Hazbin Hotel: Hellish Misfits
Chapter 4: Overture
The History and Heirarchy of Hell
Many years ago, Hell was accidentally created after Lucifer and Lilith gave humanity free will by offering Eve the Fruit of Knowledge. After Lucifer and Lilith were cast into the dark pit, Lucifer ruled over Hell albeit not directly, but Lilith thrived in Hell, using her voice and her songs to empower all of demonkind and allowing Hell to grow stronger every day, until Heaven made the heartless decision to allow once a year, an Extermination put in place to prevent Hell from rising against Heaven.
But in its growth, Hell became the supernatural realm of the Demons. Inhabited by a population of indigenous hellborn: entities that were born in Hell, and Sinners: Humans who have died and had had their souls sent to Hell.
The atmosphere is perpetually choleric, disorderly, and noxious, though capable of supporting life. Hell's geography was divided into Nine Rings, two still undiscovered and uninhabited. Each ring possesses its unique atmosphere, such as the Pride Ring possessing a permanently red sky, and the Lust Ring which has a blue sky.
Hellborn demons have the ability to traverse across any of the rings, made easily accessible via an extensive elevator network, whereas sinner demons are confined to the top-most ring, the Pride Ring, by methods and reasons unknown. Possibly not able to do so as the technology has not been adjusted to souls that were formerly human.
Hell's society is incredibly chaotic due to the unstable and hostile disposition of its populace. There aren't many rules in the world as it's kind of like a free-for-all and in constant anarchy, but despite this, the inhabitants of Hell have their law system, and there are rules set in place by the Angels and Hell's royal family, the Goetia Family being one of them. The realms also are capable of providing and maintaining rudimentary public services.
Within Hell's civilization, there exists a crude form of hierarchy, defined by power. Overlords, known only to be in the Pride Ring, rank just above regular Sinner Demons and place fifth in terms of power in Hell's hierarchy and gain power by gain and increase their power by "owning" souls through the power of 'The Deal', with all of Hell being ruled by a king: the fallen angel, Lucifer Morningstar, whose daughter and heir apparent would be next to rule one day.
Charlie closed the book with the title mentioned before as Keekee was lying on her lap. She was sitting at a desk in her room, as she looked determined on this, as she gently touched the cover, telling herself, "Don't worry, Mom. I'm not going to fail this time."
Charlie looked towards her door as she felt her cheeks grow hot and her eyes widened when she recognized the voice.
"Aah! Oh, shit," Charlie said in surprise as she held the book against her chest. The memories of their talk from before Alastor arrived flashed in her mind.
She gulped before calming herself down and composing herself. 'Keep calm, Charlie, it's just James,' she thought as she opened the door to see a silent James.
"Hi James," Charlie said with her usual bright smile, "Isn't it a great morning in Hell?"
James remained silent even as Charlie remained positive.
After a moment, Charlie realized what was causing James to remain silent, "You heard all that, didn't you," she asked him feeling embarrassed.
James smiled, as he shrugged, "Yeah, I would have knocked on the door sooner, but the story was so attention-drawing, I wanted to hear it and not interrupt." He then looked at the book, as he asked, "So all of that is true then? I mean, I get the Extermination and Alastor as an Overlord, so one day you will rule all of Hell?"
Charlie looked solemnly as she nodded. "Yes... But even before yesterday's... event. I've never been very popular with the citizens of Hell," Charlie explained to James, "That's not to say that I'm trying to use hotel and rehabilitating the sinners as ways of being liked. I truly want them to escape the Extermination. I just can't see myself being a good Queen of Hell if no one takes me seriously."
James walked over and sat with her as he said, "Well.. maybe you could ask your parents on advice for that." But shrugged, "But if they don't have the answers, it's not whether or not what you say, it's what you do." He smiled to her as he said, "And this Hotel screams a bit action of wanting to save as many as you can."
Charlie smiled at the support James was giving her. "Thank you, James," Charlie said as she began to feel better, "Just hearing someone believe in saving lives in Hell makes me feel like I'm making a difference in some way."
"And I'm not just saying this so you can help me and Lydia get up to Heaven faster, is all," James smiled, as he shrugged, "It's eternity, that's actually kind of the beauty of waiting. I'm in no rush."
Charlie smiled from hearing that as most people in Hell would try to use others, but James really was different. It really reminded her that he ended up here by accident and that he was proof that people can be good.
"And I promised that I'd do everything to prove that you and Lydia deserve to be in Heaven," Charlie replied back smiling.
He then blinked, "Oh wait, I came up here for a reason," James stood up as he explained, "Alastor said he had something to show us in the lobby."
Charlie became nervous at something that Alastor wanted to show her. She made the decision to trust Alastor, but she still felt uneasy about Alastor's true intentions. She stood up and walked with James towards the hallway. But as she did, she and James heard a loud bell ringing throughout the city. The two turned to see the Bell Tower at the Heaven Embassy. She became sad as that tower was a grim reminder that the Extermination would be back in another year. James placed a hand on her shoulder to support her. She smiled as the two walked down the hallway.
The scene turned static before it fixed itself to reveal a sinner stabbing another demon to death with a knife before a voice caught their attention, and any nearby Sinners, even the one who was stabbed got up to look, "Well, hello there, you wayward Sinner! Do you like blood, violence, and depravity of a sexual nature?"
The camera pulled back even as the voice, which was Alastor's, said, showing the landscape "Of course you do, that's why you're in Hell! But what would you say if I told you there was a place to stay that had none of that?"
As the camera rolled, the scene switched from the front of the Hazbin Hotel, to Charlie on camera and she waved nervously, "Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, a misguided path to redemption! Founded five days ago by Lucifer's delusional daughter, Charlotte Morningstar!"
Angel Dust came into view, putting two-fingers over the head prank behind her, "Come place your fate in her inexperienced hands, as she tries to work through her daddy issues by fixing you!"
The scene shifted to the bartender, Husk and Clint, who were clearly drunk, passing out on the ground as Niffty, dressed as the hotel's maid, tried to stab and chase after a bug, it then showed Bruce was working on some pipes that seemed to not be 'agreeing' with him, "Here we offer fun things, such as somewhat functional staff and 24-hour pest control and repairs."
Even as the camera showed the room being customized compared to each other, "Custom rooms, and just look at this tacky parlor!"
The camera showed Angel Dust, Lydia, and Dan lounging in the parlor before a support beam falling on the table, close to KeeKee, scaring the demon cat before it leapt into Lydia's arms, "Enjoy riveting conversation with rare few, and seemingly misplaced, residents."
Angel Dust flipped Alastor off, as a sign appears, spinning, "Wow!"
And then, and then the poor drawing of the hotel "All this, and more at the Hazbin Hotel! Your last desperate attempt at salvation starts here!"
before the commercial ended.
The screen turned off. While Alastor, being the one to do so with his cane-o-phone, turned to those assembled and asked, smiling at them, "So, what do you think?"
Sitting on the couch, James, Charlie, Vaggie, Lydia, Clint, and Dan were left surprised by commercial as it poorly explained that the objective of the hotel was to help sinners be better individuals. This ad portrayed the hotel the same way the new cast Charlie was on yesterday did by making it seem like a huge joke.
Vaggie frowned, as she asked, clearly showing her dislike of the commercial, "I'm sorry, but what the fuck was that?"
"Yeah," Charlie started, trying to come up with something to say, while not trying to get on Alastor's bad side, "Alastor. I admit the commercial was a thoughtful idea, but it seems like um… well, it's um…"
"Bad," Vaggie groaned. "The world you're looking for is bad."
"Clearly someone's inexperience with using a digital video camera," Lydia frowned.
Even James shot out, "Alastor. You said that this was important. This seems more like a poor attempt at bad comedy."
"Well, lad. I was going for hilarious." Alastor told James, still smiling, waving his hands to show what he was going for despite the disapproving looks he was getting from those who left it up to him.
