After far too long, I am back on the Normandy. Edi welcomes Tali back. Rann is spooked there is an artificial intelligence on board. We warned her about Legion but forgot to tell her about Edi, and I did not mention the surprise we are about the witness. Tali runs up behind Joker's chair and gives him a big hug. Even with Joker's new skeleton I worry she is going to break his collarbones. For a thin lady Tali gives strong hugs, but the love is so worth it. Edi stands up from her chair to meet the three of us.
Edi says "Hello Tali it is good to see you again or rather for the first time" she said. Tali is taken aback. She runs behind me and Rann hides behind her. Tali peaks around my rib, asking "Wait that voice. EDI is that you?"
She replies "Yes. A synthetic body designed for espionage was captured and I thought it a suitable vessel for learning more about the human experience. How do I look?"
Tali says "Wow! I just mean wow! Just look at you." Now is my chance.
"Edi don't just stand there. Show off a bit. Spin around for us" I love how the visor hides my devilish smile. When Edi is halfway done with her 360, I keep my word and kick her silver butt. OW!. I think I broke my metatarsal or all of them, a quick reset of my body and good as new.
Joker immediately gets up from his chair. I never seen him look pissed. That is the enraged boyfriend look. FINALLLY HE GETS LOVE AS WELL.
The pilot yells at me "HEY! I don't know who you are, but don't you dare ever kick her again" yep Edi has a keeper.
Edi asks "Why would you kick me? I mean to harm to any organic."
"Well, you should have thought about that before you spilled the beans to Rael. When a man makes a bracelet for his awesome quarian girlfriend, it should be kept secret. I have been holding onto that grudge forever! Now I can let go of it and be free. Besides that Edi you look very nice. Joker make sure to threat your silver lady like she is gold."
Edi pauses for a moment, running through her data, coming to the conclusion who I am "********* I apologize for that. Was kicking my rear honestly necessary?"
"YES!"
Joker stares at Edi "Wait that's *********?"
Edi replies "Yes your organic brain must have forgotten. Remember when he first revealed his powers and transformed into the other races. It is him."
"So that is how you stayed on the fleet. I thought you were invisible the whole time or something" Jeff said.
"In the wise words of a turtle killing plumber IT"S A ME!"
Tali no longer hides behind me and examines Edi closely. I warn Tali not to make her uncomfortable. That was my job. "Ancestors, I can't believe you have a body."
Edi replies "I never would have imagine it either. Based on *********'s reaction he appeared to know this would happen. I'm going to have to examine all my interactions with him and search for any more clues."
"Hehehehe I kept telling people to pay very close attention to what I say but they rarely do."
Joker goes up to Rann to introduce himself "Hello My name is Jeff Moreau but everybody calls me Joker. I'm the one flying this ship."
Rann shakes his hand "I am Admiral Rann. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Pilots are well respected in our culture."
Joker is full of himself "Well I am the best pilot in the whole galaxy if you must know. It is good to meet you. Tali talks about you whenever she isn't talking about *********."
"I would expect nothing less. Pilot Joker, where is the commander? I have urgent matters to discuss with him" Rann said.
"Shepard is in the WarRoom. Edi will provide directions. Follow the blinking lights on the floor. It was good to meet you Rann. Will you be staying long?" he asks.
"I do not know. I wish to be with my people, but we'll see where the currents of the galaxy take me" Rann said.
We follow the lights to the war room. Rann comments on how strange it was to meet her first artificial intelligence. Tali mentions she was creeped out too but knows she'll get used to it. Tali asks if there will be more surprises and I said "yes, lots." A certain sadness tints my heart. I knew the Normandy would change, but there is an emptiness to it now. Kelly would have stood at that console and make small talk with me. I miss her. Kasumi would be hiding in that corner over there.
We arrive at the warrrom. The glass walls are opaque for privacy, yet I see one shadow and one much larger shadow. I knock before entering, manners maketh man, and step inside to find a weary commander Shepard and an energetic Wrex Urdnot. I hold Tali's hand as we enter. Shepard smiles to see a familiar visor and goes up to finally hug me, only for it to divert to Tali. Why does he tease me so?
"Oh it is so good to see you again. Welcome back. Hey Tali, where is *********? I was expecting him to be with you." Shepard asks my girlfriend. Tali turns and looks at me. Shepard doesn't recognize me as I'm in quarian form. This will make him realize I'm his bestest friend for evers.
"The Normandy looks awesome! The patriotic color scheme fits your vibe so much better. I told you getting a paint job would make it feel like it's yours. Doesn't it? Huh? Remember?" I pat the confused commander. It takes him a second to register.
