Kaiju: No 8

The Apology

I recently discovered Kaiju: No 8 and I've been enjoying it. Just hate that Episode 10 ended on a cliffhanger and now have to wait almost a week for the next episode. But I've enjoying videos on the manga and came across one about Kafka and Mina having a conversation on a roof top before a major battle. And while watching the video, I had an idea for a small story.

Enjoy!

The view of the city brought a sense of peace to Kafka as he sat on the bench, with his lunch by his side and untouched. But he was unable to enjoy that moment of peace, nor could he eat the delicious meal. All because of the woman who was sitting on the opposite bench next to him. His childhood best friend and Captain of the Third Division, Mina Ashiro.

What they were now? He couldn't say. It had been years since they had last spoke, let alone saw each other each other before he finally managed to join the Anto-Kaiju Defense Force. If he was correct, it must have been close to 8 years. Or longer. He couldn't remember for sure. In fact, he pandered who it was that stopped communicating first. Was it him? Maybe. He was bad at calling others back when he feared the worst.

Or it could have been her. After failing so many times, so much so that he had lost count, must have made him a laughingstock in her eyes. He could imagine the embarrassment she must have felt in knowing how much of a failure he was. He certainly felt it. Especially when she climbed the ladder as fast as she did, leaving him behind completely.

He turned to look at her.

With the sun shining down upon her, he felt his heart stop at the sight of her. Her long dark hair moved with the wind, even though it was in a ponytail. Her flawless skin and athletic body that put even models to shame. She certainly was beautiful and still so young.

Unlike himself.

Despite being bulky, he was slightly overweight, over thirty, and had nothing to show for his handsomeness. Even in his youth he wasn't the good-looking type to attract that many girls. Maybe with a six-pack, he could have. But in the end, he was nothing special.

It took a weird type of Kaiju to make him even barely make it into the Defense Force. Or at least that's what he believed was the reason. Why else would they have let him in? He knew that Mina had nothing to do with it. He knew her well enough to know that she either was against his approval or only went along with it if he proved himself enough. But their past friendship certainly couldn't have made the difference. That much he was sure of.

Deep down, he knew that his journey to be by her side was more along the lines of being a suicide mission. Even if he managed to make it, it would only be because of the Kaiju inside him. Not himself. He was Kafka Hibino, while the Kaiju part of him was Kaiju No 8. Or Monster No 8. Whichever one someone decided to go with, it was still not exactly him.

His heart sunk as the realization dawned on him how much of a loser and failure he was. Every success and achievement were only because of the monster side of him, not his human side. He couldn't see someone like Mina falling for someone like him. Though he tried to deny his true feelings, he just couldn't anymore. He had feelings for Mina. True love? Well, maybe not exactly that, but romantic to be sure.

Kafka didn't entirely know or understand women, but he knew enough to know what attracted them. And he was definitely not it. Don't need to be genius to know that. He even remembered an old lesson that an old friend once taught him: "Women date up, not down."

And he was WAY down.

Being her childhood friend only made things more complicated. It was pretty much as far into the friendzone as one could get, with no hope of getting out. But at the same time, he was at peace with that knowledge. It still hurt to know the truth, as there was no getting around that sort of pain. But if being her friend again meant finding some happiness and closure for them both, he was okay with that.

After all, he had a promise to keep.

Promise.

He paused as the word roamed around his mind. It brought him back to the memory of the two making the promise to fight alongside each other. A promise that he had failed to keep, despite all he had tried to do.

No.

He didn't just fail. He gave up on fulfilling that promise. He gave up on her.

His heart sunk lower as he felt the tears start to rise behind his eyes. Shame and guilt filled his heart, with his mind imagining what it must have been like for her to endure without him for so many years. Even if she succeeded without him, which was another thing that hurt as well, she did so without him fulfilling the promise he had made to her.

Blinking, he struggled to hold the tears back as he looked back towards the city. Not wishing for her to see him in such a state. He wasn't going to let her be burdened with his emotional issues, not when the division and the city itself was resting on her shoulders.

He returned to those thoughts of his failure and her managing to go on without him. He couldn't help but wonder if she ever noticed his absence or if she hated him for it. It was hard to tell. They hadn't spoken in so long that it couldn't have been either one. She could have forgotten him, or she could have been avoiding him.

Or...

His eyes widened at another realization that could have also been true.

