Liara is conversing with the humerous robosexual pilot. I know I'm not supposed to judge, especially considering who I had late night encounters with (not cat girls. They look so freaking weird in weird life. That musical movie warned me), but I need skin contact. Eh I'm putting way too much mental energy into this. Whatever gets his swagger dagger's mineral oil going.

Liara insists Edi to come along with us. The more the merrier! A triple date honestly seems a little much. I don't want to pay that bill. I like Joker and Edi, but for a scrawny pilot who rarely gets up, he eats a ton. While formerly cursed with broken bones, he's gifted a fast metabolism. The lucky bastard. Edi declines as she and Joker need "maintenance checks." The tone makes me envious and Joker smile like a mad man.

I ask my sweetheart "Tali, do you want to go back to the sushi place?"

She remembers fondly "The one you took me to on our 6 month anniversary? No let's keep that special. What about that noodle place you like?"

I do love pasta dishes "While I like it, there isn't much for you to eat. Isn't it hard to get the noodles through your mouth opening?"

"Yes but I can sip the broth and save the noodles for later or get it to go." The broth is pretty good, but I want to take her somewhere she'll enjoy also "It gets cold though."

Joker says 'just use your powers to warm it up."

"Oooh. I forgot about that."

Liara asks "how can you forget?"

"I have a deeply ingrained habit of cooking my own food and heat leftovers in the microwave, with the exception of fire bending my uncle Iroh tea."

Shepard approaches my six. I know that because Liara's eyes light up exactly as if a tiger comes across a juicy piece of meat. I turn around and find what a dashing Commander. Out of armor and in the latest style of what is a tuxedo in this day and age. What a handsome man's ego I need to crush.

"Wow! Dressed like that will get Kaiden or Cortez worked up. Liara, keep close at all times."

Shepard squints his eyes and tilts his head "Kaiden and Cortez are engaged. Did you not know that?"

"WHAT! But you're the one in alternate gameplays offering your flesh sheathe to either of them."

Shepard reacts with a funny mix of horror and restrained disgust "I did not need to know that."

Come on hypnotism powers, do not fail me now "Picture it Shepard."

"NO!" He's too strong willed.

"I can't believe they got engaged. How long did they know each other?"

"Not long. Kaiden fell hard and he didn't want to make the same mistake with Jenkins again."

"Wow. Good for him."

Liara perks up "should we ask them to join us? Edi and Joker refuse to leave the ship."

Joker responds, "It is no fun taking your girl out to dinner when she can't eat."

"I know, I feel so guilty making Tali watch as I wolf down this galaxy's finest delicacies." I said.

Tali replies "Honestly, it's fine. Truth be told it is funny watching you eat. You take forever to chew."

"It's because I try to make the experience last as long as possible while you shovel in as much as you can."

"The food you make me is so good I can't help myself."

"Oh don't make me blush my dear. Should we head out? I want to get seeing the council over with as soon as possible."

Liara asks "by any chance, will you show them your talents?"

"NooOOOoooOOO. I tried that in one universe and they would never leave me alone and they literally annoyed me 24/7 until I packed up and left."

Shepard's spectre status allowed us to skip the TSA level of security before we could be graced with the presence of the council. While I picture them as stuck up, a bias from the politicians I normally deal with, while they have similarities such as paranoid as hell, thinking they know better watching from their ivory towers, one of them having a stick up their ass in a non Kaiden-Cortez way, they alright. Valern is my favorite. He told me his sciatic disappeared and he seems very down to earth or the citadel floor. Too bad salarians live short lives. Their vibes are nice and welcoming, except that one I threw into the presidium lake.

Shepard addressed the council and updates them on the current war status "I was able to negotiate a ceasefire with the Quarians and the Geth. Both groups agreed to help us in the fight against the Reapers. There is one final component I need to find in order to complete the crucible and I believe the answer lies on Thessia."

Tevos asks "What has caused you to believe my homeworld has what you are looking for?"

Shepard replies "You've all read my report on the discovery of the cryostasis prothean. His name is Javik and he became part of my crew. He believes his people knew they'd lose the war but left something for the asari in the hope they'd be able to defeat the Reapers."

Liara says "I've had many conversations with the prothean and showed him some of my artifacts. There is something recognizable to him, but he doesn't understand it. We'll know more once we're there."

Valern asks "How is the last prothean? Is he what you imagined?"

