Arizona exchanged numbers with Callie two weeks into their tentative friendship. Situationship. Whatever it was.

The entire thing felt so provisional and fragile at first, like if either said the wrong thing it would topple the house of cards they had built together. Every word, every touch, felt like a gamble, a carefully calculated risk. They both overthought everything—will this scare her away? Will this make her laugh? How do friends act? What the fuck is happening?

It made for a series of awkward encounters that might have been funny if they happened to literally anyone else.

The first time Arizona chanced to sit at Callie's lunch table, Teddy was in surgery and Alex had the day off. So she had slid into a seat across from Addison, next to Cristina, diagonal from Callie, and had smiled pleasantly and sipped her pink lemonade as if nothing was out of the ordinary. "Hi guys."

The conversation died immediately, her mere presence tempering the familiar banter of the group. The table exchanged uneasy looks with each other, waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for Arizona to snap something hateful at Callie, waiting for the bickering to start. The strained silence made Arizona shift uncomfortably, growing embarrassed and a little defensive. "God, what? Were you saving this seat or something?"

"No!" Callie jumped in quickly, trying to smile reassuringly at her, but she herself looked a little apprehensive. "You're more than welcome to, um, to sit with us. Anytime. More than welcome. Right guys?"

Cristina shrugged, indifferent. Addison and Mark started laughing in amusement until simultaneously coming to a sudden stop. Arizona strongly suspected Callie had kicked them under the table to shut them up.

Being friends took a surprising amount of practice. They slipped up sometimes, falling into old habits consisting of eye rolls and arguments about nothing, but they were both genuinely trying. They were getting better at it and, over the course of two weeks, eating the occasional lunch at Callie's table was becoming considerably less painful. And Callie really wasn't all that bad when she wasn't annoying the shit out of her.

Despite the tension, the nervous energy that bounced between them like a loaded spring, their sex life had only gotten better. It was a relief to Arizona—part of her had been worried that all of the resentment and anger had been the only thing keeping the chemistry so palpable between them. And sue her, she really didn't want to lose out on that. The sex was so good she probably would've been willing to pick fights just for the sake of a quick, angry fuck in an on-call room.

Fighting wasn't necessary though. Thank God. The day they exchanged numbers, Arizona had her back pressed against a shelf in an overcrowded supply closet, cardboard boxes digging painfully into her spine. Callie was on her knees in front of her, one arm wrapped around her body to keep her upright, the other between Arizona's thighs along with her mouth.

Arizona's legs were still shaking when Callie pulled out of her, a self-satisfied smirk adorning that stunning face. She ghosted a kiss over a pale inner thigh, then hooked her fingers into Arizona's underwear and scrubs, pulling them back up her legs as she stood. She re-tied Arizona's scrubs for her as she recovered, her head resting on the box behind her as she struggled through shaky, labored breaths, watching Callie in a daze as her vision unblurred.

"Good?" Callie taunted gently, tightening the double knot.

"Fucking incredible," Arizona laughed breathlessly, arching up to kiss her briefly. When she pulled back, Callie ran her hands through her blonde hair, smoothing it back down, combing through the stray knots, helping put her back together before they returned to work.

"Can I have your number?" She asked almost absentmindedly, so concentrated on fixing Arizona's hair that she barely registered she had said anything at all.

Arizona was so surprised that she laughed. "What?"

"Friends text," she shrugged.

"I don't know."

"And friends with benefits sext."

A giggle spilled past her lips and she rolled her eyes, digging into her back pocket for her phone. "Fine. You should lead with that next time." She handed her phone over, watching as Callie tapped in her number.

She had to resist rolling her eyes again at the contact name Callie chose for herself. Florida. But she was smiling a bit, despite herself. "I'll actually be expecting that sext later, you know. No take backs."

"Hmm. We'll have to see how nice you are to me today," Callie laughed under her breath, checking the time on her own phone. "Shit, I gotta go. Consult in 5." She moved for the door, but Arizona's hand grabbing her waist stopped her. When she turned back to look at her, the blonde had an odd expression on her face, a weird mix between a disappointed pout and something else, something almost…shy.

"Um, we didn't… you didn't tell me your one thing yet."