"Hilarious!? It didn't explain anything about how we're trying to save demons from extermination," Vaggie exclaimed in anger, "Which is the whole point!"
"This commercial makes it seem like the hotel is just a place to be made fun of rather than what we're trying to do here," Lydia added, "If I didn't know about the hotel and learned about it through this, I'd think it was a trap to capture people and do who knows what to them!"
"Please as if I would do something as overdrawn as H. ." Alastor said, referencing the first serial killer in American history.
Alastor then glanced to Charlie for her take on this since she was his business partner.
"They're right, Alastor," Charlie explained to him, "The commercial was to let sinners know we are trying to help them."
"Well, clearly you're enjoying this even if it's at our expense," Vaggie exclaimed in anger as she stood up, "This isn't what we're trying to represent with this hotel. When you showed up here last week, you told us you would help run this hotel. Instead, you're making a mockery of us like what Angel Dust did during the news cast last. Nobody's going to want to come to a place that a powerful overlord like you thinks is a waste of time! You're practically saying there's no hope of escaping the Extermination!"
Alastor remained smiling, just as James was about to speak up, but the Radio Demon turned to him, before saying, "My boy, please be careful what you say. Otherwise someone might take that as an insulative challenge." His eyes flashing as radio dials again, even as his Voodoo signs showed up.
"Well, how's about this: Alastor could broadcast on the Radio about the Hotel, while we can work on the commercial," James compromised, as he smirked, "I took a high school class on TV production, so I might help with the editing."
Vaggie rubbed her brow at this development while Alastor's smiled, "Now there's a bright idea. I figured there was a reason why Charlie kept this clever young man around,"Alastor commented ruffling James' hair.
Angel Dust raised his hand from the couch, catching everyone's attention, as Vaggie grumbled, "What?"
Angel took a bottle with one arm and pointed all three arms at himself. "If'n you're filming a commercial, can I suggest you take better advantage of the talented celebrity you have right here," Angel said, as he smirked, catching all their attention.
Everyone arched an eyebrow, but Vaggie didn't like it, and made it visible as she answered, "Angel, you're a porn star."
"A famous porn star," Angel corrected, as he was unfazed by her tone, "I'll have the horniest sinners knocking these walls down to get in."
Vaggie frowned as she stated, "We are not filming a porn as a commercial. Who'd want to see that?"
Dan smirked, "I can think of a few."
"Excluding all the horndogs," Lydia grumbled.
"Why not? Sex sells, don't it," Angel suggested, as Alastor appeared right beside the couch next to Angel, "I swear if you film me going at it with Mr. fancy talk creepy voice here, you'd be rolling in participants willing to stay at this tacky hotel."
Alastor laughed with amusement, but was shown in his face he wouldn't do it, "Ha ha. Never going to happen in a trillion years."
"If there was sex in the commercial, it would be seen as false advertising when the other desperate demons arrived looking for their turn," Dan said not seeing the good in it either.
Charlie smiled, trying to be polite, as she said, "Angel, I appreciate you wanting to use your special skills to, um, attract folks to the hotel, but I really don't want to exploit you in that way."
"Oh, please, baby," Angle assured her, being okay with it. "This body was made to be exploited. I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs. I got the lung capacity." He laughed, as he showed his legs again, "Oh, I got the legs."
"You said legs twice," James said.
"Mostly because sickos love legs," Angel said, as he went on, "The gag reflex, the holes, the chest fluff everyone thinks are tits."
Dan leaned to Lydia as he whispered, "I kinda thought those were tits."
Charlie chuckled nervously until her phone rang. She looked at it and blinked, seeing it was from her father. "Hold that thought, I'll be right back." She got up as she went somewhere to talk to her father.
"I could keep going all night, baby," Angel told her.
"Hey, I have a question," Angel spoke up, getting Vaggie, Dan, James, and Lydia his full attention, as he pointed to Alastor, "If freaky face over there is so powerful, then why can't he just make people stay here?"
Dan blinked, as he looked at him and asked, "Hey, yeah. Why can't he do that?"
"Oh, believe me. I can," Alastor smiled with dark intention as his body was outlined with his brand of Dark Magic.
"Why do you think I'm here?"
The magic ceased as everyone looked to see Husk looking extremely annoyed as he cleaned classes at the bar.
"You actually think I'd be cleaning bottles and listening to you fucks bitch and moan all the time if that guy wasn't forcing me," Husk asked while pointing out Alastor to emphasize his point of being forced into running the bar. Suddenly, Niffty popped up from behind the counter with her usual smile while having her hand raised.
"I like being forced," Niffty said sounding joyful at the idea of being forced into something. Even if it meant a great deal of pain.
"Keep that to yourself, Nif," Husk said not wanting to deal with his co-worker's personality.
"What? You don't love being here with me, Whiskers," Angel said to him, smirking as loved to flirt/tease with the barkeep.
Husker though, wasn't all that thrilled about it as he warned him, "Call me Whiskers again and I'll jam that bottle down your throat."
"Kinky," Angel smirked, taking up the challenge, as everyone rolled their eyes at this, as Angel continued, "Come on, keep talking dirty."
"One thing I'll say about this place, it's never boring," Clint said enjoying the show, "Maybe Alastor should've mentioned that in the ad."
Vaggie sighed as she couldn't handle this, "Angel. Let Husk do his job, And, no, we can't force sinners to stay here. They need to choose to."
"Vaggie's right," James added, "If we force them, it would just be a prison. Not the kind of environment needed to help sinners ascend to Heaven."
"I'm choosing to be here and I think it's all stupid. We're in Hell. That's kind of the end of the road, ain't it," Angel Dust replied before pointing out to James and Lydia, "At least for those that actually sinned unlike those two who say they ended up here by accident. I still think that story's a load of bullshit."
Husker snorted, "I'm a gambler and I find that to be a shitty bluff. Picking a fight with Death of all people?"
Bruce walked in, as Vaggie asked him, "Well, what about you?" Bruce thought on it, as he attempted to come up with an answer. Bruce looked to them, as they all stared at him, awaiting anything he would say. But the quiet man shrugged, making a 50/50 wave with his hand, and walked off leaving them once again in annoyed stupified of his continued silence.
"Does that one ever talk," Angel Dust asked Clint while pointing at Bruce, "Seriously, I've never seen him say anything or make any sound."
"Nope, not a peep. How do you think he got the Quiet Bruce," Clint replied, "Once you get to know him, you learn to understand what he's saying."
"Being silent your entire life," Alastor added, "I can't imagine a worse fate than that."
Niffty then dashed off to prove she can.
Angel shrugged, "Well, whatever on all that. So long as I can keep crashing here for free. Crack is expensive."
Meanwhile
Charlie had been conversing with her father during the whole conversation in the main lobby. And after the phone call, she seemed really happy with the news her father brought to her. "Yeah, I can totally, yeah," she smiled, as she nodded, "I'll head over there right away. Okay?" She hung up and gasped in excitement. Whatever she and her father talked about had brighten her spirts up greatly, "Yes…YES!"
Charlie giggled in excitement when she heard about the news. She peeked around the corner, seeing the two that could help her as she waved frantically, and called out in gibberish, "James! Vaggie! Holy, shit!"
Both jumped, being freaked out by that, "Ah!/, Yikes, what?" Charlie mumbled and waved to them to come to her for some exciting news.
James and Vaggie looked at each other for a minute before walking around the corner to see Charlie looking so happy that she could explode like a firecracker.
"What's going on," Vaggie asked.
"Did your dad have good news," James asked her.
Charlie breathed in and out to calm her nerves so she could explain, but she was explaining so fast due to her excitement, "My dad just called, he said that the leader of the Angel Army wants to meet. He asked if I could go instead."
James blinked, "Wait, what?"
"I know, right," Charlie smiled, "This is perfect. I can explain to them the idea of the hotel."