Shepard answers "Not at all. His views of war is barbaric and he keeps commenting on things that happened in his cycle that chills my bones. He threatens to throw anything that smells bad to him out the airlock including people."

The turian councilor says "Shepard you have the weird ability to attract the oddest of companions. While you are here, I need to ask. What was that weapon you used on Rannoch?

Shepard plays dumb "what weapon?"

"The one that is currently sending an astronomical amount of energy hurtling through space. Our physicists calculate it will travel at least 100 light years before dissipating. You are very lucky it won't collide with anything, but cargo vessels using the shipping space lanes will have to evade it."

Liara and Tali's eyes slowly creep to me. Their attention hammering into my skull. I briefly make eye contact with Tevos before looking away.

Valern says "Commander Shepard, we know something is afoot. Quite a number of events occurs around you which coincidentally aids us in the Reaper war. The Thorian's spores countering the effects of indoctrination, your so called revival from the dead, miraculously protecting the batarian colony from the explosion of a mass relay-"

Tali asks "How does that help?"

The turian councilor explains "That colony was founded for mining and manufacturing of supplies to aid the batarian hegemony's military and is home to wealthy batarians wishing to distance themselves from their totalitarian government. They have quietly offered very generous financial backing in the war effort in exchange for helping them achieve independence assuming we survive the Reaper assault."

Tali asks "If they hate them so much, why didn't they separate earlier?"

He further elaborates "The batarian homeworld is heavily materialized even by turian standards. Any rebellion would end in a slaughter. It's why the council has never attempted to overthrow the hegemony. We'd win of course but at loss too heavy for the public to justify the war. But now that the Reapers have attacked Khar'Shan and are weakening them to the point the colonists believe they have a chance. Also, their beliefs are changing. They believe the Reaper attack on their homeworld but their diving protection from the mass relay you so eagerly destroyed is proof the hegemony's ways are evil. While it took months for a signal to make it to the next mass relay, they sent footage of the event. Eyewitnesses claimed a magical protective figure saved them. Analysis of footage sent to us determined the figure is a human and your ship was in that area. Do you have something you wish to tell us?" The turian councilor asked.

Tali nudges at me "********* maybe you should show them."

"No Tali I won't."

Telos waves her hand in the air. Two Krogan guards come out of hiding and approach me. My instincts kick in. My famous throat chop on the big one and a kick in the quad for the other. I knock both of them out with a swift punch close to their brain stem. While I was distracted, Tevos's biotics bring me down. Shit! I can't move and using my abilities is the last thing I want right now.

Shepard yells "What are you doing?"

"All of these events have a common denominator of you or *********. We know it isn't your Shepard and no one in any of our intelligence agencies can find a trace of him until your faithful encounter. I'm getting to the bottom of this one way or another."

"Heyheyhey what do you think you're doing?"

"Either you tell us, or I'll probe your mind, forcefully if I have to."

I can't believe they are here too! "NoNoNONo you don't have consent. I don't care what nth wave feminist you are. No means no and that goes both ways."

Liara cries out "You can't do this. It can fracture his mind and that violates dozens of asari laws."

Tevos shouts "Shut your mouth pureblood! Those laws are superseded by war time powers."

Valern protests "Councilor. This is a grave misuse of our war time privileges and you know this."

The turian councilor draws his pistols, aiming for anyone to dare interfere. Tevos kneels down. Her smug look of superiority disgusts me. Her soulless eyes irritate my own. She offers one last chance for me to tell her what I know. My frozen glare is all she gets. Tevos forces a mindmeld with me. Ah, I hate psychics. They give me the worst migraine. I can feel her mental tentacles searching for my thoughts. It's only surface level. I have a plan for when this happens.

"doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo

Baby Shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo

Baby Shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo

Baby Shark!"

The turian councilor asks "what do you see?"

"He's fighting back. He's repeating a song his niece listens to." I never talked about her. How deep is she in?"

"AHHAHA!AHHHAHAH!HA!"

Tali cries out my name. Shepard threatens to kill her if she doesn't stop immediately, but he's powerless at gunpoint.

I beg "Liara please help me."

"I can't. Two asari melding with another and clashing will break your mind."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"

"Shhhh. Just relax and give me what I want to know and this will all be over."

"NO!"

Valern tries to order the turian councilor to stop this, citing several different treaties with no avail.