A blush colored in her cheeks at the way Callie's brow raised. "I thought you thought that was stupid?"

"I did. I do," she cleared her throat, fidgeting with the hem of her scrub top to keep her hands busy. "But rules are rules."

Callie bit back her smile because she knew Arizona would hate if she smiled about this. "Okay. Hmm," she thought for a second, biting her lip the tiniest bit. "I like art. Painting, drawing, even pottery is super fun to me. I won this dumb contest as a kid for a sidewalk chalk mural, and my parents thought I was gonna be a prodigy." She laughed a little. "Then I started to draw on my jeans with sharpies in high school, and they didn't love that as much."

"Oh my god. You were that kid?" Arizona giggled and poked her in the ribs. "I'll be making fun of you for that forever now, just so you know."

"God, please don't. I was teased plenty enough about it in school, trust me."

"Fine. I'll save it for when you're being really mean. But I think the art thing is… it's cool. You'll have to paint for me sometime."

"I can do that," Callie smiled down at her. "Okay, your turn. Be quick."

"I was almost arrested once."

"What?"

"Yep. Placed in handcuffs in the back of a cop car and everything."

"Okay, it's just cruel to drop a bomb like that right when I have to go."

Arizona giggled. "It wasn't anything. They were just trying to scare me. Which worked, by the way. I was crying my eyes out."

"What did you do?"

"I was 14. My older brother, Tim, he was just under 18. We had just moved to a new town, this tiny hole in the middle of nowhere Texas. We didn't know anyone and there was nothing to do and we were bored. So we snuck into a bar."

"At fourteen?" Callie didn't point out that this was the most Arizona had ever talked about her brother, about her family in general.

"I just wanted to play pool. Honest."

"You little rebel," Callie laughed incredulously, then frowned when she checked the time again, a sigh falling out of her. "God, I really have to go. But I wanna hear more of this story later."

"Rain check?"

"Rain check. I'll text you later, criminal."

"I'll text you back, Sharpies."

Callie texted her later that same night.

Arizona was nursing a glass of wine and attempting to cook herself dinner—a glazed salmon and asparagus recipe that an online blog had claimed was quick and easy, but she was burning everything and kept knocking over bowls and almost gagged while handling the raw fish. She was about to give in and order herself Pad Thai when she felt her pocket vibrate.

She hated the way her heart arrested for a split second, the unbridled energy that coursed through her blood until it warmed her cheeks, the unfamiliar fluttering in the pit of her stomach. How ironic that she felt the most alive when her heart was skipping a beat.

Her eyes flickered over the message from Florida, short and sweet.

Whatcha doing?

She typed her reply quickly.

Drinking wine and burning salmon. Probably about to order takeout. You?

lol, you weren't kidding about being a bad cook. Do I need to teach you? I'm watching Real Housewives

Maybe…I don't know what that is. Sounds trashy.

It is. I love it :) any chance you're free in the morning?

Arizona stared at the text, biting back a smile. Her reply came slower, fingers hovering over the letters on her keyboard as she considered for far too long what to say.

Depends who's asking.

I know a girl in search of the best coffee in Seattle. I heard you know a thing or two about that. Wanna help her out?

Is she hot?

I don't think you'll have any complaints. 8 AM okay?

Arizona laughed under her breath and sent the address to her favorite coffee shop, the same one she had tried to surprise her with the morning after they met. Then added, I'll see you then. FYI it's supposed to rain in the morning—bring your umbrella. I know you don't check the forecast.

…right

Callie. Bring your umbrella.

Definitely will…

You don't have an umbrella do you?

I'm a busy woman, ok?

An insufferable woman is what you are.

You suffer me just fine.

Arizona blushed at her own words being thrown back at her, a tiny grin twisting its way onto her mouth, just enough to make a single dimple appear.

God, I do not like a single thing about you.

Tell me more ;)

This isn't sexting.

It's better than sexting

Goodnight, Calliope. See you in the morning.

Callie was soaking wet when she joined Arizona inside the coffee shop the next morning. Her hair was drenched, mascara smudged, and Arizona looked up at her with the biggest I-told-you-so grin on earth.

