My life was unlike the typical human upbringing. First, I was born in space on an Alliance cruiser. My mother thought it best I was not around my father. She never talked about what exactly happened, only that it was consensual and there would be no health problems. While my life was hard, I wouldn't have trade it for anything. I loved my mother and wanted to make her proud. I trained all my life, and I was fucking envious of *********, at first. I would have made good use of his powers. That was until he slowly opened up and gave me glimpses of his world. While he famously never lies, ********* said he lets himself tell jokes, be sarcastic, and exaggerate at times, I believe his world wasn't has bad as made it out to be, there had to be something deeper to push him to such lengths. When Tevos mind raped him and his memory played like a record out that asari bitch's mouth, I saw a broken man. ********* needs help, but I can't do anything, and my focus must be to find the last piece of the crucible.

I call the people closest to me, Kaiden, Ashley, Garrus, and Liara to the War Room. Warning all something awful just occurred. Liara attempts to dissect further to comprehend what just happened. ********* spent most of his time, while not with alien, around me. But in truth, I know very little. I ask Liara if Tevos broke his mind. The melding can't actually break the psyche, his repressed trauma bubbling to the service might.

Ashley sprints into the war room. She is wearing her workout sweats with her hair tied up. The odd mixed scent of perfume and sweat disappears as soon as it arrives after turning on the fan.

She asks "Commander what's wrong?"

"I'll explain everything in a moment. Did ********* say anything to you about what he went through? Did he ever… confess his sins or whatever?"

Ashley takes a few to think "I know he actually ate Dodo bird, but this isn't about that. I know that look. What happened?"

Garrus and Kaiden finally arrive. The tall one asks "Your message said urgent. Did you find out where we need to go next?"

"No. Wait Yes I did but that's not why I called you in. ********* is in trouble."

Ashley rolls her eyes "What did he do now?"

"No, he's seriously in trouble and hurting. Tali trying to calm him down as we speak."

Garrus shows obvious concern for a turian face "I don't like the way your voice sounds."

Kaiden asks "what's going on?"

Liara explains "While we met with the council, *********'s unexplainable good deeds were noticed by the council. In summary, his mind was forcibly probed. Highly taboo in my culture but that did not stop Councilor Tevos. In order to prevent the theft of his knowledge, ********* used his worst memory to block her attempts to access and…"

Ashley continues "And what?"

I say "We have an idea why he decided to become what he is."

Kaiden asks "Commander, respectfully what the hell is going on?"

I say "We're trying to figure it out. He's going to be out of commission for a while. I feel for my friend, but if he has brain damage now… what the hell are we supposed to do?"

Ashley asks Liara "Can you use your melding to heal him? Is that a thing?"

Liara says "Only if he'll let me and I doubt he will."

A knock on the door turns everyone's head to the one person with answers to our question. Tali slowly walks to the door, her three extra long fingers flatten against the glass as she pushes it open. She turns around to carefully and securely close the soundproof doors. I'm afraid to verbally ask, but my face does it for me.

Tali says "********* is trying to sleep. He told me to tell you he is very grateful letting you use your bed."

Garrus asks Tali "Is he alright?"

"No. Shepard he told me what happened to him. He said so much I didn't memorize it all and I don't understand how human cultures actually operate, but he was in so much pain before he was even born, and he fought through that pain for decades, until it almost killed him repeatedly and he had to fight to survive. And when he finally fixed himself, his world…"

Ashley says "In his words if the movie idiocracy and novel 1984 happened at the same time. You're telling me all the stories he told us, the mindfuck of a place he came from, what he had to do to ascend, he did all that while suffering from that do? What a cosmic slap in the face."

Kaiden says "********* told me about his world and I couldn't believe what I heard. Although he never told me how he learned to do what he did."

Tali says "He tortured himself in multiple ways believing he'd heal his body and it coincidentally gave him enough verification to be able to do that."

Garrus comments "If I went through all that, it would crush my soul too."

Ashley shakes her head and talks with her hands, counting the number of absurdities as she goes "Hang on let me get this straight. So he was born with health issues that compounded later in his life, lonely childhood, anger issues he learnt to control, his meds causing even more problems, nearly dying multiple times which caused him to become an exercise god, then when he was finally through the thick of it, his world went to hell with a pandemic, economic paradoxes, World War III, and everything else he lived through. It's no wonder why he wanted out so badly. Why did God torture him so much?"

Tali says "He does not blame God for what happened to him."

I notice Dr. Chakwas speed walking past us, clearly looking for something. Maybe Mordin. I wave hello to her before returning to the matter at hand.

Kaiden comments "It was just one bad thing after another with no end."

Tali says "and all he wanted was a good, normal life after everything he went through."

Ashley says "He's a good man and a hard worker. He clearly fucking earned it."

Another knock on the door. This time it's the famous living Relic. I'm going to bring Javik with Liara and I to Thessia, but I will deal with that later. I crack open the door and tell him now is not a good time right now.

"I did not mean to intrude Commander. I wished to watch the light primitive fight with the Krogans. Did I miss it?" He said.

I reply "There was no fight. Why would you think that?"

Javik says "Because the scents of combat your people call cortisol and adrenaline intertwined with *********'s musk can be smelled all the way from my room."

Liara's omnitool gets a beep. "It's from Dr. Chakwas. It says to get to the Cabin immediately."

