled but took the pistol anyway. It felt weird, to Alex, to not be the one who was overlooked.
Yuri came around and handed everybody a small black earpiece and a bulletproof vest. He gave Ella a pair of Dutch military fatigues. "Okay team," he said with no trace of the Russian accent from earlier, "There's word of a rogue Scorpia cell taking over a restaurant filled with some of the personnel from the trial–we told them to keep a low profile, dammit. It's up to us to control the situation, save the hostages, and handle the Scorpia agents. Got it?" Everyone nodded, including Alex, who was already considering how he was going to "handle" the Scorpia agents. He expected his night to end with a nice stroll back to his hotel, not shooting up a restaurant. He sighed and followed everybody out to an SUV behind the bar.
Oliver and Fenna sat in the front, with Yuri and Noa in the middle row. Alex and Tai sat in the very back, with Ella in between them. She scowled. Alex was about to ask if she was okay, but Oliver took off driving, and it was perhaps the most chaotic driving Alex had ever witnessed.
Ella chuckled after seeing the fear in his eyes. She leaned over to whisper in Alex's ear: "I see you have not been enrolled in the John Cornell School of Driving Like a Lunatic. Allow me to take you for a lesson sometime," she winked, making Tai scowl.
"Yeah, I'm never getting into a car with you again," Alex declared. Ella looked hurt and spent the rest of the ride just reading something on her phone. Before Alex could say anything, they had already reached their destination.
The crew got out of the car, and Yuri had them huddled in a circle.
"Okay, team. Oliver, Noa, and I are the muscles. Stay close to us when you can. Elsje, I'm not saying to negotiate with terrorists, but you're our best bet for being able to communicate with them–I'm told they speak Italian. Tai, Fenna, you two keep the hostages safe. Alex, I don't know what you do but hold onto your weapon and don't get shot. Everybody ready?" The team nods, and Yuri breaks out a flask, tossing it back. He passes it around the circle to everyone. Once it's Alex's turn, he sips from the flask and it is the worst-tasting vodka he's ever tried. He coughs twice which garners a chuckle from the rest of the crew. Ella takes two sips without a problem and passes the flask off to Tai, who takes three, just to regret his choices immediately. He spits out the vodka onto the ground which earns him a shake of the head from Yuri.
"It's time," Oliver announced, leading the team through a back entrance of the restaurant, "Elsje, you're up." Ella just finished putting in a new pair of colored contacts–brown this time–and popped a retainer into her mouth.
With her pistol concealed in her waistband, Ella threw open the back door to the restaurant.
"Okay, this is coming back to me now, in bits and pieces. Was I really that far gone during a recon mission?" Alex questioned Ella. The pair were walking along the coast, and Alex was eternally grateful that Ella had an extra pair of sunglasses.
"Well, you weren't drunk at that point, though Yuri's flasks always do tend to pack a punch. Anyway, as I was saying, I opened the doors and assessed the situation. Everyone was looking right at me. All of the hostages were on one side of the room with their hands tied behind their backs and restaurant cloth napkins stuffed in their mouths. It was truly grotesque. They were guarded by three Scorpia agents, and the other two were threatening two of the witnesses from the trial. I cannot believe that these fools actually went out when we explicitly told everybody to lay low and just eat room service for a week or two."
"Wait, did you tell that to everyone at the trial?" Alex's mind was racing.
"Well yeah–we told the judge who passed on the information."
"But I'm a witness and was never told."
"And here you are, being scooped up by a rival agent," Ella flashed him a smile.
"It's just weird that Mrs. Jones encouraged me to go out even after hearing about potential threats."
"Listen, it's not my job to get inside the head of someone running an intelligence agency. It's my job to relay to you a story where I look like a badass. Anyways. I saunter into the room and everyone's eyes are on me. No one else has come in yet. So, I start speaking in perfect Italian…"
"Mi chiamo Elsje," Ella's voice boomed throughout the restaurant. Alex was stationed outside of the building, along with Oliver, Noa, and Tai. Yuri and Fenna had run inside the restaurant, and Alex was told to listen closely and wait for his cue. "And you," Ella continued in Italian, "Need to listen to me." The Scorpia agents all looked over to her. "Now, I have received word that the Dutch special forces are on their way here right now—"
"We're not scared of the cops, una bambina." One of the Scorpia agents sneered. He was completely bald.
"And neither am I, Imbroglione," Ella shot back. Alex made a mental note to ask her about this later, "I meant the army. I've been told they're on their way." The sneering agent's face went white.
