"In fact... you could stay here and explain to me exactly what you do with your angel... How... did you manage it the first time? Did you attack him?" Beelzebub asks.

"W-What?" Crowley's smile freezes.

"Explain in detail."

"D-Detail."

"Yes, I want to know how..."

"Um... h-how," she repeats, sweating coldly.

"You do with him what you do. And what you do. Come on..."

"Well, the... b-best. Or rather... worst. The worst, which is... of course, the good. The thing is that..."

"How did you convince him the first time?"

"Well... it's... they're not very... it was difficult. Very difficult. The whole thing about it being disgusting and forbidden and all that, it wasn't easy to convince him."

"And how did you do it?" the prince of hell insists, looking at him.

"Maybe I could... do a... p-presentation."

"No. I'd prefer you tell me."

"Well, the key is... not to think too much," of course, Crowley, that's just what you did.

"But how did you know he would say yes? I mean... for him it must have been disgusting."

"Well, he specifically is a special case because he's been with humans for many years, observing them and trying to mimic them, and having a slightly different nature makes him... more receptive."

"Hmm..." Beelzebub grimaces. "Are you saying he had done this with humans before? Ugh."

"N-Naaaah, I don't think so," Crowley wrinkles her nose.

"I still find it very complex that a demon can kiss an angel and... like it. What did you do then?" she wants instructions, dear. "Physically, didn't you just... attack?

"Eh... no, I did think about it a bit. In fact, I had to force him. It also helped that he... well, everyone knows. Also, in the case of a kiss, for example," now? Now it's your damn turn to use the brain-cell? "He really likes sweets, so eating something sweet and having my mouth taste like it..."

"Forcing him, sweets... hmmm... Um... what did his taste like?"

"His mouth?"

"Yes."

"Like tea... and sweets too. Strawberry crepes. He had been eating them all afternoon as if the world was going to end, it seems," she tries to remember.

Aziraphale doesn't know how you're saying these things without dying of embarrassment. Well, one learns a couple of things in hell. Or rather, if one is a good demon, they're taught, and if not... they're still taught but in the fast way.

"It's not like I have another way of eating them anyway," she adds. Beelzebub wrinkles her nose at all that description.

"Crepes?"

"It's like a thin cake made of flour and milk, it's actually a very silly thing and... I mean... I think. I've never made them. Or eaten them. Or... well. I have no idea."

"And he ate them. And then he tasted like that... what if he hadn't eaten anything?"

"It's... hard to describe without... making reference to food. Um... but they're not poisonous... wahoo," she whispers with a slightly forced half-smile.

"The kisses?"

"Yes. The saliva and everything else," for the love of God. She's not asking you this, don't tell her this.

"Nor you for him."

"Uh... after thorough field research... no. It seems not."

"And what about the rest... Um... does he react like a human?"

"Ah... yes, of course. To everything," of course, even to things you haven't done.

"And you don't need to... react for him to believe it?"

Crowley's mouth opens again.

"Aaaaah... Y-Yeah, of course, but...," she shrugs, swaying. "It's... easy to fake and all that, you just need to... change things around a bit and..."

"Eh?"

"The moisture is the key."

"Moisture?!"

"Y-Yeah. Moisture."

"Moisture where?! In the... air? Do you need there to be water?"

"Eh... no. Not water. It's like... it's like saliva, but... in...," how the hell did he call it?, the little reproductive apparatus? His special thing? "The sexual area."

"Do you spit on his sexual area?"

A few moments of silence, pondering that.

"Yes, sometimes."

"And him on yours? And does that... help?"

"Extremely. In fact, some humans do it with their mouth," okay, your premium TV is cancelled, young lady. And internet with parental controls from now on. If this were the nineties, it would be the cabel TV, and don't tell me it's for research purposes.

"Humans are weird," Beelzebub wrinkles her nose a bit but doesn't find it that scandalous. "And do you bite?"

"That was an accident!"

"What?! Did you bite his... sexual parts?"

"N-No! I bit his lip!"

"Ohh..."

"Well, it wasn't so accidental."

"How?"

"I mean, it was when I was asked to kill him."