Vaggie however was far from ecstatic about the news, "They're still here?! But-but, the extermination just happened," Vaggie said in confusion and panic, "What would they want this soon after-"
Suddenly, Vaggie's eyes widened as she looked towards James and remembered how he met him.
"Oh shit! Don't tell me they know about the dead Exorcists,' Vaggie thought in alarm, 'What if they already know that he killed them!?'
Vaggie could only imagine the ramifications of harboring a killer of angels in the hotel and the kind of attention it would draw from the angels and the demons.
Charlie however was not paying attention to her best friend as she felt a song coming on.
I can do this! Somehow, I know it, Charlie looked determined as she stepped to the main lobby hall, I'll get Heaven behind my plans!
Vaggie walked up with James following her to try and stop Charlie, or to slow down, "Charlie, hold on..."
There's just no way I could blow it, Charlie looked determined to them both, Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance!
"It's just a meeting," James chuckled to her to keep her down to Earth.
To change their minds, And touch their hearts, Charlie blinked on that, as she arched an eyebrow, Or... whatever angels have!
Vaggie groaned, as she held her forehead, "This could be bad..."
She turned to them both, as she cheered her friend, Cheer up, Vaggie! This could be swell! She grabbed her hand, as she grabbed James, twirling them in a circle, as all three held to each other as Charlie was beaming with positivity, Something tells me that today will be a happy day in Hell!
She let them both go as she twirled away, as the two were righting themselves as Vaggie said, "Okay, but just don't... sing to them."
Just before Vaggie could warn her and James was righting himself, Angel Dust, Alastor, Dan, Clint, Lydia, Niffty, and Keekee were already at the window where they could see Charlie singing out in the destroyed but slowly recovering Pentagram City, as Angel Dust turned back to Vaggie still drinking from a bottle.
"That bitch is halfway down the street," Angel answered.
James recovered, as Vaggie asked, "Is she—?"
"Oh, she's dancin'," Angel answered, smirking.
"And she's singing," Lydia said.
"Ugh, no..." Vaggie groaned as she slumped and held her forehead.
James bolted as he said, "I'll go after her."
Pentagram City
Charlie continued to dance her way down the street while being completely oblivious to the dead bodies and the destruction from the Extermination that was slowly being repaired.
Even as she sang, There's a warm, fuzzy feeling. That wafts through the air.
With James racing after her as she did.
Charlie came to a window of a sex dungeon where a Hellhound was humping against an imp wearing a sadomasochism mask. Every street so revealing. It's hard not to stare! They noticed her, and Charlie awkwardly fled before continuing to sing.
It's a realm so appealing it beats anywhere, Charlie accidentally stepped on a dead shark demon that was releasing a very bad smelly fume into her nose. She cautiously avoided the corpse and presses on the street, If you don't mind the smell...
It's a happy day in Hell!
Charlie waved at a demon who was reading a newspaper but was actually a meth addict with a spoon full of the drug.
"Hi, mister," Charlie said with a smile.
"Go fuck yourself," the demon shouted back.
As she walked passed him, One demon opens his window, revealing his apartment on fire, singing with a tired expression, "There's an endless trash fire that's burning my soul"
"Hello!" Charlie called waving at the demon.
An Imp-like demon was on a larger, fatter demon singing, And a ton of barbed wire to shove in his hole!
"Ah, excuse me!" Charlie exclaimed apologizing to the two she bumped into.
A demon dressed as an executioner would sing, with a deep voice. Doing what is required, we all have our role.
A demon with a knife in his eye would poke out and sung, I'm not doin' well!
They all, minus the one with the knife in his eye, came and sung, Another shitty day in Hell!
James raced to catch up, avoiding the crowd, as it returned to normal, but he still had so much ground to cover.
Charlie climbed on the trunk of the destroyed car and faced the other direction of the demons.
If I can show them the dream I've dreamed, Charlie continued to sing oblivious to the other demons' pain, That any soul can change!
Back at the Hazbin Hotel
Vaggie came into the watchtower from the ship built into the left side of the building, as if she was calling out to her only friend in Hell, Those angels' minds are hard to change
Then they will know everyone can be redeemed, Charlie bolted onward to the Heaven Tower, with James following behind, From the evil to the strange!
Though James knew the truth as he kept after her, They're bloodthirsty and deranged
"I can hear all their stories. The lost and displaced," Charlie continued to sing as she danced through the street, "And I know they're more of an acquired taste. But! If I open the door and give them a place. At my Hazbin Hotel. It'll be a happy day in Hell!"
Just as James was about to catch up with Charlie to stop her, Charlie grabbed on to a truck that was passing by from behind as she continued down the street followed by James who tried to catch up with her.
Charlie continued to ride on the truck as it passed through key parts of the city. From the porn studio. Where the cinephiles go, and pervert demons were window watching the scene, as an Owl Sinner demon was panting at what he saw, To watch award-winning demon bukkake shows!
The truck passed right into Cannibal town, to where the Tower was, as she hopped off, walking about the town, as the humanoid Sinner Demons with pale skin, black eyes, and sharp teeth had a casual day, To the Cannibal Town. Where they don't wear a frown cause," Charlie sang only for some blood to get shot in her eye from one of the corpses that the cannibals were eating from as another gulped down a hand, elbow first, "Holy shit! Ew, my gosh! WHY?!"
And I don't give a crow that, she spun around, as her right eye was burning, as she blinked and cringed to get it better, His brain's got in my eye! She smiled, as she returned to normal again, Cause I know I can spare them. From Heaven's genocide!
She spun around, as she declared final to herself, I can do this, I just know it!
Though as she started, all the demons she was with began to sing her song along with her.
A Sinner sung along as he called out, There's an Endless Trash Fire Burning my Soul
I'll get Heaven behind my plans!
There's just no way I could blow it.
The big demon before with the barbed wire smiled, I kinda like the barbed wire that's shoved in my hole.
Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance!
She stood proud and ready as she smiled, To change their minds
But right in the moment, a slug demon with a trenchcoat came into the picture, exhibiting his nudist body in front of Charlie, which creeped her out, And touch my parts!
"NO!" James said, as he suddenly popped out of nowhere in front of them, getting in between them both. He then gently led Charlie away, as he looked to the slug, "Not her. Not today, okay? Good. Bye."
The two then continued their way, as they said together, Fulfill your/my destiny!
The trenchcoat Demon shrugged, as he closed up his coat, and slithered on, "Your loss, bitch!"
Charlie looked to James as they now stood at the stairs of the Heaven Tower. The exterior was white and gold and built almost like a church. The clock face had a golden pentagram embossed on it and below it, the Extermination countdown timer that counted the days to the next Extermination. Holding up the clocktower portion of the building was an hourglass several stories tall.
She smiled to James, I can already tell!
He smiled back, as he and the two raced to the stairs, Today is gonna bе a fuckin' happy day in Hell! all around, the demons, the cannibals who hate an intestine like a spaghetti strand, Vaggie back at the tower, all finished that last note, and then song over as the town returned to normal.
Though James sighed, as he looked to Charlie, "Next time, slow down. It was nuts trying to catch up to you. I almost ended up in Block War Avenue. And there's actually an endless block war going on."
"Sorry, but I'm so excited, James," Charlie said as she held his hands, "Surely the angels will support this plan! Plus, I can tell them about the mix-up with you and Lydia being here! You'll be able to go to Heaven now!"
James shrugged, "Well, I mean... I'm in no rush, we don't have to start with that." He smiled as he said, "We still have to pitch them the idea about the hotel before we drop that bomb there." He then opened the door, but blinked, as he and Charlie looked, and saw it was rather... quiet.
They stepped in and looked around as they closed the doors behind them, as they entered the lobby. The lobby was light purple with gold trim, ornate gold couches with white cushions on either side of the open room, and a large, wavy gold chandelier above the center of the room. There were mosaic windows with crosses on the sides of the room until the sets of golden automatic doors on either side of the front desk, which was also gold with small white accenting. Above the doors were statues of Exorcists and behind the front desk far in was a large mosaic mural of a biblically accurate seraph raining down light onto fire below. Atop the desk was a single golden bell.
