As she got back to her room, she kept asking herself the same question. Did he truly had forgiven her? They must meet in a few hours in her garden. What if those few hours will change everything? They only way to find out was to wait and talk to him.

She saw so many different emotions on his face last night, she could not help but wonder which one of them was true in the end? He said he doesn't want her to give up writing a column, that was a shock indeed. He asked her only to not take a ride alone. She panicked slightly about the idea of him interfering somehow in her thoughts. She knew Eloise did had a big impact on her opinions before. Could it be the same with Colin? She truly feared that. She had only found her real voice this season.

And then images of last night flashed in her mind. The ring on her finger was a definite proof of it being real. Him undressing her, kissing her. It was the first time she saw a man completely naked. The overall feeling of that night and morning felt overwhelming. One second, he was all touchy and the next so distant. Is it how it's going to be from now on? He did say he simply needs time. And she will give him as much time as he needs.

Her mind went way too far, replaying each groan, kiss and words of love, when it was already time to meet him again. She changed and made herself look presentable. Thank God, no one of her family didn't even notice her being gone the whole night. As she went to that garden, every cell in her body felt heavy somehow.

"Good day." They met near the same bench where he proposed his help to find her a husband, earlier that season.

"Good day, Penelope." He quickly looked at her and slide his eyes down. Apparently, the grass was more exciting now.

"You wanted to talk…" She started, as they both sit on the bench, him looking straight ahead, as her eyes were trying to find at least some answers on his face.

"Actually, you wanted to tell me something first, if I remember correctly." His voice was as firm as it was hurt.

"Yes, but you already know it. I wanted to tell you… that I'm… Lady Whistledown." She reached out for his hand, but he only yanked his away.

"So, you actually were planning on telling me?" He looked at her suddenly, a light of hope in his cold eyes.

"Of course, Colin. I wanted to tell you. Truly." She wanted, but she was not even given time to truly think about, being pressed like that by El.

"Okay, well, we just have to believe you, I suppose." The smirk on his face was probably visible from galaxy, as he was not even trying to hide his annoyance.

"Colin…"

"No. You just don't understand. I want to trust you, Pen, I want to." He looked up at the clear blue sky and took a deep breath. He wanted to trust her, but could he really? "But what hurts the most is that in the end we will never know. I found out before you said anything." The disappointment in his voice broke her heart. How she wished that she would simply have a bit more time. If only… her plan worked as she hopped all this time. She was starting to get lose in her thoughts, as he spoke again.

"For days I've been thinking that maybe it's me. Maybe you behaving like that because of something I did. Maybe it was just too quick for you… God, I was worried for you." He looked up at her and she saw tears on his face. "And all along you knew and you didn't do anything." Her own tears starting to come.

"Colin, I was just trying to find the right moment. Please…" She was crying now begging, pleading him.

"Allright, let's talk what are we going to do next?" He shook his head and looked back to the ground.

"What do you mean next?" She was so lost now. What could be next?

"It is apparent that the whole Ton is looking for Lady Whistledown. Some because of curiosity, some…" There was a fear in his voice. A care maybe.

"I wanted to end it." She simply said.

"But you also said it's the most important thing for you." His glare was still fixated on the ground.

"I didn't say that." As she said it, he looked up. Painful tears in his eyes. The only thing he did believe now that he could not be the reason for her to give up something he never found. He loved her too much to make her do it.

"But I can see that, I can see that, Pen." His voice raised, he was screaming now. Why was she denying something so obvious? "It is who you are. You found your purpose. Some spent their whole life not even being close."

"Colin. No." She reached out and grabbed his hand hard. "Yes, I do enjoy writing each issue. But I thought it was crystal clear what is more important for me." Could he not see it? Could he not see just how important he was, it all was for her? She would give up anything for the love of her life.

"But you don't have to give up something you love, just for me." He was more than upset, barely holding her hand back. While those words hurt her more than anything. And it opened her eyes. She doesn't. She doesn't? But what about…? Wait, just for him? Did he even know how much he meant to her?

"Just?" She asked whispering. Colin, do you even know…? – she thought.

"The main thing is, if you want to continue being Lady Whistledown, I will not stand in your way. You can do anything you want to. Even if it's talking a ride alone in that part of the Town at night." That took her breath away. It felt like an acceptance and a goodbye at the same time. She squeezed his hand.

"Colin, I don't need you to take care of me all the time." She said it as caring as she could. Just as she was about to continue her thought he interrupted her.

"I heard that already, Pen. You don't really need me." He put her hand back on the bench, leaving her alone.

"No…" Just as Pen started to talk, they both saw Eloise coming their way. Oh, God. Just not now. Not now. – She thought.

"Eloise!" Colin said.

"Colin, Pen. Good day." Eloise said coming closer to them. Colin quickly wiping away his tears and taking a deep breath.

"What are you doing here?" Pen asked almost right away, not even trying to hide her own tears in her eyes.

"I just wanted to talk to…" Eloise stated shyly, as she was confused by what was going on.

"You can leave it, El, he knows." Pen said in an annoyed way, shaking her head.

"Wait, you also know?" The shock on Colin's face was mistakenly mixed with his anger being back.

"Yes, she found out in the end of last season." Pen waived at El, as she looked up to the sky herself, trying to keep those tears from falling.

"And you only telling me that now? How could you? You told her but you were trying to find the right moment all this time to tell me?" He was raging now. How could she? How was he supposed to believe any of her words now?

"Actually, she didn't tell me, I found out on my own." Eloise answered, somewhat guilty looking at Colin. She did not want him to be mad at her too.

"Of course… And you finding out about our engagement decided to support this lie?" He was screaming on the top of his lungs now, standing up quickly and taking a step closer to Eloise. El's heart skipped a bit, as she jumped slightly.

"No, Colin, I was trying to make her tell you." She tried, but it seemed it just made everything worse. That was not why she was coming to see Pen.

"Oh, so really, you didn't really plan to tell me then? Is that right? Is it?" Now Colin's anger was back at Penelope, as he lowered his body over her, tears cascading on her face.

"No, Colin, please." Pen cried. She cried. She wanted to… She did…

"Writing all those things about Eloise, my family and me? And you were going to marry me with this secret still?" He screamed that out, and swiftly turned around, facing his back to both of them. His hands flying to his head. He took a deep breath and half faced Eloise, his back still turned to Pen. "And you knowing all along and no word… no word…" The pain in those words was undeniable. As Eloise was still gasping for words, Pen tried again.

And standing up, she said. "Colin, please…" Only for him to cut her once again.

"I am not sure I can ever forgive you." He threw those words to her face and walked away leaving both El and Pen standing there.