"Don't say it," Callie growled between gritted teeth, shrugging off her jacket and draping it over the back of her chair. She pulled her hair back into a messy ponytail, tying it with an elastic on her wrist, a few tendrils falling loose and framing her face.

"Say what?" Arizona asked innocently, sipping the hot coffee in her hands.

"I told you so. That you were right. Whatever annoying thought is in your head right now."

Arizona laughed, delighted with the situation. "Come on, I deserve to gloat a little bit. You look hilarious."

"Do not."

"Do too. You're not the one having to look at you right now."

"You're so annoying."

"Be nice to me. I got you something." She reached beneath her chair and pulled a red umbrella from beneath it, tags still attached, and handed it over. "No excuses anymore."

Callie's face melted into a warm grin. She held it in her hands, fingers trailing over the pretty shade of red, her favorite color. "Thank you. This is… really nice, actually."

Arizona waved her off. "It was $10 from Walgreens and I was tired of sharing mine."

"Well, still. Thank you."

"Whatever. Don't make it weird. Go order your coffee and prepare to have your life changed."

They sat together in an on call room a week later, fully clothed for once. Arizona had her back against the wall, knees pulled up to her chest, a to-go cup of her favorite coffee in her hand that Callie had brought her.

Callie was beside her on the bed, sitting with her legs criss crossed and facing her as they talked through a case Arizona was struggling with. It was a far cry from the yelling matches they had over patients only a few months ago.

They respected each other enough now as surgeons, as people, to come to each other for advice. It kind of freaked Arizona out if she thought too hard about it.

If she was being honest with herself, which she rarely was, she was nearly pathologically afraid of abandonment. She had strategically only ever placed herself in situations that were incapable of giving her what she needed. It ensured she was never at risk of any substantial loss. The urge to run away from anything she could ever potentially love was a sort of masochism she no longer pretended to understand.

She didn't understand it, but it was there. And Callie was there now too, giving her what she needed. Advice and companionship and a sort of tenderness she hadn't let close to her in a very, very long time.

Maybe this was just what friends did for each other. Arizona wasn't sure. She had never been great at making friends—she moved too frequently growing up to ever let anyone close enough to really know her. She had stopped trying by 5th grade, having learned young that goodbyes were a lot easier when she let herself only be half-known.

Tim had been her only real best friend, the only constant in her life. He had been the only person to ever know her fully. And then he died and the void left inside of her had been crippling and she never wanted to be known that completely again.

People were so impermanent and it terrified her. She was fine with being half-known.

"Where did you go?" Callie's voice broke Arizona out of her ruminations.

"Hm?"

"You zoned out on me," Callie laughed.

"Oh," Arizona rolled her tense shoulders back, trying to relax the stubborn muscles there. "Sorry. I was thinking about how I'm gonna kick your ass at pool at Joe's later."

That brought a smile to Callie's face, and Arizona was thrilled. She had found a new game to play over the past few weeks, a competition with herself. How many times could she make Callie smile in a minute? In an hour? Could she set a record? Could she top it?

She had always loved winning, and that smile was a better prize than any trophy, any medal, any award.

"You're insane. Like, actually the most competitive person I've ever met, I think. It's obnoxious."

"You would be too if you won at everything."

"Everything?"

"Mhm. I'm that good."

"What about a staring contest?"

"Easy," Arizona grinned.

Callie just smirked, leaning in until their noses almost touched. "Prove it. Go."

They both held their eyes open, staring at each other in challenge. Callie narrowed hers just slightly, amused, and slid a hand up Arizona's thigh without breaking eye contact.

"Callie," Arizona warned, her breath hitching a bit, but she kept her eyes open stubbornly. They were starting to sting, but she wouldn't crack first.

"What?" She asked innocently.

"You're cheating," Arizona whined, and her eyes snapped shut involuntarily when Callie finally touched her over her scrubs. She felt her hips roll forward, body betraying mind as a breathy moan left her.

Callie laughed in triumph as she crawled on top of her, pressing her into the mattress. "And winning."

Arizona hated staff meetings. She found them hopelessly boring, dull in a way that made it nearly physically painful for her to sit still through them.