James blinked, as he looked around, "WEll, this is no different than a church back on Earth."
"Really," Charlie asked, "Are they all this empty?"
"Yeah. The famous ones at least," James replied as the two entered the building.
"Hello!" Charlie called out, as her voice echoed. The two went down further, through the lobbyway, as they made their way to the front desk. Though she called out again, "Hello?" Another echo chambered out, as she shivered, "Creepy..."
The two made their way to the front desk with no one but a single bell. She tapped the bell to ring it, and at the instant, a golden scroll and feather ink pen floated from above over to her, "Oh okay," she then sighed in as she said, "Also creepy."
James took the feather ink pen as well, as he signed in too, "Nobody's here." He looked to her and asked, "Your dad did say the leader of the Exorcists was here, right?"
"He should be," Charlie said as she looked around.
"I'll lose a lot of respect for Heaven if this turns out to be some sick joke or a trap," James said as he was starting to feel uneasy about this.
Right then, the twin doors slid open to show Charlie and James the meeting room, and the two entered inside the dark room with no one around.
James looked around, as he shrugged, "Nobody's here."
"Well, there has to be someone," Charlie said, not liking this, "Uh...hello? Is anyone here?"
The lights suddenly switched on, revealing two angels at the end of the room.
The one sitting down was an angel male with a human appearance, he wore a mask that appeared similar to other Exorcists, however, with normal-looking eyes and golden facial expressions. The mask also held a pair of horns similar to an exorcist, albeit longer, smoother, and with a golden ornamental attachment on the tips. He also had a pair of large and golden wings on his back, n contrast to other angels that have appeared thus far, his halo iwa bright gold in appearance, and similar to the exorcists, had two spikes pointing up and down from each other, though these spikes were located at the front of his halo as opposed to the likes of the Exorcists' halo, which had its spikes in the middle, joined by a small dot. He wore a smooth white and golden cloak that appeared to have a large 'A' symbol emblazoned on the front. His visible hands were black in appearance, as well, and had golden tip spikes on the back of his collar.
Next to them was an Exorcist Angel, female, a nearly identical appearance to other Exorcists. The only visual differences appeared to be that her halo and right pupil were black with a white glow instead of white, her horns, and she had bloodstains on her dress.
"'Sup," the lead angel said, as he had a plate of ribs before him.
"Holy, shit," Charlie exclaimed as she fell backwards while James stared with unease.
'They look like the ones that were killing the demons before,' James thought as he recalled the first day he woke up in Hell and was attack, 'Not exactly what I expect from angels filling the roles of diplomates.'
The Exorcist angel next to her golden mask companion remained with a neutral face, apparently not thrilled to be around demons. James sensed the tension, as he nervously smiled and waved to her slightly, "Hey..." She snorted at the greeting but let her leader do the talking.
Charlie got back up and readjusted herself to introduce herself properly, smiling, "Hi, I'm Charlie. My dad asked me if I could meet you."
The Angel shrugged, "Yeah, I know."
Charlie then sat down, with James grabbing a chair and sa with her, as the angel ate his ribs like a buzzsaw, "Okay, well." She curtly bowed, "It's nice to meet you."
"Totally. It's nice to meet you, too," he calmly said, being welcoming, as he reached over to give Charlie a handshake. and as she was about to shake his hand, her hand slipped right through, revealing him to be a hologram, fizzing on and off after being touched, which freaked Charlie out, while James was surprised.
But also at the Angel's reaction, as he hopped up, smirking like a jackass and calling out, "Ha! I fucking got you." He turned to the Angel in questin, as he smirked, "Did you see that?"
The Angel nodded to the answer, inwardly enjoying how his superior tricked thedemons out.
The angel slapped his knee, as he cackled, "Ha. Good shit."
Charlie arched an eyebrow, as James was trying to figure this out, as he asked, "Wait. You're not here?"
"Ah, no. You think I'd come down there?," the angel asked, as he laughed obnoxiously, "No, I mean, I love the vibe, totally, I love your tunes. Pretty fucking hardcore, don't get me wrong. But! it's such a bummer! man. Everything down there's just so "eugh", ya know?" He chuckled, and went, "Ew."
Seeing the attitudes of both of these angels, James was slowly losing more respect for these angels with every word. He knew that not all angels were like these two, but having these two as the ones who represent Heaven was leaving a bad impression on him.
"Right," Charlie said dryly, but then smiled, "So, I'm happy we've got this opportunity to meet. There's a project that I've been working on that I really want to talk to you about-"
But the Angel put his finger on Charlie's lips to quiet her down for a moment. Which James thought odd since he was a hologram, as the Angel said, "Hey, hey, hey, hey, slow down. We've got time. How about we get to know each other a little. Mmm. How about lunch? You hungry? I got you," he presented the two the plate of ribs, as he gently handed it to Charlie. "Here's my personal favorite. You'll love it."
"Uh...thanks," Charlie said, a bit unsure, but happy at the gesture. Before James could say anything, she went to take a piece of a rib, but her hand passed right through them, also revealing to be a hologram, as they fizzdd on and off from the touch.
The Angel laughed out loud again, poking at her, as he got in her face, "I got you again, bitch!" He laughed in fullblown hilariousness, as he cackled, "Fuckin' hilarious!"
Charlie made a small unamused chuckle alongside his hyper laughter.
James though, cleared his throat, getting both their attention, as he looked dryly at the Angel. Sensing attitude, the Angel got in his face, as he said, "What? You don't find that funny!? I found it fuckin' hilarious for that bitch." Though James remained silent, as he looked at the Angel in the face, as he asked, "What? Got somethin' to say, Imp Boy? Go head," he said, as he dared him to, "I fuckin' dare you to tell something ta my face."
James calmly said, as he pointed to the Angel's face, "You have a boogie in your nose."
The Angel went wide eye, and shrunk back to his chair, as he blew at his nose, and rubbed his finger underneath it, "Oh shit!" And continuously tried to get it out.
Charlie arched an eyebrow, as she looked to James, who silently smirked and winked at her. She stifled a giggle, realizing James had pulled a harmless prank on this guy. And in some way, she really needed a laugh.
Meanwhile
Back at the Hotel
At the moment, all the staff were standing at attention. Angel was sending seductive expressions towards Husk while the bartended stared daggers at the spider demon, Clint was staring at his phone along with Dan, Bruce was staring off into space, Niffty was smiling while looking all over the place, and Lydia was standing waiting for the person who called them. At the moment, Vaggie stepped forward with a stern expression on her face.
""Okay, so, Charlie is dealing with something *very* important, so while she's gone, we are making a new commercial," Vaggie explained while sounding like a drill sergeant.
"One without porn," Lydia said while cutting off Angel from saying anything.
"Thank you, Lydia," Vaggie said as she continued, "This commercial will represent Charlie's vision and what we're doing here. So, we need a camera."
Vaggie turned to Alastor who was standing nearby. "Alastor," Vaggie asked the Radio Demon. In response, Alastor snapped his finger and conjured up a camera for Vaggie. However, Vaggie looked unamused at the camera appearing was one used in the 1930's which was a folding-type old camera for taking pictures rather than videos.
"You know, you kind of asked for that," Clint said to Vaggie.
"Yeah. You know, the whole grey area of a wish thing," Dan added, "You need to be specific with wishes."
"Fine," Vaggie said as she glared at Alastor again, "A *video* camera," she replied while emphasizing the video part this time.
Alastor, hummed before he snapped his fingers adheres to Vaggie's request and snaps his finger again, despite his extreme distaste for modern technology, conjuring up a video camera that's was in poor condition and also somewhat being held together by ducttape.
"That's better," Vaggie said.
Though Clint asked, "To be fair, Vaggie, have you ever made a video commerical?"
