A/N: I've been reading your reviews and wow - thank you! The kind words mean the world to me, and I love the feedback.

I was debating addressing the time jumps, but now that more than a few reviewers have pointed it out, I wanted to nail down some specifics.

First, it's been about 102 years since Edward left Bella in New Moon. I realize now that some of my timing was either unclear or inconsistent, so I'll be going back to correct those oversights as needed.

Second, technology. Yes, I do imagine it would have changed in that time, but honestly I'm wary of going anywhere near flying cars and teleportation. For the sake of both consistency and my sanity, please assume that technology has indeed progressed, but is still relatively similar to what we have today (no flying cars, sorry - but imagine 20G cell phone service!)

I know that might not be very satisfying, but I hate to admit I did not plan out that aspect of the story very well, and to alter it now would be very difficult. For that, I sincerely apologize.

To any and all who read this, again I thank you - for your patience, understanding, and hopefully enjoyment. I never in a million years planned to write like this, and you all make the brain cramps extremely worthwhile.

There's two wolves, yeah, battle in us all right now
One's good, the other one is evil
If you're wondering which wolf inside will succeed
It's simple, it's the one that you feed

I did not have him in any of my other classes save 4th period, but I was still surprised I didn't see Edward again until lunch. He was leaning against the wall just off the side of the cafeteria doors, his topaz eyes tracking me as I approached.

He pushed off the wall when I was only a few feet away and gestured toward the sidewalks that ran around the campus. "Take a walk with me?"

"Sure. Lead the way." He made no move to touch me again, and we walked side by side in companionable silence. I took the opportunity to ponder precisely why I had enjoyed his hand on my face before and, subsequently, why I wished strongly that he would do it again.

We were just rounding the back side of the gym when he motioned in the direction of some picnic tables. We sat opposite each other, but he didn't say anything, just continued to gaze at me.

Feeling awkward, I ran my fingers through my hair and tucked a strand behind my ear. He continued to look at me in silence, so I began to catalogue the birds I observed and wondered why we'd come back here or took a walk in the first place.

Finally, he cleared his throat, snapping my full attention back to him. "Will you tell me about yourself? Please?"

It was my turn to stare, completely at a loss for how to even answer his question. I knew when Mrs. Chatham had asked me this exact same thing that first day a year ago, she did not mean it how he did now.

There was no possible way to respond without sounding absolutely demented. Most everything about me was either assumed, only explained by hallucinations, or made me sound like an absolute lunatic, but usually all of the above.

I blinked, still debating my answer. I decided vague was best, hoping his question was borne from polite consideration rather than genuine interest as I had originally thought.

"There's really not much to tell. I like reading, mostly. I have a Masters in English from Washington State, and I taught there for a while. I can play the violin, but I haven't picked it up in a while."

His eyes, so thoughtful before, now openly displayed shock. "I understand you're more humane than most of our kind, but you actually went through college and have a Masters? And you play violin? How old are you, exactly?"

I cast my gaze to the side, embarrassment rising in my throat like bile. It warred with the worry I had somehow said something wrong. "It's not that incredible. I met a few others who had various hobbies and occupations. I just.. needed a distraction more than most."

I avoided the topic of my age, partially because I wasn't entirely sure of how old I was and partially because it felt embarrassing to admit that.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insinuate that there's anything inherently wrong with that, it's just.." He debated for a moment, apparently toying with the wording. "Most of our kind don't usually partake in higher education. Your answer surprised me, that's all. If it makes you feel any better, I have several degrees of my own."

He gave me a wry smile, and I felt the corners of my mouth turn up shyly in response. Now that the conversation was going, I didn't want it stop. "What about you - tell me about yourself, and your family. You're the first I've ever seen that live even remotely similar to me. I'm curious about that."

"At first it was only Carlisle and I. He changed me when I was dying of the Spanish influenza in 1918. He changed Esme not long after in 1921 - she had tried to commit suicide after losing her infant son. Rosalie was changed after, then Emmett. Both were near death as well. Alice and Jasper found us around 1950. All of us, for the most part, have always fed on the blood of animals. Carlisle was always very compassionate, and he realized it was possible to survive on animal blood. It was hard not to want to follow his example. He calls us vegetarians." He laughed without humor at the nickname.