"Oh... and you tried to bite him there? That... wow..." the prince of hell raises her eyebrows, somewhat surprised.

"Yes. Exactly."

"It didn't work, I guess. And yet he wanted to do it again?!"

"Yes."

"Why?! How?! That angel is... obsessed," she wrinkles her nose.

"Eh... no, I mean..."

"Would you do that again if a demon bit your face?"

"No, of course not."

"He's an angel! Why does he trust you?" she frowns.

"Because he's... in love," Crowley whispers a bit.

"But... really? A-And, um... how did you do that?"

Honestly, that's THE QUESTION. And she has NO IDEA.

"You must have done something, right?"

"Y-Yes, yes, of course. Um," what do humans do in these cases...? Movies! You've seen a million romantic movies, Crowley, just tell her the plot of some. "W-Well... we were on a boat and I asked him to draw me and..."

"Which boat? What did you ask him to draw?"

"Well, to draw me and... um... then he took me to dance with the lower class people in the hold and..." she continues, trying to remember what happens in Titanic.

"Angels don't dance."

"Eh... no, well, generally not. But he learned to dance that shit in a bloody gay club after we stopped talking to each other in the 19th century because... he's an idiot and his balls have the size of a melon... " she protests, gesturing with her hands. And that's why I have to go after him because if I don't, he'll stay up there forever and he's really capable of not coming for me.

Blink. Beelzebub blinks at that change of tone.

"You stopped talking... I mean you talked to each other."

Crowley opens her mouth, staying paralyzed because she assumed that... I mean, wasn't Michael retweeting photos of the two of them that had been taken from who knows where and everyone already knew...?

"N-No...?" she whispers in a thin voice because she's not sure if this is going to fly now.

"Don't give me that idiotic face. We all know it's been like this for a long time and you... I have no idea what you're doing. I just want to know how you do it."

Crowley gives a forced smile and runs a hand through her hair. Truth be told, she'd like to know too.

"You have to tell me." Beelzebub insists.

"I-I mean... romantic gestures are what... well..."

"Which ones? Romantic gestures... I can't imagine you doing any silly romantic gestures."

"Like... leaving the board for him to" her eyes moisten a bit because THEY BOTH FIT ON THAT BOARD and then she clears his throat. "Uhm, trying to stop the apocalypse and somehow convince him it was because... of him."

Beelzebub blinks at that.

"You ruined everything for... him?!" she scolds.

"No, no, no, no! I did it because I like Earth and humans and life as it is now, but that doesn't mean I couldn't... embellish the truth a bit when convenient."

"You're an idiot!" Beelzebub protests, remembering the Apocalypse.

Crowley tightens her eyes because she really is, I mean, she can't control her mouth every damn time and she knows it.

"Uh... yes, Lord Beelzebub."

"And the idiot really believed you stopped it for him?"

"Um..." she hesitates again. "Technically and regarding that, in reality... analyzing it from a practical and competent point of view in terms of strict facts and our actual contribution of actions to the cause... it's easy to conclude that in reality who stopped the Apocalypse was the Antichrist boy and that our contribution to the event was more... um... null," what kind of defense is this? You can't blame us for trying to stop the apocalypse because even though we tried, we're so incompetent that if it's up to us, we'll even make it start sooner.

"What?!"

"What I mean is that... in reality, anything we tried to stop the apocalypse was... a failed plan and we actually didn't manage... I mean, it wasn't stopped because of us but rather in spite of us."

"Are you now saying that you couldn't even come up with a good plan?"

"No, no, no... The plan was there. But it was a total failure."

"Wonderful... a terrible plan then."

"Eh... yes. A bit. Which leads one to think that maybe it's not something we should... directly blame ourselves for, since in reality..."

"It was you! You're not going to convince me otherwise. I was there. And Gabriel, and we saw you with the boy."

"The boy did... he was the one who faced his father and changed reality," she whispers a bit scolded.

"And who convinced him?!"

"The truth? I would bet on his friends and his life in the little town. I mean, we only arrived five minutes before and our plan was to kill him, not give him a speech."