Sitting next to Callie made them a little easier to tolerate though. She was using Callie's leg under the table as leverage to swivel herself back and forth in her conference chair, just enough to keep herself stimulated but not enough to distract the rest of her coworkers. They were discretely playing games of tic-tac-toe in the margins of one of Callie's papers, only half listening to whatever Webber was droning on about.

Arizona drew an X. Callie drew an O to block her. Arizona scrunched her nose. She drew another X. Callie blocked her again.

The sound of their names drew them both out of their game, only catching the tail end of the chief's sentence.

"…to congratulate Dr. Robbins and Dr. Torres for making it 30 entire days without yelling in the hallways. Great work, ladies. Keep it up."

The entire staff laughed and Arizona ducked her head, finding the joke a little mortifying. Harmless, but embarrassing nevertheless. She hated that she had visibly lost control of herself so many times, hated even more that she was reprimanded for it. It was nearly intolerable that everyone seemed to just know. It left her feeling exposed and vulnerable in a way she wasn't used to. Callie appeared to take the comment in stride, laughing along with their friends and colleagues.

Arizona dipped in silence as soon as the meeting wrapped up, not bothering with pleasantries, looking forward to burying herself in surgeries to keep distracted. She was halfway down the hall before Callie caught up to her, her voice bright and affable in the way Arizona had slowly grown used to. "Hey! You free for lunch today?"

"Not today," she shook her head, forcing herself to smile, and she could tell Callie could see right through her.

"Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be? I'm just busy."

"Oh," Callie tilted her head a little. Concern danced in her deep brown eyes and it kind of made Arizona feel like she was suffocating. "Are you sure? I'm here if you need—"

"God, stop hovering. I'm sure," she snapped. She didn't understand why she was being mean, why she was pushing her away all of a sudden, but it felt like she was on autopilot and operating purely out of self-preservation.

"Okay. I'm sorry. I just wanted to check on—"

"We're friends, Callie. Barely. We don't have to spend every fucking second together." It came out a lot harsher than she meant for it to and she regretted it immediately, regretted it as soon as she saw the way Callie reared back a little and seemed to shut down.

"Got it. I'll leave you alone."

Arizona watched as Callie left in the opposite direction. She didn't storm off, or sulk, just left her standing there as she sauntered off, poised and effortless in a way that Arizona envied. She swallowed the guilt in her throat and headed towards the OR.

She spent the next 10 hours in back to back surgeries with no break for food or water or even the bathroom. She lost one kid on the table, a 12-year-old boy that had been hit by a car while he was out riding his bike. She had tried everything to bring him back, hadn't stopped until Alex was pulling her off of his lifeless body, and she could feel the ache of the loss settling deep in her bones as soon as she called time of death through a strangled throat.

She already knew she would have nightmares that night. She already knew she would see his face for the rest of her life.

She was physically and emotionally spent when she made it to the locker room. It was just past 5 and she couldn't wait to go home and shower and try to sleep. She pulled her scrub shirt off, leaving her in a black tank top, and sat on a bench as she checked her phone.

She had two missed calls and one voicemail from her mom. She set her phone on the bench beside her, switching it to speaker, and pressed play as she began to massage the impossibly tight muscles on the back of her neck. The sound of her mom's kind, loving voice almost soothed her until she processed her words.

"Hi honey! This is your mother. I'm sure you're in surgery. Just wanted you to know that your father and I are on our way to see you! Please don't be mad. We just miss you so much. We're at the airport now, sweetie. Our flight lands at 7:30. Can't wait to see you and can't wait to finally meet this special girl you love so much. Okay, our flight is boarding now. Love you so much, baby, see you around 8!"

Arizona almost laughed. Almost. Because this day seriously could not get any fucking worse. She was about to be caught in the most pathetic, humiliating lie she had ever told. She was about to have to look her father in the eyes as she confessed, see the disappointment there, see another reminder that she would never be half as honorable as Tim.

There was a lump in her throat and tears in her eyes before she could even understand that she was about to cry. She hid her face in her hands, the stress of the day boiling over as hot tracks of tears marring her cheeks. She heard the soft call of her name and fuck, apparently this day could get worse, because now Callie was here and watching her cry and humiliated was an understatement.

