My name is Zenith.

Was, Zenith. Is still Zenith. It depends on my current state of living. Am I dead? Or is someone just snooping through my journal?

I don't really care. I can't choose my destiny, but I can choose what I become. A girl once said that a long time ago, I can't remember who, but it's definitely stuck with me.

I could be like all the others, say I was just an average girl in the early twenties. I love reading, I know what other people tend to write regarding stories like these. I am not average. And if anyone were to suggest such a notion to my face I would quirk an eyebrow at them and laugh behind my breath. I was exceptional. Not some next coming of Einstein or whatever, but certainly smart and also socially aware. A rare combo if I had to say so myself.

I was also an arrogant little shit. Still am, just… not as much. It's hard to keep up that part when I realized how quickly 'not special' meant in the vastness of the universe where there were people who so clearly stood above the grain.

Getting off topic again. What's the point of a journal if I just ramble the whole time? Yes I know you can read this. It was your idea in the first place. Don't think I can't tell you're reading this over my shoulder. Don't poke me, that's rude!

Yes okay fine. I get it. I was a totally average girl who did average things such as go to school for computer engineering, did theater for a decade, write novels in my spare time and think of myself as better than others. Don't like it? You're the one snooping in my journal anyways.

Not you, the person over my shoulder. I meant you, the person looking at my journal.

Ugh. This isn't making any sense. I'm just going to edit this part out when I publish this anyways.

This is the story of how I woke up in another universe, starting from rock bottom. Literally.

Chapter 1. I hit rock bottom.

I did not like smoking. I did not smoke. It's not that I had anything against it, I just didn't like it. Tried it once, never again.

Which is why when I discovered that I was smoking. I was probably the most confused girl in the world.

I coughed out the smoke that was in my lungs and shook the cigarette in my hand. Using my spare hand I waved away the leftover fumes and deposited the instrument of my lung's irritation into the trash. The gritty feeling in my mouth was unpleasant, but I didn't have any water near me to wash it out.

It only took a few seconds to survey where I was. A supply closet, or something similar to it.

What the hell?

I could have sworn…

What was I just doing? I remembered going to sleep and waking up. But from up until then… nothing. Everything was blurry. As if someone had taken a video completely out of focus and only just now adjusted the aperture into clarity.

I fished my phone out of my jeans pocket and… realized I was not wearing jeans. Still had my phone though, but no jeans? I literally didn't own anything besides them. I had one skirt, but most certainly not the shorts and tights combo that I had on at the moment. At least it was warm.

Alright. Deep breaths. This wasn't the strangest thing to wake up to. I had woken up to weirder things, somehow. High school was certainly a wild time.

Just need to check my phone and-

Nope. Password didn't work. Ok. That's fine. Facial recognition… was not on. Neither was the fingerprint scanner.

Huh. Okay. Try an old password? 5023. 1998. 2112. None worked.

Locked out of my own phone. Waking up in a supply closet. Dressed in clothes that weren't mine. Occam's razor. I was dreaming. That was it. Simple.

Great.

I didn't do something like slap myself. I liked dreams like these. They usually didn't end in my untimely death but more of a fun adventure that my brain would conjure. It was times like these that I would wake up and marvel at just how creative dreams could be, they often led to fun ideas that I would jot down or write about later.

So of course, this left just one option. Exploration.

I turned around and pushed my way out of the door to the closet. Anything could be on the other side. Anything. There could be a great talking lion on the other side. Maybe a witch, a white one or one of the west.

Was I in the wardrobe?

My innocuous wandering mind aside, a clinic was not something I expected.

"Zenith. You're done already?" A voice called to me.

The call of my own name caused me to straighten my back involuntarily. "Yes?"

"Oh. Good. Can you bring me my bag?"

My eyes naturally fell to the middle of the room. There was a bag, too big to be called a purse, on the center table. It was the only bag I could see, but I liked being safer than being embarrassed.

"Sure. The big one or the small one?" I asked the woman.

That got me a strange look from the woman, she was at the side of what I could only assume was a patient. "Did you get me a new bag?"

"Nope." I said, before grabbing the only bag and bringing it over to the raven haired woman.

If there was one thing I hated over everything else, it was being looked at like I was stupid. I'd much rather say weird things to fish for information and get weird looks than ask questions other people consider stupid. Luckily, this method usually worked. Dreams weren't an exception, apparently.