"Alright, back to your angel," she rolls her eyes trying to steer the conversation back because this puts her in a bad mood.

"Uh-huh?" Another blush from Crowley.

"Have you or haven't you had sexual encounters?" she smiles a bit..

"Oh. Um. Ah... Y-Yes."

"How is that supposed to work?"

"W-Well... like kissing but... with another part of the body."

"That's for... procreation," she looks at him... blinks and raises her eyebrows.

"Y-Yes, I mean... mostly but... humans do it MANY TIMES without that intention."

"Have you figured out why?"

"Well... because..." she moistens his lips, thinking about the feeling of affection and unity that she doesn't know how to explain from looking into each other's eyes after almost feeling physical pleasure. "It produces physical pleasure."

"Hmm..."

"Actually, if you think about it, it makes sense that it does..." she hesitates. Here we go with the weird dissertations again.

"Why?"

"Well, the idea is that... creatures created by God are supposed to... reproduce and truth be told, having offspring isn't easy. You have to take care of them and feed them and protect them while they're young and weak, not to mention the whole labour work thing itself... Plus, the aspiration of almost all species is to make life as easy as possible, so if it didn't produce pleasure, I don't think anyone would do it..." she shrugs. "Besides, it wouldn't work as temptation. I mean, it's easy not to feel tempted to have splinters driven into your fingers or be burned at the stake."

Beelzebub listens attentively.

"So, you like it," she concludes finally.

"N-No... I mean... I'm talking about... humans. And animals and... all that." Crowley visibly blushes now.

"You're turning red," she notices.

"Um... well, yeah. It's hot in here, this is hell," badum tsss. She covers her face with her hands.

"It's not hot at all. Does it... give you pleasure?" and for some reason, Beelzebub seems particularly interested.

"Uh... mmm... ah... uh..." she opens her mouth, wrinkles her nose, then clenches her teeth and makes a couple more gestures, shrugging. "O-Or... I mean... maybe we should start heading up now," she looks at her watch.

"Oh... is it time already?"

"Well..." she smiles because it's only been like twenty minutes but it felt like three hours to her.

"Because we can't be late," Beelzebub clears her throat because when she goes alone she usually arrives on time, of course, because... Gabriel. On time.

"In this case... we might arrive a little earlier but wouldn't that be even more annoying? Because of... the two hours and all that."

"Yes, yes... shut up. Let's go."

Crowley clears her throat and smiles a bit because she's saved! Wahoo!

Well, after a bit of torture, yeah. You know who isn't saved?

Are you going to say Aziraphale? You're going to say Aziraphale.

That's right, the angel they have kidnapped! YES!

We're going for him! It's just that this time it's a bit complicated.

I find it interesting to think that's what they believe... but okay.

Honestly, if this were in the Bastille, they'd decapitate him, we know. But with humans, it's easier!

Absolutely, in fact, I'm not sure that... something hasn't already happened.

Like what?

Well, I hope Aziraphale wherever he is, is okay.

Hastur, don't be a jerk because this is going to backfire on you.

Hastur chuckles, which is very typical of a bad demon like him.

Rolls eyes.

Well, there goes Beelzebub to... the appropriate area with Crowley uncomfortably trailing behind. Uncomfortably for everyone, moreover. There isn't a single soul who wants or considers it a good idea for her to be doing this activity.

Nobody. Not even Aziraphale, who usually allies with her. Not her, who usually backs up her own plans. But... well, at least they're expected in Heaven. Or they're waiting for Lord Beelzebub, of course, because Gabriel has sent someone to notify them to notify him.

So there they are, honestly, Beelzebub considerably more nervous than the face of absolute disgust and boredom would suggest.

One of the angels accompanies them, a bit nervous, it must be said, to a conference room so they can wait instead of being there in the middle of the entrance, making everyone nervous.

Beelzebub is used to this, truth be told, she does it like two out of three days of the week. She almost even greets the angel with some grace and assures him that the haircut he has is horrendous.

And truthfully, Crowley would like to speak with the angel, with this one or any other, without... her here, raising his eyebrows with familiarity.

You could ask where the bathroom is.

Sure, because everyone here has to go to the bathroom constantly.