"Arizona," Callie repeated her name and sat beside her. She left a respectful amount of space between them but reached out to touch her shoulder, pressing soft circles into the tense muscles there. "Look at me."

When Arizona ignored her, Callie pulled gently at her wrists until her face was forced out of hiding. She ducked her head until their eyes met. Her voice was so gentle and so caring and Arizona hated how much it comforted her. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"It's embarrassing," she sniffled.

Callie pretended to look around the empty locker room. "Coast is clear. I don't see anyone here that will judge you."

"It is so, so embarrassing."

"I won't judge you," Callie promised. She reached forward, wiping tears off of her cheeks with her thumbs.

"You don't have to do this. I was mean to you earlier."

"So what? Friends get pissy sometimes. But they're still there when they need each other, and you really look like you need me right now."

"I do, I think."

"So tell me what's going on. Tell me how I can help." She smiled softly and pulled her hands back, watching Arizona with nothing but patience.

Arizona inhaled. Then exhaled. She chewed on the inside of her cheek and fidgeted uncomfortably and finally broke. "Do you remember when I told you I have authority issues? Marine dad and all that?"

Callie nodded.

"Well, marine dad and angel mom decided to show up tonight for a visit, no warning. They'll be here in a few hours and I kind of… I lied about something to them and I'm about to be caught in it and I'm…"

"Scared?"

"Yeah. And embarrassed. Ashamed."

"What did you lie about?"

Arizona swallowed. She finally looked away, staring down at her hands in her lap. "I just—I wanted to get them off my back. They mean well, but they're always on me about settling down and having babies and I'm just not the relationship type. I was tired of them being worried about me."

When she finally chanced a look at Callie, she saw a flash of recognition in those warm eyes, like she was finally piecing together the bits of conversation she had overheard Arizona having on the phone with her parents. She was expecting the laugh to come next, maybe a cruel joke or two at her expense.

To her surprise, Callie's head just leaned to the side, not an ounce of judgment present. "What do they know about her?"

"What? Nothing. I've always kept it vague. I'm not that good at lying."

Callie nodded her head slowly, brows furrowing a bit as she considered something. "How long have we been together then?"

Arizona laughed dryly and rubbed her eyes. "No. I'm not asking you to do that."

"You didn't. I'm offering," she shrugged casually. "I'm offering to help my friend because that's what friends do for each other. How long?"

She swallowed. "I don't remember anymore. 5, almost 6 months I think."

"Okay." Callie nodded her head. "Does everyone like chicken piccata? I make an excellent chicken piccata." She rose to her feet and held her hand out for Arizona, who just looked up at her like she was absolutely insane.

"You don't have to cook."

"You're a bad cook. I don't wanna eat your food."

Arizona finally cracked a small smile. She took Callie's hand and let her pull her to her feet. "You've never had my cooking. How can you call it bad?"

"You sent me a picture of asparagus you made once. That was enough for me. No thank you."

"Fair. It was pretty inedible," she laughed under her breath, moving on autopilot as she collected her things and they started to walk together.

"We can stop by the grocery store on our way. I'll run in and get the ingredients, maybe some wine. It shouldn't take me more than 10 minutes." Her eyes fixated on Arizona as they walked through the parking lot. She watched the way the wind blew her hair, the way she hugged her arms into herself. Her eyes looked bluer from crying. "Pretty crazy that we've made it 30 days, huh? Happy friendiversary."

Arizona's eyes rolled and she smiled to herself. "Thank you for, um, for doing this. You really don't have to. You're a good friend. A really good friend." An awkward nod. "And about earlier…" She cleared her throat and Callie wondered if this girl had ever been able to say I'm sorry in her life. She almost wanted to help her through it, like if she pressed her fingers to that hollow dip at the base of Arizona's throat, she could soothe the tightness there. "I'm…sorry, and I'll try to be a better friend."

Callie just laughed, shaking her head, and slid into the passenger seat of Arizona's car. "You're fine. I think you're a fine friend."

Arizona buckled her seatbelt and jingled her keys in her hand, watching Callie with a hesitant expression. "Are you sure this won't be weird?"

"I'm sure. It's just one little dinner. How bad can it be?"

A/N: thank you so much for reading! hope you enjoyed this chapter. :)