The bag was much heftier than it looked. A peek inside revealed a variety of medical tools. Not exactly surprising, all things considered.

"Put it on the stool next to me."

I did as the… doctor instructed. For what else could she be? And placed the bag down. She grabbed a few things out of it, namely a roll of gauze- ah, wait. That was a compression wrap. And started to wind it around the patient's exposed ankle.

I didn't do much, nor did the doctor ask much from me. Was I some sort of nurse? Assistant? There were a few other things that I noticed as the doctor went to work. The room I was in wasn't a normal hospital or clinic. The beds the patients were on were literal beds, not the usual kind someone would normally find. The bits of metal that held the curtains between beds had browning of rust on them, but they weren't dirty.

It was more of a home clinic than anything official.

The doctor was pretty. I couldn't really think of any other word to describe her. She was older than I was, probably around her early to mid thirties, but that did nothing to detract from her appearance. It seemed to only enhance it, with her dark-blue hair framing the sides of her face well. Her eyes were red- not as in bloodshot, but more of the iris itself being red. She had a beauty mark just below the right side of her mouth, one that had the side effect of drawing my eyes towards her lips.

"All done Agatha. Thank you for being patient." The doctor said after finishing up her wrappings.

The patient, Agatha, gave a smile and clasped her hands around the doctor's. "Thank you as always, Natasha. I don't know what we would do without you." And then turned towards me. "And you Zenith, it's always a treat to see you helping around."

I probably shouldn't have been so surprised to be addressed, but I really didn't do anything. "It's nothing. I hardly did anything." I waved her off.

"We're just glad you're okay." The doctor, Natasha, said.

Natasha. Natasha Natasha Natasha. The name sounded familiar. I couldn't quite place it however, as it seemed just a tad out of reach. It would come to me eventually, either during the dream itself or after I woke up.

Agatha propped herself up using my support and with the assistance of a cane, made her way outside of the clinic. It was the brief flash of the outside that caused me to pause.

Outside the clinic was… dim. But I had the distinct feeling that it wasn't night. The ground was dark, as if it was made of chiseled rock rather than concrete, and the building across from us seemed old but still in use. The nagging sense of deja vu started to rise up within me. I was not a fan.

"Natasha." I said out loud, moreso as a test of the word in my mouth, rather than actually addressing the woman.

"Yes? Everything alright Zenith?" Natasha said, turning my way after organizing the patient's bed. The vial containing some sort of green liquid made a soft jingle.

I chewed on my lip for a moment before shaking my head. "Nothing. Do you need me for anything else?"

Natasha tapped a finger against the side of her face for a few moments as she thought. "Not for here. Can you track down Sampo instead? We're supposed to be getting a shipment of supplies but there hasn't been any news of that yet. I want to make sure everythings fine."

Sampo. Right. Another name that was familiar. "Any idea where he is right now?"

"Check by the boxing ring. He mentioned a few days ago something regarding gambling. I'll send him another text but he's not responding."

I nodded. "I'm sure I'll find him eventually." I said it more confidently than I felt.

"Thank you, Zenith."

"Anything for you."

There were no stars in my dream. Instead it was a great chasm that extended heavensward. The ceiling of it was visible, but it was more akin to a panther's eyes in the darkness. Visible but surrounded by the void from all sides.

I didn't like it. It felt odd, there were too many details and too many people. The town, whatever it was called, was clearly run down. There were tools strewn about on the sides of the road, pickaxes and shovels, along with wooden crates and boxes that made for a makeshift resting place for some of the folk who were laying on the side.

In some odd way it reminded me of a city near my home. It was a wealthy city, with companies and skyscrapers everywhere. But if you took a walk through the streets, especially at nights, you would find sights similar to this. Things casually strewn about, people resting on the sidewalk.

I got nods from people I made eye contact with, some of them even waved. I didn't wave back, but I did nod to acknowledge them. Typical city behavior, act like you belong and no one will question you. The first life lesson one can learn when living in a city.

The second would be to never take your hands off your belongings. One that I employed gratuitously now. I had the feeling that wouldn't happen to me, but that could simply be fake confidence from living next to the city my entire life.

