"I can't believe with your one day off in what feels like the first one you had since we came here… this is how you want to spend it" I said.
My dear Tali is getting her precious suit dirty with dust that must be centuries old. The boxes of course are on the bottom row and stored way back. She's trying hard to get what she wants. Tali always does that. Her grunts and position on her knees are waking up the beast. I tell myself 'Keep your lust in check. There is a time and place for it. While no one else is here, a library is not suitable for what I want to do."
Tali pulls out old a wooden box. Weird. I didn't think they had wood on this ship. This is centuries old. It has to be when the original quarians left their home world. On the bottom left-hand corner, I can see the nails so rusted out the box might fall apart if she lifts it and I hope Tali doesn't get a splinter.
"We might as well start from the oldest records we have. I hope you have kept up with your reading lessons" Tali said. I get the distinct feeling she winked.
"Lucky for you I did. I became so blased with my omnitool I learned to read kesh" I said.
Tali asks "what does 'blased' mean?"
I answer "boredom from excessive indulgence."
Tali says "Oooh… quarians get that alot. Now you see why we work so much?"
"I can't comprehend why you would rather work than spend time with me" I said.
"Remember I have obligations and my cherished… I wish to spend every second with you if I could" Tali said.
"Oh, I love it when you say things like that. Brain tingles feel awesome but heart tingles… that is special" I said.
"At least we have today to be together. Would the humans call this a study date?" Tali asks.
"Honestly this feels more searching the vatican vibes. What do you hope to find?" I ask.
"Ideally video evidence of my ancestors talking about surviving quarians. If we show the public that along with our vacation photos, maybe we can make peace with the geth and return home" Tali said filled with hope.
"As much as I'd wish that would be true… to be perfectly honest, I don't think it will happen" I said.
"Quarians are different than humans. You'll see. We just need to show them what's possible and we can move forward" Tali said.
With a note of skepticism in my voice "I hope you are right."
Tali slides the crate towards me and requests I dig through it while she grabs another. These look more like personal belongings than historical artifacts. Some random desk toys, yellowed pictures that will turn to dust if I look at them the wrong way. Oh, hey this looks interesting. I pull out a plastic rectangle the size of my thumb with a silver square on one end.
"What is that?" Tali asks.
"Looks like a USB drive" I told her.
"What does it do?" She asks.
"You've never seen a USB before?" I ask.
"No. Is it something we can use?" Tali asks.
"Maybe. In my time we put digital information in these things if we needed to move them from device to device" I said.
Tali asks "You couldn't send it through the extranet?"
"Back then we didn't have that. We had a local one called the internet and as I got older eventually, we could email or text things to ourselves or upload it into the cloud. But we kept using them as backups or if we needed to keep sensitive files that shouldn't be emailed in case of hacks. I didn't have that fancy quantum encryption that makes things virtually unhackable like you" I said.
"That must have been so hard. All that work to only transfer a little bit of code" Tali said.
"All I had to do was plug it in, drag a file and drop it. It wouldn't even take me a minute" Imagine if I told her about the floppy discs. I never used them but saw them being used as decorations in the school library.
"That is so weird. Do you think anything valuable is on here?" Tali asks.
"Who knows? It could be nothing or it is so old the files are gone. Even if they were still there, you'd need a computer with a port or an adapter, but I doubt anyone has one" I said.
"Our technology is alot more advanced than yours. Retrieving corrupted data is easy and data is data. I can write a program to see what is on here and it won't take me long. There's probably a program on our servers already. I'd just need to find and install it" Tali said.
"Can this plug into omnitools?" I ask.
"No but all I'll need is an electrical connection from the device to my omnitool. I know someone who manufactures custom adapters. Quarians have been buying ships parts for cheap from lots of different companies and most aren't compatible, so we were forced to get creative. I'm more of a ship engineer, not an electrical engineer but this should be easy for him. This device looks fairly simple" Tali said.
"I don't think so. Look closely inside. I can see copper pins that have been badly corroded. Repairing used drives was not something done, and I doubt companies today have replacement parts" I said.
"Would the manufaction station be able to fix it?" Tali asks.
"The what?" I ask.
"You don't know what that is? the manufaction station that can be programmed to make basic items. It can make things down to a very fine detail and we have the materials. Did you not have them?" Tali asks.