Okay, okay... that's not very helpful.

Sigh... Crowley looks at Beelzebub out of the corner of his eye, trying to think of a good excuse.

Beelzebub arrives and sits down, and only because Crowley it's here with her, puts her feet up on the table. Crowley looks at her nervously.

"Maybe I could go... take a walk around here to see if... I find something interesting."

"Don't do anything too serious, will you?" eyes roll.

"Why? Is there somewhere better?" Crowley smiles.

"No. When we come like this, no. This is an official visit."

Eeeeye roll.

"I'm serious, Crowley." she points her.

"Okay, okay," the readhead raises her hands in surrender. "No thumbtacks on the seats, keyboards with scrambled letters so they read insults, or printers misconfigured and out of paper."

"And I'm serious."

And there's Gabriel appearing in the white hallway of the glass-walled conference room, and Beelzebub lowers her legs, as if activated by a spring, and Crowley stops. Bloody hell. He furrows his brow.

"Hello..." Beelzebub's eyes roll, she even seems... annoyed.

"Beelzebub," he greets, pointing at her, then turns back to Crowley, narrowing his eyes a bit and giving her a look of and who are you?

"Um... how was the meeting?" Beelzebub asks, uh, smiling a bit.

"Fine, fine," Gabriel smiles like in a toothpaste add and decides to ignore Crowley, who is rolling her eyes and slumping into a chair, uninterested in this, without responding.

"You finished on time!"

"More like I had to summarize. Anyway..." he looks back at Crowley out of the corner of his eye, not understanding why she's being so hostile, also... she sounds familiar, was she the apocalypse idiot? But wasn't she a man?

"What did you want... to tell me?"

"I don't think it's a good idea to start with that."

"No?"

"Isn't this your... man?" he points to Crowley.

"Yes... yes. He's now... well. Looking for yours."

"For?"

"Well..."

"To kill him," Crowley answers, and Gabriel raises his eyebrows... because it seems a bit aggressive to go up to Heaven to kill him. Can't they meet on neutral ground on Earth and stop bothering everyone?

"That's right. But it seems he's not here." adds Beelzebub.

"He'll be in his... library or whatever," Gabriel makes a gesture of what are you telling me? and Crowley sits up a bit in her chair.

"The thing is, he's not there. I've gone and he opened it, but he wasn't there," Crowley explains.

"Do you have him?" Beelzebub asks.

"Well, I don't know if he may have gone up to report something, he hasn't shown up with me," Gabriel shrugs because it's the least of his concerns, and he approaches Beelzebub.

Crowley furrows her brow because... even if he had been urgently called, if he had gone himself, he would have DEFINITELY taken thirty seconds to close the bookshop. Even if it had been because he had less than a minute left to live... he would have closed the bloody bookshop.

And in saying goodbye to you, too!

"Well... then..." Beelzebub looks a bit at Gabriel, who approaches her and... she looks at him.

"Maybe you can ask at the reception to see if he's gone up for something, but he's probably just around, eating or... something," the disgusted expression.

The look Crowley gives them because how could he have gone off to eat and left everything there, it's like they don't know him! Besides, she had gone to look for him at his known favorite restaurants and he wasn't in any of them. Although it could be that there were more that Crowley didn't know about because with this man, you never knew, but...

But he's not in Heaven, dear.

Crowley looks at them out of the corner of his eye, because he wasn't on Earth either. What if...? What if someone had taken him to Hell!?

Aaaaah! Look at that.

She hadn't sensed him when she was there before, but she hadn't looked for him either. Oh, bloody hell, what if some idiot had tried to... kidnap him? But why? Wait! Hastur! That's why he had been avoiding her the whole time!

Shit shit shit shit.

Although she would love to stay here to find out what Gabriel and Beelzebub are up to, she couldn't let them have him in Hell! She rushes out the door almost without saying goodbye.

Everyone blinks.

And truthfully, halfway through the run, she changes her stiletto heels for flats because you can't run like this, although they still have red soles.

Meanwhile, Hastur is doing unimaginable things.