Could she have been waiting this whole time? Waiting for him to make contact or even try again with the Division? If so, then that means...

Now his heart felt like it was being sucked into a black hole deep within his stomach. It made him feel like he was going to vomit. But he willed himself to be strong. Not just for him, but for her as well.

His shame and guilt only grew as this new realization hit him hard. One that felt so real, that it had to be true. Because it made the most sense.

It truly was his fault.

Even if she had chosen not to contact him, he chose not to do so as well. He was the one who could have stepped up to change things, but he chose not to when he believed it was all over for him. He just didn't realize it.

Looking back at her, he knew what he needed to do. And he had to do it without getting emotional or comedic. He needed to be serious.

"You're awfully quiet over there," she finally spoke, still looking towards the city as she put her meal back into the bag.

Shaking his head, Kafka replied, "Yeah... just thinking."

"About?" she asked.

"Just... you..." he blushed.

Mina turned to look at him, a slight expression of curiosity.

He turned away, trying to ready himself. Finding the strength to stand up, he approached her and stood still, making sure a couple of feet stood between them.

"I'm sorry!"

Mina's eyes widened, caught off guard by how serious and mature he sounded in saying those words.

Kafka swallowed, "We made a promise to each other that we would fight side by side. And I..." He paused, struggling to find the strength to say what came next. "... I failed to keep that promise."

Mina could only stare at him with surprise and shock, unsure of how to feel or what to say in response. She never suspected that she would be having this conversation with him.

Kafka was barely managing to keep himself from falling apart, hating the fact that he sounded more like a teenager than a thirty-something-year-old man.

"I will do everything I can to make that promise come true and stand by your side. But..."

He paused again, this time because another realization hit him before he even considered what he was going to say next.

"- you may not be able to turn back to human again -"

He remembered the conversation about his transformations possibly leading to a real scenario of him staying a Kaiju forever and losing himself to it. It slowly began to dawn on him that the likelihood of succeeding to become equal to Mina was severely low. How many transformations did he have within him before he would stay a Kaiju forever? And even if he kept himself from transforming, he would still be powerless and useless without.

The math didn't add up, no matter how he looked at it. Best case scenario, he drags it out for as long as possible. Worst case, he becomes a Kaiju soon. Either way, he wouldn't be able to match the status Mina is at in the Division. Not in time. He was already thirty-two and would only get older. His younger years were over, wasted away because of his bad choices.

He kept himself from laughing or showing any kind of emotion to Mina. But he was laughing on the inside. At himself.

He truly was pathetic.

Kafka's mind then turned to No 9, and he felt a sense of determination rising within him. A newfound self-confidence. Even if he couldn't stand by Mina's side or become stronger, he could at the very least make himself useful in bringing that Kaiju down, once and for all. At least then, his life could mean something. Maybe even make up for the promise he foolishly made without knowing if he could keep it.

"Kafka?" Mina asked, her expression turning to worry as she stood up.

Slightly shaking his head, Kafka chuckled, "I really am an idiot. Making promises I can't keep. Keeping secrets from my friends. Making a fool of myself. A part of me wishes I hadn't made that promise you. At least then I could have spared you the pain."

Though he didn't know it, Mina felt her heart tighten at hearing his words.

"Mina-"

She felt her heart come alive at hearing him say her name that way, though she didn't show it. The fact that they were alone was the only reason she wasn't making him do 100 push-ups this time for the way he was speaking to her.

"- I truly am sorry for failing you. For failing to keep my promise. And I'm sure you know by now about the possibility of me becoming a full-on Kaiju. Which is why..." he paused once more, swallowing, "... I don't think I'll be able to keep that promise. Even now."

Mina remembered getting the report about his condition, but she didn't much of it. Believing that they could limit his transformations as much as possible. But the way he was speaking and looking at her... they told her something she didn't want to admit. Or imagine.

"But I can promise you this. I'll do everything I can to help you neutralize No 9."

She almost let her emotions get the better of her in that moment, but she held strong. Despite her inner self begging to respond.

"Which is why, I need you to make me a promise. As hypercritical as that may sound."

The wind brushed against and between them in a moment of silence.

"I need you to promise me that if it comes down to me and No 9, and I end up losing to him. Or even losing control of the monster within me. I need you to promise to take that shot. Blast us both away."

Mina stood frozen. The true meaning of his words not registering fully as the seconds went by.