Tevos surgical incisions into my mind are precise and I can't fight this forever. I can feel her reaching deeper. I won't let her have what I know.

Tevos leans back. Perplexed yet alarmed. "How do you have this much?'

The turian coucnilor asks "what? What do you see?"

"I can't see anything yet but I can feel so much data. There is more information here than in an asari and I can sense so much agony. What did they do to you?"

"ERRgh ERRR Huhhh If you want my memories, then deal with my worse!"

A kinetic blast erupts from my cherish or so I think. The concussive force blows all of us on our backs. My visor hasn't cracked and quickly check my suit for any leaks. I'm fine. ********* stands up. I'm able to see the side of his face and he has a blank face. My cherished human's arms are crossed so tightly his bones must be bending. Whatever just happened has him shell shocked. Shepard calls his name with no response. ********* only reacts when the asari councilor curled up on the floor starts crying in which he shuts his eyes.

Tevos's voice is one of complete despair and agony. Her face winched in pain covered by a thick coating of tears, snot, and salvia. She cries "Please make it stop. I can't handle this anymore. I don't care if I die by cancer or AIDs or a some painful disease. Please body let me die. Once was enough!" Tevos screams of torment piercing something deep in my stomach. No, something behind it.

The realization hits like a krogan slamming into me. I rush to my cherishes's side. My frail arms fail to pry his apart. Moving in front of *********'s walled off face. I whisper his name. To no avail. I beg him to talk to me. He shakes his head no. My long fingers take hold of his human face and my thumbs attempt to peel his eyes open.

He says to himself "It's ok. That's not important. It-it was just… just a momentary spe-speck of my existence. It doesn't matter."

I beg with my whole body and soul for *********. He opens his eyes. Those gorgeous shiny green eyes with the whitest sclera you've ever see has been ripped out and replaced with veiny red eyes of torment and sorrow. If there has ever been one good thing about this damn suit, is that my thumbs can't feel my love's flow of tears.

The turian councilor yells for Tevos to soldier through and try again.

"NOOOAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" ********* buries his face into my neck. His long muscular arms slither lightning fast around my torso, refusing to let go like a python which has captured its prey. My cherished human convulses. What happened to him?

Varlen snaps at his colleagues "That is enough. Your thirst for answers just violated a great many number of laws and made this poor man relive whatever trauma. This was the last straw. I am tired of playing third wheel in this charade of a council. Salarians were the second race to discover the citadel and despite that, you've taken advantage of whatever you want without regard to others. And now in a war that may cost everyone their lives, you continuously abused your war time privileges to satisfy your own personal goals and resulted in mentally breaking Tevos and this man whose done nothing but help us prepare for the Reapers. Councilors if we survive this war, I am turning in my resignation and advising my government to join the new federation of races. ********* I need to repay my debt. What do you need?"

"GET EVERYONE AWAY FROM ME!"

********* sobs and cries and weeps and bawls and howls into my chest. My own soul is pulled apart hearing his screeches. My ribs are about to snap from the force of his hold on me. My own pain is far from the top of my list of concerns. My cherish's rapid breahtes in and out resembling my long-forgotten anxiety attacks. I tell him over and over "your soul deserves peace" with no success.

********* catches a break and says he wants to go back to the ship. Of course, I said we can go back to the ship. I pull him off the floor. Shepard attempts to come closer which causes ********* to react. Raising one hand gesturing to stay back. The Commander gives us space. ********* crosses his arms and lowers his head. I guide him to where we need to go. We quickly leave the council tower. My cherished human can't speak. When we get outside, his hands secure mine to his chest. He pulls me aside to an alley where he manifests a pair of sunglasses. He takes a few deep breaths and says he wants to try walking back to the ship. It's not far. I continue guiding ******** to the ship, momentarily looking back at Shepard and Liara who are just as concerned as I am.

We make it back to the ship. Joker tries asking how it goes before realizing something is off. He asks what happens. I shake my head no. Edi asks why is ********* upset which Shepard orders "Don't." He offers to let us use his cabin. ********* tries to act like everything is ok as we walk through the Normandy, yet we can all feel this all pervading energy of profound melancholy. When we enter the elevator, I try to get my bondmate to open up to me. He says "when were in the cabin." The silence provides both of us a brief moment of repose.