"Who even is this girl," the brown-haired agent next to him demanded, "And how does she know this?"
Ella groaned. "Because I work for the Dutch army," she said first in Dutch and then in Italian. She even pulled out a military badge from her wallet, "I'm just a desk job—in fact, I took the call about you guys holding this restaurant hostage–but I want more. They won't let me do anything and they keep underestimating me. I can shoot, and I can speak four languages—Nederlands, Italiano, English, and Français, but still, they treat me like a child. I'm telling you this because…because I want to join you. I'm sick of being overlooked by the army. I want to work with people who can respect my skills and actually let me do something. You want proof I'm all in?" Ella challenged, "Well, you hear those sirens?" To Ella's credit, there were actually sirens in the distance, "I can hide you. Tell the army it was all a misunderstanding." The sirens were becoming louder.
"You don't have much time. Fenna! Come here," Ella called out, and Fenna quickly appeared from behind a wall that Alex couldn't see. Gone was her oversized hoodie. In its place was a very short black dress over her tights, and Alex could see a knife holstered to her lower calf. Coupled with five-inch black heels, a diamond necklace, and deep red lipstick, she was every bit the stereotype that Ella had described her as earlier, "This is my sister. Don't shoot her. She will lead you to our van. Drop the hostages and let's go," the sirens had to be right outside of the restaurant by now, and Ella's voice did not leave any room for discussion.
"Come on, boys," Fenna addressed the five Scorpia agents in sultry Italian, "Elsje is driving so I'll need to sit on someone's lap." This alone made the three Scorpia agents guarding the restaurant-goers to stand up. Of the other two, the brunette looked hesitant, and the bald man looked mad. The bald man shouted something to his men in Italian. While he was yelling, Fenna spun back around and left. The three men who got up to leave followed her quickly, ignoring their leader. In all the confusion, Tai had guided the hostages out a different side door of the restaurant, leaving only Ella, Fenna, and the two Scorpia agents inside of the restaurant.
"Alfonso!" the bald man snapped at the remaining (brown-haired) man, "You will stay here and help me finish the job."
"No boss," he said solemnly, "This isn't worth my life," he got up and walked out of the door, taking the same path Fenna just took.
The second he stepped outside of the restaurant, he fell to his knees. Noa was tucked away behind a tree and had shot him cleanly in the back of the head. His body joined three others, taken out by Oliver, Yuri, and Noa again. After Fenna had lured them outside, they were shot in the parking lot, before they ever knew what was going on. Alex stayed crouched behind a tree, breathing heavily. He was told to stay there as backup and was thankful he hadn't been needed. These were ex-Scorpia agents, sure, but Alex tried to maintain at least a shred of his humanity. There were better ways to achieve justice than—
"Schijt," Fenna exclaimed, "Elsje needs help." Fenna ran back into the restaurant, shoving a pistol between her breasts. Alex ran in behind her, pointedly ignoring Oliver, Noa, and Yuri moving the four Scorpia bodies.
"Sir, Sir," Ella was pleading in Italian, "The Dutch army is nearly here. You must let me save you."
"From everything you've said, una bambina, they should have been here by now. I hear sirens, but no army. You're lying," he spit in her face. The two were inches apart.
"Hey!" Fenna exclaimed, sauntering back into the room, while Ella wiped off her face with an oversized sleeve, "There's one spot left in the van, and you're in luck because it's with me,"
Fenna smirked at him. "C'mon, your men are waiting…and so am I." She took a step closer to him, now only a few feet away.
Alex was hiding behind a column, his gun loaded, ready to jump in.
"You have nothing I want, Puttana, I want her," he gestured at Ella.
"But, but," Fenna protested, "Elsje is a child! You want me," she declared, running her fingers across her collarbone, "I'm the pretty one."
The man spat at Fenna and shook his head. "I want her." He grabbed Ella by the shoulders, pulled her in, and kissed her. Hard. She tried to pull away but before she could do anything, she felt a splash of liquid and his body fell limp.
Ella looked down and saw she was completely covered in blood, from head to toe. The man's body lay limp right in front of her feet. She gagged and stumbled backward. Fenna was right there to catch her, and helped her into a chair. "Fenna, what…?" she whispered, shellshocked.
Alex came walking out from behind the column, still holding the gun he had shot the bald man with.