Kafka was confused by her silence and neutral expression, which made him wonder if their past friendship truly had lost much of its value as he feared it had. But none of that mattered now. If the penance of failing to live up to his promise was this, then he was okay with that. It only helped, ironically.

"I don't plan on losing. To either of them. But we both know that I'm not good at keeping my promises. Which is why, I need you to make one for me. Not just for you or me, but for everyone."

Mina felt the anger rising within her. She wanted to slap him and demand him to do a 1,000 push-ups for asking such a thing. She wanted to blast him away and let his Kaiju side heal him, just to do it all over again. But she kept silent, wishing to let him finish.

"Believe me when I say that if I could go back and do things differently, I would. But I don't have a DeLorean or time watch."

A part of her laughed on the inside.

Kafka stopped, unsure if he should say what he wants to say. But a part of him warned against doing so. If he was right that she didn't feel the same way, it would only make things harder between them. Which was why, he chose to not let those words go unsaid, because what he was saying now was more than enough.

Mina stared back at him, struggling not to let her anger out at that moment. Instead, she chose her next words carefully and in a serious manner.

"If it comes right down to it, I'll kill No 8."

Kafka kept himself in check as he nodded and turned away.

"And Hibino."

He cringed, recognizing her tone when she was angry, especially when using his last name.

"Don't ever ask such a thing from me. Ever. Again."

He turned to look at her, "Understood."

Mina dared not to say or look him in the eyes as she tightened her grip on the bag and walked right past him, heading for the door. Once on the other side and the door closed, she leaned against it and felt the tears rising behind her eyes. She nearly lost control as she remembered his words.

"I'm sorry.

She didn't know how to feel about his apology. A part of her was happy to hear it. And another was sad, angry, and confused. It sounded more like he was giving in to the idea that he wouldn't be able to live up to her and be able to keep that promise. She wanted him to say that he would keep trying to reach her, to be by her side. To finally have him as a partner once again. Like when they were kids.

And now... he was apologizing that it was beginning to scare her. Especially when he asked for a promise from her that felt out of line and a way to avoid failure once more. It hurt so much to think that possibility that it made her angry.

Finding the will to stomach the anger, sadness, and fear, she kept a neutral face as she walked down the steps. Trying hard to push Kafka Hibino out of her mind. To the point that only one word kept resurfacing.

Liar!

Kafka watched as Mina left and began to berate himself for pushing too far. He should have kept the conversation simply to "I'm sorry". Not literally asking of her to kill him, her childhood best friend, in the event he becomes a monster. Or even to wipe out No 9.

Slapping his forehead, he looked out towards the city and slightly smiled at the peacefulness. Even if he couldn't fully enjoy it, due to his mental state at the moment, he did some kind of closure in his promise to himself that he would do whatever it takes to defeat No 9 and keep everyone safe. At least then, his life would mean something.

Maybe his story wasn't one meant to be the best hero the world had ever seen. Maybe his heroics, if he could have anymore, won't be remembered or known. Maybe he doesn't get the girl in the end. Maybe he's not even a hero.

But at the very least he got a chance to do something worthwhile and become part of the Division he wished to join as a kid. Not many get such a chance to live their dream. In that, he felt blessed. Well, kinda, since his dreams only started to become semi-true due to a dragonfly flying into his mouth and turning him into a hybrid monster that may result in his death. But beggars can't be choosers.

And most of all, he got the chance to meet his childhood best friend again and finally be able to apologize.

He smiled, sitting back down on the bench to enjoy his meal as his appetite returned.

While this moment was definitely the 'calm before the storm', he was going to enjoy it as much as possible. After all, guys like him can only take their wins where they can get them. And that's more than enough.

Like I said, it was going to be short. Maybe I'll continue it or maybe I'll leave it as it. Let me know if you're interested in seeing it continued and I'll see what I can do for more ideas.

I wanted to do a moment where Kafka apologizes to Mina, even if it isn't entirely his fault, for failing to keep his promise. It's really up to you guys to decide if he was in the wrong or if Mina was. I have my opinion, which I might actually do a chapter 2 on. Because it is an interesting subject about how exactly these two fell out of contact with one another. I mean, even if he didn't get one, cell phones do exist, so I've always wondered why she never called him or him her. Maybe the manga will explain it, but it does make me wonder what exactly happened. Or if anything happened. For all I know, maybe they both just went their separate ways without meaning to.

Let me know what your thoughts are. I love hearing opinions.