So she arrives in Hell, throwing the doors wide open because one thing doesn't exclude the other. Being dramatic and spectacular is not at odds with being in a hurry.

"HASTUUUUUUUR!"

How could she be such an idiot? She even smells his perfume and the scent of sex. She goes straight following the trail.

Hastur must stink of Aziraphale. Actually, a bit dramatically she can smell blood... because Hastur is a bit of an idiot too.

WTF?

He's in Hell's dungeon behind a line of fire.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, HASTUR?"

Hastur looks at her with a half-smile, although Aziraphale is nowhere to be seen, she can feel him. But she's... a wall. On fire. Maybe guarded by a six-headed dog. I don't know. Hastur has been quite... histrionic.

"Hello."

"What do you think you're doing?" Crowley approaches with a furrowed brow, defiant.

"What you don't have the balls to do, of course."

"You're, damn it, so stupid!" she protests frustrated, trying to put out the wall with a snap of his fingers.

"Stupid me?! You're the one who doesn't know how to do what you're asked... and now it's been replaced by something better!"

"By something that brings more benefits, do you know how much it will cost me to regain his trust after this? You couldn't be more of an idiot. Get him out of there!"

"I'm not going to get him out of there, I'm going to kill him!"

"And what the hell are you going to tell Lord Beelzebub? That you killed someone who could have been a perfect undercover agent because... you lack oxygen in your brain? You'd better make sure he's intact in there!"

"Do you think Lord Beelzebub will care?"

"Of course Lord Beelzebub will care, idiot, this was her idea!" she shouts out of panic and miracles a piece of meat, throwing it far away to distract the dog.

"Yeah, well, she'll find another plan anyway. Most likely killing him will seem better."

"That's not something you get to decide. Stop interfering in MY PLANS."

"Since when can YOU prevent ME from doing something?!"

"Since what you do interferes with my work and the direct orders of Lord Beelzebub!" she approaches the door trying to open it, but Hastur stands between her and the door, setting fire to it again.

Crowley gives her a warning look and extinguishes it again.

"What are you going to do?"

The snake moistens her lips, thinking and trying to calm down because even she feels herself in the midst of a panic attack.

"Kill him myself. You don't know how to do it, you've been at this all day and judging by all this you've accomplished nothing."

"I'll keep trying until I get it."

"Stop. Interfering. In. My. Plans. Go kill Gabriel, come on. THAT would be impressive, not this poor excuse for an angel that no one cares about." Crowley points inside.

"He matters to you. Don't think I don't know that," Hastur smiles a bit.

"He matters to me because it's my plan!"

Hastur smiles a bit more, Crowley rolls her eyes and tries again to open the door.

"I know what's going on. Even if Lord Beelzebub believes what you say. You care about the angel."

"It matters to me because it's my job!"

"Not just because of that... and I know it," he steps away from the door.

Rolling her eyes again but inside he goes, without saying anything more.

And there he is, curled up, covered with his wings, half bloody and bruised. Crowley lets out a little scream, approaching him.

"A-Angel!"

The mentioned one leans back a bit and Crowley takes a step towards him, starting to run in her direction and then stops himself almost immediately.

"C-Crowley?" he's quite bruised and scraped and bloody.

"What are you doing here?" she asks, trying to sound casual, looking at Hastur out of the corner of his eye, who smiles.

"I-I don't know..."

"How can you not know?" she moistens her lips and she's not good at healing miracles and besides, there's Hastur there.

"I can't get out..." he whispers again.

"Just snap your fingers!"

"No, it doesn't work..." he looks at het a bit pleadingly because there's also fire and he got REALLY scared.

Crowley raises her eyebrows and gives him a look like... I didn't tell you to perform a miracle, I told you to snap your fingers.

Aziraphale raises his eyebrows a bit with that look and... he understands. He takes a few seconds and with a VERY shaky hand... he does it.

Crowley does it at the same time hiding her hand as best as she can from Hastur, and Aziraphale's clothes and belongings return to their place... on him and... around him in general.

"Ohh..." he breathes feeling considerably better.

"Crowley to the rescue," Hastur murmurs maliciously.