"Alex, that was you?" Fenna asked incredulously. He had been about twenty feet away from the action and had still hit the bald man perfectly in the head. Alex nodded. He walked up to Ella and kneeled in front of her, tucking a bloody strand of hair behind her ear.
"You okay?" he asked her softly.
Ella nodded slowly and started to gag. Alex grabbed an empty bread basket from the nearest table that Ella promptly threw up in.
When she was done, Alex found a cloth napkin and wiped her face. He grabbed another chair and sat across from her. She took a shaky breath. Then two. Then three. Finally looking him in the eyes, she whispered "You saved me."
"Of course I did," he smiled softly.
"Elsje, Fenna, Alex, we have got to go. Yuri said the cops are en route and we have to get the hell out of here," Oliver shouted from the entryway, taking a few steps into the restaurant, "What the fuck?" he exclaimed after seeing Alex sitting across from a vomit-and-blood-covered Ella and Fenna successfully moving the bald man's body out of the restaurant while in heels.
Fenna exhaled. "I'll catch you up later, Olls, now help me move this body. Alex," she directed, "Can you help Elsje into the van?" Alex nodded, "Sit next to her and tell Yuri and Noa to get into the backseat–she needs some air. We'll get her cleaned up at home."
"Can you walk?" Alex asked Ella.
"I–I'm not sure."
"Permission to carry you out to the car? Time does appear to be of the essence."
"Uhh, yeah. Okay. Just be careful." Alex nodded and picked her up, putting an arm under her knees and shoulder blades to avoid the blood and vomit all over her front. He walked slowly, careful not to hit her head against anything. When they got to the car, everyone else was already there.
"Let's go!" Oliver exclaimed. He peeled out of the parking lot before Alex even closed to van's door.
In minutes, they arrived back at Thee en Zand. "Everybody get the fuck out," Oliver announced, "Elsje and Fenna stay."
"Alex, stay too," Ella mumbled. It was the only thing she had said since getting in the van.
"We need people to stay at base," Oliver shook his head.
"Calm down. I'll stay," Fenna compromised, getting out of the vehicle.
"Fine," Oliver growled, and sped off again, once Noa, Yuri, and Tai climbed out of the van.
"What the hell was that about?" Oliver turned to look at Ella.
"Alex doesn't know the others and they don't know him. It's better for everyone to be around people they trust."
"And you trust him?" Alex was sitting so quietly as these two argued about him.
"Ollie, can we talk about this later? I'd really like to not fight with you while covered in Scorpia blood."
"Fine," he sighed. "Alex," he started, "We're heading to my flat to get her cleaned up."
"Yessir."
The trio drove for about five more minutes–much slower this time to Alex's relief. Once they got inside Oliver's third-floor apartment, Oliver handed Ella a towel and told her to "figure her shit out."
Oliver motioned to the seat on the couch next to him. "Sit." Alex listened. "What are your intentions with my sister?"
Alex sighed. "Literally nothing. We happened to be in the same city at the same time and she brought me to you."
"If you two are 'literally nothing' then why did you bridal carry her into the van?"
"Only way to not get blood and guts all over myself," Alex retorted as this was, in fact, the truth.
"How did you meet, and why have I never heard of you before?"
"Listen, man. I know you're protective of Ella, but I think you should have this conversation with her. There really is nothing to tell, but I think you'll take that better from her."
"Are you telling me what I think?" Oliver challenged.
Alex swallowed. "Absolutely not. But you have no reason to trust what I say. You have a baseline trust just because Ella brought me around. But she's not here now, so I can say whatever I want. And what I want is for you to hash this out with her because honestly? I'm tired."
"You're a tough read, Alex." Alex just nodded.
"I just know when things are or aren't my business."
Oliver considered this. "What do you do, Alex?"
"Whatever is funniest in the moment."
"Hilarious," Oliver rolled his eyes.
"I know. I can tell you, however, that my favorite color is blue and my favorite season is spring."
"Enlightening."
"I try."
The pair sat in a slightly awkward silence for the next ten minutes. It allowed Alex to check his phone, and as usual, there was nothing. He was not interested in social media, and the only people he texted regularly were Jack and Tom. The silver lining, however, was that there were also no texts from Mrs. Jones, meaning she hadn't noticed his absence. It was nearly 1:00 in the morning so he assumed she was asleep by now.
Finally, Ella returned. Her hair was twisted on top of her head in a towel and she wore the same clothes as earlier (the military fatigues had taken the entire blood/barf burden). The color had returned from her face, and her cheeks were rosy red. "Hey guys," she smiled, walking over to sit between them on the couch.