"Even if she didn't, I have," Lydia replied standing beside Vaggie to support her, "I used to make them at home and for projects at school. So I know my way around a video camera." Lydia held the camera to emphasize her point, only for the duct tape to become loose causing the battery of the video to fall out.
"I feel so much better about this," Dan replied as he wasn't feeling as confident about this now.
Vaggie pumped her fist as she smiled, "Alright! Let's do this!"
With Lydia pointing the camera, she saw through as the recording started at the bar scene with Husker behind the counter reading a script in his claws with Angel Dust and Clint at the opposite counter. The camera zoomed a bit, until Lydia got it focused enough.
Vaggie then signaled, "And…Action!"
Husk carefully read the lines on his script, bringing the script closer to read, "'Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel. Can I help with anything?'"
Angel Dust then pulled the moves in, making a sexy pose, as he began, "I've been a bad boy, and I need a big, strong daddy to put me in my place…" And sat up straight, as he said, "...on the path to redemption!"
Husker groans with displeasure as Clint started, "Well, you've come..."
Only for Angel to moan out, "Oh, yes!"
Husker and Clint got bored from this, as Clint answered, "...to the right place."
Vaggie and Lydia looked at each other with deadpanned expressions from Angel's acting.
"Cut! Okay, Angel, I need you to be less horny, if possible," Vaggie told the spider porn star.
"What? This is how I act," Angel replied.
"Husk, can you maybe not have a script in front of your face, please," Lydia asked him, "I know this was last minute, but try to sound more enthusiastic about this."
"I ain't no actor," Husk angrily replied while waving the script around, "I can't memorize this shit!"
"Anything else you wish to critique, Steven Spielberg," Clint asked.
"As a matter a fact yes," Vaggie replied, "Who the hell is playing the weird sound?!"
At the moment, everyone could hear a weird sound like a ring tone that had it's sound butchered. Dan raised his hand while turning off the sound with a nervous smile.
"Sorry," Dan replied.
Lydia had a 'are you serious' look on her face.
"All phones are on silent while on set," Vaggie declared with a megaphone to make sure everyone heard her. Everyone pulled their phone out and complied with Charlie's right-hand woman.
"Apparently our Fearless Leader and her loyal Bodyguard did," Clint sighed. But then noticed Bruce, who seemed confused, as Clint shrugged, "Not sure either. I'm hoping whatever this meeting is, it's going better than this claptrap B Movie."
Meanwhile
James felt his eye twitch as he sat there with Charlie, doing his best not to go berserk or fall asleep as the head angel seems to droll on and on about himself.
At the moment, the Angel was exaggeratingly boasting himself and his sex life.
"So, I was playin' this gig, and for some fuckin' reason, this virtue chick was diggin' on the drummer, and it's like, 'do you know who I am? I'm fuckin' Adam. I'm the original dick'!" He pointed to his penis down the table. "All dicks descend from me. You think you want drummer dick?" He looked to the Exorcist, who shook their head. "No way! I'm the Dick-fuckin' master!" He then ate a mouthful of ribs sloppily, showing how much of a pig he was, "So, anyway, then we fucked, and it was awesome. What'd you do this weekend?"
As Charlie and James were trying to keep straight faces, Charlie's eyes widened as she processed the name the angel used.
"Wait, your name is Adam," Charlie asked while looking at the male angel, "Like the first man Adam, that means you... Oh..."
Charlie and James stared at the now identified Adam, the First Man as all the pieces began to fit together in their minds. Namely, the part about Lillith leaving Adam for Lucifer.
'This is supposed to be the first man,' James thought to himself, 'Suddenly, I feel like I need to burn my clothing and shower just to get his stench off of me.'
Charlie winched at this revelation, "That explains so much," she said in a low voice.
Adam nodded, giving the Rock sign, "It's true, I fucking rock."
'Not the description I would use,' James thought as he was disliking this guy more and more. Also, the other angel was actually enjoying seeing Adam act the way he was. She didn't even seem to care that the face of Heaven was acting like some ill-mannered slob of a human. 'I'm beginning to wonder if Heaven really has its priorities straight.'
Charlie brushed off the awkwardness from Adam and got to her subject of matter in hand, "Well, Adam, sir. Mr. Adam, sir."
"Call me, Dickmaster." Adam interrupted with a smirk, making the two wonder if he was being serious.
James calmly shook his head as he commented, "Never going to happen."
Though Charlie continued, "Adam. You seem like a smart...well, stand up guy."
Picking his teeth disgustingly, Adam agreed, "Uh-huh."
"And I know you are the leader of the angels. And you are a big thinker, a revolutionary. A— A genius!" Charlie continued to butter Adam up even though she was getting strange looks from James.
Adam just seemed to be taking all the compliments in his slobbish snobby way, "I mean, your words, babe."
Charlie knowing that she had him hooked continued, "Who would really love to put his name on something."
Adam slammed his hands on the table exclaiming excitedly, "Fucking love putting my name on shit! Shit's the best!"
"It's a solution to our biggest problem!" Charlie exclaimed, thinking she finally got through to the First Man.
"Oh, Herpes." Or so she thought... after that guess even as he admitted, "Yeah, that's a bitch."
James stared stunned by this, even though Charlie tried again, "No! Our... other biggest problem."
Adam, acting well... a guy. Okay, less than a decent guy, just didn't seem to get it, "Oh…uh..ugly people? Math? Global Warming? Nah, wait, that's Earth's problem."
Charlie stared at Adam with deadpan annoyance at how ignorant he was. James sighed and stared at him the same way, but sighed, as he leaned on his arms, "I hope everyone is doing better than we are."
Meanwhile
Back at the Hotel
Niffty was chasing after a bug and attempting to stab it to death. But the bug continued dodge her until she finally stabbed the bug. With great glee, she stabs the bug repeatedly.
"Stab! Stab! Stab," Niffty said with every stab.
Vaggie, Lydia, and Angel stared as Niffty killed the bug while enjoying it. It was like watching a child doing the same thing that would eventually grow up to have little consideration for living things at all to the point of not caring how many people died during a pandemic.
"Alright, Niffty, Niffty. Niffty," Lydia said getting the maid demon's attention, "Your line is "We have the cleanest rooms", okay?"
"Got it. I'm ready," the cyclops demoness replied with a smile.
Lydia turned the camera on and pointed it at Niffty.
"Action," Vaggie said as they waited for Niffty to say her line.
Instead, the maid demon simply froze and stared blankly at the camera without even breathing or blinking. She wasn't even stabbing the bug anymore. It almost seemed as though she was camera shy and the sight of being recorded caused her mind to crash.
Vaggie stared with a puzzled expression looking at Lydia. Even Quiet Bruce leaned in to see this oddity happen.
"I think she's camera shy," Lydia mouthed to Vaggie her could read the cat girls' lips.
Angel peered in and got close to Niffty who continued to stare at the camera intenstly. It was as thought she was focusing all her mental abilities and senses on the camera itself while the rest of the world ceased to exist. Her pupil shrank out of fear of the camera lenses. Angel slowly backed away feeling creeped out more by Niffty's silence than her happy personality.
"Uhh, cut," Vaggie said as Lydia turned the camera off with neither girl not sure what would happen next.
The moment Vaggie said cut and the camera was no longer looking at her, Niffty's stunned expression became her usually happy one as she giggled. "How was that," she asked with a smile.
"Um, okay, but this time you have to say the line, Niffty," Vaggie said, as she nodded to Lydia.
"I got it," Niffty smiled.
"And action," Vaggie said, as she turned the camera on.
But then the moment that happened, Niffty went back into the staring zone again.
The girls looked in worry at this, as they hit a slump. Though Angel rubbed it in as he leaned over to the two, and sarcastically responded, "You're doin' great, Vagina."
But Vaggie groaned at this, as this was gettin annoying, as Vaggie said, "Cut." She sighed, as she held her forehead, "Maybe we can fix it in post."
"And do you know how to do that," Clint asked, arching an eyebrow.
