A dark comedy by [girlfriendoftheauthor]. This features OOC Izuku x OOC Fem!Shoto. Some of this is featured in Izuku's Sisters but they ARE unrelated. However, stay tuned as Shoto will do whatever she can to make Izuku hers. Rather he wants it or not! Enjoy!

Shoto Todoroki couldn't the sight right in front of her. Her beloved Izuku was sitting alone at the wooden benches at the pavillion nearby the courtyard. It brings her weeping pleasure to see her beloved puppy sitting alone. It yearns her to cuddle him and to nurture him with her nutrients. How badly she wanted him. She craved him like the air she breathe. She craved him as she craved her sickening wretched of a mother. She even craved for Izuku the way her father treated her to show her full potential as a superhero.

She took a couple of snapshots of Izuku as he ate his lunch. If she remembered correctly in her Deku Memo, his mother prepared an old-fashioned grilled ham and cheese sandwich with mayo and light mustard. She knew that Izuku detested discounted meat, especially when it was on sale. He would call it mystery meat as she knew that his mother was a thifty spender. She sighed as she felt that her loving cinnamon roll needs a decent and well-balanced meal. Many things she mentally prepared to express to her future mother-in-law.

Certain things were going to touch his palate. All-natural, fresh from the farm itself. And she wasn't talking about poor, wretched sows of the slaughterhouse.

Luckily, she had prepared a well-balanced meal. Her sister, such a lovely creature. She remembered the very night she assisted Shoto with Izuku's meal. Sharp, two-edged knife gliding gently on Fuyumi's dimples. Words like why should I, do I have to were the things of the past. Fuyumi was delighted in helping her sister. Why not? Whatever Shoto wants, she gets. She had to thank her father. Oh, dear Papa Enji. He had one too many fights. If it wasn't on the field, then it was at home. One day, Papa Enji had one too many. And she wasn't going to say anymore. For she is a great person. She didn't want to go into detail. She feared that she would lose interests of certain fans and readers if she went that far. She was better now for she looked forward to the wonderful, happy things she was going to do for Izuku.

"Today is a happy day," she said with absoluteness as she skipped along to find her beloved cinnamon roll. She walked as she saw Minoru Mineta groaning on the ground. She forgot he was still there. Earlier, the teen asked her if was cute if she wanted to learn how to bust a nut. "Mineta, sweetie. Next time you tell me about wanting to bust a nut, I will actually learn how to do it. Using yours! Capiche?"

Minoru groaned in agreement as he rolled himself into fetal position.

She smiled as she edged at the corner. She could smell the chlorine from when they were swimming earlier in PE. Seeing Izuku in his tight swimming trunks and his Adonis made the teen amorous. She was soaked and she didn't even had her turn to swim yet. Katsuki thought it was cute to switch sizes to embarrass Izuku. Poor Izuku, happy Shoto.

Earlier in the day….

'Yo! Look at the asshuggers I got Deku to wear,' Katsuki told Eijiro and Denki as they were waiting their turn in line to go to the pool. 'Isn't he gullible or what?'

'As always, Bakugo. As always,' replied Eijiro flatly.

'Seems like you don't like my pranks anymore, you baka,' retorted Izuku.

'If you get to Iida, Kaminari, Monoma. Someone other than Deku. What are you? Cardin Winchester?'

'What are you saying?'

'If you are going to prank, then diversify,' replied Eijiro. 'Hell, throw some pranks on some girls. Let us see skin or something.'

Denki spoke for the first time. 'True, Eijiro. At least guys like Eric Cartman have others to bully besides Kyle. This constant Izuku thing is starting to get sad. C'mon, I am beginning to think there is something up.'

'What are you saying? You are calling me sus?'

Denki shrugged his shoulders. 'Your words. Not mine!'

'Screw you, baka. Screw…' It was interrupted. Katsuki's eyes were widening. His eyes became watery. As he began to scratch his crotch.

'Dude, what's the matter?' Denki looked as Katsuki began to groan loudly.

'Feels like my dick is on fire,' he shouted loudly. That resulted in a resounding laughter from the class. He continued to scratch his groin, even to the point that he took off his swimming trunks. 'It's burning! It's burning!'

As the others were laughing at Katsuki's misfortune, Shoto had a one-woman show as she watched Izuku jumped into the pool.

His landing was perfect according to Shoto as she fluttered over him.

'Izuku did a great job at landing, didn't he?' Shoto's flowerly moment of beauty darkened when realizing that she wasn't the only observor on her Izuku. 'Uh?'

She should've known that goody goody two-shoes Pony Tsunotori was observing her piece of beefcake. Why would this wretched foreigner want to do with him.? Typical American gargabe! You already got us at Hiroshima and Nagasaki. You have bases out here. Now you want to take Izuku as well? The cold day in hell you take this Manifest Destiny. He is mine, you fucking sakuraniku glue stick cum choker blonde bimbo SHREW!

'Yeah, he is amazing at swimming, isn't he,' replied Shoto in a fake smile.

'Wonderful, talented,' said Pony. 'I wonder if he can give me lessons.'

Yeah, lesson on slowly pulling your nails from your fingers. Or better yet, clipping off your horns little by little with a nail filer.

Shoto put on a fake smile. 'Not certain. He is quite shy.'

Pony produced a smile as she blushed. 'I think I should ask him when I get the chance.' If Pony would have paid attention to the heat stemming from beside her. Or better yet, tiny minuscule cracks forming around the bleachers.

'Pardon me.' Shoto bowed to Pony as she excused herself to go to the restroom. Apparently, Katsuki wasn't her only interference of the day.

Back to the present….

As she headed to Izuku's direction, she reminded herself to discard the counterirritant topical ointment she borrowed from Aizawa-sensei's office as soon as she can.

