Sunday 27 July 2008, Dublin, Ireland
"This issue of people thinking I was the fake Chariot made me take a drastic measure, which was to cut myhair again, still a little longer than I had before, but the same length as when I performed in 2007, so youcould tell it was me, people thought that because my hair was long it wasn't me, even if it wasn't very long, Itwas my tactic so they wouldn't associate me with the fake Chariot and also people didn't really believe thegigs that were advertised on the websites, even though we did our best to advertise on the internet, well thenext gig was already confirmed, it was going to be in a theatre in Dublin, which we even waited for the houseto fill up because it had more than a thousand seats and we paid a good bill to be able to perform, we evenmade some products to sell at the door, since April was going to go with us to sell at the door of the gig."
It's today, I hope this performance ends up working out, I don't want to end up failing, the last one worked out and was a success, but all this tension from people saying I was a fake is getting to me a lot, I've had to cut my hair short again, I'm already all made up, ready to perform, now it's all or nothing, I have to dedicate myself to this career if I want things to work out.
"All set, Chariot?" Asks my mum.
"I'm ready, let's start the show, I'll do my best" I say to Mum.
"We're about to start, I know you can do it girl, I'm going upstairs to set up the sound and everything, when it's time to perform" she said waving to me, as she can't play at the moment so as not to mess up her hair or make-up.
"We've hidden the camera very well this time, there won't be anyone to take your photo and diminish your merit, no one will think you're a cheap copy of yourself love" I hope so, I'm going to do my best here, I know it's going to work.
I wave to my girlfriend as she leaves the dressing room, she must have gone towards the machine, I'm ready to go, since I'm changed, all I need is Shiny Rod and to show up to perform, I take a deep breath, look at myself in the mirrors, I'm going to build up the confidence to put my feet on the stage, I know I can get there. I walk out of the dressing room and stand behind the stage, I can hear the stage effects starting to appear, my theme is starting to play, it's time to show my face, I walk to where the part of the stage that lifts up underneath the stage is positioned and I stand on it, I start to be lifted up and the floor opens up above me and from there I appear with all my effects waving to the whole audience.
"Give me your hand and I'll lead you into the world of magic, where magic is believing in yourself!" I'm already giving my twirl and holding my hat to introduce you.
I kept smiling at the audience, but I could see something, the audience isn't that big, the theatre isn't even full, we rented one that seats up to a thousand, the news of the hoax caught on with the Chariot fans, I knew there would be something to get in the way, what the hell, there's hardly anyone, but I'm still going to cheer up, it may not be full, but there are still a lot of people, I know I can draw attention even so I keep doing my steps, moving like the action on stage, I know everyone will love my performance.
[...]
I get to the end of the performance, I wave to everyone and people clap, I'm panting, I think it worked, there may not be a full house, but I did it, everyone is seeing the Shiny Chariot and liking it, just to show that the real one is back, what am I going to do waiting for the curtains to cover me, I think for today it might be the chance to revive me, I look at my girlfriend coming out of the machine and she's smiling.
"Chariot, you were marvellous, you're always incredible" said my girlfriend.
"I'm grateful that you're here with me Daniella, I'm just a bit upset that for the first time I see empty seats in the audience, usually it's always full and with lots of people waiting for me outside it's bizarre that now I'm in a slump" I say to her who tries to comfort me by stroking my head.
"I know it's frustrating, the internet is being really cruel to you, they can say anything, I know that you're the real one and that there's no such thing as a fake Chariot" said Daniella.
Then I head to my dressing room to change back and I also meet my mum who gives me the thumbs up, well there's not much to say about today's performance, I've just done my time and done well, I just have to see if it all works out in the end, next time we'll be travelling somewhere else.
[...]
Friday 1st August 2008, Dublin, Ireland
We're about to leave for Shiny Chariot's first tour, but first let's see how the news is, I hope it's not as bad as I thought it would be, the last time I saw it people were even refusing to go to the theatre and that worried me a lot, Aunt April who is the one who uses the internet the most of us is going to show us and the results don't seem that positive, it seems that the situation has only got worse.
"What do you mean? What do you mean there are more of my clones around? It's not just me introducing myself... They're talking about more of my clones after the disappearance and I'm included in that, but damn" I say frustrated, looking at the computer monitor.
"Worse, girls, there seems to be a wave of Shiny Chariot clones and this could affect your career, it seems that someone is setting it up" said Mrs Jordan.