Vaggie shot out angrily, "I'll figure it out!"
Later On
Vaggie and Lydia were in a darkened room, watching their 'commercial' on a TV to see how it went. So far... it was crap. Both girls groaned in total frustration, until a familiar deer-antlered shadow appeared behind them both.
Lydia frowned, as she slumped, "This sucks, Vaggie. I hate to say it but we need more than a camera and a tough attitude on this."
"Seems like you both are having a bit of a trouble there, hmm?" they heard as Alastor had came into the room his smile never wavering as he looked at the two ladies.
Lydia and Vaggie sighed in annoyance at this as Lydia looked to him and asked, "Alastair. Not the time."
"Well I thought the time was perfect considering how you seem to be wasting time struggling to accomplish with something so meaningful and fail spectacularly." Alastor explained while he sat down while his shadow made a brief appearance before disappearing, "The best sort of entertainment."
Lydia frowned at that while Vaggie shot at him, "Seriously, why are you here?"
"Because it's entertaining." Alastor repeated, his teeth visible. "Good job on failing spectacularly by the way."
Vaggie huffed, as she stood up and turned the camera to him. "And here, we have Alastair. The egocentric piece of shit that..". But those dropped her anger and was more confused and shocked at what she and Lydia saw when the camera was turned on Alastair. As Vaggie viewed the camera on him, the camera glitched violently from green to red as the two freaked out. Dropping the camera on the floor.
"I wouldn't try that, my dear." Alastor warned, pointing his face, "This face was made for radio."his pupils turn into the shape of radio dials, and reality became statically as it did when they first met him.
"Are we sure that this guy isn't the devil," Lydia asked Vaggie while feeling freaked out, "Because this guy is exactly what I pictured when I think of the devil making deals."
Vaggie snarled, as she put her foot down, "That's it!" She stomped to him, ignoring how spooky he was being, as she ranted to him, "I don't care who or what you are. If you're staying here, you're going to make this work, because it won't be so .." she imitated Alastor's voice when she stated, ",,, 'entertaining',,," and returned to normal, as she finished, ",,, to watch over an empty hotel, will it, shitass?"
Alastor remained silent before he shrugged, "Fair enough." he then suggested, "I'll tell you what. Let's make a deal."
"No thanks, I like my soul," Lydia replied not wanting to owe anything to this guy.
"Sorry my fair pussycat, I wasn't talking to you." Alastor waved off before turning to Vaggie, "I meant with you."
"You really think I'm that desperate to sell my soul to a shitlord like you," Vaggie shot back with a glare saying, 'fuck you, deerboy'.
Alastor laughed it off, "I don't mean for your soul. Just a simple deal. I do this for you, and you never ask me to engage with this frivolous television technology ever again."
When he said those last words seem to have an edge to them before looking at them, particularly at Vaggie, "Or…Charlie can come back to absolutely nothing. Your choice."
Vaggie sighed in defeat, as she looked to him, groaning, "Fine." Vaggie picked up the camera and gave it to Alastor, which he evaporated with a clap of his hand.
"You sure about this," Lydia asked her in concern.
"If it's a deal, Alastor has to abide by the terms," Vaggie explained. "Soul or no soul."
"I wish the deals on Earth were like that as well," Lydia replied to that as she knew a great many people backed out of their deals.
Alastor would hold his hand out for the camera. Alastor snapped his finger and transformed the hotel into a film set with the hotel staff and guests into a 50s style film crew. Ink demons conjured up as additional background characters. The staff and guests were all now in 50s outfits, as Lydia was also transformed looking like a 50s dancer girl outfit on the ballroom.
"Alright everyone," Vaggie smiled, as her 50s wardrobe appeared and she smiled in determination, "...let's make a fucking commercial."
Meanwhile
Back at the Embassy
Charlie and James were still there, looking exasperated as Adam was going through more and more sexist rants of women and his masculinity. He was completely missing the point or at least trying to think of the point in general, but was failing spectactuarly. James thought the Exorcists were just vicious and needed some discipline, but considering the leader... Yeah. It was definitely Adam being the source of all this. It was any wonder to James as to why Heaven would be better than this. Honestly, if Adam was a resident up there, who would want to go to Heaven? Hell was seemingly becoming better in his eye at this point.
"When you take her out for the fifth time and she still expects you to pay the check but you're like," Adam kept going, even as he impersonated the woman in general, ""Hey, I thought you wanted equality."
Finally, James had enough, as he shouted, "ALRIGHT! WE GET IT!" Everyone snapped back to normal and looked at him with eyes wide with surprise. But James blinked, as he cleared his throat, "Um... no, sorry, Sir Adam. The real issue the princess was bringing up today... was the Yearly Extermination brought on by Heaven's Exorcist Forces."
"Ohh," Adam said, as he sat back down, and smiled, "Well don't fret, my rude dude. That's not a problem! We got that covered!" He turned to his subordinate, as he asked, "Lute, how many demons did you kill this year?"
"Got a good 275 this year, sir." the Angel, lute, answered.
"275? Woah! Badass! Awesome job, danger tits! Pound it," Adam praised her with a fist bump, to which Lute responded by bumping her fist into it.
James shook his head, as Charlie stood up, "Um... no, Not awesome. Those are my people. You know that right?"
Adam looked at her in surprised, as he nodded, "Oh yeah." But then blew up in laughter as he shouted, "THAT MUST SUCK FOR YOU! HAHAHAHHAAHAHAA!"
James frowned, as he asked silently, "Really?"
"But these are souls...Humans souls just the same as the ones you have up in heaven," Charlie argued.
Lute shook her head and said, coldly, "They're not the same. They had their chance and they earned damnation."
"You're wrong," Charlie pleaded with theim, as she tried to reason or reach to them, "Sinners made mistakes, sure, but everyone makes mistakes."
"Angels don't make mistakes." Lute dismissed glaring at the princess.
"You really believe or think that," James asked her, getting Lute's attention as she seemed almost hate-filled on anything or anyone that was a devil. But it seemed it was vastly intense towards him.
"I know that, Imp-flith." Lute responded with a glare.
Adam nodded, "Yeah I never made a mistake in my fucking life."
"What about Lilith," James asked, honestly, making the room cold on this, as Charlie went wide eye as he brought up the subject.
Adam froze before twitching, Lute was surprised before he calmed down and shrugged, "She had her shot with the dickmaster, but decided to go for the chump of the king down here. which made that War of creation happen."
"Well, what about Cain and Abel," James said, as he asked her and Adam, "They had their shot, and Cain became the First Murderer... under Adam's raising." He then looked to him, as he said, "I bet you wouldn't even let your 2nd Wife, Eve, raise the boys."
Adam's LED face would glitch before he said, glaring at James, "And what would a fucking, shitty, mama-pussy Imp-boy know about my life?"
"More than I'd prefer to know after today," James replied while glaring back, "I wonder how faithful the people on Earth would be if word got out one of the most well known Christian figures approved and took part if the act of murder. One of the very things that Ten Commandments."
Adam's LED face was in confusion, as he asked, "Seriously? How do you know all this shit? Do they have Sunday School down here we're not aware of?"
Lute shook her head at the question, "Not in the slightest sir, we know they'd burn it down or make a mockary of it like everything holy and righteous."
Charlie then decided to let the cat out of the bag, as she stood up, and said, "Well, for your information..." And gestured to James, as she revealed, "James Dante... is actually an innocent soul accidentally sent down here along with his friend, Lydia Dawnswell."
That info made the two look at each other before Adam would have a laughing fit slamming his fist on the table as he exclaimed, "YOU gotta be shitting me! That little imp and his bitch were sent down here? B-By ac-ac-accident?! Oh You're just like your pops little girl, a clown! BWU-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"
Both Charlie and James sweatdropped on this, as Charlie stated, "It's the truth. Why would I lie about this?"
"She really can't lie, even if it is to save herself," James defended. "Honestly, she can't."
