This is a slow burn fic! It didn't feel realistic to jump into something in a timeframe where this would be so taboo. However I will be giving grace to our supporting characters as I don't like an unhappy LGBTQ ending. nect chapter will heat up a little, I promise!
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The next few weeks were exactly what Francesca Kilmartin required. She spent her days by her mother's side, for once enjoying the chaos of their house because it drowned out the noise in her own head. For many years, Francesca had felt like an outsider in her home, not really belonging like the others. But with this new shared trauma between herself and her mother, she was starting to see their similarities in a way she never could before. It was unbelievable to her that it took her traveling so far away to feel more at home. Although she was finding peace, she was missing a certain travel companion who had decided to leave her space with family and was staying at a relative's place in the meantime. Francesca was staring wistfully out the window thinking of the support she had received from Michaela in the last few weeks when Violet returned to the salon.
Picking up on her daughter's contemplative posture, Violet walked over to the settee and sat down next to her. Francesca continued to stare out the window. "Forgive me my dear, but you seem awfully lost in thought. What is going on in that head of yours?". Francesca turns to her mother, "Mama, I think I would like to have Lady Stirling over for dinner as a thank you for coming with me on my travels and helping me these last few weeks. She has been a great source of comfort for me.". Violet smiled and said, "Of course, I was actually surprised we hadn't seen her very much since you have been home. I know from your letters that she had been a great friend to you over the last year. And she of course would be welcome to stay here at our home if you like. Afterall, she is only still here so that she may be of service to you during this difficult time.". Francesca smiled at her mother and gave her a hug. "I will send word to her immediately then for dinner tomorrow night. I have missed her quite a bit and it will be nice to be able to thank her. Feeling more like herself than she had in quite some time, Francesca decided to change into something that made her feel a little more beautiful. It was time she start trying to feel something again.
…
As Michaela arrived at the Bridgerton House, she couldn't help but appreciate the beauty that the brick house had to offer. It seemed to her that the house had no choice as it did contain a group of very beautiful people. She was pondering this thought as she waited to be let into the house. Expecting a maid to open the door, it shocked her when she came face to face with the very Bridgerton that had her back in London once again. Taking in the woman in front of her, her jaw almost hit the floor. She had to swallow very hard as the moisture seemed to leave her mouth. There was Francesca, in the most beautiful blue color that she had ever seen grace another human being. The pale blue highlighted her delicate features in the most astonishing way. Michaela could not think of a time that she had ever looked more beautiful. I guess being back in London had really been good for the woman.
Francesca raised her eyebrow in a way that Michaela almost would have categorized as flirtatious if it hadn't been the Bridgerton girl standing in front of her. She cleared her throat and was finally able to form words "Hello.. Thank you so much for your invitation for dinner tonight. You look.. Absolutely beautiful. Truly. I am so glad you are feeling quite better.". Francesca seemed to glow even more at these worlds, which in turn made Michaela smile. As she crossed the threshold up the house and stepped past her friend, she realized how much her body craved to be close to her friend again. She stopped mid stride and turned to give the smaller woman a strong hug. She was so happy to see her looking more like herself. She needed a proper greeting. As she started to disentangle herself she heard a warm voice coming from further within the residence "Ah Michaela, it is so lovely to have you for dinner tonight. It will be so good to further know the woman who has been by my daughter's side for the past year. I truly thank you for being such a support to her. It has made life as a worried mother a little more bearable" she said as she reached for Michaela's hand. Michaela noticed that the Vicountess's eyes had misted, and she leaned in to give the woman a hug. Clearly Violet had been deeply concerned for her young daughter and needed someone to lean on as well.
The older woman pulled back "Now now, let us focus on celebrating tonight and enjoy each other's company.". Michaela decided that this was the right opportunity to charm Violet so she said, "Well with company as lovely as you, we are sure to have a wonderful evening". Mamas have always loved Michaela. Her charm wins the hearts of those around her and she knows it. Violet giggled at the comment, and beckoned the girls further into the house before turning and wandering off to check on dinner. Michaela felt a familiar arm sling through her own and she was instantly brought back to many nights in Scotland within arm's reach of Francesca. She would be lying if she said she hadn't missed their special connection. Francesca led them to the dining room before disengaging and taking her own seat at the table. Michaela had the sudden urge to pull her back to her and.. well she wasn't quite sure what she wanted to do with her in her arms. She just knew she missed the contact. Perhaps it was the weeks of worry she had built up while trying to give her some space. But whatever it was, she certainly knew it was not the time to do such a thing in the Bridgerton family home. She may not feel their relationship was odd, but it certainly did not fit the rules of conduct of the Ton.