"Is it possible that Daryl is even up to this? Doesn't that woman get tired of making my life a living hell?" I'm really disgusted, she's always the one who pays these people.
"There's no way they're your fans, look at all the different versions of you, as if they were trying to give the impression of amateurism" said my mum.
The internet comments on our page aren't the best, I see that people are saying similar things about it, calling me a fake and everything, but I'm not, I'm on my official profile, I've even verified it on Twitter, how can this be real, all the work I've done to build my image being thrown away by the nine witches.
I'm even crying, crying because of things they say on the internet, but seeing news like this really discourages me, I need to pull myself together, I look at my mum and my girlfriend, I'm being hugged by both of them
"That's absurd, they don't think it's you because the shows aren't as flashy as they used to be, we just don't have the money" said my mum.
"We need to talk about this" I say to my aunt April.
"Do some posting about it, it might help make people realise that you're you" said Mrs Jordan.
I sit down at the computer desk and write the important retraction, I really hope they don't try to play me for the worst, I need this fame at these gigs, or nothing will work out, it's a bitch that I can't follow social networks on my mobile phone, otherwise I'd be able to find out the news.
Soon the first interactions were appearing and no one really believed me, I even posted another banner for the next gig, which I'm making clear is me, I'm not pretending anything, I don't know why you think that.
"Well, let's not worry about social media, let's get on with your trip to Cork, I'm sure you'll manage" I hope so, otherwise things will get much worse.
We pick up our bags and head outside, now we've even got a laptop to store the things from the performance and even an internet signal, even if it's not the fastest, it's good that the bus has enough space for us, there's also the stage all dismantled in the lorry which I'm already taking a deep breath for, we've even arranged a driver for us.
"So, girls, as I don't have much to do at the moment, I can drive the lorry for you" said Grandad.
"Dad, you don't need a driving licence" said my mother.
"They only have a car licence, they haven't got a lorry licence, they'll need one later if they want to go out with this thing, so shall we go? So Chariot can rest on the bus" I'm really grateful that Grandad came to help us.
I hug him and we head off to collect the rest of our things, I hope Grandad doesn't get too overwhelmed by having to go out so much, he's going to help us present it next time, I'm sure it'll work out this time.
With all the suitcases on the bus, we get on and wow, it's brand new and there's plenty of space for our things, it's much better than the old one, we're really going to be able to live in luxury here, I even get anxious as I get on and sit down on one of the sofas inside to rest.
"Come on Chariot, our next stop is just round the corner, get ready because next Sunday you'll be performing if everything's all right" I nod.
My mum goes over to the driver's seat, sits down in the front and I just look around with Daniella, how much we can enjoy the journey, all the privacy, it's like we have a house of our own, there's so much space here that we can just enjoy every corner as much as possible.
My girlfriend sits down next to me and wraps her arms around me as she opens her laptop so that we can see how the social networks are, I think it's good to know the situation, at least I have someone close to me, I love this woman very much, who is always with me.
"Well, love, let's not get too worried about these nasty comments about you, after all I know that the real Shiny Chariot is here with me and she's doing her best" How sweet, but I really need to show that I'm the real one.
"It sucks, every time they give me quotes about how I'm the fake one, but this wave of fake Chariots only makes it worse, how am I going to prove I'm the real one in the midst of all the others?" I say to my girlfriend who consoles me.
"I know you'll make it, love, our performance now is going to be a success, I guarantee it?" I really want to hope so.
I even do everything nicely, everything right with the Shiny Chariot, the magic isn't so lacking, but I still get these heavy criticisms, they show me as if I'm not the real thing, but I am, sometimes I wonder if I should really have thrown the Croix away, if I'd just bowed my head to the Dream Fuel Spirit I'd be on a world tour again, maybe even going to continents I've never been to like Africa and South America, but I'm not going to think about that, she's stolen magic from everyone and it's a crime.
[...]
Sunday 10 August 2008, Cork, Ireland
I finish another performance and wow, I can see empty spaces in the middle of the audience on stage, I'm seeing it more often, people still clap for me and I smile in front of everyone and the curtains come and I'm even getting breathless and tired, it was a weight like that, I can even feel my hands shaking, not now... I haven't had a cigarette for months, don't go on like this again, body, for the nine witches.
"Chariot you were marvellous love, today's performance went very well, everyone loved it" The three people who came to watch me.
"I'm not doing well psychologically with this" I say, hugging her as she cries.
