I let Shepard led our small pack to the next meet and greet. Only fair he should experience alpha male vibes since this is his ship for now. While I think of more titles for myself to be called when it's time to become the galactic king, Tali asks Shepard some uncomfortable questions.
"Shepard, Javik said my scent was affecting you. May I ask in what way?" Shepard nervously tenses up and I stop walking. Tali a moment too late realizes the rather awkward situation.
"I- uh I've noticed that quarians seem to have the it factor" I never saw him this sweaty before.
Tali asks "The it factor?"
"There is just something about quarian females that I couldn't really place my finger on and now I know why" He said.
"I felt it too. I couldn't explain it but now I know why you were so tempting" I said.
Shepard begs for us to talk about something else while we wait for the elevator. I just now realize i don't want other men in a small airtight box breathing in my sweetie's ravishing aromatic compounds. She is my love bunny. The commander has a blue girl who will look young as long as he lives so fair is fair. I will stand in between them in case Shepard's zombie instincts make him go feral.
Tali asks "who are we going to see now? It can't beat a real living prothean."
Shepard answers "An old friend of mine I met during basic training. His name is James Vega."
Tali asks "Is he an N7 also?"
The elevator arrives and we load up.
Shepard answers "No. You have to be recruited and he was never asked. I'm not sure why. He's a damn good soldier."
I ask "Big guy on steroids right?"
Shepard swivels his head to me "He is taking steroids? That is against Alliance protocols for plenty of God damn reasons."
"That is what I'm telling myself to feel better."
"Oh. Yeah he is a bit of a meathead but a fine soldier. I'd think you'll like him. He takes exercise very seriously. He knows a crap ton about supplements and claims he tried them all" Shepard said.
Tali says "That doesn't sound safe."
"I am interested in how bodybuilding changes in the future. Is creatine still popular?" I ask.
Shepard says "I'm not even sure what that is. My drill instructor focused more on bringing out the natural talents of our bodies. Imagine if he saw me now with all these parts inside."
The elevator stopped at the cargo bay, where there is exercise equipment where my camper used to be. Not that I would bring it back. I'd have to explain to the Alliance how a random camper appeared out of nowhere. But I would have liked the option. That reminds me I'll have to see where Tali and I are staying. Weirdly, there doesn't seem to be that many people on the ship. Shepard must have left Earth in a hurry, and I doubt most people would sign up to be on the front lines with the Reaper's most wanted man.
Shepard introduces us to James the muscle mountain man Vega. Is he my height? Shepard ask us to stand back to back and James is half an inch taller than me. His muscles are huge and veiny. Standing this close to him allows my nose to smell his post workout musk. His muscles must still be pumped up. I'm impressed by his dedication to body building however notice the obvious issues. Those large muscles look cool, but they reduce range of motion and make it harder to run.
James welcomes Tali in his own way "Hey sparks. I'm James Vega. When Kaiden or Ashley are not on mission with the commander I usually am. I'm not as funny as the prothean but am much better looking" is he hitting on Tali? Quick vibe check. No, I don't think so.
Tali asks "Sparks?"
"I-it just came about" he said.
Shepard says "He likes to give everyone nicknames. Don't take it personally."
I introduce myself to the big man "I wonder what name you'll give me. Hi I'm *********. I'm a good friend of Shepard" As my friendly and open palm awaits the handshake, James hesitates and gives me an almost defensive look. He tightly grabs my hand while taking in a deep breath to expand his ribcage.
James said "Hey. I'm letting you know this ship isn't a safe place to be. If you're going to be a part of the crew, I need to know you can pull your weight and handle the heat."
Shepard says "********* can more than handle himself. Actually, he's the strongest one here. He could take even Wrex in a fight."
James laughs "Nah no way."
"He's not kidding" I said.
Shepard says "I'm not kidding."
James is surprised but continues to shake my arm up and down like a gorilla trying to shake a tree branch off. "I can't wait to see what you are made of. You seem like you work out. Feel free to use the weights. They are alliance property but make sure to wipe the sweat off and return them when you're finished. I really need to shower the stink off."
"It was nice to meet you Mr. Vega and by the way, making yourself bigger to be intimidating just gives the enemy more surface area to aim for" James realizes his mistake and slowly deflates.
Shepard dismisses James and pulls us back to the elevator. When the doors close, he asks us to go easy on him. Apparently, his father wasn't the greatest. Jame's dad was not physically or mentally abusive but was not really involved or supportive of him. I wonder if I remind James of his father. I of course would be a much better dad, but the way he looked at me was weird. Most guys are intimated by my aura but James reacted even more so. Perhaps too much masculine energy was in the room. Need a feminine touch to cool things off.