He must have noticed my blank stare, because he frowned slightly before asking, "Elle..? Is everything alright?" I shook my head to clear the stupor.

"Yes. Sorry. It's just.. I also call myself a vegetarian. It's just funny, I guess, to feel connected to someone after being alone for so long. So Carlisle only changes people that were dying?"

He nodded, but his gaze was focused on something or someone far from the present. "He believed to change a completely healthy human was dooming them to a cursed existence. He only changed me, Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett because we were on the brink of death, among other circumstances." He frowned at the mention of Rosalie. "Alice and Jasper were changed by others, but they're still fully committed to Carlisle's philosophy."

The bell rang then, signaling the end of lunch. I stood, pushing myself away from the picnic table. I held my hand out to him, much like he did for me this morning. "Shall we go endure Ms. Goodlock's riveting commentary on kinematics together?"

He smiled wanly, then took my hand. "Together, then." The spark was back at his touch, and that thrilled me.

Our odd little friendship continued on like that for a month. We sat at the same picnic table and discussed a variety of topics, ranging from the benefits of living in the Olympic peninsula to the merits of Jane Austen. After that first day, we kept the conversation in safe, neutral territory, always skirting around the one thing I suspected both of us were desperate to discuss and also desperate to avoid.

I learned that Jasper could control people's emotions and Alice was psychic - or clairvoyant, depending on which side of the table you consulted. I knew Rosalie had outright refused to attend high school again - apparently something they had done numerous times - and whiled away her time renovating their house with Esme instead. Edward told me he played piano, and offered to play with me some time. I didn't know how to tell him that would be like driving a knife into my heart.

Also curious about Rosalie was that Carlisle had intended her to be a partner for Edward, and they had been at odds ever since her conception. This particular fact made Edward grind his teeth, but I found it rather amusing.

I finally volunteered up that I had a shield over my brain, a topic that took us through an entire week as he marveled over how it worked. He also moaned when we got to the topic of cars, him drooling over my Audi while I shook my head in exasperation. I was firm that running, regardless of distance, was still better.

After a spirited debate over herbivores vs carnivores, which took us through AP Physics with me thinking at him and Edward either subtly shaking or nodding his head in response, I was feeling more elated than usual.

Typically he walked me to my car, bidding me a good evening until tomorrow, but as I walked out of calculus, I didn't see him anywhere. His absence made the fault lines along my chest shudder, something that had not happened once we began our lunch trysts, so I tried not to dwell on it too much.

I had just made it to the Audi when a heated exchange caught my attention. The fact I recognized both voices made me worry, so I listened harder.

Alice spoke first, her usually-pleasant voice sharp and angry. "I'm telling you, this is a bad idea. You can SEE it, Edward!"

A growl, Edward this time. "Contrary to popular belief, Alice, you are not omniscient. For the last time, butt out."

They had just come into view, just off the side of the art building. Alice grabbed his arm and yanked his determined stride to a stop. "If you won't listen to me, then so help me, I will have Emmett drag you back home. You'll have to satisfy your curiosity some other way."

The threat seemed to have its intended effect - I could hear his teeth grinding, a sure sign that he knew he had lost for the moment.

Alice gave him another long stare and departed, throwing, "Remember - Emmett. Different way," over her shoulder as she flitted towards their car.

Edward had noticed me now, and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. When he was closer, I asked him, "What was that about?" He only shook his head and said, "Alice." It sounded like it was both an explanation and an epithet.

I opened my mouth to ask for more, but closed it quickly. If he wanted to tell me, he would. I could only assume it was something related to their family, so I didn't want to pry. I gave him a small smile, then mussed his hair.

I must've taken him off guard, because he jumped slightly and ogled me for a moment. I laughed, enjoying the way it made me feel. "Don't worry about it too much. I'm sure it'll work itself out, whatever it is. I'll see you Monday."

He seemed confused, which made me feel like teasing him. "Please don't tell me you forgot it's Friday. I thought vampire brains were supposed to be perfect."

He smirked darkly, shaking his head. "No, I did not forget. I'm just sad I'll have to wait until Monday to see you again."