"Oh love... Are you feeling unwell? Your body's shaking, let's go to the bus and we'll help you feel better" said my girlfriend.
I'm getting back on the bus and I'm being looked after while I'm shaking, but I really feel like smoking and relieving the shaking, which gradually comes as a relief when I feel something sticking to me, I think it's nicotine patches, I look at my arm and that's it, my girlfriend's been putting it on and I've been crying.
"Oh Chariot, I know how you feel and how you feel when you're like this, don't worry, the next performance Mum said she's going to Belfast which is a bigger city and maybe with a bigger audience" I hope so.
"I'm just frustrated, these comments about me, people thinking I'm a fake, even though I'm the real one, they get to me a lot" I say, crying and then being consoled as I lie on my girlfriend's lap.
I just hope it turns out to be a success, I don't want to give up on being the Shiny Chariot, I want to be able to try, I want to bring smiles to people, I want to try, be it for one, be it for a million, I'm not going to give up, it's my dream, it can't just end like that, I've only got a small town, that's what I have to think about, when I pass through Belfast I'm sure Mum will be travelling with me in England and there'll be plenty of big cities for that.
[...]
Sunday 17 August 2008, Belfast, Northern Ireland
"Belfast had about the same number of people as went to the Dublin theatre, it wasn't encouraging at all, youcould see the grass of the place where we rented the stage and also the expense was starting to show, we
were losing a lot of money, we had already spent 600,000 euros so far just to prepare things for our traveltour, renting the places takes a bit too, I already had the idea in my head, that if I reached a million thingswould stop there, after all I didn't want to be sold out."
Sunday 24 August 2008, Glasgow, Scotland.
"The wave of fake Shiny Chariots reached stratospheric levels, we knew that Daryl had a hand in it and itwas affecting us because nobody believed that we were the real ones and it only got worse when it came topresenting, this time Glasgow was a slightly more attractive city, the biggest in Scotland, we managed topublicise it well and as close as we could get to it, as Edinburgh is a danger zone for mum Laura, so theperformance even gave us hope, we had over a thousand people watching, that was wonderful, but nothingcovered the costs and the internet was really thinking we were being fake witches."
Sunday 31 August 2008, London, England.
"It was the last show before the summer holidays ended and we lost the children's audience, at least a largepart of it, so we decided to spend big, without any fear, we rented a big theatre in London, with a capacity ofup to 5,000 people, we also made a point of announcing it with an air of grandeur, as a performance thatwould be bigger than Shiny Chariot, and we even risked giving the tickets away for free, and that's whatcaught a lot of attention, that's what gave me enormous hope, that people would stop being so suspicious,after all, we knew that Daryl's money isn't infinite, he can't keep getting in our way forever."
We really thought big on this one, I'm excited, look how huge this theatre is, even the dressing room is respectable, no one will even think I'm the fake, it's not enough what they said about us at the Cork, Belfast and Glasgow performances, now we're going to give them what they want, I'm really looking forward to seeing how the audience is, so much so that I asked Mum and Daniella not to say anything and leave the surprise.
"Are you ready for the final presentation, girl?" I nod my head.
"This place will really give the impression that the old Shiny Chariot still exists, I've already performed in a place like this in 2006 when I was still working with Alan, but I know it's very expensive, we took a big risk in spending on this one, but everything will pay off and no one will be suspicious" I say confidently.
"You risked everything to leave free love, I'd still charge a cheap ticket, but that was a kick in the bucket, I hope the strategy really works" It will, I want to see Daryl's face when he finds out I've proved I'm the real deal with this, almost two hundred thousand euros have been thrown away for this, it'll be worth every minute.
The two of them go off to get ready for the show, I'm also finishing my make-up, I look at myself in the mirror with a huge smile on my face, when you're in a dressing room it's a whole other scale of greatness, I'm very anxious to see how things are going, I'm going to give it my all, I know the audience will come.
Ready to go, I step out of the dressing room, take a deep breath and walk in style behind the curtains, where I wait for my theme to play and the effects to start appearing, now that's my cue, I grab my hat, float up to the stage and then I teleport with magic and when I reappear holding my own I can see for the first time in several performances, it's a full stand, everyone has really come to see me here.
"Reach out your hand and come into this marvellous world of magic!" I say to everyone who comes shouting my name.
The advertisement drawing children's attention to a free performance before school starts again has worked very well, look at all the children, accompanied by their parents, who still love Shiny Chariot, as I start to do dance moves, the audience goes wild, I'm doing it, I'm very much back, the animation is coming and the effects are accompanying it, the magic of Shiny Chariot is back for good, I'm even adding improvisation to the performance, demonstrating how connected I really am to the magic and how determined I am.
