A/N: Hello! Thank you guys so much for the reviews! Sorry about the long wait. It's been a busy couple of weeks. I moved across town this week and had work on top of that so I didn't have much time to write. I'm back with Part VI. I really hope you like it. Please review and let me know what you think. Love, Ellivia22

Disclaimer: I unfortunately don't own the Outsiders. I want to go to their museum someday though. That would be really cool.

I Need You

Part VI

Darry

The next morning, I woke up physically refreshed, but mentally drained. It took me longer to fall asleep than usual because I couldn't stop berating myself. I had the perfect chance to make up with Ponyboy but couldn't get the words out. I was too afraid. Afraid that deep down he still hated me.

I sighed, putting on my work jeans, and then slipping my white work shirt over my head. The weekend was coming up-not that it mattered. I always worked the weekends. For once I was glad. It would distract me from my most recent failure.

Knock Knock

I turned from my position by my dresser to see Sodapop leaning in the doorway. He was already dressed for work with fresh grease in his hair. He must've just gotten out of the shower. The grin on his face was wide. He looked as though he had won a competition at the rodeo or something. After what he did last night, I wondered what he was up to this time.

"Mornin'," I greeted cautiously.

"Ponyboy wanted me to come get you. He said breakfast is almost ready."

I looked at him in surprise. That would be the second morning in a row that Ponyboy was up early enough to make us breakfast. Usually, he was the last person to get out of bed. I wondered what had gotten into him. Did it have anything to do with dinner last night?

"All right," I said. "I'll be right there."

Sodapop didn't move from his position in front of the door. "So how did last night go?"

I averted my gaze as the anger at myself returned in full force. "I couldn't do it," I mumbled.

"What?! Why not?! You had the perfect opportunity!"

"I know." I sighed. "I tried. Really, I did, but I just couldn't. I…. I was too afraid."

The sharpness in Sodapop's tone softened. "Pony don't hate you if that's what you're worried about. He just wants to know that you care about him and that you're sorry. He loves you, even if he won't admit it right now."

I sighed again. I wanted to tell Sodapop that I overheard Ponyboy venting that night-that I knew how he really felt about me, but I stayed silent. If I told him, the sharp pain in my heart would come back all over again.

I moved past him. "C'mon let's eat. We gotta be at work soon." Sodapop sighed too but followed me down the hallway without argument.

The delicious smell of eggs invaded my nose when we entered the kitchen. Ponyboy was setting a plate with eggs and grape jelly on the table, followed by another plate with eggs made hard. He was dressed in a green T-shirt and jeans, his dark hair covered in fresh grease. I noticed another plate with a tomato and egg sandwich and a cup of coffee. Each plate had a slice of chocolate cake. I was amazed that he remembered what I liked.

"Mornin'" Ponyboy said. He didn't look at either of us as he poured chocolate milk into two glasses.

"Mornin'," I managed as normally as I could. "Thanks for making us breakfast again, kid."

"No problem."

We sat down to eat. The tomato was juicy and melted in my mouth. He made it perfectly. I felt myself slip away from my troubles and enjoy the delicious meal in front of me.

"Where did ya go last night?" Ponyboy asked Sodapop, breaking the silence that had been between us for the past ten minutes.

"To the rodeo," he answered. He swallowed, then took a bite of his slice of chocolate cake. "Steve and I watched the barrel races."

I tuned them out. I became lost in my thoughts. If Ponyboy made this for me two days in a row, then he must still care about me. Right?

"Darry…"

Or maybe he was just being nice because Sodapop was trying to get us to make up. My chest tightened from that one thought. That's what it was. He didn't really care about me. He just didn't want to hurt Sodapop anymore.

"Hey, Darry."

My head snapped up. Ponyboy was staring at me. He looked almost concerned. I could also see slight fear in his brown eyes. "Yeah?"