"You okay, Ella?" Alex asked.
"Yeah, I am. Just needed a little time. Thanks again for saving me," she smiled, "That shot was impressive I must say."
"Yeah that was fully instinct," Alex chuckled, "He grabbed you and I just reacted."
"And I appreciate it," Ella declared. Oliver cleared his throat.
"Alex, go sit outside. I need to talk to my sister." With that, Alex stood up and left. He sat in the hallway next to Oliver's front door, trying to listen in, but could not hear anything.
"Yeah, I now remember all of this. But we were still pretty sober here." Alex noted.
"Yeah, we were. And in case you don't remember me saying it, thank you again for saving me, Alex," she turned to him. The pair were now sitting on a wooden bench, watching the waves break off of the Dutch coastline.
"Ella, of course."
"Seriously. You don't seem like the type to just shoot, but you did that for me," she tapped Alex's knee with hers, "Just know that I appreciate it," she smiled at him.
"Noted," Alex smiled back, "Now can I ask what the hell you and Oliver talked about for twenty minutes?"
"Nothing really. He's convinced we're dating and kept trying to get me to tell him about you. Not that it's his business or anything, he's just being overprotective. My actual older brother and I aren't very close, so we got really close while he lived with my family. He's usually great, but let's just say my last relationship wasn't the greatest so he's a little on edge. Obviously, I gave him no inclination that we were together because that would be preposterous."
"Yeah," Alex laughed, "Your last relationship–the girl you told me about in London?" he asked, referring to Kyla Rhodes, Ella's late ex-girlfriend.
"Uhhh," Ella mumbled.
"Hey, no judgement. I'm just asking as your friend who wants to learn about you. And you can ask me anything you like in exchange," Alex promised.
"I had another relationship in between. Well, relationship is a strong word. Let's say 'situationship' and it wasn't great," Ella confided in him, "So Ollie has taken it upon himself to vet any potential suitors. Or random British boys I pick up in The Hague," she winked at Alex.
"Sorry to hear that."
"Yeah, well, you live and you learn," Ella shrugged, "Anyways, time for my question. Who was your first kiss?"
Alex smiled, "I was fourteen and on holiday. It was with my friend Sabina. How about you?"
"I was also fourteen. Mine was with my neighbor and soccer bestie Antonio. We were watching a movie in his basement and he tasted like Cheetos," Ella chuckled at the memory.
"And what ended up happening to this stud Antonio?"
"Well, he now plays Division III soccer for a college in Pennsylvania. As for the 'Great Love Story of Ella and Antonio,' his family moved away the next day and I never saw him again. We still text sometimes though."
"Wow, so he really kissed and ditched?" Alex laughed.
"It was more of a 'now or never' situation. He had very obviously liked me for years but was too afraid to say anything. I was down because I thought kissing him would be fun. It wasn't good, but I think a bad first kiss is simply a milestone in growing up," Ella smiled, "Plus he was one of my best friends back in the day."
"My first kiss was great actually."
"Of course it was. So what ended up happening with this Sabina?" Ella asked him.
"Well," Alex paused, "We're still friends. We are both the only child so I went on holiday with her family a few times. We hung out loads and she kissed me a few times–never anything crazy. Then she moved to America so I only saw her a few times a year. I always sort of pined for her, but she moved on quickly. When we were seventeen, we slept together once. It was stupid and there was alcohol but I loved her so much and I was there and she wanted to have fun. We went back to just being friends after that, but you never fully forget your first love, you know? I always wonder what would have happened if she had stayed in England. Wow," Alex shook his head, "That was a lot, sorry."
Ella squeezed his shoulder. "Nothing to apologize for, friend. And my first love didn't turn out great either. I was young–fifteen–when I met Ali. He was tall and cute and I had liked him for a long time. Anyways, his family never would have approved of us due to religious differences. Well, he liked me back and we dated in secret for like six months. He was my first everything except for that sponsored-by-Cheetos kiss with Antonio. Eventually, his parents found out and sent him to boarding school to keep him away from me. They took his phone so I never got a real goodbye–just a letter explaining why he couldn't see me anymore that he mailed me in secret without a return address. I still think of him from time to time."
"That sucks."
"Oh, I've had worse. At least with Ali things didn't blow up in my face like usual, though some closure might have been nice," Ella paused for a second, "Anyways, he'll probably never show it, but Ollie likes you."
"Literally how did you get that vibe?"