"That would have been nice. We had 3d printers but it was limited to plastic items for consumers. You are saying there is a device that can make whatever I can think of?" I ask.
"Slow down. I see you are getting excited. Strictly enforced patent laws prevent us from making whatever, but we should be able to fix this" Tali said.
"If people have these then why didn't anyone show me?" I ask.
"Normally only large development companies have these. These things are huge, difficult to maintain or operate, and expensive. We only have them because an earth company was going out of business and they donated them to us for tax deductions. We can fix this. ********* look through more of these boxes while I take this over. I'll be back soon" Tali said. Based on how close everything is on the ship she'll only be 10 minutes. Better do this quickly. I manifest a half dollar coin. There are thoughts I am having and can't decide. I whisper to myself.
"Alright. Should I marry Tali?" This is not something I should be leaving to a coin toss, but I need to do this for me. Heads yes tails no. Flip. Heads. My vibe rises.
"Am I being an idiot for making her wait? Flip. Heads.
"I know I want to be married to her. I'm impatient and have waited for far too long, but I feel like it would be more appropriate for after we beat the Reapers. Would it really be ok to propose in the very near future?" Flip. I'm getting alot of heads.
"Am I very sexy?" Flip. Heads. Well I already knew the answer to that. Why does something seem off?
"Is Garrus better looking than me?" Flip. Heads. NO HE IS NOT. I check the other side of the coin. Crap I made the wrong one.
"What are you doing?" A familiar female quarian asks.
"A coin toss. Sometimes I can't decide, and I use this to help draw out my real feelings. If I think I want a yes and feel happy it is a sign I should do it. If I think I want a yes and get a no and feel relieved, it might be a good idea to listen. Although I accidentally used a coin with heads on both sides. I use this to win arguments. The secret to prevent others from catching on is to purposely lose some arguments you really don't care about. Oh shit it is you" I said.
Fanta says "that doesn't look quarian. My Uncle said we used to use special plastic cards so we could track what people would spend money on and if the public tried to buy goods that would have interfered with our plans for the future, we'd block the purchase" I shoot her a death glare. If anyone can kill a ghost, it is me.
"I really fucking hate your family" I said.
Fanta asks "What is your deal?"
"My world came scary close to what you describe, and it was already a nightmare" I said.
Fanta asks "What do you mean your world?"
…
Fanta asks "You're not a quarian are you? What about her?"
"Tali is perfect and I'm the last guy you want to mess with. Why are you even here?" I ask.
"I've been watching you from afar. Are there others like you?" Fanta asks.
"Yeah but not here. What is it that you want?" I ask.
"Is it true the people on Rannoch are thriving? I can't understand how that is possible. They needed us. They couldn't function without us" Fanta said.
"Clearly they could and are" I said.
She asks "I-I.. how can that be?"
"Turns out most people are capable of taking care of themselves if you stopped fucking up their lives" I said.
She asks "How did we interfere?"
I scream "YOUR PEOPLE TRIED STARVING THEM TO DEATH!"
Fanta avoids my gaze. "This is really hard for me to digest. If that is true, why did my parents lie to me?"
"They probably thought they were telling the truth. They lived in their own personal bubble and believed whatever they wanted to believe to feel good and when reality kicked their ass, they couldn't handle it" I said.
"You're very disrespectful" she said. I'm not doing this anymore and blow her off. I'm about to continue digging through the collective fleet junk drawer when Fanta calls me back.
"WAIT!"
"WHAT?!"
"Look, I just want to see my home world. Tali and you seem to be looking for something that could help get us back. I might be able to help" she said.
"Oh yeah? How?"
She explains "you're looking for evidence we knew quarians survived. I know where it is."
I ask "Where?"
"When I was a teenager, there was a secret digital chatroom. We would vent about our frustrations and a good chunk of it was how we lost to the terro- I mean rebels. You had to be invited. It faded out of popularity a long time ago but it should still exist" she said.
I ask "So you know the website and password?"
"Yes but you needed a special key to have access to the network which is stored on that device Tali is attempting to fix. If she can get it working, I can give you my information and you will find the truth" She said.
