Chapter 32: A Grim Picture - March-April 1994

Harry felt incredibly good.

The trio's plots were going well enough, including learning to become an animagus.

Harry was finally on top of his schoolwork. For their Care studies, he and Luna had made a nostalgic trip into the Black Lake to practice their mermish. Under the surface of the water was still eerie, but by the time their gillyweed wore off Harry found that he missed the quiet of the lake.

Harry was getting along well with most students and professors, which made Professor Snape's disdain sting less. Harry even thought that Snape looked fairly well and was no more acidic than usual, so his service for Voldemort might be minimal.

When Ron told him the news about Dumbledore in their March secret meeting, Harry felt like he was thrown abruptly off a cliff.

"Can you repeat that? I must have misunderstood."

"Dumbledore's hand is all black. I think Snape's the difference."

"Dumbledore's dying again?" Harry's mouth tightened. His mentor was dying, again. Ron and Hermione had been working on him for years to see the man as they did, but Harry still had some affection for the old wizard.

"Yes," Hermione said impatiently. "I suppose we don't have time to ruin him before that."

"No," Ron agreed. "We need to work on Voldemort. Dumbledore may well be gone before that wraps up. And we won't want to change his position before Voldemort is defeated since that could shift non-Hogwarts dynamics that we know nothing about. We don't want Voldemort taking over the Ministry, or whatever."

Hermione gave one last bitter sigh. Like a light switch, she changed angles to talk to Harry. "I'm sure this is hard for you."

Harry spoke a half-formed thought slowly, "Dumbledore and I haven't talked at all this year, and last year's conversations were twisty and layered. I guess I don't feel quite as connected to him as I did before."

"That makes sense."

To avoid getting lost in his thoughts, Harry asked, "Does this change anything for us?"

Ron answered. "I've been wracking my brain, but it's not anything crazy. We need to confirm that he destroyed the horcrux, and anticipate if Voldemort suspects the horcruxes are being hunted. That might force us into a early confrontation, which we already started to prepare for."

"Is Dumbledore wearing the ring?" Hermione asked.

"Yes. I didn't see it at first, but I've been watching closely since. I can't imagine it's still a horcrux, but I'd like to know for sure all the same."

Harry sighed. "I'll talk to Snape about it when I can." Snape had been the one to slow the progression of the curse last time, so Harry expected that he'd know what was happening.

Hermione asked Ron, "Can you explain what you were saying about Snape earlier?"

"I think he's been spending time in Little Hangleton, and with Voldemort himself. Bone of the father might have led Snape to Riddle's father's gravestone. Hanging around, he also could hear local gossip about how Riddle Senior married the Gaunt daughter after her father and brother were sent to Azkaban."

"That would make sense." Hermione nodded. "I could see Snape finding the Shack but deferring to Dumbledore to check it. Snape wouldn't have a reason in Voldemort's eyes to snoop, but the old man could."

Harry asked, "Do you think that the stuff Dumbledore told me about Voldemort during sixth year was actually uncovered by Snape?"

"Possibly."

Harry knew he was pouting. "It's unfair. Dumbledore got all of the credit. He got the white tomb on school grounds and the big funeral."

Hermione asked, "Do you think Snape would have wanted any of that, though?"

Harry slid down in his seat. "No," he admitted. "But it affects how I feel about it all."

Even back when Harry was fighting for Snape's Order of Merlin, there was always a part of him that just wanted to understand, to know all of the secrets so he could finally decide how to feel about his first 18 years of life. I have all of these mixed-up views about what happened, what's happening.

Ron said, "The truth is powerful."

Hermione said, "I would actually look at this the other way around: your relationships are probably more important than the actual truth. Relationships sort of frame the truths that matter?"

At Harry's confused look, she elaborated, "You thought you had a particular type of relationship to Dumbledore and Snape, and you found out that neither matched how they viewed you back. That's more important to me than, say, how Lily and Snape actually swapped bodies."