"He told me himself!"
"So that's what you two talked about?"
"Well, first he wanted to make sure I was okay. Then we talked about your heroics and the topic switched over to you. He liked that you were so quick on the draw, and he was very impressed at your aim. MI6 must be doing something right," she teased.
"Yeah, yeah, MI6. So he likes me because I shot a guy in the head for you?"
"Yeah pretty much. He talks a lot but his standards are really not all that high," she teased, "But anyways, since it does seem to be jogging your memory, I want to continue the story. This is where things get weird…"
Twenty minutes after Alex was kicked out, Ella and Oliver exited the apartment.
"C'mon, Alex, we're heading back to base," Oliver said, leading the way down the hall. Ella and Alex lagged behind.
"You sure you're okay?" Alex asked her, "I imagine that was fucking traumatic."
"I'll be okay. Honestly, I don't want to think about it right now," Ella confessed.
"And that's okay. I'm here if and when you do."
Ella stopped in her tracks, causing Alex to do the same. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight. "Thank you. Seriously." Alex hugged her back.
The trio arrived back at Thee en Zand around 1:30. Fenna and Yuri were sitting at the table while Noa and Tai played a game of darts. Everyone greeted each other, and Oliver joined the others at the table. Ella hung back for a minute, taking everything in, and Alex stood by her side. She took a deep breath and walked over to the table, grabbing the bottle of Jenever and taking a swig. "Want some? I promise I brushed my teeth after my stunning digestive pyrotechnics." Alex laughed and took a swig too. The taste was really growing on him.
Ella took another sip and handed the bottle back to Alex. She made her way to the other side of the room where Tai had just beaten Noa at darts. "I got next game," she declared.
"Well I won, so you can play me," Tai announced, "But I definitely get to go first." Ella nodded.
Noa had come back to where Alex was standing. He offered her the Jenever but she shook her head. "That stuff is disgusting," she laughed.
"It's growing on me," Alex admitted.
"Are you ready to watch the most tense game of darts ever?" Noa rolled her eyes.
"I'm not sure what you mean–" Alex began before getting cut off by Tai shouting.
"Outer ring! That's 25 points, thank you very much," Tai threw his second dart, "FUCK. Okay that's twelve more points," he threw his last dart, "Rats, nine points. Okay mark me down for 46 and I'd like to see you do better," he raised his eyebrows, challenging Ella.
Ella stepped up to the line, dart in hand, and effortlessly hit a bullseye. "You were saying?" she smirked at him.
"Fuck this," Tai announced. Ella scored a total of 76 points in her first round, much to Tai's dismay.
"You lost this round so you have to drink," she challenged. Without hesitating, he pulled a flask of Jägermeister from his back pocket and took a swig.
Ella stepped back up to the line, ready to throw her next round of darts. "Second round we stand further back," Tai corrected her, grabbing Ella by the shoulders and moving her back a step. She shook him off before throwing her first dart for 16 points. Tai scored more points in the second round, forcing Ella to take another sip of Jenever. This went back and forth for a little while, with whoever was winning getting cockier, and the loser getting madder. And it switched back and forth nearly every round.
"Hah! You need to learn to read a dart board," Tai exclaimed after Ella hit the "2" space.
"Maybe I can't read, but at least I can count," Ella shot back after Tai totaled her points wrong.
"Here, let me show you proper technique," Tai said, grabbing Ella's elbow while she was holding a dart.
"Tai, so help me God, this dart will end up in your shoulder if you don't leave me the fuck alone."
"I thought that's the opposite of what you wanted."
"I'm going to need you to shut the fuck up."
The game dragged on and they both got drunker and drunker. Alex tried to match Ella shot for shot because by some miracle the Jenever was now delicious. "I told you so," Noa mumbled to Alex after Tai removed the dartboard from the wall and tossed it at the adjacent wall like a frisbee after a heartbreaking defeat to Ella.
"Wow, who can't read the dart board now?" Ella challenged him.
"Maybe I can't read a dart board, but at least I can read someone's intentions," he shot back.
"And I can read a room," Ella snarled before promptly leaving the room. Tai followed her. Alex made a motion to go after her but Noa shook her head.
"I got this one, Alex. Enjoy your disgusting Dutch liquor," she told him and he took another swig.
"Fuck was that about?" Alex mumbled, addressing Oliver, Yuri, and Fenna.