Finding the boxing ring didn't really take that long. Finding Sampo there took even less time. In a room full of people dressed in the same worn down garb, he was the only one who stood out with his pristine looking armor. The fact that he had blue hair, and seemed to visibly wince when we made eye contact only helped a tiny bit.

When I took a step towards him, it was as if Sampo's entire demeanor changed in an instant. Gone was the man who was previously casually watching the matches and in its place was a customer service machine.

"Well well if it isn't little Zenith. How may I help you today?" Sampo asked me, his smile was blinding.

"Well well well, if it isn't little Sampo." I shot back. The 'little' he added to my name irked me just a bit.

"Oh finally decided to get a sense of humor eh? Did Belobog warm up or is this just a special day?"

Belobog, another name I filed away. I had a not so sneaking suspicion of what was going on and it was really only the fact that I was in the middle of something that let me keep moving forward.

"Natasha is wondering where the supplies are. She said you weren't checking your phone."

Sampo fished out a broken device, it was the tool in question. "Some kid shot an arrow straight through it. Almost took out my lovely behind too! Alas, I have some wonderful padding in the area so I am unharmed." The man said dramatically.

I frowned. "Oh." I felt a little bad about the phone but… "The supplies?"

"One track mind, always good to have." Sampo sighed. It seemed to be more for dramatic effect than anything else. "It's been enough time that I can probably go back up and get them. You're coming with me."

"What? Hey!"

I barely had a moment to process his words before he started to take off. While I wasn't that much shorter than him, the fact was his strides were longer left me half-jogging to catch up.

We went through some windy off-exit of the town and moved through the cavern. We made a small detour to pick up two relatively heavy crates and carried them with us. The path we were taking certainly wasn't a main one, as there weren't any lights along the way. It was cleared, meaning it was possible that it was intended to be one, but it never got around to being paved.

The relative silence that we were in let me think about my circumstances. I felt uneasy about the entire thing. Everything felt too connected. Too coherent. My dreams always had a plot, but it would often jump around here and there. This one felt like it was stretching on, and my sense of time wasn't distorted.

What was I doing in the start of this anyways. Smoking? Was I on a break?

I didn't like it one bit. It put a gnawing sensation in my stomach, a familiar feeling of anxiety buzzing through me.

"So supplies…" I started a leading sentence, hoping for Sampo to fill in the blanks.

"Ah, ah ah. No talking during this part."

I pursed my lips. "Not even a little?"

"You know the drill. Wait till we're up on the surface. I know Natasha has been keeping you playing nurse in her clinic but Oleg is busy and you're able bodied."

"Right." I sighed. There goes that idea for fishing for information.

It didn't take us much longer to break ground. Or… surface, in this case. The first thing I noticed was just how bright everything was. The snow combined with the sun nearly blinded me. The second was the chill. While it was moderately cold in the cavern below, the air was stagnant, much unlike the biting winds up here.

At the very least my attire kept me from freezing over. My tights especially seemed to cling to heat and-

Oh.

Thermal tights. The shorts and tights combo made a lot more sense now.

"What?" Sampo asked.

I looked at Sampo in confusion before I realized I said my last thoughts out loud. "Nothing. Don't worry about it."

He raised an eyebrow. "Don't need you going crazy on me while we're up here."

I huffed and shook my head. I wouldn't be surprised if that was already the case. Didn't need others thinking it though.

There was a bit more walking to do, but we eventually came to an abandoned city district. Two girls- short women, I corrected myself, were sitting down with three big boxes side by side. They were talking to each other but stopped and got up when they saw us.

"Hello my gallant friends!" Sampo greeted them.

The dramatic nature in which Sampo spoke garnered a sigh from the purple haired one, and a giggle from the blonde one.

Their names were on the tip of my tongue. "Hello… Pela. Lynx." I said to the duo.

Pela nodded my way. "Hello Zenith. And… Sampo." The way she said Sampo was as if she were talking to an insect.

Lynx cracked a smile. "Hi Zen, Sampo."

"You wound me. After all this time and yet I'm always met with such… chilly reception." Sampo gasped in mock hurt.

Pela visibly cringed at that. "If you weren't causing us so much trouble then maybe I'd be a little happier."

"Alas. Such is the way of life."

Pela sighed. "We don't have much time. Cocolia has the guards on lookout for a trio of people. Apparently they committed some sort of crime right under her nose. I've already been here too long, I had to fend off people asking where I was during this."