He hesitated before speaking again. "I…uh…was wonderin' if I could go to the movies tomorrow night. There's a double feature of Paul Newman's movies playin'."

I stared at him in shock. Did he just ask for my permission for something? It had been so long. After what happened between us, I thought my opinion didn't matter to him anymore. Maybe Soda was right.

I took a long sip of coffee. Tomorrow was Saturday night, which meant his curfew was later. I wanted to tell him yes but warn him that he better be home by curfew this time and not go alone. I wanted to tell him that if he scared me like he did the night of our fight I'd ground him for a month. I decided against it. The last thing I needed to do was get into another fight with him. "Fine."

To my surprise, Ponyboy didn't look happy about my answer. Instead, he looked…disappointed. His smile faded and he averted his gaze. "Thanks," he mumbled.

We didn't speak for the rest of breakfast, each one of us lost in our thoughts. Ponyboy kept his eyes on his plate. He almost looked…sad. But why? I had been doing everything I could to leave him alone like he wanted. Why all of a sudden did he not look happy about it?

After a quick cleanup, Sodapop and I prepared to leave for work. "Bye Pony," Soda said cheerfully, ruffling his dark hair. "Have a great day."

"You too."

I put on my brown jacket, longing to say the same to him. Right as I grabbed the knob of the door, Ponyboy's voice made me stop. "Have a good day, Darry. Don' work too hard."

I turned to him, a grin forming on my face. I hadn't felt this happy since we fought. He might not have forgiven me just yet, but the fact that he was speaking to me again was a major improvement. Maybe things will go back to normal soon after all.

"You too, kid."

I left the house, Sodapop behind me. Sodapop threw an arm around my shoulders, his grin wider than ever. "See? What did I tell ya?"

I didn't answer. I continued to grin to myself. Things were finally turning around for the better.

Ponyboy

1. Which expression is equivalent to (4i) ^3

2. If f(x)=3x^2-2 and g(x)= 4x+ 2, what is the value of (f+g)(-1)?

I stared at the equations in frustration. Which expression? What in the heck did that mean? I rubbed my eraser hard on the answer I had put next to question 1. I rubbed it so hard it left streak marks. That couldn't be the right answer.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair in frustration. Those questions made no sense to me at all. It was like reading a foreign language, like Spanish or German. How would I go about figuring this out? The longer I stared at the questions, the more confused I became. Besides World History, Math was easily one of my worst subjects.

For the millionth time, I asked myself why I was working on my homework on a Friday night. I should be out with Johnny and Dally, hanging out at the vacant lot, or at the drive-in movie theater. Or I could be in the living room, playing cards with Sodapop, Steve, and Two-Bit. Instead, I continued to stare at the difficult math problems in front of me, trying my best to drown out the loud laughter coming from the living room. There were ten problems, and I was already stuck on the first two.

I wish Darry was here, I thought to myself. He's a whiz at math. He'd know how to solve this problem. I grinned to myself. He'd even make me do it over again and over again until I understood. On any normal day, I'd resent him hounding me about my homework, but now I wished he was around to help me. But he was working at the bar tonight. Like always.

I sighed again, my grin fading. My interaction with Darry this morning during breakfast still bothered me. I had hoped that making breakfast would show him that I wasn't as angry as I was before. I wasn't quite ready to forgive him-not until he apologized, but I wasn't expecting him to be so cold toward me. Just like when I told him about my exam grade last night, Darry didn't seem to care when I asked him if I could go to the movies. That hurt more than any time that he had ever hollered at me. It hurt more than his slap. Why was he acting this way? Was it my fault? Did I do something wrong?

I heard the door open. Sodapop stuck his head in. "Hey, whatcha doin'?" he asked.

Sodapop. Perfect. He could help me answer this difficult math problem. "Soda, do you think you could help me solve this math problem? I can't figure it out."

He gave me a strange look. "Homework? Why are you doin' homework? It's only Friday!"

