Bad Day Beneath the Falls
Chapter 27 Secret Weapon
By: Major144
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Dipper and Wendy made their way to the back of the base, where they found a massive armored door with a electronic lock that looked like it needed a key. The duo were about to make their way to the door and open it, when a Tediz wearing a traffic cone on his head and carrying a mop like a staff suddenly stumbled in front of the duo.
"Halt! I...am Teddalf the Tan! And you shall not pass!" Slurred the Tediz banging his mob on the ground.
Wendy and Dipper exchanged looks then looked back at Teddalf.
"Did you you just get done playing Dungeons and Dragons?" Asked Dipper.
"I...did. I was victorious and...awesome! I did my ancestors proud!" Declared Teddalf.
"More like played Drunkards and Flagons." Said Wendy getting a chuckle from Dipper.
Wendy then turned to Teddalf and kicked him hard between the legs!
"MY PRECIOUS!" Screamed Teddalf as he fell to the ground in the fetal position.
Wendy stepped past the down Teddalf and used the card key to open the door. She then went in followed by Dipper. The duo found themselves in a large chamber with a massive circular platform. In the center of the platform there appeared to be a young creature stuck in the center of the platform. The creature stuck in the platform was female chipmunk with grey fur, blonde hair with a blue bow on her head, blue eyes wearing a red sleeved shirt with a blue pair of overalls that end in a skirt, her overalls had a pair of gold buttons on her chest and the image of a daisy stitched on the front.
"Mommy! Daddy!" Cried the little chipmunk as she tried to move herself but couldn't.
"You poor thing! What's your name and what have those Tediz done to you?" Said Wendy as she raced over to the chipmunk.
"My...name is Poppet...and the Tediz kidnapped me and locked me up! Please help I'm scared!" Said the girl.
"How do we get you out?" Asked Dipper.
"I...think there's a big switch over there." Said Poppet pointing to a pillar.
Dipper went over to the switch and flipped it. There was a loud ominous grinding sound and Poppet let out a nasty laugh as her head suddenly spun around her body and her eyes turned green.
"Do you know what your $#& $ daughter did?" Said Poppet in a sinister nasty voice.
"What the actual hell?!" Said Wendy as she jumped back.
The platform section around Poppet began to open up and a enormous being began to rise out of it. It was a gigantic Tediz with a left bionic arm with claws, a stitched tummy, mechanical spider legs, headlights, a huge hole on it's back, and appeared to have a serious face stitched on. The Tediz had Poppet on it's right arm like a puppet.
"Allow me to introduce you to the Tediz's secret weapon. Us. Poppet and Reagan. I'm the eyes and the brains and Reagan is the brawn. Now you shall be the first to be slaughtered followed by the rest of those stupid squirrels." Said Poppet as her voice returned to normal.
"We're screwed!" Said Dipper nervously holding his gun.
"Just stay calm and shoot away. This thing has to have a weak point." Said Wendy.
Reagan stomped forward as Wendy and Dipper fired at the big Tediz, but their bullets hardly seemed to affect the weapon as his arm turned into into a saw and he swung it at the duo. Wendy and Dipper screamed as they dove onto their backs to avoid getting hit, but their guns were sliced to bits.
"Our guns are toast!" Said Dipper.
Things got worse as two large mini-guns popped out of the sides of Reagan.
"This is my mini-gun. It fires 8000 rounds per second. Brass cased 8mm. With tungsten alloy head. And high explosive charge. Very. Very. Messy!" Said Poppet with a chuckle.
Both Wendy and Dipper went pale at this. They needed a big weapon or miracle to save them. Dipper remembered that his Chrome Cod had a cannon in it and though that maybe now was a good time to use it.
"Activate Crotch Cannon!" Said Dipper.
There was a clicking sound as a slot opened up on the Chrome Code and a outlandishly big cannon pocked out of it.
"Big Boner Blaster activated!" Said a computer voice.
"Why the hell is it called that?!" Asked Dipper.
"What the hell is that thing?!" Said Poppet.
Dipper tried to point the cannon, but the big thing was awkward and hard to aim, but he managed to fire it and destroy the left mini-gun.
"Here let me help you aim it." Said Wendy as she picked Dipper up and helped aim.
Another shot was fired destroying the right mini-gun. Reagan roared in rage and charged forward with his saw. Wendy thought about shooting the Tediz with the cannon, but decided to aim for something else, with her bikini. Wendy took careful aim and shot Poppet knocking her off off of Reagan's arm. Poppet laid on the ground as Reagan blindly walked about trying to get her exposing the hole on his back.
"Bingo!" Said Wendy as Dipper fired the cannon striking the hole and making Reagan thrash around and scream in pain.
Reagan recovered and put Poppet back on his arm. Two laser guns popped out of the sides of Reagan.
"Now this is very special! High energy inverted magneto laser, with a six pronged attack." Said Poppet.
The lasers fired forcing Wendy to run carrying Dipper to avoid getting hit. Dipper let out a gasp as he was pressed against Wendy's bikini and boobs. The laser eventually stopped and Dipper fired his cannon taking out the two laser cannons. Reagan tried to charge forward again with his saw and Wendy shot Poppet off his right arm knocking her to the ground. As Reagan tried to find Poppet he exposed his hole again and got blasted in it making him spark and roared in pain.
Reagan reclaimed Poppet and put her back on his arm. Two large missile launchers popped out of the side of Reagan.
"Ah! Missiles! Mark twos! Heat seekers with multiple warheads of course. I don't fancy your chances very much." Said Poppet.
Missiles began firing at the duo. Wendy quickly fired bullets from her bikini taking out a good amount of the missiles and dodged others. Dipper fired his cannon and took out the launchers. Reagan advanced again towards the duo and Wendy shot Poppet off Reagan's arm knocking her to the ground. The Tediz felt around blindly for Poppet exposing his hole again and Dipper shot him knocking the Tediz to the ground.
"Time to end this." Said Wendy as she and Dipper prepared to unload on the down Tediz, but both the bikini and Crotch Cannon were empty.
"We're out of bullets!" Yelled Dipper.
"We got one weapon left each, though we're going to have to strip!" Said Wendy.
"What?!" Asked Dipper horrified.
"Just do it!" Said Wendy as she dropped Dipper and removed her top, bottom, and coat leaving herself naked.
Dipper reluctantly removed the Chrome Cod leaving himself naked from the waist down. Reagan began to stir as Poppet urged him to get up. Wendy used her coat to tie her bikini and the Chrome Cod together before rushing towards Reagan. She shoved the items into Reagan's hole and gave a command.
"Self destruct Ballistic Bikini!"
The weapons self destructed within Reagan finally ending the Tediz once and for all!
"We did it!" Said Dipper feeling very pleased despite being naked.
"Hey doody head. Guess what: The show's not over till the little girl sings. Ooh, what's this? A little red button. I think I'll press it." Said Poppet as she had a little remote with a large red button on it.
"Oh crap!" Thought Dipper as Poppet pressed the button.
A large screen nearby lite up with a countdown clock.
"Ooh, and what is that? Lovely countdown. I wonder what's going to happen now." Said Poppet with a evil laugh.
"You're just pure evil!" Said Wendy.
"If I'm going down I'm taking you with me!" Declared Poppet.
Wendy replied by grabbing Poppet, spinning her around, and sent her smashing into a wall with a crash. Poppet fell to the ground groaning.
"Nice." Said Dipper.
"Now let's get the hell out of here." Said Wendy.
The two took off running as the countdown clock ticked down.
To be continued.