When the elevator makes it to the top, ********* breaks out of my hold. He moves to the center of the living space and quickly preforms some kind of breathing exercise. His loud movements of air into and out of his nostrils sounds like an engine. My cherished slowly turns to observe the fish, giving me a window to his emotions.

"*********... do you want to talk about what happened?"

"No Tali… I really don't."

"But… this isn't going to go away."

"..."

"*********... Please. You can talk to me. What happened?"

"... I… i-it started… I believe…. Before I could breathe. My mom said my birth was long and hard. I was born blue and it left me with problems. I believe the lack of air damaged my brain stem. I remember growing up being so angry nearly all the time and so much energy I couldn't control myself. Whenever something went wrong I would lash out. My parents took me to several of doctors and they gave me poisons which ruined my hormones. It made me with insatiable hunger, and I became obese as a kid. It was one thing after another, I didn't want to be like that forever, but nothing I did mattered. I tried meditation to control my emotions, breathing exercises to attenuate my metabolism, working hard to get the best grades I could, intense exercise and diets to lose the weight which never came off… but I kept getting worse no matter what I did until… I hit rock bottom. I was so so tired all the time, no matter how much I rested, even when I slept for 14 hours. I would wake up shivering in my own bed. It kept getting worse. I had pain… everywhere. Slowly getting worse. It went on for months, maybe even longer than a year. I try to tune it out. To help me cope with the pain I researched buddhism, I thought a practice to reduce suffering would help me… and it did. But eventually it got to the point where I was unable to sleep, or eat, or drink for... three days. My body wouldn't let me, and I couldn't heal. I was decomposing while alive. I was hospitalized and begged for help. But the doctors couldn't help me. I've been going to them my entire life and in the worst moment of my life, they failed me again. I had to survive multiple near death experiences, I never saw or heard anything, but I felt something, which I didn't understand at the time. I told myself if I get through this, one day I'll have friends, a job I'd like, a family of my own, a house where I can have a peaceful life. But I was in so much pain and it got to the point I didn't care if I lived. I begged for death and I was denied even that."

"That- I can't- how horrible. If it was so bad… why didn't you kill yourself?"

"I read a quote where suicide doesn't end the pain, it just transfers it to your loved ones, and I wasn't going to put them through that… but if I died from a medical condition then there would be no guilt."

"That's fucking stupid! They would have felt guilty for not figuring out what was wrong with you."

"I wasn't thinking that at the time. I just wanted it to end and I got so close to death multiple times that I decided to NEVER go through that again. Somehow my body healed a tiny bit. Eventually I was diagnosed with sleep apnea. After some time I was finally able to lose the weight and was so traumatized I pushed my body to keep breaking its limit so I'd never have to go through it again. I started from the very fucking bottom, but it took me years to get in shape. I've always had weird experiences here and there but it was not intentional at first. Buddhism talked about it and other spiritual practices talked about energy. I thought it was metaphorical or a placeholder for something they didn't understand. Heat, blood pressure, etc. One night my family's dog decided to randomly sleep with me and I woke up in the middle of the night with him in my arms. Of course I wouldn't move and wake him up so I just layed there, then my body started to fade away and I felt this shaking sensation everywhere. I thought I entered a weird lucid dream state. But it was the vibrations. I didn't understand it then but learned they were real.

Eventually I got better. I lost weight and was looking forward to my life... Then the pandemic hit, and it just went downhill. I know I was fortunate. No one in my family died and I came from a very supportive family. We looked out for each other. But it felt like no matter what I did, what I truly wanted was out of reach. I used spirituality as a way to help me ease the bad feelings I was having. It eventually got better. I wanted to keep my will power so I gave myself challenges to keep it strong. There was this online challenge called no nut November where we were not supposed to orgasm for an entire month, and I did it and out of curiosity I wanted to see how long I'd last and made it to 100 days. I figured if I could resist the strongest sensation of my body, the discipline would serve me. It was just to see if I could. Shortly after that, that is when something inside my brain broke. I was meditating and feeling something was about to happen. Then the next thing I know, CRACK and I entered this mental blankness with awareness. I have no idea what happened and I passed out. When I woke up, everything changed. I felt blissful and happy. It lasted months and was amazing. Then the weird stuff started happening. It was like the universe was giving me what I needed to know when I needed to and I happened to come across all this stuff and whatever happened altered my hormones, I could feel it because I got so much stronger at the gym very fast. Well after that because I dealt with some really nasty stuff at work, I had the dumb idea to dry fast, which I learned about through online meditation groups, and researched the supposed health benefits, potent detoxing and stem cell division, and decided to aim for two days on a solo camping trip to remove any toxic crap. I was careful and kept water near me at all times. I knew I'd survive because I went for longer in a worse state so I figured why not. Another challenge.