Harry said, "You might have a point about Dumbledore. He said it was a weakness that he cared for me. That kept me up at night for years."

Ron immediately expressed sympathy. "That's rough, mate."

"As for Lily-as-Snape… I barely knew anything about her until the Battle, and what I learned then was a carefully constructed cover story. Does she even like me? Does she view me as a son? Is Lily's old life dead to her?"

Hermione said, "Hopefully you'll get to find out."

"Still, some truths matter to me even more than what Lily Potter thinks of me. I want to know what kind of person she is in general. I want to know her, even if it never matters. Even if it has nothing to do with me."

Hermione was incredulous. "Really?"

Ron said, "She is certainly an interesting puzzle."

Harry shook his head. The words tumbled out of his mouth — he didn't know what he was going to say: "My interest isn't abstract, nor is it entirely personal. It feel like… almost a sort of service? To the person that she was, her friend Sev, and whoever she is now."

"But once you learn those truths, you have to live with it. You could make yourself forget, but you can't actually undo ugly facts."

Ron pointed out, "However, you don't have to see her once school finishes up."

Harry was resolute. "I'm looking for the truth, even if it hurts."

After their rather heavy secret meeting, Ron went up to the Astronomy Tower to be by himself. Since it was still light outside, he was relatively sure that he would be alone.

Ron slid against a wall and gazed out at the tree-covered horizon for over an hour.

The redhead was happy that Harry seemed to find his footing as a result of their talk. Ron thought his friend had a lot on his plate, but was in a better position than ever to work his way through it all.

If he was being honest with himself, Ron was a little bored with Hogwarts this year. Wormtail had basically just skittered around doing nothing. The rat couldn't listen to any of the trio's important conversations.

Ron was also confident that Wormtail couldn't obtain blood or lure Harry off Hogwarts grounds. Well, assuming Harry didn't let himself be lured. But Ron thought that he'd successfully impressed upon his friend the importance of thwarting Wormtail this year.

Arithmancy was the only challenge — everything else aside from that and Ancient Runes was a repeat for him. Spending time with his friends and sticking by them to help see their plans for Voldemort through were absolutely worth it. But he had other aspirations, too.

As they frequently did, Ron's thoughts drifted towards what he wanted out of his life after the trio defeated Voldemort.

Ron knew that fame had its perils, particularly from seeing how much Harry struggled with it after he defeated Voldemort in their original timeline. He was invited to all sorts of events, even internationally. All sorts asked for his autograph. Wizards asked him for a "friendly" duel (which everyone knew was for bragging rights).

Ron didn't want widespread, exalted fame. He wanted to write a book that people actually read, or make a discovery that got talked about in an edition of the Daily Prophet. Maybe once a year, someone would recognize him. Oh, you're Ron Weasley, the _! I'd love to just shake your hand for _. He had lots of ideas to fill in the blanks.

The redhead knew better than to say it aloud to anyone but his closest friends. Being ambitious was for the slimy snakes and the Percy Weasleys of the world. As much as he liked Dean and Seamus, they weren't interested in high-flying.

Hermione was unashamedly ambitious, and Ron respected her immensely for that. He knew that he was better for having her in his life, pushing him to be better and inspiring him through her hard work.

And Harry may not aspire to greater fame, but he had intense courage and social grace that Ron attempted to emulate.

Bolstered by his thoughts, Ron set his mind to a new project. In talking to Hermione, he had learned about the muggle concept of encryption. He wondered if there were any spells that worked similarly. He made admirable progress over the next several weeks.

As Ron and the rest of the Gryffindor quidditch team walked back to the school after their first practice in April, he caught a glimpse of a familiar figure.

Sirius was walking quite a bit ahead of Ron. While Ron had met Sirius once in this timeline, he didn't think he could just outright ask why he was there. And Harry was no longer on the team, so he was probably all the way back at Gryffindor tower.