Crowley, who again has to stop herself from reaching out and taking his hands, blushes at Hastur's comment, unable to help it.

"It's not a rescue because you weren't really in danger," she replies to the other demon, seeing that pretending she was afraid didn't work on Aziraphale himself.

"Maybe I should lock you both up... I bet we'd see interesting things," Hastur muses.

Rolling his eyes again, Crowley shoots Hastur a look of circumstance.

"If you're interested in those things, I can give you a couple of internet pages that will work better for you," the redhead crosses her arms.

Aziraphale swallows looking at both of them and thinking for the first time with a little less absolute terror since he opened his eyes down here.

"Eh? Internet pages?" Hastur asks, not understanding him.

"Well, thanks for bringing him here and for your invaluable help. Next time, try to be a bit more hospitable with our guests; hell is already ill-mannered enough without your interventions," Crowley gestures to indicate the door.

"Do you think I'm the only one who wants this, Crowley? I have many demons like me fed up with you and all this. The angel is NOT a guest, he's a prisoner. And he still is despite your... romantic rescue. Are you going to take him out of here carrying him and giving him kisses in front of all hell?"

Crowley looks at him with a face of many circumstances because she really has NO IDEA how to get him out of here.

"Some might understand better what a covert operation is like this."

"What covert operation?" Aziraphale suddenly asks, like... this is new to me, I've never heard of this before.

"Don't get involved, angel, the adults are talking," she looks at him and gestures for him to go to the door.

"But, darling..."

Crowley looks at him again because... really, if anyone has a better idea, this is the time to present it. Or give her a turn with the brain-cell, assholes. You're hogging it!

Aziraphale looks at her with a overwhelmed face too because he wants them to believe he's a lovestruck idiot who assumes despite all the conversation they've had in front of him... well, that Crowley is reliable.

"Darling," Hastur repeats mockingly, looking back at Aziraphale.

Okay, the problem is Crowley doesn't get it because that's how he always acts. Aziraphale feels a bit small with Hastur because... let's say he's learned to fear him a lot more than he did after these days.

Crowley takes off her glasses and pinches the bridge of her nose trying to hide the blush that has come over him a bit.

Aziraphale takes a deep breath... and decides that okay, they'll give these demonstrations to Hastur some other time that is not this one.

"You know what? fine. Let's go," Crowley decides.

"What do you think will happen, Crowley, when Lord Beelzebub finds out that we had the angel locked up... in hell's dungeon... and that you decided to get him out and leave?" Hastur asks Crowley.

"Let's do something," Crowley proposes changing her mind. "You go back to lock him up. You go to Beelzebub, look for her, and tell her we have him here, that we're going to kill him, and that the plan is for me to do the same I was doing to him, to Gabriel because he's a higher-ranking angel and can give us better benefits. And if we have her consent, I'll take care of this myself."

"What?!" Aziraphale protests and then... yes, then he realizes that Crowley... is a girl?!

"Don't take it personally," Crowley asks Aziraphale, smiling and shrugging. Hastur hesitates... because that doesn't sound like a damn bad plan.

"Are you going to... seduce Gabriel? I don't believe you," Hastur asserts.

"Why not? If I could handle this..." Crowley points Aziraphale.

Aziraphale blinks not knowing what the hell she's doing. He blushes.

"And you're going to kill me? This angel? If you're given permission to seduce Gabriel," Hastur repeats.

"That's right," Crowley agrees trying to sound as calm and confident as possible because she's risking a lot for a couple of questions and an intuition.

Aziraphale pales a bit thinking that... Crowley must have a plan, yes, but... he didn't expect this.

"I'm going to go tell Lord Beelzebub that NOW and you're going to stay right here locked up with the angel," Hastur sentences, pointing at him.

"Whatever," Crowley rolls his eyes as if all this were completely irrelevant to her.

Hastur smiles smugly and goes to the door, slamming it shut behind him, and reigniting the fire. Crowley moistens her lips pretending again not to be in a bloody panic attack.

"Y-You just negotiated my life against... seducing Gabriel..."

She looks at him sideways. Aziraphale looks at her, unbelieving.

"Cool, isn't it?" she replies sarcastically, smiling.