"I should have known" Shepard said. He groans in a way that while yes he is annoyed by my special charms, he hates that he loves having me around. "How far do you plan ahead?!"
I reply "Relax it is almost over."
"Hi Wrex, it is nice to see you. You look different. Did you grow?" I ask. He is irritated and snarls at me. My clan brother looks so scary. His towering posture makes me feel small and helpless. The krogan warlord crosses his arms and looks at Tali.
"I see the little quarian girl has a type" he said.
Shepard tries to cool him down "Um Wrex?"
He yells "Not now Shepard. Quarian women why did you break up with *********?"
Tali replies "Wrex I didn't" He looks at our held hands. Tali breaks our connection. HEY! I liked feeling her vibes.
"You didn't even have the nerve to end things properly with him?! How could you betray him like that!" Wrex yells.
Tali raises her hands and backs up "Wrex calm down let us explain."
"No need. With my age I heard all the excuses, but I did not think you would be one to use them. You should have known how much he liked you. All the things he said about you while we were rebuilding the clan" Ok now I am getting nervous. Those things I said are to remain confidential.
I utter "Wrex."
"The kid was enamored with you. Said you were the only one who ever made him feel safe and accepted."
"WREX!"
"He thought about calling you every day because he missed your voice" SHUT UP! YOU'RE MAKING ME SOUND LIKE A SIMP!.
"WREX!"
"NOT NOW bargain basement *********!"
"BARGAIN BASEMENT!"
"After Shepard died, he got drunk and when I carried him back to his cabin he said to me-"
"STOP I SAYETH STOP! Wrex don't you recognize me?" I ask.
The large old alien unstealthily tortoise looks furious and confused at me. That is a look of an inverted teenage mutant ninja turtle. He asks "Who the Kalros are you?"
"What.. how could, he doesn't, AH! I'm hurt, this will teach you" I headbutt my clan brother as hard as I can, the faceplates are produced from a special polymer that is very difficult to break. My forgetful yellow belly sparring partner falls down. Now he is pissed but my fury comes first.
"After all I did for clan urdnot, cleaning up the pebbles, clearing the land, building the windmills, I love those, have you taken good care of those?" He looks at me slack jawed.
"*********?" Wrex asked.
"OW OW OW" The pain in the back of my neck just now registered. I'm sick of this happening. I shift back into my human form, arms spread wide and a dazzling smile.
"I'mmm baaaccckkk. How did curing the geophage go?" I ask.
The conference door behinds us opens and I hear a fast-talking voice I did not think I would hear again.
"********* It's good to see you. I thought of more experiments we can run" the salarian said.
…
"Mordin?"
…
"You're alive?"
"Yes. Why wouldn't I be?" Mordin said. I turn to Shepard.
"WHAT DID YOU DO!" I scold my former boss.
"What are you talking about?" Shepard nervously asks. Unsure why he is being yelled at.
"Did you cure the geophage?" I demand answers.
Wrex answers "No wait how did you do that *********?"
"What? You know they sabotaged it? And you didn't kill Shepard for betrayal?" I need so many answers.
"Sabotage? No, we worked out a deal with the salarians. They upped our birth rate and removed the traumatizing side effects. We will have to renegotiate rights in a century if the reapers don't kill us all. How did you just do that? Wrex ask.
My shoulders lower and I calm down.
"Really? And the dalatrass? Was she a big prick?" I asked.
"No, if anything she was fairly reasonable. She of course had her reservations, but our work has made the galaxy question if we actually are a violent race. Things are fine between Shepard and I. Although some Krogan still demand a full-blown cure, I wished that too, but our infrastructure is not ready yet for a population bomb. Clan brother what happened?" Wrex asks.
"Oh" I let out.
"What?" Tali asks.
"It didn't go this smoothly" I comment.
Wrex turns to the commander and asks "What in Kalros's name is going on here?"
A knock on the door pulls our attention away from the topic of me, and two faces I did not expect.
Ashley walks into the door. She is so happy and immediately runs up to Tali and hugs her first alien friend. "Tali I can't believe it's you. I thought since you returned to your people I'd never see you again."
"I thought I'd never see you again either. So much has happened since I last saw you" Tali said.
Ashley replies "I can't wait to hear all about it. ********* You're back too! I thought you went back to TuChunka."
"No Wrex forgot about me and I don't want to go back. I'm GUILT TRIPPING YOU Not-Grunt" Wrex is going to need therapy for that burn.