..
Dinner could not have been a more pleasant experience. It was so lovely to have Michaela in her presence again. Her wit and her charm always made for the most amazing conversation. Francesca was not one for heavy conversation, but there was something about the way the woman sitting across from her could turn a phrase that kept her so engaged. Their conversations could always go on for hours into the night. John would often retire to bed early during these nights claiming he had no idea what Michaela did to his wife. Francesca smiled to herself at the memory. It was nice to be able to think of John in such a positive way.
It wasn't until her mother yawned that Francesca realized what time it was. "Mama! I am so sorry I had not realized the time. It's clear we had some catching up to do. Let us retire for the night, as I myself am quite tired." she said while keeping eye contact with Michaela. Violet smiled and replied "Certainly it is fine dear, it appears I just don't have the same energy I once did. Michaela as I mentioned in your invitation, you are welcome to stay.". Francesca was eager to know if Miss Sterling would stay the night but was disappointed when she heard from across the table, "Thank you so much for your hospitality and invitation, but I am afraid I cannot stay tonight, as I do have some business to attend to in the morning. It is best I take my leave now.". Francesca lowered her gaze for a moment while she his her disappointment with the news, but quickly composer herself and smiled. "Well, again Michaela thank you so much for coming tonight and for travelling home with me. You have done far more for me than expected. Let me show you to the door.". Francesca thought she saw a flicker of confusion cross her friend's face but it was gone as soon as it had appeared. As they reached the door to leave, Francesca found herself wrapped in one of the hugs she had been craving since they saw eachother last. As always, it seemed to linger just a moment longer than hugs do with most others. Her mother's voice seem to break the trance when she cut in, "Michaela, will we be seeing you at the first ball of the season? It always is such an entertaining night.". The woman in question stepped back and replied "If it means another night in your company Lady Bridgerton, I would be a fool not to show up.". She directed a small wink in the Viscountess's direction. Then she placed her hands on Francesca's arms and said, "it's truly so nice to see you doing so well. I shall see you at the ball.". And with that, Miss Sterling left their home.
Francesca stared at the door for a moment longer before turning to move back into the house. She stopped in her tracks as she realized that her mother was watching her rather closely. "Is there something you should like to ask, Mama?" Francesca questioned. She saw that knowing glint in her eye that always meant she knew more than she was letting on. However Francesca hadn't the faintest idea of what it is her mother might know. Violet chucked slightly before saying "I think you were right when you said Scotland would be good for you. Indeed I think you are more yourself than I have ever seen you. I take it that Michaela became your closest confidant when you were away?". Francesca felt heat rise to her face at being so seen my her mother. She hesitated slightly before replying "Scotland gave me the quiet I needed to hear myself. I feel Michaela gave me the space to be heard.".
The older Bridgerton moved slowly towards Francesca and held her hands gently. "My dear, you have been through so much in your short life. I feel when your father died, where your brothers and sisters learned to access their emotions, you seemed to shy away instead. And I must say it makes me very happy to know that you finally found in someone a security to feel capable of opening up to them.". Francesca never liked feeling seen (other than when she was seen by the woman who had just left). She kept her gaze averted so as not to give any more away. Violet squeezed her hands and waited until Francesca could no longer avoid contact. As her eyes raised to those of her mother, she said "I hope you know that all I have ever wanted for you was to find a true match. One that could see into the depths of the woman that you are and bring the true you to the surface. Yes, a person like that is rare indeed.". And with a knowing glance, her mother stepped away and walked down the hallway. "Good night" she heard faintly once the matriarch had disappeared from view.
Well what could that have possibly meant? Francesca used to always get so frustrated by her mother's vague insights. Could no one in this family be straight forward? That was a quality of both John and his cousin that she was so grateful for. Direct conversation. Francesca always knew that her mother had not felt as if John had been her true match. So what was she implying? Had she changed her mind about John's influence? Did she somehow feel Michaela's friendship was a match? Certainly Michaela brought out a side of her that no one else could. Whether it was her stubbornness in debate or a vulnerability in weaker moments, she certainly felt more when in her presence.
Francesca remembered the conversation she had had with her mother the night before she left for Scotland. She had always wondered what her mother had meant by feeling drawn to another. By your very essence being altered while in their presence. Francesca's heart stopped. All this time, she had felt as if it was not in her make up to be drawn to another in the way her mother had described. But if she thought back to the moments of her life that made her feel the most uncomfortable, the most noticed, the most intense feelings, they all led back to a certain female presence in her life. Yes, Michaela Sterling may be her true love match. But was that even possible?