Adam laughs more before getting up, "Puh-lease. Like I'm gonna believe the shit ur telling me, especially from Lucifer's kid."
James looked to Lute, as he asked, "Well, what about you? You think she's lying?"
"There's no way in existence that truly virtuous souls could be cast down here by accident. Why the horseman Deatha and the Angel of Death Azrael would make sure of it."
Adam got back to his seat and nodded, "Ah-huh, I doubt &Scythe would fuck it bad. Dude works non-stop, really needs to take a chill pill."
"Why don't we go and ask him then," Charlie suggested, which made Adam freak out as he almost fell out of his chair, confusing both Non-Sinner and Daughter of Lucifer extremely.
Until James asked, "Wait. Are you guys... that intimidated by him?"
Lute looks at the imp and said, "No one goes to Death, Death goes to them. Azrael is not as... 'Dedicated' to her role as the horseman." Even though her wings fluttered a bit while she had to force them to fold back.
"But if we could just ask an audience with him and get this mistake all cleared up, then..." Charlie tried to reason in all of this.
James then blinked, "Wait... The Angel of Death Azrael's a chick?"
"LADY Azrael." Lute corrected glaring at James before turning to the princess, "No. Once a soul arrives here salvation is beyond their grasp as an angel will never fall that is the way of how everything is."
"But doesn't Death or Azrael keep a list on for who goes where," Charlie reasoned with. "I just don't want you guys to get blamed for a mistake."
"Please why would we when they always know who goes where." Adam dismissed while picking his teeth again.
"You guys really think you're infallible, don't you," James asked, as Lute approached them.
"ENOUGH!" Lute, however, entered the fray and came around even as the sky darkened from day to night in Hell, "The only reason you're both still here is because daddy gave the hellspawn and your hellborn kind a pardon from an exorcist blade."
"How does that feel, to know how little you matter?" Lute asked getting under Charlie's skin with that.
James sneered, as he said, "Big talk coming from God's 1st creation... only to get treated like Number 2 when Humanity came into the picture."
Charlie winced at that, as Lute stood straight as a board, being reminded her kind were treated lesser than the humans.
Charlie suddenly remembered as she rushed to present her plan, "Oh fuck! Okay I've got a lot to get through and not a lot of time and I feel like you weren't hearing me before so here it goes." She coughed and then she started making a fast-talk, which was close to singing as she got all of her stuff out in on the table to show what she meant, "I know Hell's population is out of control. It's a bad situation, It's taking a toll. If we rehab these Sinners, And cleanse all their souls. At my Hazbin Hotel—" But Charlie fumbled as she rambled through the stacks of paper, "Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself! Right! Extermination!" She then tried again I know you guys fly down, Just to kill once a year. And it must be annoying, To schlep all the way here. If they join you in Heaven, That trip disappears! You can wave that chore farewell."
Charlie then took a deep breath, as she smiled, "*It'll be a happy day in...*"
Let me stop you right there, save us all precious time. Adam interrupted her while he sang his own song, interrupting Charlie, If what you're suggesting, is letting them climb.
Up the ladder. Oh, they'd rather cross the Pearly Gates? He then turned to look at his glove covered nails.
"Well, um..." Charlie started, as she and James got up.
Sorry, sweetie. But there's no defyin' their fates! Adam smiled, as he explained, Cause Hell is forever. Whether you like it or not. He then smiled as he imagined Charlie and James thrown down a boiling pit of blood and bodies, Had their chance to behave better. Now they boil in the pot. The two climbed up as best they could to escape, 'Cause the rules are black and white, There's no use in tryin' to fight it. But once they got to the top, Adam and Lute were there as they brougth their weapons up, They're burnin' for their lives. And brought down their weapons, as he gloated, Until we kill 'em again!
"Wait, what," James said, looking shocked.
Charlie tried to reason, "Okay, but—"
Just try and chillax babe. Just try to chillax, babe You're wasting your breath, Adam interrupted again even as Charlie chuckled nervously and he continued, getting close to them, Did I hear you imply. that they don't deserve death?
He then walked to them singing, his large gut visible as he moved, Are they Winners? Are they Sinners? 'Cause it's cut and dry.
He then got in close again before lifting off into the sky and sung with a sanctimonious tone, with a light shining down on them, When all is said and done!" (Said and Done!)
Charlie and James glared up shielding their eyes,
There's a question of fun!" (Fun!)
He then took a step towrads them using the clouds as stairs, And for those of us with divine ordainment.
Grinning down at them he revealed, Extermination is entertainment!
And began to fly with Lute around him Bow-now-now-nownow! with a shout, "Guitar solo, fuck yeah!" Oh, da-ah-ah now-now-n-now-n-now-n-now-n-nownownow.
James would help Charlie up before Adam and Lute came to knock them down again, Hell is forever. Whether you like it or not.
Had their chance to behave better.
Four golden mirages of Exorcists appeared, surrounding Charlie and James from all sides even as the princes shouted, "Where the Hell did you people come from!?"
"What is wrong with you guys," James asked.
Now they boil in the pot!
'Cause the rules are black and white. There's no use in tryin' to fight it.
They're burnin' for their lives. Adam and Lute shared a fist bump while shrugging with a smile as Adam sung, Until we kill 'em again!
Adam then summoned a metal guitar and played as he sung, Fuckin' Hell's forever, And it's meant to suck a lot.
The mirages began dancing to Adam's rather impressive guitar playing before they joined him and Lute while singing,
So give up your dumb endeavor.
'Cause you don't have a shot!
Charlie got mad as she began to transform, horns protruding from her head as the paper in her hands began to burn as she growled. Adam came to the floor singing, Long as I've got your attention. I guess I should probably mention.
Adam stopped playing as he, Lute and the mirages flew up and he traded the guitar he had for a scroll,
That we made the determination.
He got in close and unrolled it to show Charlie and James, while it read how Adam could do whatever he wanted.
To move up the next Extermination!
Adam shared a look with Lute who had the rest of Charlie's papers with her,"Can't wait a whole year, To slaughter those little cunts."
"I know it's been a week," Adam admitted, before grabbing both, despite being a very convincing Hologram,
"But we'll be back again in six months!"
Both Charlie and James went wide eyed as they saw it wasn't a year to wait, but six months, "WHAT?!"
And flung them out of the room as Lute chucked Charlie's papers out with them. Charlie tried to get up and reach the doors, even as it clsoed on them, "Um, wait, you-you—"
the last thing they saw while it did was Adam putting in a last bit of Guitar shredding, as it closed shut with a thud.
Charlie fell to her knees and swore, "SHIT!"
James rushed to the door smash knocking it, making sure Adam couldn't ignore this, "ADAM, WAIT! I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU!"
Adam bust through as he shouted, "What?! You got your say! WHAT, WHAT WHAT!?"
James then calmly said, as he pointed to him, "You still have that boogie."
Adam went wide eye, and ran back in, "OH SHIT!" And both could hear the sounds of Adam sniffling and trying to blow out the 'boogie'.
Later On
The two were walking back to the Hotel, as Charlie was defeated, and felt like shit on that moment. James noticed this as he attempted to cheer her up, "You know, I honestly thought you were trying. And you were." He then looked forward and said, "That Adam's a douchebag. King of the Douchebags." He then looked confused and angry, as he asked, "Seriously, if he ate the Fruit from the Tree of Wisdom, how the hell is he this stupid and conceited? I'm guessing after the kids popped out, Eve split the same like your mom did. No wonder he's a bacheolor."
Charlie said nothing as she held her arms while looking like all hope had been lost for her. That cheerful, singing girl that James saw and chased after was no one to be found.
"I mean, seriously, it seems like the only women that can stand him are those that are like him," James said as he continued to try and cheer her up, "Kind of makes me wonder if he can actually get a date that isn't out of his army of murderous psychos."
He looked to her to get a remark or tell him that was mean. He sighed as he said, "Sorry if I caused it to flounder."