"I'm not a tech guy. I can learn to use it, but I never bothered to understand it. Assuming she can do it, I have no idea how long it will take her" I said.
Tali says "It won't take me very long once the repairs are fixed. My friend is busy with other more important things but should get it back to me in a day or two. ********* who are you talking to? Is it the ghost?" Tali is getting the creeps. I hate that vibe.
"Yes, I keep forgetting you can't see Fanta. She said there was a secret online chat room that had video files of her generation venting about all kinds of stuff. That storage device has something on it that will allow us access and she'll give me her account login and password" I said.
Tali asks "will there be videos of them admitting quarians are on Rannoch?"
Fanta says "Yes. It is not the only thing we used it for. I tended to-"
"She said yes"
Tali brightens up "GREAT! Everyone will know and we can go home!"
I should tell her what I think will happen, but I am not going to crush her. Not now.
"Now that we have some time, is there anything special you want to do?" I ask.
"Well… if you want to-" Tali said.
"Hmm?"
"How would you like to see a quarian baby? We aren't far and can see them through a window" Tali said.
"Whoa! I was not expecting that. How is that allowed? It feels weird going to see a stranger's baby" I said.
"Is it? Humans must be very protective of their young. Is that a no?"
"No. No I mean yes. Ah! I'll go see them with you."
Tali and I cleaned up the mess we made. I wonder why Tali wants to go look at the babies. Is she trying to tell me something? Unlikely, she is generally straightforward with me. Besides there is very little to do on the ship. Tali takes me hand and leads me to viewing area and my heart stops.
"OH MY GOD THEY ARE SO CUTE!" This is so weird. I'm normally completely indifferent to babies unless they are related to me, but these ones are ADORABLE! The freaky fingers and toes are easy to look past when those innocent little eyes look at you. I have the biggest smile right now.
"Can they see us?" I wave to the little one.
Tali says "No it's one way glass. It's fun watching your reaction. I was the same way."
I ask "Do these belong to someone?"
"Yes. Orphans are very rare. Each of them has loving parents but it does make you think, doesn't it?" Tali said.
"What exactly are you implying?"
"Well… maybe one day if an unfortunate event, not that I am wishing for it were to happen to someone in the future… maybe we could… you know?" Tali said. I want to hear this.
"No I don't. Please explain to me sweetie in small words." Tali adorably leans her head to one side.
"Since we can't have our own child, if the ancestors bless us, maybe we could one day adopt one? It would be like hitting the lottery, but you never know" Tali said. My visor is blocking the weird look I'm currently giving her. My sweetheart isn't that quick to things. Oh well I'll play along.
"Even if we can't, I'd be satisfied with baby pictures of you. Please tell me you have some" I said.
"Yes, we'll look at them later. Come, over here is the school where I went to" Tali pulls me into a different viewing area. The classroom… was not what I hoped for. The teacher is presenting mathematics. That's not what is disturbing me to my core. There are no desks in the room. Each child is enclosed in a small transparent bubble. My heart freezes, it actually feels cold, and that something is painfully squeezing my chest. I feel my anxiety returning with a vengeance.
I ask "Tali, are they in a bubble only during class?"
She says nonchalantly "no they remain inside them until they get their first suits when of age."
"And that is?"
"I think in human years 13? *********? Are you ok? You're breathing funny" she said.
"You're not able to play with your own child? Hold them?"
"We can. We have to do it through the bubble. ********* what is wrong? You're scaring me. I've never seen you like this" Tali said.
"Tali I think I'm getting a panic attack" I said.
"You!? What happened? What's wrong" She asked.
"I... I really need to get out of here" I can't see. My hyperventilating is fogging up my visor.
"Ok we can leave. ********* calm down. Do the breathing thing you taught me" Tali said. I do and it helps to manage it, but I still have to leave. I apologize profusely to Tali. God, I hate people worrying about me. I'm so sorry but when I saw how those kids are living. I didn't have kids in my world because I couldn't bring another soul to suffer what I lived through and here they are disconnected from their own parents. STOP. Stop. stop. I tell myself "It isn't the same. They aren't going to suffer like I did. What happen to me was so rare and I know how to prevent it. I won't let that happen." But is this acceptable? The reality of potentially having a child with Tali hit me like a ton of bricks. I have a lot of thinking to do.