"Don't ask me. I'm fucking sick of those two," Yuri rolled his eyes, "They're great agents alone and in a group, but leave them alone together and they'll tear each other's heads off." Alex looked at Oliver and Fenna, but neither of them said anything.
"Should I follow her, or–" Alex began.
Fenna finally spoke up. "Stay here and give it t-minus five, four, three, two, on–" Fenna was cut off by Tai storming back into the room and picking up the dartboard he had tossed earlier. "I assume you're going home, Tai?" Fenna asked him and Tai nodded.
"I had a tough day and need to go sleep it off," he said plainly before leaving again. Oliver exhaled but said nothing.
Noa came back into the room with a puffy-faced Ella in tow. "I'm making sure Tai gets home. Nobody does anything I wouldn't do," she commanded before spinning back around, "Fenna and Oliver, handle this," she said gesturing at Ella before running after Tai.
"Tai was your last relationship, wasn't he?" Alex asked.
"Wow, way to cut straight to the point," Ella kicked at a rock from her seat on the bench.
"I mean, you weren't exactly hiding anything," Ella said nothing. "You don't have to talk about it, you know. But as your friend, that's kind of how this all works. I know how difficult it is to date in this profession. Nobody really gets me and it's impossible to get people to open up."
"Yeah, seriously. The only people who don't ask too many questions are genuinely criminals. Or, the occasional vigilante, but they don't stay in one place for long. Much better for short-term hookups. Everyone else asks me too much shit about my childhood and my job and my scars. I understand why, obviously, but it all just feels a little hopeless sometimes. That's why Tai was so great. He's really cute, first of all, and he paints his nails," Alex laughed at this, "And we were such good friends when we first met on another job. We have the same sense of humor and have a ton in common. It was very 'Ella and Tai against the world,' and I fell for him immediately. Anyway, we never really did anything, except for a really late-night drunken kiss, but we maintained a solid friendship despite him living in France. We texted like, every single day. He sent me gifts and letters and was always calling in to check on me. This went on for like four months after we worked together, and I was so sure he liked me too. I finally confessed to him one day and he was a complete dick about it. Turns out he led me on since he liked the attention, but never saw me as anything more."
"Shit."
"Yeah. That one stung I can't lie. Well we had this big fight about it and we decided to 'remain friends' but it's been a little weird since. He's less of an ass when it's just the two of us alone, but he can get kind of show off-y in groups like that–and I absolutely feed off of the energy."
"Yeah, that's a fair assessment."
"It has never been that bad though. I think it was a perfect storm of the alcohol, losing in darts, and you being there."
"Me?"
"Yeah. Even though he was the one to reject me, I think there was still some jealousy there. He and I had our falling out only two months ago, and I think it killed him to see me move on from him so fast. Not that we're together, obviously, but he thought we were and that was enough. I sent him a text last night after you fell asleep but he hasn't responded yet."
"No offense, but why haven't you just dropped this guy?"
"I probably should. But I believe in second chances and mending broken bridges," Ella admitted.
"And that's why you're one of the good ones," Alex smiled, "I get that though," he said, circling back, "Honestly I've tried dating a few girls, but nothing ever stuck past the first date. I guess being hot and mysterious can only take you so far," Ella busted out laughing. "Plus, as you said, meeting people is tough. It's not like that perfect person is just to show up in front of me one day."
Ella held up her fist. "To second dates," she declared, and Alex bumped it.
Fenna, Oliver, and Ella left, leaving just Alex and Yuri. Yuri was typing on his computer furiously.
"So Yuri," Alex started, causing him to look up from his screen, "What's your favorite color?"
Yuri thought for a second. "Red. Thanks for asking," and went right back to typing. Alex took this as a sign to be quiet and opened his phone again. Still no texts from Mrs. Jones.
Fifteen minutes later, Alex was replaying the events of the night in his head when Ella, Fenna, Oliver, and surprisingly Noa all returned together.
In seemingly much brighter spirits, Ella cried out "Drinking game!" Oliver brought out an expensive bottle of English gin for himself and Fenna, a bottle of vodka for Yuri, and a bottle of Arak for Noa.
"Alex, you're welcome to the gin if you're sick of that fucking Jenever." Alex winked at Ella and took another sip straight from the bottle.
"Let's play 'Never Have I Ever," Noa declared, "Rules are simple. Say something you've never done before. If someone else at the table has done it, they have to drink," everybody nodded. "Fenna you first."
"Never have I ever been someone's first kiss," Fenna smiled. Everyone but Alex drank.
"Never have I ever been someone's last kiss," Noa winked.