Charlie smiled, appreciating his attempts, "It's not your fault... I just... was hoping that he'd be more willing to listen... I didn't know he really likes doing that..."
"Well, I know we were told that what we want ever comes easy," James assured her. "Besides, I don't think he really believe that I wasn't actually a sinner demon. Seems are a little too prideful and taking the fact that they're faultless."
Charlie looked at him and admitted, "Honestly before you told us about your life, I thought you were a Imp, though I never seen an imp with an eye on their tail before."
"Or standing at your height? Yeah, I've seen the inks down here and they have the height of kids compared to us in ways," James chuckled at the comparison on heights.
"Not always." Charlie assured him.
"Ah," he replied. They had reached the door but stopped, as he asked. "How should we tell them?"
"I don't know... I'm honestly afraid to tell them," Charlie said looking on the verge of falling down in tears, "What if they blame me for this?"
"They won't blame you," James replied, "You didn't do anything wrong. It's those douchebags in Heaven that are behind this!"
He then hugged her by surprise, as he asked her, "Is this helping?"
Charlie blushed looking away, shyly stating "It's a start.."
He then broke the hug as he and she looked to the door and sighed, "Ready?"
Charlie sighs, taking a deep breath before nodding, "Yes." And both opened the door, but didn't expect to see what happened next.
Vaggie and Lydia coming running to them with smiles as they shouted, "Charlie!/James!" Hugging their best friends as Vaggie asked, "How did it go? Did they listen?"
"Oh, they sure did hear it," Charlie said nervously while trying to seem like nothing happened.
"When they weren't talking out of their ass," James added, "But-"
"Hold that thought, James," Lydia said as she pulled James and Lydia towards the main hall of the hotel, "Come here, we have something exciting to show you."
"What is it," James asked as he and Charlie allowed Lydia to pull them in.
The whole group was sitting together near a TV, even Alastor, who had disdain for the program, as they all sat together, as Jame asked, "What's the surprise?"
"We managed to complete the commercial for the Hotel," Lydia blurted out.
Dan hissed out as he rolled his eyes, "Nice job keeping a scret, Lyd."
"Alastor pulled some strings and it's about to air," Vaggie explained as she sat with Charlie as James sat with them both, and Lydia sitting on the couch's armrest.
Alastor shrugged keeping his smile on his face. "I also pulled a few limbs too," he chuckled.
But Charlie realized what they meant, and smiled, "Wait, the commercial? You all made a new one?"
"Yeah," Angel smirked as he looked relaxed, "One of my better performances if I do say so myself."
"And it was one of the times he wasn't pushing mine or Husk's' boundaries," Clint smirked, as Husker chuckled.
"Heheh," Angle sarcastically chuckled, as he flipped them, "Fuck ya both."
Charlie beamed brightly as she said, "That's... that's amazing."
James placed a hand on her shoulder, as he smiled, "Guess it was okay in the end there."
Angel shushed them, as he said, "Sshh, it's starting."
And sure enough it did star witha front shot of the hotel, the cast all present, including a blurry shot of Alastor, as Vaggie began in the commercial, "Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel..." But then suddenly, the TV cut to the News report with Channel 666 News. Everyone, except for Alastor and Niffty, all got annoyed by this as they angrily complained, while Charlie looked disappointed in not seeing the commerical at all. Though at the moment, Katie Killjoy and Tom Trench were on, as the broadcast commenced.
"Breaking news in Hell today," Katie said, "We have just received word from the Heaven Embassy that the next Extermination is happening sooner than ever before. Do you know what that means, Tom?"
Tom shrugged, "No, what does that mean, Katie?"
Katie, still having a smile on her face but with a twitching eye, reported, "It means we're all royally fucked!"
Screaming could be heard from Sinners from outside, and on the TV, as they showed the time on the Clock Tower reduces to 176 days till the next Extermination.
Charlie and James paled at this, as they knew this beforehand, as Adam had blabbed out to them. But Angel asked breaking the ice, "Wait, what? Why?!"
Meanwhile
Way way from the Hotel, back to the battlefield that had yet to be cleaned up after the Extermination, a drone scoured the area. It stopped its job until it found the remains of the five dead Exorcists corpses, one with its head missing, two slashed up and two shot through. The drone scanned the corpses and then using Holy Light, destroyed what was left of the evidence, leaving only scorch marks. It then proceeded to fly away, but missed the head of the severed Exorcist.
Heaven HQ
Adam, Lute, and a third party were looking at the findings of the drone. The third was a male Exorcist but had on his shoulders armor padding with armor on this thighs, and strapped to his back a weird pack holding a halo of sorts in place. His helmet had one horn broken off but had blue LED facial markings on his face. At the moment, the two Exorcists reported to Adam on the findings of the Drone to him.
Lute would stand before the projector screen and said, "We found the bodies, sir. We should go down there and exterminate every last one of them for this especially the traitor who dare harm us with our holy light!"
"Wait, hold on," Adam asked, "How is it we didn't even know 5 of our fuckers were dead?"
"They didn't report in after a while," the male Exorcist explained. "After the Extermination, we went back to our daily lives. But we found that Beebee, Cici, Fifi, Teets, and Jeff never reported in after a few weeks. The drone just recently found them, but also did a scan on them, and we found out how they died."
"Blah blah blah blah," Adam said, mocking hand gestures of his Exorcist talking, "Spill it, Rinze. What's the COD?"
"Apparently, three died of Holy Inflictment, while the other two had their souls ripped out of them the moment they were sliced up," Rinze answered, shocking both Lute and Adam at this. "And there's something else. Apparently, the Crucible Prototype we lent to Jeff to test out on the field, it was missing from the corpse."
"So you're telling me one of those fuckers down there grabbed our Holy laser gun and somehow used it to kill 2 of our baddest frontliners," Adam arched an eyebrow.
"That's what the report said," Rinze answered.
"Sir we should send our entire legions, both mine and the "enlightened" legion that... he... leads to exterminate all of them!" Lute shouted, though seemed disgusted talking about Seph.
"Everyone is on break, Lute. And they don't even know about the Crucible," Rinze explained, as he questioned her, "And you want to send an entire legion out for an enemy we have no knowledge about, and who could probably kill us while using that advantage against us?"
"We all know what can tear souls out of their bodies with a cut, one is in possession of Lord Michael while the other is the Death's Scythe." Lute shot back glaring at the male Exorcist.
Rinze then looked to Adam and Lute, saying, "Didn't that Sinner Demon that said he was accidentally pushed to Hell by Death?"
"What? Imp boy?" Adam asked, "You don't actually believe that shit do you, Rinze?"
"His story does seem to coincide with an artifact from the War in Heaven eons ago," Rinze implied. "What if one of the Hellborn attained it?"
"How would a fucking sinner be able to make Mr. cloak and deadly drop his scythe long enough in the first place?"
Adam then leaned back and commented, "The dude treats that thing like a good piece of ass on a babe."
A moment of silence was amongst the room, as Rinze implied, "Well... we could go and asked the Horseman if he's missing it?"
Lute would shout, "Absolutely not!" She then got in his face, "We're are all under strict orders to not go anywhere near any of them, especially that Horseman."
"Then what do we do," Rinze asked, now seemingly more lost and confused on what they would do now.
Adam then joked, "Why why not ask Azrael to go ask him, I mean it's pretty obviously that chick has a hard-on for the pale prick since they first met." That made his lieutenants remain silent before he said, "I was fucking joking..."
Rinze would then say, "That is a good idea."
"Fuckin' what," Adam asked, and shook his head. "No. No no no!" He then put his foot down, as he stated, "Look, we'll keep quiet about this screw up. Besides, they've got six months left before we invade. We can't risk them catching on." He then smiled, as he assured them both, "But, don't worry, when we come back, there won't be a demon left alive to pull a stunt like this again!" And destroyed the projector, as its light disappeared, only showing Adam's glowing evil smile.
Next Chapter: Radio Killed the Video Star