[...]
This performance was marvellous, the house was full, there were people in all the seats and even outside them, I never thought I would be able to perform so much like this, I get a huge smile, I knew it would cheer up the audience, I wave the closing and I just see claps, whistles, shouts for my name, simply everyone is loving what I did on stage, the rebirth of Shiny Chariot is here, the curtain comes down and I'm even relieved, this one tired me out, but I could see that it worked.
"Love, you were incredible, that performance was of the highest quality, you really gave it your all on that stage" said my girlfriend.
"I just wanted to show that I Shiny Chariot am back, but there's still one more thing to mark that I'm me" I say, leaving the stage and heading for the back.
I walk around the back to the entrance and there I sit on a chair and people shout out my name, I wouldn't be left with nothing if I didn't have some photos with the Shiny Chariot and wow how people queued, I charged very little for each one, just £20 for each photo and £50 to get it signed, by the nine witches and how it came round.
"Calm down, everyone stay in line, there'll be photos for everyone" I say happily.
They're shouting my name, getting very excited, so I'm waving to people, taking photos sitting right there at the table, while the security guard protects me, I wanted to take a big risk here to give the feedback I needed, so I know it's going to be the perfect campaign, soon I'll come out with much more of a reputation than I expected, I'm sure.
[...]
Sunday 7th September 2008, Birmingham, England
"Ah, I had no idea how they were going to leak it, but even at the London gig they leaked that I was wearinga brace, which they said they were fooled by a fake Shiny Chariot, but even so the dust didn't settle at theBirmingham gig, and I could see a full audience in the middle of the lawn, because it was already aperformance after the summer holidays, I saw the audience fill up, it was a lot of people, at least for theproportion of it, which was paying off at the time, but it wouldn't be long before the rumours spread about me,and you can imagine how it only gets worse."
Sunday 14 September 2008, Trafford, England
"Manchester was too expensive to rent, but the neighbouring city was good for that and that's where we drewa certain audience, but the decline has returned, I was noticing that the impacts of the London performancehad arrived, and everyone was already talking a lot about how I was the fake Shiny Chariot, so it looks likethings are going to start getting worse, plus the fact that the children were at school and with that theaudience decreased horrendously, at least the disaster of the day was relieved by the fact that it wasDaniella's birthday and she was turning nineteen that day."
Sunday 21 September 2008, Liverpool, England
"Another complete failure when it came to performing, I was losing and losing more audiences, you couldsee holes in the audiences and they were getting bigger and bigger, the scandal of the Shiny Chariot copieseven cooled down, but there were still a few showing up, but they were nowhere near the almost thirty theyhad at the peak, I took a chance, and I took a big chance, but the fact that the children were in class got inthe way, and at this point I decided to halve the price to see if it would work, but from the looks of things itdidn't seem to be working."
Sunday 28 September 2008, Glastonbury, England
"Our last attempt in England before leaving for France, to see if we'd get a crumb of attention, after all, ourreputation was already at an all-time low and it was shocking, the place has room for a lot of people, but Ionly saw a few Luna Nova students coming to see me and also a very isolated audience, there must nothave been even 200 people there to see me, But at least the Luna Nova students told me I was the realthing, the worst thing was that they kept pointing out the things we were wearing at the show, it even lookedlike Daryl was getting someone to sneak into the show and take photos to prove he was a fake, which wenever found, it was a complete disgrace."
Sunday 5th October 2008, Loperèc, France
"I knew there would be an audience in my hometown, but I was wrong, it was a very small performance, butit was worth it, I saw the smiles on the faces and it was the starting point of the performance that I decided tofocus the rest of the tour on being great in the lands where I spent time in France and lived, touring startingwith the two cities that I loved the most."
Sunday 23rd November 2008, Paris, France
"As I said, I did a tour of the cities I'd lived in and a few others in those weeks and I was most successful inAnnecy and Nice, as they knew me, but nothing compared to the explosion in London and even in thoseplaces the English audience seemed to be much bigger, I saw a lot of empty spots in the audience and Iknew I had to take a chance, this could be my last chance, I decided to spend one more time, a freeperformance at a theatre in Paris, it's not as big as the one in London, but I made a point of announcing thatthere would be everything and it would be special for the French public, I wanted to attract attention, I was asanxious as I would be in London, it was my chance, a free theatre performance and even with food this time Icouldn't go wrong, there would be free popcorn machines, I'm sure the children would like it."