Oh, my God! He is so deliciously yummy. I wouldn't know what to do if I can't have him. I would lose my fucking mind!

The sound of a tray hit the table. The emerald-haired shifted his eyes to see a charming angel upon him. Her glistening eyes were shining in the sunlight. He had sworn that he had gentle voices calling him.

"Izuku, Izuku!" Izuku returned from his thought as Shoto was staring at him from the other side of the lunch table. "Are you okay?"

Wanting to play coy, he rubbed the back of his head. "I'm great. Just pondering on this meal I am about to devour." Shoto covered her mouth as she pointed at his lunch. "I think Nirengeki may have gotten to you first."

Izuku shifted his head towards the sneaky Nirengeki as he ran from his sight. "No giveys, backseys!" Izuku didn't care about the mystery lunch meat anyhow. Be as it may, the emerald teen was still hungry.

"Care to split?" Izuku thought his ears were deceiving him when hearing the goddess asking him a humble request. "Come again, Todoroki?"

She used her chopsticks to point. "I was saying if you want to split. Fuyumi made leftovers and I didn't want them to go to waste." She reached into her lunch bag and gave him a pair of wooden chopsticks. "Want some?"

"Sure! Why wouldn't I? Thanks." If God were to take him to heaven, he still wouldn't be ready as the little piece of heaven was right in front of him. And she is letting him share his lunch. He didn't know how he could take it.

Hamburgers, rice, poached eggs, and a cupcake for dessert was on the menu. The way Fuyumi cooks, it should be featured in a magazine, but instead it was to go into Shoto's mouth. His mouth watered knowing that he was going to share a lunch with her.

"Better eat fast, Izuku," she told him. "You know I can eat."

He blinked his eyes feverently. "Yes! Of course!"

He turned red, contrasting his freckles as he tasted heaven in each morsel. As he try to savor every bite, Shoto was eating her delicately. Such charm, such grace as she patted her handkerchief following every bite. Even how she positioned her chopstick was delicately well-placed.

"Is it tasty," asked Shoto calmly. Specially made and well-seasoned with natural flavors. Teehee!

"Yes! It is tasty. Thanks!"

"Great! I've helped my sis with the poached eggs and rice. I hope I did my best."

"Like an angel. Like an angel."

She swallowed roughly. "What was that, Izuku?"

"Angle," said Izuku as he coughed. "There is a certain angle on how to cook rice. My mother told me about it."

Shoto covered her mouth to keep herself from laughing. "You're funny, Izuku."

"I'm here all week," said Izuku jokingly. "You've been warned," he replied in a mocking voice.

He is so cute when he wants to be hilarious. What is mine is only mine. And I'm ready to kill for it, my love.

Later….

"What are you doing Saturday night?"

Izuku paused in mid-conversation as Izuku and Shoto were walking through the library. Shoto mentioned that she was looking for a good book to read and asked Izuku if he would come with her.

"Nothing this weekend," he replied nervously. "What do you want?"

Shoto cusped her hands together. She held onto her empty boxed lunch gently as she was turning shy. Izuku, himself, shied away when seeing her flushed beauty.

"Why are you blushing," she asked him.

He grabbed his collar. "It's...it's...the heat. Yes! It is very hot in here. That is why."

"Oh, okay," she said as she nodded her head. "Well, anyway, I wanted to see if you are free Saturday night because I have a spare ticket to go see The Lion King." She averted her eyes before trying to make contact with Izuku. "It's my favorite movie and I've seen plenty of times in cartoons. Now it is CGI, I wanted to know if you could come with me." She rubbed the sole of her shoe. "That's because my brother thinks that movie sucks and I want to go. So, if you are…."

"Yes!"

"What!"

"Yes, I will go with you. Um, for not wasting a spare ticket."

He wants to go with me? Yes! YES! YES!

Izuku felt as though the angels were delivering enchanted melodies. Shoto grabbed a pen and wrote something on a sheet of paper as she gave it to him. "This is my address to my house. I hope to see you this weekend." She bowed. "I have to go find this book. See ya!" She bowed once more and ran out of sight.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! He said yes! He said yes!

She retreated to the corner of the library where she found a seat. She opened her Deku Memo. she began to write.

As if the gods were on my side, luck be a man today as I am going on a date with my Izuku. Although he thinks we are hanging out. It's a date. It's definitely a date. Yes, we will go to the movie and takes lots of pictures. I will post it on Instagram and Facebook. I will let those bitches know that Izuku belongs to me. Oh, my God. I can't when we share our first drink. When we hold hands. When we can kiss and maybe…. Oh, I can't. The thought is so naughty. So so naughty. I need to be careful or I drench another page of this journal. Oh, the nights I am drenched my sheets for my sweet. Oh, the amount of toys I have destroyed in the name of my precious Deku. People think I might be crazy. I am. I am crazy. But it isn't crazy when you are in love. I am to protect him. I have so many plans, especially our wedding. Let me stop. That is supposed to be a secret. I have planned this for months. I have made guest invitations, locations. I even have the wedding dress. Oh, I can't wait until I can become Mrs. Midoriya. Stop, Shoto, stop. Izuku has a right for him to propose. He will propose. On his knees, covered in my juices as he professes my love in the love drunkeness I've prepared. Tonight will be the night. Oh, my God, I might be batshit crazy. But if love makes you batshit crazy, then I won't stop. Even if you begged not to, I won't stop until you are speaking in tongues about me. I love you, Izuku. You will always be mine. You will always be mine.

She closed the book. "And there's nothing a bitch can do to stop it." She had to return to class. She reminded herself to stop by the pharmacy after school. She needed a few items to make this weekend special.

To be continued….