When I entered civilization, people were treating me differently. For the first time they were treating me with the basic respect I should have had. I came to believe this energy vibration stuff was actually real. but by that time, with everything I saw, I didn't want to be friends with these people and if by some miracle I did fall in love with a girl and we somehow would be able to afford our own home, which I was afraid of for years never going to be able to do, and if we did have kids, I'd have to worry about the problems they would inherit, all the crap I went through, having the covid generation be in charge of them and I couldn't put them through that. But I had to make all the suffering I went through worth it. I really wanted it and went through hell to one day have it. I read about the light body and similar phenomena in other religions and thought what if it wasn't a metaphor but something I could actually do and then go to another world where I could have the life I deserved. I knew I'd have a lot of work ahead of me but I came so far already, and I really had nothing else. So when I was able to get my own place, I dove head into raising my vibration as high as I could. It took time and I learned as I went. I fasted for longer periods to remove the lifetime of toxins stored in me. I was able to heal my brain. Then I could control the vibrations much better. I learned how to astral project, how to use my powers to protect myself in case anything happened again, and finally I was able to vibrate so high I could physically travel to other worlds. I regained hope, but I still had my family. So I figured I could live out a normalish life in public and wait for them or I to die of natural causes before leaving my world behind for good. When my parents died, I crossed over and told them everything. There was this window of time I could converse with them before they went to heaven or wherever they went. Back then I thought I couldn't go because I was still technically alive, but when my time came and I still couldn't go… I was crushed. I was separated from my only loved ones. I tried for so long, but something was holding me back. So, I continued working on myself and kept getting closer and closer, but I just couldn't do it. I traveled existence to find anything that can help, and it got to the point where I decided to explore and have fun.

Tali I was attacked… constantly… before I was even out of the womb… from various things. My body damaged, my cells poisoned, my mind tormented, my soul broken repeatedly… and I kept fighting it and winning. I'm a good person. I didn't hurt anybody. I just wanted to be healthy, happy, treated respected, have control over my life, peace, love, kids, and I worked my ass off to get that, went through so much pain and suffering and made sacrifices for those and I still couldn't get that! I fought everything off. I did what I was told to do. I followed the rules and everything changed. My trust was shattered so when the slimmest hope I could somehow leave my world, even if it meant abandoning everything and leaping into the unknown, if only just to get as far away from what you just saw earlier. I found a way and left. I wanted the simplest of things and I conquered everything, even the vibration of my own world to get what I want. Why did I have to suffer so much? Now you see why this is so important to me?"

Tali says "Kee'lah I do. I can't believe all that happened to you."

"It shouldn't have. Do you still love me?"

Tali replies "Of course I do. How can you even ask me that?"

"I need to hear it, Tali."

"********* I love you and I want to give you everything you deserve. Please don't hate me for saying this, but if you didn't go through all that, I'd never be with my bondmate."

"..."

"*********?"

"I'll never hate you but don't ever bring this up again."

"I… I'm sorry. I only want to make you feel better and I don't how."

"I know and thank you Tali but I'm not sure you'll be able to."

"What if I showed you how much I love you? Get on the bed."

"What? Tali what are you doing?"

Tali rips off her visor and starts to remove her suit clamps. "You're going to feel how much I love you. ********* you're the only one for me and I'm going to prove it right now."

"Stop. Seriously stop. Tali I'm touched. I truly am. I have to be the luckiest man ever to have a girl who would so easily break her traditions just to make me feel better, but not now. I'm really tired and I don't want what just happened to set the tone moving forward."

"Really? Are you 100% sure?"

"I am. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You have nothing to apologize for. Cherish look at me before I put the visor back on. I will love you always and I will make sure you get what you should have had long ago. Only wait a little while longer and I promise you'll get what you want soon. Until then I love with my whole heart and soul *********."

"I believe you. I can wait a little bit longer. I love you Tali."

"I love you. Try and get some rest. REAL rest. You deserve it."