The Archwizard Aims To Be The Most Popular Side-Waifu Character! 5 (Konosuba, Arue SI)

"Haa! Lightning Storm! Did you see Megumin?! If you keep running around like that you won't catch up to my- eh!? Why are you running at me!"

I slurped some hot soup from my self-made tumbler as I watched Megumin's provoked mob of monsters running after both my friends, now that Megumin had lured them to attack Yunyun as well.

Darkness was shivering on the spot next to me, breathing erratically, she started talking about how she wanted to be the one being chased by monsters then pushed onto the ground among other things. Well, I guess a small imagination spot for bestiality should be expected from her, especially when we have Dire Wolves here.

They're like wolves, but dire.

"Explosion!"

Ah, Megumin had gone ahead and antagonized every dire wolf there, then used Yunyun to buy time so that she can blow them up together.

It was really a wonderful explosion. My inner pyromaniac was immensely satisfied.

"As expected, Megumin can really only rely on underhanded strategies in a competition with proper mages. Ah, if only she would take the time to learn some other magic instead, then she would be even more amazing..." Kazuma sarcastically praised his party member's performance, seemingly more impressed with Yunyun's display of Advanced Magic more than Megumin's.

It would probably take a couple more months until he got used to Megumin enough to the point where he wouldn't want any other mage. But right now, he was having his eyes open to the 'real' talents of this world, like Yunyun.

"Oi, party member of mine who has the weakest job class, how about you come here and carry me instead of hiding behind my clansmen after being frightened by the size and fierceness of those wolves?" Megumin was giving as good as she got even as she was sliding down a slope on the hill, with her face against the ground.

For the record, Kazuma was actually standing behind me this whole time, especially after I saved him from one of the wolves and ripped its throat out.

"Megumiiiin!" Yunyun quickly rushed to catch her friend and plopped Megumin onto her back.

"Ah! Are they done? That means we can go home and collect our pay right?" Aqua looked away from her little work of art that she made to pass the time using a collection of flowers, leaves and tree branches she plucked from here and there.

"What pay? You didn't even do any work…" Kazuma quickly retorted, then with a smirk added, "You goddess impersonator."

"Haaaaah!? What did you call me Kazuma!? I can't believe you went there after seeing what a powerful Archpriest I am!"

"Oi oi, didn't you hear what Arue said? The closer a believer behaves like the goddess they worship then the more powerful they are. Your delusions of godhood are even deeper than Megumin's chuuni delusions."

I did make mention of that when I explained why I called Aqua an impersonator during our journey here. Thank goodness I recalled how the worship and praise system works on this world. All those hours revising "basic" knowledge of this world really paid off.

"Hey, Kazuma, I know you're trying to reach out to Aqua but you could have left out your disbelief over my sealed powers-"

"Hush now Megumin. The eye-patch Arue gave you doesn't do anything. The one she's wearing right now on the other hand actually does kinda seal her powers but… h-hey, where are you touching Megumin!"

Megumin was struggling and harassing Yunyun a little. Normally I would be bothered by this, but since this is a Yuri-Yuri moment I decided to let it slide.

Aqua and Kazuma argued for a bit, with the former throwing out the fact that Kazuma did literally nothing as well. Darkness tried to interject by reminding them it was a competition between Megumin and Yunyun, but Kazuma shouted at her and she was immensely pleased by it.

"Not that this isn't entertaining but it's time to decide the winner. Hand over your Adventurer Cards."

It was time to check their kill counts.

Yunyun laid Megumin on the ground and passed me her card.

"Megumin?"

"Arue, as you can see, after unleashing my powerful Explosion that uses so much mana that only a genius arch-wizard like me can muster- hey, what are you writing?"

I had taken out my notepad and had started writing whatever Megumin said. As per Konosuba tradition, anything that a character says can and will be used against them in the future.

"Just noting down your excuses for not investing any points in reduced mana consumption."

"I am Megumin! The one who will master Explosion magic! I don't need to cast many lesser Explosions but one spectacular w-wh-whaaa don't actually write that down! Arueeeeeee!"

"Oh fine fine… I'll just go grab your card now."

And more importantly, it was my chance to ruffle through Megumin's dress for it and 'accidentally' feel her prone body up.

"Wait, as the leader of my party, I will happily do my part in facilitating the collection of this competition's results."

Kazuma also crouched down and moved his hands closer to Megumin.

As a (former) guy, I have nothing but praise for having the same idea as myself.

But too bad! I was a girl now and I could now play the 'Kyaa! Hentai!' card.

"Oh ho? You may sound helpful but your courageous attempt to molest my young adorable friend while 'helping' is as clear as day to me."

"Oya oya? Is the fake onee-san who makes all sorts of subtle comments on bathing together with the cutie Arch-Wizard over there all the time accusing me of being a lolicon?"

Somewhere to the side Yunyun was getting all flustered about being called cute.

"Surely you don't think that level of 'Whataboutism' changes the fact that you are a horny male teenager only deciding to be helpful when you think it gets you the chance to feel up a girl?"