Tali and I share the same thought. "Something is wrong!" she said. I push Javik to the side and the three of us run to the elevator. As the metal box rides the cables up, I get this weird sensation.

Liara asks "What is this heavy feeling in the air?"

The slightest crack in the elevators permits the most horrendous screams of agony. Dr. Chakwas is failing to restrain ********* as he thrashes around, his back arching like he's fighting a demonic possession off. He sees Tali and screams at us to get her out of here, before resuming his blood curdling screams.

I yell "********* what's wrong?"

"AAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! I DON'T KNOW! MY ENERGY IS OUT OF CONTROL! BWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! GET TALI OUT OF HERE! I DON'T WANT HER SEEING- HUUUURRRRGHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Tali would have run to his side if I did not stop her. Whatever is going on, she shouldn't have to see this. Tali of course protests. Dr. Chakwas orders her out of the room but for Liara to stay. I pull Tali out of my room and into the cabin. She finds shelter in my arms. Her powerful resonating cries make me tear up as well. I try to console Tali by saying ********* will be alright. He has to. He's the toughest SOB to ever exist. He will be alright. Won't he?

********* called me out of the blue claiming he needs my medical assistance immediately. Curious at first. I assumed it had to do with his romantic matters. This wasn't the case. I wondered what he could possibly want with me. ********* hates medical doctors from multiple bad experiences which he never held against me. Even then his healing abilities are far better than anything we have. I almost waved him off as I have other patients to attend such as Joker and monitor his new skeleton for any changes. That was until *********'s voice became desperate. I grabbed my med bag and head up to him.

I found him lying in the Commander's bed. He's tears are evident enough that he's in extreme pain. I asked him what was wrong, but he doesn't know. ********* asks me to check his vitals. "What's the point?" I ask. He snapped at me to do it. How uncharacteristicly rude of him, but I do. His oxygen is 99% and his blood pressure is actually a little low. His pupils are normal, but his breathing is rapid. My omnitool reads his heart rate is normal. ********* insists I actually listen to his heartbeat and pull out a stethoscope from my bag. His heart is fine and his lungs are clear.

I tell my healthiest "You appear perfectly healthy and even if you aren't, why not kill yourself and reset like you always do?"

********* says "This time is different. Something is very wrong. I'm losing control of my energy and If I die in this state, I could end up somewhere very bad and I don't know if I'll be able to pull myself out."

It is a pet peeve for patients to waste oue time "I checked everything, and you are the picture of health. You're not dying."

"It feels like I am."

When in med school, my professors warned me if a patient ever says they think they are dying, most of the time they are, and ********* would know for sure. His condition worsens and soon after, he starts to scream in pain. Short intense bursts.

"What happening?" I ask.

"No idea. The asari councilor tried forcing herself into my mind and it did something. Chakwas get Liara. Something is wrong!"

His bouts of pain quickly escalate into long sessions of screams more knife twisting then in any horror movie I've ever seen. He falls back on the bed, kicking and hitting whatever is near. Grabbing and twisting the bedsheets. I message Liara right away. She knows her people's ways better than I. Soon she arrives with Shepard and Tali. It claws my insides I can't let Tali be around her love, but I have to focus. ********* is in great torment. He asks Liara through his spasms what is happening.

Liara says "The only way for me to find out is if you let me into your mind."

He hesitates, not enough time to finish a thought before another ear-piercing scream. I'm worried his mental state will negatively impact Liara. In my bag is a tranquilizer. I ask Liara if she'll be able to maintain her connection if he is unconscious.

"NO! No more poison in me!"

"It's not poison I promise. This will help you fall asleep."

"Liara please help me"

"I will but you're going to have to trust me. Let Dr. Chakwas help you."

…

"AHHAHAHAAAHAHAHAH!"

"Liara, I have a lot of bad memories inside of me. Promise me you won't go through any of them."

"By the Goddess I swear."

********* sniffs and nods his head "Please don't break my trust."

"We won't" He opens his neck up to me and I inject the compound into his bloodstream. His taut face slowly releases as he falls comatose. Liara combs through his mind. Her deeply rooted instincts to find the truth are completely absent as she digs through his web of consciousness. Liara is able to soothe the chaos within, but she claims she needs to do a lot more work to help him.

I ask her "what is wrong with him?"

"I believe the combination of the duress caused from the mind meld, over exertion, and stress of the war forced his repressed trauma to the surface of his consciousness. I can't feel his pain, but I can tell how much there is and it's astronomical. He's reliving whatever happened to him."

I ask "How is that even possible?"

"Asari live for so long we face health consequences the other races would never normally have. Accumulated stress from day-to-day life and or traumatic experiences can cause the body to form chronic points of tension in the muscles which can press on the nerves, block blood and lymph flow. It's thought to be a protective mechanism to wait until the environment is safe for your body to heal, but most of the time a little bit lingers and if it builds up, it can cause several diseases in my people. We had developed methods to release the tension so it would not negatively impact our health. But the younger races die of other diseases before it can build up and cause problems, unless someone went through so much trauma in such a short time. He's been carrying this all this time and it's all coming out now."

I should have paid more attention to psychology "What do we do?"

"He's going to have to get through this and release everything. We can try making him as comfortable as possible. I'll do what I can to ease his burden while he's asleep, unfortunately he will have to deal with the rest when he wakes up."