"Too soon!" Ella laughed but drank anyway. Fenna drank as well.
"You'll have to tell me about that sometime," Oliver chuckled. Fenna just kissed him on the cheek. "My turn. Never have I ever flashed someone," he winked at Fenna, who was the only drinker.
"Never have I ever had a one-night stand," Alex declared. Everybody but Noa drank.
"I got one," Yuri declared, "Never have I ever been arrested." Oliver and Ella drank to that.
"What the fuck did you do?" Oliver demanded of Ella.
"Nothing that wasn't deserved," she shrugged, "Never have I ever taught fourth-grade math," she looked at Alex who was, of course, the only one to drink.
"Never have I ever had my heart broken," Fenna said. Everyone but Noa drank again.
The game went on and everyone got drunker and drunker. Between Alex, Ella, and Fenna, the Jenever was dwindling. Ella had done some of the more interesting claims, such as doing ecstasy or having sex in a car, but she made sure to include Alex in with claims such as "poisoned an intelligence agency" and "been functionally kidnapped in the Hague." Alex was happy to be included, and happy that Ella was feeling better, but his world had begun to spin a little.
"Okay, okay," Yuri began, standing up and swaying a little, "I am drunk enough to do something stupid," he said, his Russian accent sounding a little heavier.
Ella stood up immediately. "So what's the plan?"
"I'm too old for this shit," Oliver announced, "It's nearly three and it's a 20-minute walk home. Fenna?"
"Yeah, sorry kids. I'm gone too," she said sleepily.
"Alright then. Everybody get the fuck out so I can lock up," Oliver directed. Five minutes later everyone was standing outside. "Now. Ground rules. Nobody gets arrested, killed, hospitalized, or high tonight. Don't be a nuisance and don't make anything my problem. Deal?"
"Deal," said Alex, Ella, Noa, and Yuri.
"So what's the plan, Yuri?" Ella asked.
"We're getting a pizza and going swimming," he declared.
Twenty minutes later, the four were eating slices of plain pizza while Noa easily picked the lock of a gate surrounding a local hotel pool. Once inside, Ella hid the Jenever behind one of the pool chairs and set the leftover pizza on a neighboring table.
Yuri was the first to strip down to his underwear and slide into the pool. The girls followed suit. Fuck it, Alex decided and left his clothes folded next to Ella's. He dove into the pool. It had been months since he had gone swimming and the cool water felt good against his skin.
The four of them spent a while just splashing around before they quickly devolved into an incredibly drunk "chicken fight." Alex and Yuri stood facing each other. Ella sat on Alex's shoulders while Noa sat on Yuri's. Using nothing but drunk strength and instinct, the two girls tried to knock one another off of their partner's shoulders. It was the most fun Alex had in a long time, though he and Ella were far too drunk to be any good at the game. Ella had only managed to knock Noa off twice in comparison to Noa's six times. Both girls, however, fell off their partners' shoulders while lunging at one another way more times than they were knocked off.
It was a raucous time that ended abruptly when a police siren approached.
"Shit," Yuri hissed as the car's headlight illuminated the four of them, "Everybody run."
"No, no," Ella slurred, "I got this. Trust me."
"We're screwed," Alex shook his head as Ella climbed out of the pool facing two police officers in nothing but a black sports bra and underwear. Alex, Noa, and Yuri huddled in the pool quietly.
"Yeah, Oliver is going to kick my ass when I call him in an hour asking for bail," Yuri said solemnly.
"Hallo officieren," Ella greeted them in Dutch.
"Hallo," the first officer continued in Dutch, "We have received a noise complaint."
"We are so sorry," Ella pleaded, "My name is Elsje. The thing is, my friends over here just got engaged. We are in the army and this is the only free time off we have to celebrate their love is tonight."
"You're in the army?" the officer asked in disbelief.
"Ja, this is my first year," Ella smiled proudly, "Here–I'll show you my badge." Ella walked over to her pile of clothes slowly and produced the same badge she used to trick the Scorpia agents earlier in the night. She walked back over to the officers who inspected it before nodding and returning it. "Anyways, we're all staying up in this hotel," Ella said while gesturing towards it. She pulled something else out of her jacket pocket, "Here is the key. We're so sorry for making so much noise, but after my friend Alex and I learned the other got engaged, we had to celebrate! Of course as soldiers we can't drink, so we decided to go for a walk and grab a pizza. The gate to the pool was left open so we went for a swim. Anyways, we're so sorry for making you guys drive all the way out here. Please, take a slice of pizza as an apology," she offered.