Just as I was about to win our verbal battle Aqua had decided to become (unhelpfully) helpful.

"Ah, got it. It fell out of Megumin's bag!"

Turns out that Megumin's adventurer's card fell out of her supply bag during all the running. I, of course, noticed this… but I was still going to have my go with Megumin before I 'found out' the card was missing.

"Tch!" Kazuma 'tsked' and effectively lost the battle first while I could still play the innocent here.

"You scum! You really were going to touch my body inappropriately." Megumin lifted her head up slightly and stared at Kazuma.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Kazuma denied that.

"Kazuma, as a Crusader, I-" Darkness was about to say something.

"If you wanted to volunteer your body then you should have done it earlier!" Already knowing what she was going to say, Kazuma cut her off and completely forgot his original plan to deny his sexual harassment.

"You immediately gave up hiding your intentions!" Megumin was probably going to get her revenge on another day.

Heh, while my plans are foiled, at the very least I got out of this one without being found out.

Taking the card from Aqua, I took out a sandwich from my bag for her as a gift. She started munching on my homemade meal like a cute hamster.

I was quite confident in my cooking skills, especially since the tradeoff for Arue's canon levels of magic power seems to be an excess of skill points, and a lot of hidden skill points allocated to civilian skills. While it wasn't on my Adventurers Card at all, some of my day-to-day activities were completely to supernaturally good levels, so I maintain that my theory has some merit…

"It's a tie." I announced.

"EH!? Well, that's progress at least." Yunyun was quite positive on the result.

"What?! That's impossible! My Explosion blew those monsters apart!" Megumin couldn't seem to conceive of the idea of not having a full victory against Yunyun.

"You do realize that Yunyun has been killing wolf after wolf in the time it took for you to gather them all up? Also, with the terms on how we would split the pay… since the wolf corpses you blew up are worth less that means Yunyun will be walking away with more money."

Megumin looked mortified at the result.

Her party members, deciding to be nice once in a while (except for Darkness, who is generally nice), started to tell Megumin that they were satisfied with the result since this high-paying quest was one usually way above their level anyways.

"Hehe, it looks like my training has paid off!" Yunyun said triumphantly.

Yunyun says that but… she's not exactly training, not like me at least.

"You sure seemed satisfied with only edging out a draw." Megumin shot back.

"Is that something a girl that has to exhaust her mana and end up defenseless just to do anything useful should say?" Kazuma, who has yet to know the importance of one-shotting an overwhelming foe, continued to unknowingly jab at Megumin's insecurities.

"Regardless of Megumin's state-" "Hey…" "According to the terms of our monster hunt competition, the final result is a draw. As such, there will be no exchanges of the agreed upon prizes." I continued on and ignored Megumin.

"… Don't think you've won with just this." Megumin said to Yunyun.

"… I never declared I've won right? This is just a personal victory. Just you wait Megumin, a little bit more and I will settle this!" Yunyun replied in a hot-blooded manner.

It's times like these when they're at their most stubborn and competitive, despite being almost complete opposites to each other, that I can't help but let out a wry smile.

I may just be a troublesome otherworld meddler but… If anything else, I would do everything in my power to make sure these two can shine their brightest.

My ring containing various Thief skills, including the [Detect Enemy] skill I maintain at a low level constantly, pinged just then.

"Hmm, it looks like we have an enemy incoming."

It was a yellow slime. Ah, it's that one.

"Eh, it's just a slime." Kazuma sounded disappointed while he had no right to be.

"Kazuma, don't be an idiot! Unlike traditional games, slime have high magical resistance and are entirely immune to physical attacks. They're one of the most dangerous monsters of this world!"

Aqua quickly decided to become useful!

"You… Why is it that now of all times you have to say something useful? If you want to change your job to Aquapedia I wouldn't really mind you know?"

Kazuma was on the same wavelength as I was.

Darkness, the person I expected to be very knowledgeable on slimes, came through for me and saved me some breath by providing some exposition on the slime.

"Oh! That is the famous Paralyze Slimes! It's a dangerous monster that paralyzes its prey before taking its time to digest it with its acidic body! Ordinary people would be dissolved along with their equipment, but if I were to be caught, my clothes and armor would go first! But don't worry, Kazuma, I won't give in to such humiliation…"

"Inferno!"

And then Yunyun destroyed it with a sea of flames.

I used my magic ring containing the spell of [Control Weather] to create a localized downpour to prevent a forest fire. Yunyun at least had enough self-awareness to admit her slight slip by thoughtlessly going for their weakest element and disregarding the area of effect.

Meanwhile, Darkness was cradling the remains of the slime while crying.

She looked really sad, and while I do think she would enjoy being bullied, I honestly couldn't muster enough willpower to look at her in disgust and ignore that crying face.

I pat her on the back and said, "It's fine. I will offer you a discount on my 'Instant Tentacles' powder, you'll only need to add some water."

Let it not be said that my merchant skills were insufficient to take advantage of the opportunity in front of me.

"I'll take your entire stock!"