"I just wanna get a head start that's all," I said shortly. "Can you just help me? Please?"

He hesitated for a second. The grin remained on his face. He came over to my desk. "Sure, little buddy. Let's take a look."

He studied my open textbook. I could immediately see the utter confusion on his face. It would seem he understood this problem as well as I did. Then after a moment, his expression changes to triumphant. "I got it! The answer to question number 1 is -32i."

I stared at the math problem again. -32i? No that couldn't be right. "Are you sure?" I ask uncertainly.

"Sure because…" Sodapop trailed off, his smile faltering. He sighed. "I honestly dunno, Pony. I told you I'm dumb."

"You ain't dumb," I protested. "You're the smartest person I know."

"Thanks Pony. That means a lot, but I can't help you. It would be better if you ask Darry. He is much better at this stuff than I am."

I sighed and threw my pencil on my book in frustration. He was right. I needed Darry. "I would if he was home more often," I mumbled.

Sodapop raised an eyebrow. "Is that the real reason you're workin' on homework? To get his attention?"

"I…I just can't stand the way he is acting around me anymore," I blurted out before I could stop myself. "I thought my life would get better if he wasn't in it, but now that he barely even speaks to me anymore….it's worse. I-I can't stand it. I-It's like he doesn't care anymore." I looked at my older brother desperately. A tear fell down my cheek, followed by another. "Why is he acting this way? W-what did I do wrong?"

"You did nothin' wrong, Pony," Sodapop said gently. He rubbed my back soothingly. "After he hit you, Darry decided to give you space in hopes that you would forgive him for what he did. Believe me, he misses you just as much as you miss him." I thought about his words. "Do you know what you could do to make him come home?"

"What?" I asked desperately. I would do almost anything at this point.

"If you forgave him."

I stayed silent for a couple of seconds. I wanted to forgive my oldest brother for what he did more than anything. I wanted things to go back to normal. Yet I couldn't. Not until Darry apologized for hitting me. Not until he showed that he cared about me. Then I thought about dinner last night. When he called me back, he was struggling to get his words out. But the apology was written all over his face. And his blue eyes were no longer cold, but almost looked pleading.

"I want to," I said after a moment. "I want to more than anything. I just wish he'd say it to me. I wish…I wish that he'd tell me that he loved me."

Sodapop's trademark grin came back. "Darry ain't as good with words as you are, kiddo. He shows his love by his actions. After all, he wouldn't be workin' so hard if he didn't care about us." When I didn't respond, his face looked almost desperate, his blue eyes almost as pleading as Darry's was last night. "Please, Pony. It would mean a lot to me."

"All right," I agreed reluctantly. "For you."

Sodapop grinned and ruffled my hair. "You're an okay kid."

I grinned back.

"Yo Soda!" Steve called from the dining room. "We're about to deal another round."

Sodapop gave me one last squeeze then left the room.

I sat in the chair and mulled over my conversation with Sodapop. He was right. This had to stop, even if I hadn't quite forgiven Darry yet. I decided to talk to my oldest brother when he came home-no matter how late it was. It was time we fixed everything between us.

Darry

I yawned lightly as I parked the truck in front of the house. It was a busy night at the bar. I had to break up two separate fights, which resulted me in earning a black eye and a nasty bruise on my shoulder. That was going to hurt in the morning. I hoped that didn't affect working on the roof tomorrow.

Usually, Sodapop and Ponyboy would leave the porch lights on for me when I worked late, but tonight I noticed that the lights in the living room were still on. That was strange. It was nearly one in the morning. Everyone should be in bed, even if it was a Friday night. Someone must be still awake. I really hoped it wasn't Ponyboy. I was way too tired to get into a fight with him. Not when everything was going was starting to get better between us.

When I entered the house, I found my baby brother fast asleep on the couch. His math book was opened on his lap and his homework is on top. I could see several erase marks on the paper and crossed-out numbers. It looked like he was having trouble. Why was he working on homework on a Friday night? Why wasn't he in bed with Sodapop? Is he waiting for me to come home? I thought to myself in slight hope.