Kaiden looks scared to see me again however notices the confused krogan behind me and the exhausted spectre rubbing his eyes.
Kaiden asks Shepard "Do you know?"
"Unfortunately" he said.
Kaiden asks "did he turn up the crazy?"
"Yes but not as much as you think" Shepard said.
"What?" Wrex ask.
Mordin turns to him "Did ********* not inform you?"
Wrex is so confused. He ask himself "Did I inhale too much thresher maw gas or something?"
Ashley picks up the conversational disconnect "what's happening?"
"Wrex I told you what I was. Remember in the restaurant? I turned a spoon to rubber in front of your eyes" I said.
"That was a child's magic trick!' Wrex said.
"No it wasn't" I said.
Shepard asks "Wait did you actually turn it into rubber?"
"YES I am a man of my word. Wrex how could you not believe your favorite human. You really hurt my feelings. My delicate little heart of glass has a crack in it now and IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"
Another knock on the door. In comes Liara. It is getting crowded here and a bit steamy.
I say "Liara it is so good to see you. How is the least hideous asari I know?"
Liara replies "Life has been very… what I thought I know has been shattered. I have so many questions for you but that can wait. How was living on the migrant fleet?"
"Kinda boring and Tali worked alot so I didn't see her a whole lot but now that is over, and we can actually have some real alone time. Being in a hammock with dozens of quarians around doesn't feel secluded" I said.
Ashley asks me "hold on what?"
Tali explains "We started dating after the incident on the horizon. After we destroyed the collector's base I had to return to the fleet and ********* came to live with me. We've been together for about 2 quarian years."
Ashley's eyes light up like the Christmas tree Mordin burned to ash "That is awesome. I'm so happy for you two."
I comment "I didn't think your space racist butt didn't approve of interstellar miscegenation."
"For the last time I'm not a racist" sounds like something a racist would say. Very suspect.
Kaiden asks "Tali did he tell you what he really is?"
Shepard asks him "Wait how much do you know?"
"Not a whole lot. He didn't like talking about it but he fixed my broken leg" Kaiden said.
"What's this?" Ashley asked.
"Hang on a minute. Not that I am complaining but why are these two here?" I ask.
Shepard asks "What? Weren't they supposed to be here?"
"No. Remember one of them is supposed to be dead and the one I saved NEVER SENT ME BROWNIES" I'm yelling alot. My expression generator is getting overworked.
Wrex says "I must be getting old and finally going insane."
Ashley says "Hey Wrex. I'm with you. I'm so confused right now."
Kaiden asks "Who knows?"
Shepard says " I do."
Liara says " I do."
Mordin says "I as well."
Tali says "I know and so does auntie Rann and my dad."
Rann shakes hand with Ashley "Hello it is a pleasure. I am very grateful you becoming friends with Tali. It meant the galaxy to me that Tali had a friend to help her on her pilgrimage."
Ashley takes the admiral's hand "Hi it is nice to meet you. Your niece is one smart gal."
Wrex stomps his foot on the floor, rattling the glass "stop. What is going on?"
"I guess I should tell you guys, but you have to promise me you'll keep it a secret."
Wrex promises he will. Ashley swears to god she will. Kaiden knows better. The three of them sit down and I give them the basics and show them my light body.
Kaiden gets the chills from seeing this again. Wrex falls out of his chair. Ashley stares at me with reverence then asks "are you an angel?"
"No no no and please do not worship me. It is annoying and people won't ever leave me alone."
Wrex ask "Shepard Kaiden, you knew this?"
Kaiden explains "********* has abilities and he healed my broken leg on Virmire. He wouldn't tell me much since he wanted it to be a secret and I'm afraid of him."
Shepard said "He only told us because a drell I was working with knew something was up and essentially forced him to reveal the truth. Kaiden, you can calm down. His bark is worse than his bite. Seriously, he can be really annoying."
"I can leave if you want. I have other things I could be doing" I said.
"WAIT! I need you please don't go."
"Awww you missed me. You tried pretending but you couldn't keep it up. You're happy I'm back. I'm so touched" I dry my nonexistent tears.
Ashley says "I have so many questions and I don't know where to start."
Wrex says "same here."
I ask "can it wait? I just got here and want to unpack, see our room, and chill for a bit."
Tali reminds me we already have everything.
I ask "can it wait? I just got here and want to see our room and chill for a bit."
Shepard says "I want to introduce you to some people before you go off on your own then I need to have a talk with you afterwards. ********* I'm glad you're back.
"I'm happy to be back. I missed my vibe tribe."