"Not so fast," the first officer said, "Who is your Kapitein?" Alex's head was spinning both from the alcohol and the realization that Ella was about to get him arrested.
Ella smiled. "His name is Kapitein Johannes Berman. Would you like his extension? He will be happy to tell you the same thing I just told you if you call him."
The officer agreed and Ella recited a phone number for him. The two officers stepped away for a few minutes to call the number. Ella turned to face the others in the pool. She had a huge grin and gave them two thumbs up.
"Either of you speak Dutch?" Alex whispered to Noa and Yuri who both shook their heads, "Because I would really like to know what the hell is going on."
"Elsje is usually our go-to translator," Yuri admits, "I only know Russian, English, and French."
"No one can bullshit quite like Elsje," Noa noted, "And I'd bet money that whoever she told those officers to call is real and will cover for her. Never doubt Ells, especially on her home turf. The only thing that surprises me is how sober she sounds," she snickered.
"God I hope you're right," Alex replied. Mrs. Jones might actually murder him if he got arrested while he was supposed to be lying low as a witness in international court. Worse, he may no longer be allowed to testify against Kurst. Why did he ever let Ella drag him along for this?
The officers finished up on the phone and said something to Ella. She smiled and offered them each a slice of pizza. Finally, she walked over to the pool and spoke in whispered yet commanding English. "We're all good. I talked our way out of this. However, if anyone asks, we're all in the Dutch army, Yuri and Noa are engaged, and your names are Jaan and Sophie because you need to sound more Dutch. Now, keep your fucking mouths shut while you get dressed, because there's a safe car coming to pick us up in five minutes. You're going to get out of the pool and we're all going to get dressed.
"If one of the officers says 'Gefeliciteerd met jullie verloving!' That means 'congrats on the engagement.' Yuri and Noa respond with 'Hartelijk dank.' It means 'thank you.' Now everyone get the fuck out of the pool slowly, get dressed, keep your mouths shut, and follow my lead."
Everyone did as they were told. Ella continued talking the officers' ears off in Dutch while everyone collected their things. Yuri grabbed the bottle of Jenever and hid it under his coat while Noa and Alex ate the rest of the pizza. What felt like an eternity later but was realistically only five more minutes, a grey Ford Escape with tinted windows pulled up to the gate.
"Dank je," Ella shouted to the officers as she grabbed Alex's hand and ran to the vehicle. Noa and Yuri followed behind, holding hands as well, like the fictional engaged couple they were. Ella sat up front and the others climbed into the back seat. The officer and driver exchanged a few short words before driving away.
The driver was tall and blonde with his hair cut into a short military cut. He wore an officer's uniform and, much to Alex's chagrin, drove about as chaotically as Oliver had earlier. Once they had put some distance between them and the pool, he peeled off into a dark alleyway and turned off his car lights. "You all speak English?" he asked with a mild Dutch accent. Everyone nodded.
"Great. Elsje? I'm going to kick your ass. What the hell are you doing out so late? It's nearly four in the morning."
To everyone's surprise, Ella just laughed and hugged the man. "Good to see you too, Cousin, I've missed you."
"So you're telling me I shot a man, had like 12 shots of Jenever, went skinny dipping, and had the cops called on me all in one night?" Alex asked incredulously.
"That is precisely what I am saying," Ella smiled back. They were finally walking back to Ella's grandparents' house.
"Well damn, Cornell, we need to hang out more often because that was a great night," Ella nudged his arm, "Except for the whole you getting assaulted thing. That was fucked up."
"It was," Ella agreed, "But I'm okay. I promise."
"Good. So what ended up happening after we got into your cousin's car? It really all went black after that."
"Yeah you passed out in his back seat," Ella chucked, "But anyways, we drove Yuri and Noa back to their residences and Johannes drove you and me back to our grandparents. We weren't sure where you were staying, so we just took you back to mine. To answer your questions: yes, Johannes is actually my first cousin and yes he's actually a Captain in the Dutch military. I knew he'd cover for me, no questions asked, so I gave the officers his number last night and he corroborated our story. He helped me carry you into my room and I passed out pretty quickly."
"Do all of your nights out end like this?" Alex questioned.
"Only the very best ones," Ella smiled as the two walked up the front steps of her grandparents' house.
For the record, going back to see what I wore in 2018 (as a sophomore in high school) was beyond cursed.