I had just got into the Audi and rolled down the window. I fixed my face with an expression of mock outrage, still feeling in a teasing mood. "Don't tell me something like that, I might start thinking you have feelings for me."

The hurt that flashed across his face was brief, but I still noticed it. I had only been joking, but I immediately felt awkward and terrible, sure my remark made him think of the girl he had lost.

He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Well, I would hate to give you that impression." Suddenly the whole exchange felt off, like hitting a note an octave below where it was supposed to be. Not knowing what else to say, I waved, then took off as fast as I could without seeming rude. Although I hadn't been planning on it, suddenly I knew my weekend would be spent in a heap in the meadow.

Time always passed slowly and without fanfare for me, but that weekend was particularly excruciating. My intuition had been correct - the moment I parked my car, I was out the door and into the woods, trying desperately to outrun the oncoming grief.

I curled up in the meadow, back to a motionless pile once again, and ruminated over my last exchange with Edward. The hurt I had seen on his face was most certainly real, but I grappled with placing the reasoning.

The most likely explanation was the girl that had died. Her existence was still cloaked in mystery, the only sure thing about her being her name. I did not know if she had been human or vampire - either explanation left more questions than they solved.

A human who had died made more sense in the regard that humans were extremely fragile, and born with an expiration date. Less sense, even the most humane of vampires would have to take complete leave of their senses to routinely keep company with a human.

A vampire that had been destroyed explained why the loss was so tragic - more than likely, Edward and her had been in love, and something with such a strong emotional attachment was bound to permanently alter a vampire. I was proof of that. However, vampires were not killed easily, and a coven of Carlisle's size and talent should have certainly been able to defend themselves in most forms of assault.

The only way a vampire lover that had been eliminated made real sense, then, was if she had been on the wrong end of the Volturi, but in that case, Carlisle's entire family should have been destroyed.

Any way I examined it, none of the pieces seemed to line up cleanly. My brain started to hurt trying to make sense of it, so I moved on to the less likely explanation for his reaction.

Edward had feelings for me. Which, the more I thought about it, made even less sense, because he had very clearly loved this mysterious dead girl, which meant that him even liking me was beyond reason. We had also only been friends for little over a month, and I felt like this timeline was far too short for even a mild form of attachment.

I was so consumed with my mental gymnastics that I missed that the very object of my obsession had apparently materialized in the meadow across from me. He only stood there, pain spasming across his face, so I could only assume that this was another hallucination conjured up by my fractured brain.

I rolled onto my back and sighed, squeezing my eyes shut. I counted to 100 before I opened them again, but he was still standing in the same spot, now staring at me in horror.

I huffed. "Well, what is it this time?" I didn't give it a chance to respond. I flipped myself onto my belly, facing this most gorgeous apparition.

"I do wonder.. it's been over 100 years, and my brain is scarcely less broken than it was at the beginning. Why do you think that is?"

I had to admit, this was a nice change from the usual assault of meaningless impressions and flashes I typically had to endure. It was still staring at me, so I continued.

"You know, I truly hoped that Forks High School would have had some kind of answer for me. I think, if I hadn't met you I would probably be back in the mountains somewhere, comatose again. Then again, you aren't really you, but still. You know what I mean." I sighed, wishing he were the real thing.

"At some point I'll have to tell Edward the entire sordid affair, but how do you even tell someone something like that, let alone someone you don't really know?

'Hey, so, I have no idea who turned me into a vampire, and the real reason I drink animal blood is because my brain told me to. Also, I spent the better half of my life living like a mindless zombie because I can't actually remember anything about my stupid human life and whenever I do remember things I apparently scream like a harpy before turning into a depressed pile of mush for another 20 years.'"

I sat up, eyeing the hallucinatory Edward. His expression hadn't changed, and he still hadn't moved from where he first appeared. I pouted, throwing myself back into the grass.

"Yeah.. I have no idea what to say to that, either." I slid my phone out of my pocket and checked the time. "This has been nice, not dealing with it all on my own for once. Even though you aren't real, it still feels nice to talk about."

I sprang lightly to my feet, dusting my pants off. I turned to head home, smiling at him over my shoulder. "As far as hallucinations go, you're pretty good."