I hope it works out, it's my last attempt, I can't give up, after that I'll try to go back home, we've been going back and forth for months and no results, I'm just spending money on everything, spending more and more and my money is running out, no sponsors, all this to see me as a mere copy.
"Shall we go, Chariot?" My mum asks.
"It's going to be the last one of the year, I'm really discouraged that we're going to keep travelling without results" I say to my mother, who looks worried.
"Oh girl, if you don't want to present today you don't have to, let's go home, there you'll stay with the girls, you'll be able to think of something to do and have a bit of fun, I can see how bad you've been, there are three nicotine patches on your arm" I'm fine, that was only temporary for now.
"This is just for now, I'm trying to control my anxiety mum" I say taking off the stickers and taking a deep breath, we're going to go there and we're going to rock it.
With that, my worried mum goes off to her seat, as does my girlfriend, I stay at my post on the stage, I'm getting ready for this, I take a deep breath and just wait, I have to give it my all if I want to show what I'm like at this show, come on Shiny Chariot, I listen to my theme, I know the audience is going to come out in force tonight, I know it, nobody can resist popcorn and free theatre.
When my cue goes off, I take a deep breath and face the stage and there are huge holes in the seats, I can just count how many people there are here, it's emptier than ever, but I still swallow and keep my spirits up.
"Your magic is believing in yourself!" I tell everyone and I continue to make my moves.
[...]
When I finished doing my steps, I was tired, I waved to everyone and what I saw was isolated clapping, and very dry clapping, it didn't look like anyone else liked me, or my show, I'm frustrated, but I keep smiling, which I let the curtain pass me by, frustrated and very sad I go crying to the dressing room, I didn't imagine it would be such a failure, in London there wasn't even free popcorn and yet everyone turned up in droves.
"Chariot?" My girlfriend said worriedly.
"I give up! I don't want to be Shiny Chariot anymore!" I tell everyone.
"Oh love, don't say something like that, we can still try again, you were marvellous on stage, remember what you said about bringing smiles to people?" I remember that, but it doesn't work anymore.
"Nobody cares about Shiny Chariot Daniella anymore, I'm just a temporary fad and today's performance revealed everything, nobody wanted to come even for free, I tried to be big, but I only ended up getting smaller, I think this will be the end of me as Shiny Chariot... I give up" I say crying and I see my mum coming and she hugs me.
"Oh my love, you're really unwell, I know how hard it must be to deal with this, but let's go home, let's rest, let's go back to the family and be together, then you'll think about it, OK?" My mum asks and I nod.
"I just want to go home Mum, I just want to be with you, my sisters, Megan, Aunt April, Daniella, I just don't want to do anything else" I say sobbing deeply.
"We're going home, child, we're going... I also miss my girls terribly, they can't stay so long without Mum, I'm going back and we'll be able to enjoy this holiday, then you can think about coming back if you want to" I don't want to lay a finger on a stage any more, I've had enough, I'm traumatised.
"I just want to stay at home and try my hand at something else, my dream of performing on stage isn't going to work, I'll try another way, it seems that my magic of believing in myself is over" I say tearfully.
I just give up, there must have been 150 people watching me today, in a theatre that fits a thousand, I thought I'd have a full house, there was all kinds of popcorn and crisps, even for free, that's every person's dream, I bet they didn't even come to the performance, they just came for the popcorn and crisps, I don't doubt anything, apparently I already know what they like the most and it's not Shiny Chariot.
"That was the end of Shiny Chariot, I never performed on stage again after that, I had given up in Paris, eventhen the news about me being fake continued, but I didn't perform anymore, and I didn't call anymore either,my career was over, so it was very much in the hole, people really thought it ended in 2007, when 2008 wasthe real end, in the end it was certain that I was more of a passing fad, both for me and for other people,Shiny Chariot was my experiment that failed."
"I almost went to one of those performances, but Anna said it was a fake Shiny Chariot, luckily I could havedied since I have the curse on me, it was really you and mum Laura there"
"I was the one who told Anna to tell you this, I didn't want to take the risk that you might feel bad, but it was avery tragic and sad end to the Chariot giving its all to bring a smile to people's faces, where we're gettingclose to the date of the actual disappearance and I think that what will happen from now on for thedisappearance to happen was a bit of my fault."
See you, believing heart witches...