Ron watched Sirius walk in the front doors of the school. By the time his group made it up there, Sirius was no where to be seen.

Seeing no alternatives, Ron walked back to Gryffindor tower with the team. He borrowed the Marauder's Map off the twins and signaled to Harry that he should follow Ron up to their dorm.

Ron laid the map on his bed, and Harry entered the room shortly after.

"Look." Ron pointed at the two dots in the Defense Against the Dark Arts office.

Harry read, "Remus and Sirius. I didn't know Sirius was coming to the school today."

"Want to investigate?"

Harry nodded. "Disillusionment charms?"

"And scent-masking for Lupin." Ron looked at a calendar. "It's not near a full moon, but still."

Hermione was working on homework in the common room when they went back down to return the map. Ron gestured vaguely towards the portrait hole.

She came out with only her little charmed bag a few minutes later. They caught Hermione up in a few veiled comments as they walked to their destination.

Once there, Ron put up eavesdropping charms, which were a bit more convenient than the Extendable Ears and more powerful.

They heard Lupin say, "— seems to think you're putting Harry in danger."

Sirius said, "I'm not. We've only been doing normal sorts of stuff: movies, homework, meals."

"What if he wants to live with you so much he runs away from his aunts? The protection —."

"Petunia's been making more of an effort, and Harry told me that he'll keep giving her a chance. She really was awful to him, you know. She's sorry now, and it's easier for her to be nice without her ex-husband and son's influence. They were very uncomfortable with the magic side—."

"Which is possibly your fault!"

"Maybe. But the point is, we're working on it. He can always come to me if he has a problem, but he'll be staying with his aunt most of the time."

Ron's warning charm told him that someone was coming down the hallway. He elbowed the other two and they slipped further away. They could still hear what was being said in the office.

Lupin said, "Teenagers have all sorts of conflicts. What if he thinks to leave for good?"

"You don't know him at all, do you? He's very forgiving. Much like James, come to think of it."

"Not at all like Lily," Lupin grumbled.

Ron glanced back around the corner. Snape was probably now listening too.

Sirius challenged in a lazy yet acidic voice, "Have I convinced you? Or are you going to get Snape to put me in my place?"

"He just wants what's best for Harry, as do I." Ron wished that he could see Harry's reaction to all of this, but the trio were invisible to each other as well as everyone else.

"James and Lily's son deserves more supportive adults than just Petunia, and she has a lot on her plate. And it's not like you've stepped up, even though you see him every day at school."

"Dumble—." Remus started. Their was a pause.

"Imagine if Harry could hear us right now. Do you think he would thank you for running me off?"

There was silence for almost a minute. Then, the scuffle of feet and the shifting of furniture. Ron thought that Sirius and Remus had possibly gotten into a fight until he poked his head around the corner and saw the look of smug satisfaction on Snape's face.

A few moments later, Snape cast his own disillusionment charm.

Ron gritted his teeth. It would be a challenge to track three hidden people (Harry, Hermione, and Snape) as they attempted to follow Lupin and Sirius, who were both heading down the corridor chasing something along the ground.

Ron grabbed Hermione and Harry's hands to signal that they should wait here together. After several minutes, the trio removed their hiding charms, put up a silencing ward, and looked at the Map.

"Snape, Sirius, and Lupin are all heading for the Whomping Willow," Harry said.

Ron snapped his fingers and said, "I bet Snape conjured up a rat that looks like Pettigrew to lure them there. But why?"

Hermione said, "As some sort of prank."

At the same time, Harry said, "To teach them some kind of lesson."

Ron asked, "Do we follow? Or let them sort themselves out?"

Harry's jaw was set.

"Never mind, of course we'll follow. Let's go to Hogsmeade a different way, though." Ron groaned internally and resolved to keep watch for the real Pettigrew during the trio's ill-advised excursion.

A/Ns:Thank you to FastFrank and the other kind and thoughtful reviewers of this story so far! There will be three more chapters to finish out this school year.