I longed to wake him up and apologize. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, but he was sleeping so soundly. It wasn't the right time. I grinned again when I thought about this morning. I'll do it tomorrow, I promised myself. I'll do it first thing.

Suddenly Ponyboy began to thrash violently, knocking his book and pencil to the ground. Sweat appeared on his flushed face and he was whimpering. A nightmare. Ponyboy hadn't had one of those since Sodapop started sleeping with him. This one looked like a really bad one.

I sat beside him on the couch. I shook his shoulder gently. "Pony. Hey Pony, wake up."

No response.

Tears spilled down his cheeks, twisting my heart painfully. Gently I pulled him into my arms. I rocked back and forth, my hand gently stroking his hair. "Shhhh…it's okay, baby. I got you. You're okay."

Instead of being comforted by my words, Ponyboy thrashed even more in my arms. I gripped him tightly, but he continued to fight me. "N-no," he moaned softly. "L-let me go!"

"Pony, it's okay," I tried again. "I'm here. Nobody is gonna hurt you. You're safe."

My efforts were no good. I grimaced when his nails dug deep into my arm, drawing blood. It was no use. He was too deep in his nightmare. Sodapop. I had to get him to Sodapop. He was the only one who could calm Ponyboy at this point. Gently I stood up, Ponyboy still in my arms, despite his desperate attempts to escape. He was light as a feather. Quickly I moved past the dining room and into the hall.

Sodapop jolted awake when I opened the bedroom door. He blinked at me, obviously still half asleep. "Wassumatter," he mumbled.

"He's having a nightmare," I told him shortly. Gently I put Ponyboy on the bed next to Sodapop.

Sodapop threw an arm around Ponyboy. My heart broke into pieces as I watched Ponyboy cling onto Sodapop tightly-as if he were his security blanket. I knew that Sodapop and Ponyboy were close, but it hurt so much that Sodapop could calm him down and I couldn't.

I couldn't stand watching another second. It hurt too much. I told Sodapop a quiet goodnight then headed to my room for the night. My throat was so tight it was difficult to breathe, but for once I held the tears back.

It was at that moment that the devastating realization hit me. Ponyboy was right all along. Besides financial support, he didn't need me. Neither did Soda. As long as they had each other they were fine. I was just the nagging older brother. I was a fool thinking that Ponyboy still cared for me-that he actually needed me.

I crawled into bed, pulling the covers over my head. My chest hurt really bad now it was difficult to breathe. It took a while, but I finally fell asleep into nightmares of my own.

Ponyboy

Flames were engulfing the old, abandoned church at a rapid speed. I couldn't see anything but the billowing smoke that spilled out through the windows. It was so hot I felt like I was getting a really bad sunburn, and the smell of burning wood from the doors and pews churned my stomach. Where the hell was I? How did I get here? Most importantly, how was I going to escape?

"Burn Greaser!"

Through one of the broken windows, I could see Bob and Randy standing outside. They laughed as they chucked burning beer bottles at the church, enraging the fire. My heart pounded hard in my chest as the panic set in. I was going to burn to death. There was no escape. Bob was going to kill me-just like Cherry said he would.

"Ponyboy!" I whirled around, squinting. Through the thick smoke and orange flames, I could barely see Darry from one of the broken windows that was boarded up. He was standing outside of the burning church in his black T-shirt and olive jeans. He looked around frantically. "Pony! Where are you?!"

I coughed, but all it did was inhale more smoke. My only chance of escaping was through that window. The fire was burning through the wood fast. If I could get to the window, I could tear down the boards and get to my brother. It was my only chance. "Darry! I'm here!"

I tried my hardest to move toward my brother, but my feet didn't want to move. It was as if they were glued to the ground by cement. I coughed again. "Darry!"

