CHAPTER 2
Now it's lunchtime, one of the reasons I hate school so much, another reason I'm also socially unacceptable, as my grandmother would say. In the end I always end up staying at a table in the corner of the cafeteria, trying to distract myself with a book, while the others take advantage of that hour to socialize. At least here they don't usually bother me.
From my corner, I watch as Aria reunites with Emily, it seems like her friendship is being rekindled. On the other hand, Hanna and Spencer have not yet taken the necessary step for everyone to come together. Plus Spencer is probably in the library reviewing what we've already taught today in three classes we've had.
The only moment in which I have felt that I could be part of a group of friends was during the weeks that Alison welcomed me into the group with the others, but it is clear that luck is not on my side because nothing could have turned out worse than those first weeks I was in Rosewood.
I'm about to leave the cafeteria when Stephanie, one of the most popular girls in school, trips me, making me almost fall, and says, "I don't know how they can allow people like you to live in this town." She then walks up to me and whispers, ''I hope your time here is short, rat.''
Much of the cafeteria stares during our interaction, but no one, not even Aria and the rest of the girls, says anything. I'm already used to it, but I would like him to come out and defend me one day.
Stephanie turns around and I take the opportunity to go outside for a moment to relax a little. I usually find it difficult to interact with people and form friendships, but the fact that some bullies are also dedicated to making my life impossible in this town is only aggravating my social phobia and my anxiety.
Once my last class is over, I head to the school's soccer field, since this year I am playing on the women's team. The players don't talk to me, because I'm the weirdo at this school, but at least they don't mess with me, and we have a good time when we're playing. I hope to be able to go play in quite a few games this season. Soccer has always been one of those activities in which I have felt free.
When I finish, I change in the locker room and head home, hating the half hour I have ahead of me to get there. I'm very tired. When I'm halfway there, I find there's an ambulance and the police sealing off Emily's house next door.
That's when, not far from there, I see Hanna, Spencer and Aria looking at the situation before our eyes. I ask them what's going on, but they don't answer me, they just look at me with a bad face. Until I get nervous in case something serious had happened to someone, remembering what happened to my family, and Aria tells me that they had found Alison's body.
As soon as she tells me, I feel very bad and I need to get out of there. The girls look at me askance, suspiciously, as I leave there. I know that maybe I should have stayed a little longer or asked if they knew anything else, but so many sounds of sirens and people talking and looking at me made me start to have my typical panic attack symptoms.
When I get home, I end up having a severe panic attack that lasts about half an hour. Moments like this only make me remember the day when my life ended up ruined and alone it is very difficult for me to overcome these attacks, because my grandmother does not understand them and does not want to go to a psychologist in case someone in town finds out. They might think that we are not perfect.
Thank goodness it didn't take me long to get home, because a few more minutes and I get to have it in front of everyone. I wouldn't want to know what my grandmother would be like if that happened. The first time I had one in front of her, she ended up hitting me with a cake just in case I 'did it', so every time I know I'm going to have one I try to stay away from everyone.
Lately they are more frequent and with these latest events, without help, I doubt they will decrease.
I wish I had people who would care about me.
Those who did it will not return.