Next stop is the ugh— th-the ewk the english woman. But she is Indian, and they have beef with the royal family too so there is some common ground.
Shepard knocks at Traynor's door. Knock knock… knock knock knock. Must be his secret code. I'll have to invent a better one. The doors slide open and my nostrils are filled with the first scents other than my quarian body odor or the smell of the James. Sage. I'm more of a lavender man myself. Traynor stands up and introduces herself first to Tali.
"Hello I'm specialist Samantha Traynor but everyone calls me Traynor. You're Tali Zorah correct? I read your personal file and may I say, very impressive. My duties are to assist Commander Shepard with communications. Mostly messages from Earth."
Tali shakes her hand "Yes I am. It must be hard what is happening to your home world."
Traynor gloomly looks down "Yes it is. Where I received my degree has been hit hard. Thankfully my parents retired to a colony world years before the invasion, and they are safe for the moment. If you need me to set up an encrypted communication line between you and your fleet I'm your girl."
Tali asks "Do you think that will be necessary?"
Traynor replies "The Alliance has set up a new system using quantum entangled particles for instantaneous safe messaging. Before we used the mass relays to send our messages, but the Reapers likely have spy programs to record anything that passes through. Our new system prevents it from being an issue however the technology to produce it is incredibly expensive and the invasion halted production. I am authorized to give quarians one and only one."
Tali replies "I understand. Hopefully we'll beat this Reapers and kick those bosh'tets back into dark space for good. I love your bracelet by the way." Traynor pulls back her hand, raising her wrist for us to see. A purple amethyst crystal in a simple setting. Tali does love purple things.
Traynor lights up and says "Thank you. I like it because it cleans the negative energy of the room."
Urphs (internally) OH NOOOOAAAAAHHHH!
My whole body flinches at once. Shepard observes me with a satisfying smirk. Tali is sucked in by her claim crystals have an effect on the energies of the room. It makes sense in a way. Quarians don't have access to crystals aside from the rare asteroid mining but those are immediately sold to raise funds for repairs. While Traynor and Tali blab away about the supposed benefits I'm cringing so hard I can barely hear Shepard laughing at my immense secondhand embarrassment.
Traynor asks me "I take it you don't believe in any of this?"
Tali looks back at me and I can tell how confused she is while Shepard's shoulders are bobbing up and down with each chuckle. I shouldn't say anything. Maybe they do work here I never checked.
"Huuuuhhhhh let's just ignore that. Hello I'm *********. I'm sort of an independent contractor for Shepard. I assisted him with taking down Saren and the collector base" I said.
Traynor replies "Shepard has said good things about you and how we should get along swimmingly. I look forward to getting to know you and Tali" Traynor shamelessly looks up and down my girl. OK WE ARE LEAVING NOW! Tali is oblivious to the eyeballs she was getting. Tali assumes she was admiring her suit and oh she definitely was. Shepard saves the day and quickly evacuates us from the situation.
As soon as the doors close, Shepard bursts out laughing. I repeatedly hit my head against the wall, desperately hoping for the slim chance it will break the areas responsible for feeling this way. Tali asks "What I thought you would be happy. Why are you hurting yourself? Isn't she one of your people?"
"NOOO! Oh god please tell me I don't sound like her" I said.
Shepard responds "No you sound insane, but you just happen to be right. Does any of that stuff actually work?"
"I don't know, I never used crystals or anything like that because I didn't want to be dependent on an item. Please tell me she doesn't do tarot cards or crystal balls or anything like that."
Shepard satisfyingly says "Hate to break it to you but she is as superstitious as they come. She's going to want to read your fortune at some point."
"Excuse me I need to make a quick call" Ring Ring to the Nigerian alien "Hey Javik it is *********. Do you want to throw me out of an airlock real fast?"
He hangs up.
Tali asks me "********* why are you acting so strangely? I thought you'd be happy to see another one of your kind."
"Tali, you need to know. There are people who barely scratch the surface of what I can do and use that stuff as tools but there are a whole lot more using that for attention, to scam people for money, whatever. Please don't assume whatever she is saying is true. I'm not calling her a liar, but do not associate me with those people."
"Oh. But I'm interested in getting my fortune read" she said.
Shepard slaps me hard on the shoulder "I'm sure you and her will become good friends while I am away on missions. She has told me all about palm readings and how skull shapes affect your destiny, and I can't wait to see what is true and fake." HE IS ENJOYING THIS TOO MUCH!
"I don't need Javik for the airlock."