Suddenly I felt strong arms grab me from behind. They held firm. The Socs. They got me. "N-no!" I screamed desperately. "Let me go!"

"Pony!" Darry continued to call. "Y-you're scaring me! Where are you?!"

I struggled hard against the figures that were holding me back. I couldn't take my eyes off my brother, who was getting more frantic by the second. "I-I'm coming! I'm coming to you!"

I hit the fiery figure as hard as I could with my elbow. Then I dug my nails into the other figure until he let go. The adrenaline was running through me so fast it was as if I was in the middle of a track meet. As fast as I could I ran to the window. I stopped suddenly when a burning timber fell, barely missing me by inches.

"Pony, I'm sorry," Darry said in spirals of hysteria. If he wasn't bawling now, he was about to start. "I-I didn't mean to hit you. P-please forgive me!"

I carefully jumped over the fallen timber and after burning my fingers from ripping off the blackened wood I dove through the glass window. I didn't feel the pain of the glass shattering all over me. I hit the ground hard and rolled, putting out the flames burning on my back. I ran out of the burning church as fast as I could and into my brother's waiting arms. I clutched onto him desperately. I was alive. I was alive and safe. I began bawling, the tears coming so fast they were impossible to control. They irritated the burns on my face, but I didn't care.

"Shhh it's okay, Pony," Darry said soothingly, his hand running gently through my soot-covered hair. "I've got you. You're safe now."

As I felt the adrenaline seep from my body I began to relax. I felt safe and protected being in my big brother's arms. Everything was going to be okay as long as I had Darry.

"I love you," I whispered, burying my head into his shoulder. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, kid."

When I woke up the next morning the sun was already out. I found myself clutching onto Sodapop so hard that I left fingernail marks on his arm. Sodapop was stroking my hair gently. His touch was soothing. He always knew how to calm me. I wondered if I had kept him up all night again with my nightmare. "Are you okay, Pony? Bad dream?"

I sat up quickly, breathing heavily. The images of my nightmare ran through my mind over and over again like a broken record. My heart was pounding so hard against my chest. I wiped the sweat off my face. The burning fire felt so real. I could feel the flames lick my skin and the increasing temperatures. I could hear Darry frantically calling out my name in panic. Darry…

Sodapop's arms wrapped around my shoulders. "It's okay. It was just a nightmare."

"Darry," I gasped, wiping my face again. I glanced at Sodapop frantically. "Where's Darry?"

"It's a little after seven. He's probably in the kitchen making us breakfast."

I didn't waste a second. I bolted out of bed and raced out of the bedroom. My heart continued to pummel hard against my chest. I had to see my big brother. I had to make sure that he was all right. I skidded into the kitchen. My heart immediately plummeted to my stomach.

The kitchen was empty. Darry was not there. Was he still asleep.? I turned to make my way to his bedroom when I noticed a note on the table.

Soda,

I left for work early. The keys to the truck are on the coffee table. I'll see you tonight.

Darry

I sank into the chair and stared at the note despondently. I could still hear Darry's frantic voice in my head as if he was still in the same room as me.

Pony, you're scaring me.

As I slowly recovered from my nightmare, I finally accepted the truth I had been suppressing from the beginning. It was an accident. Darry didn't mean to hit me. He reacted the way he did because he was afraid. Afraid of losing me. He did love me.

The resentment and anger slipped away. Instead, I felt grateful to have a big brother who cared about me so much. I wanted more than anything to make up with him and mend our bond at long last. I wanted to tell him that I had forgiven him and still loved him. But how could I do that if he was never home?

Sodapop approached me cautiously from the doorway of the kitchen. He knelt in front of me. His blue eyes were huge, and his face looked very alarmed. "Pony? What's wrong?"

A tear fell down my cheek, followed by another. I swallowed hard, then uttered the one truth that I had been denying since the night we fought. "I…I miss Darry."

To be continued...