For some reason that got Sampo's attention. "A trio? One with pink hair, One with silver hair and one with black hair?"

Lynx was the one that answered. "Yep. That's them. Geppie is in a tizzy trying to find you and also having to deal with them. But I think lady Bronya took over for the three stooges."

Bronya. Another name I recognized. I chewed on the inside of my lip.

Pela coughed. "Anyways. Without talking more about the situation with the guards in front of someone who's currently wanted. Here's the medical supplies you all needed." She said, taking the box from my hands.

"Thanks." I said. "Here's the… stuff."

Dumb. I should just stop talking. I've basically been winging my interactions with everyone up until this point.

The shorter blonde woman laughed. "Geomarrow, Zen. I swear you forget what it's called every time."

"Did you finish your next book?" Pela asked me as I was reaching down to pick up one of the boxes of medical supplies.

I paused for a second to process the question, before shaking my head. "No. Sorry. Not yet." I fibbed.

It was redundant to comment by now that I had no idea what sort of person this dream-Zenith was, but hearing that she was similar enough to me at least caused it so that the curve balls thrown at me were all within striking range. Full books though? Dream-Zenith was ahead of me.

"Hmm. Oh well. If you need some feedback you can always shoot me a text. I'm looking forward to it."

"Of course."

Sampo was oddly silent throughout the entire exchange. I say odd, but the reality was that I had no idea how he was normally. He didn't strike me as the type of person to stay quiet like that though.

Our respective duos dispersed afterwards. Sampo carried two of the boxes while I carried one. I waited for him to lead the way back to the tunnel towards the underground, but he stayed still and silent, as if he was contemplating something.

He didn't get long to do so however, as a riot of noise started to come from a few blocks off. It was the distinct sound of fighting, a sound recognizable by anyone, from anywhere.

Sampo made an annoyed click with his mouth. "We have to check that out." He told me.

He set down his crates and I followed his example. Moving quickly towards the noise, we maneuvered through the abandoned neighborhood until we got right up and personal at the scene of action.

The names came easily now.

Dan Heng, March 7th and Stelle were there, fighting off a squad of guards. Bronya was in the back, delivering orders to them but it was clear that the trio was doing a good job at holding their own. Whenever a volley of attacks were focused on the trio, March 7th would use whatever sort of magic power she had to shield them from attacks. Some sort of ice barrier. Dan Hen would move in after, taking advantage of the space and creating an opening for Stelle to follow up with.

Honkai Star Rail. That's what this was.

I played it on release and finished the story. But I gave away my account to my friend afterwards since I needed to focus on real life.

I had known for some time now, but it was different enough that I could deny it. People didn't look the same face to face as they did on a screen. I hoped that this was just a dream. A very realistic dream.

"Should we help them?" I asked Sampo.

"Not-"

Sampo cut off his response mid sentence and yanked me closer to him by my collar. I nearly gagged at the sudden jerking around and I could feel my anger flare, until there was a whizz of something that flew past my ear, cutting just shallowly into my cheek.

The object bounced off the building behind me and lost its momentum. It came to a slow roll in front of my feet and allowed me to take a look at what it was.

A bullet.

I slowly put my hand up towards my face and winced at the sudden flash of pain, blood was oozing from it slowly and stained my hand with a thin line of it.

"-Yet." Sampo finished, giving me only a glance.

I'd like to say that I wasn't freaking out. That my mind wasn't running both a million miles a second but also frozen in place at the turn of events. But it was doing exactly that. My heart was pounding inside my chest and my veins felt colder than the biting winds.

The fact that I could have died loomed over me, but what loomed over even that was the fact that this was not a dream. The anxious seeds from before had only blossomed in full.

My hands were stained red with reality. And that terrified me.

Start: July 22nd. 2023.

End: July 25th. 2023.

Words: 3705

So this is… something. I'm going to be utterly shameless in writing this simply because it's fun. Zenith is like… 95% me. I don't even know if the star rail community likes self inserts but I guess it's too early to tell.

Tbh I don't care what others think tho I just have fun. This is like 50% an experiment in writing first person and 50% character study.

I'll tag this as gen FOR NOW. I have a feeling once I get to xianzhou I won't be able to stop my degeneracy however.

Can always check me out on the bird app. NightshadeFN