"And you're going to kill me directly..."

"They haven't said yes yet," she smiles. "But I can let you choose the way, if that comforts you in any way."

"B-But..." The double blink. And it's that I don't know about you, but Aziraphale perfectly considers it possible that Beelzebub will say... yes.

Okay, okay... Crowley wouldn't be so sure if she hadn't tortured him before with uncomfortable questions and forbid her from doing it two thousand five hundred times. Anyway, she moves around the room trying to find a way out, even if it's with the little trick of the zombie apocalypse... which she hates because then her hair gets full of dirt and she doesn't know if it's going to work.

"It's not bad here... I can't do miracles here, apparently the ground is cursed," Aziraphale keeps looking at her a bit desolately with this.

"Thanks, two minutes of appreciation for Hastur's exquisite plan is just what I need right now," she protests frustrated.

"Thank you for coming..." the angel whispers and hugs himself a little.

"Don't thank me, damn it. Especially not here."

"I'm sorry..." he lowers his ears.

"Ugh!" frustrated, she hits the door because she can't extinguish the fire and doesn't know what to do.

"You're... a girl."

"Don't you like it?" she glances at him.

"You look very pretty," he smiles a little and blushes.

Crowley smiles back at him, and it's... yesterday they fought, but they can't talk about that here.

It wasn't yesterday, it was like a hundred years ago!

It was yesterday!

No! A lifetime has passed! He looks at his hands.

Anyway, time is an illusion.

"How are you going to do it?"

"Well, you tell me," she looks at him sideways while still trying things with the door, all to no avail.

"Me? You're the one who has... proposed this new plan of killing me in exchange for courting, of all people... Gabriel."

"And it's a damn good plan. Can I kindly ask you to kill yourself?" Crowley smiles showing her teeth, and of course she would like to tell him that she's bluffing, but she's sure they're being watched.

"I don't know how to kill myself." Aziraphale looks at her and then looks at his hands again.

"That's going to be a problem..." she turns back to the walls, trying again, who knows what, although she knows perfectly well that if the trick from Earth hasn't worked, nothing else will, but well, Hastur lacks imagination, so...

"Um... I doubt Gabriel will do anything to stop this or... to save me, if you're counting on it."

"Every time that guy seems more attractive to me," she sarcastically protests.

"Or perhaps it's just what you want..." Aziraphale adds, looking at her. "Maybe you could try that corner..."

She looks at him.

"I blessed it..."

Crowley approaches where he points and tries the trick with the earth again; it moves a bit but not enough.

"Come, help me," the demon asks, gesturing with her hand. He approaches, limping a little.

Crowley squeezes her eyes shut and reaches out her hand involuntarily. Aziraphale moves his wing to subtly cover them both as best as possible and takes her hand, squeezing it securely.

She pulls him towards her to take him by the waist, almost letting herself fall on him, wanting to hug him completely. She won't stop him, really. And it's... they fought, and he's terribly scared (though less now, really, since she appeared.)

"Thank you for coming," he whispers again.

"Shut up. Help me get out."

"There's only a small space. Do you think they'll hear us?"

"Probably, but we'll deal with that later."

Aziraphale moves his wing a little and caresses her cheek with it. Crowley smiles slightly at that and hugs him a little tighter.

"What do I do?"

"We need to get out. Upwards, so raise your hands and ask the earth to... move."

"I've tried some things, believe me, after your beloved Hastur's procedures... I considered that being here wasn't a good idea," he raises his arms anyway and moistens his lips...

"And?"

"I'm still here, aren't I? The problem... is... that thing that consumed Bentley at some point."

"What?" mentioning Bentley tenses her automatically.

"Your complete brilliantly added devil's dust... which is actually... well, a bit annoying and why I haven't left here. The other doesn't hurt me."

"Devil's dust," she repeats slowly.

"Take down everything you find."

"Whatever you say, Hermione," she mocks him.

"Shut up," he protests and tries to move the earth as she asked. Crowley does the same, simultaneously.

While they are dismantling the infernal prison... suddenly the door flies open.

"CROWLEY!" It's Beelzebub's voice.