XXXIX

Suddenly, Eleven turns off the TV.

"Henry," she murmurs thoughtfully. "I want… to ask you something."

She was taking her sweet time: after all, Joyce had already left a couple of hours ago. By her side, Henry closes his book and rests it on his lap, ready to give her his undivided attention. "Yes, Eleven?"

"It's…about what Mrs… Joyce… said to me today."

"I understand." He tries for his smile to be comforting. "What do you want to know?"

Eleven settles in to sit cross-legged on the couch. She doesn't look straight at him; Henry cannot really blame her.

"She said she wasn't going to mention anything… deep about what… bleeding… means to women. She just… She explained to me how to use the pads and how to… clean myself up."

"Aha." This information does not surprise him: it is what he and the shopkeeper had agreed upon from the beginning.

"And… at school they taught us it's… normal. That girls start with… this at some point."

"It is."

"But why? What for? That's what I don't get…"

Henry purses his lips. After a pause, he asks: "Do you remember, years ago, when I explained to you that our bodies are different?" He waits for her to nod before continuing. "Okay, that is related to this… A girl's body, as it matures, begins to produce, each month, a very special cell called an 'egg.' If the proper conditions are met, the egg can become an embryo, which will later be a fetus, and—"

"Embryo? Fetus?"

"A baby," Henry explains, as impersonally as he can manage. "Well, those are stages before the baby is fully formed and ready to be born. Now, if the conditions are not met, the woman's body discards everything it prepared to sustain the baby… And it does it through a monthly bleeding."

"But… what happens if the conditions are met?" Her face turns pale. "What if… this happens to me and…?"

Henry bites his lower lip to keep from laughing at her innocence. "Oh, no, Eleven; that is not an accidental process. Your body cannot create a baby on its own."

"It can't?" She cocks her head. "Then how…?"

After giving it some thought, Henry stands up. "Come with me; I need to show you something."

#

Once in the study, Eleven takes a seat at the desk while Henry examines his library.

"Hmm. Let's see… Ah, here it is." This time, he doesn't opt for a textbook, but for a human anatomy atlas. He places the tome in front of them both and, with a wave of his hand, pulls up another chair to take a seat next to the girl. "This may be a bit awkward, but be patient, alright?" he asks her softly.

Eleven nods, and Henry can see, from the way she looks at him without a shadow of a doubt, her absolute trust in him. Without further ado, he searches the index for the indicated page… and then opens the book at this position. "Look: this is what the bodies of an adult man and woman look like."

He patiently lets Eleven absorb the information. When she raises her head and he gets a glimpse of her confused expression, he decides to continue: "Just as a woman's body produces a specific cell, as I already mentioned—"

"The… egg, you said," she completes.

"Exactly," he smiles at her obvious interest. "Thus, the man's body produces a specific cell: the 'spermatozoid.' When the egg and the spermatozoid unite, they create a new being: one that will later be a baby and will be born within nine months."

As expected, Eleven's next question is completely logical: "But, if they are in two different bodies… how come they find each other?"

Unfortunately, that doesn't make it any easier of a question to answer. Henry takes a deep breath before speaking: "Through sexual intercourse. That is, this is possible when a man and a woman have sex."

Of course, this doesn't clear any of Eleven's doubts at all: her frown reminds him of it. Although he is aware of it, Henry needs to start somewhere.

"Sex…?"

"Yes. It's a… kind of intimate… connection… between two people. They are usually two people in a relationship, either married or not. Or… maybe not, if it's just for pleasure."

Henry winces at this last idea: he, particularly, finds sex revolting. However, after years of preparing for this moment, he has resolved that he must avoid instilling unnecessary fear in Eleven, which is why he tries to remain neutral in his explanation.

I don't want to be another Brenner, he thinks as a way to encourage himself.

"For pleasure? You mean… this feels good?" At Henry's 'uh-hu,' Eleven insists: "But what is it, exactly? How is it done?"

Henry looks down at the atlas; Eleven follows his gaze.

"The man inserts his penis into the woman's vagina," he unceremoniously describes.

Eleven's stunned look is extremely uncomfortable, but Henry refuses to be intimidated by a twelve-year-old. At least regarding something like this. However, after the initial discomfort has passed, Eleven's face is once again tinged with confusion.

"But… how?"

"How what?"

"It looks… very…" Eleven makes a face and tries to gesticulate the idea to him without success. "I don't get… how…"

He is not quite sure, but he assumes that she is referring to the soft aspect of the flaccid penis, so he decides to clarify this matter: "Well, when… two people are about to have sex, a lot of blood goes into the man's penis and makes it long and hard."

"Do you control it at will?" Eleven sounds genuinely admired; Henry tries hard not to burst out laughing.

"Erm… Not exactly," he admits, scratching his cheek slightly. "It's more like… Uhm… Oh, I know: you know that feeling when you're scared and feel like you can run faster, or when you get angry and feel like you become stronger?"

"Yeah…"

"Exactly. Well, that's not something you control at will, is it?" Eleven shakes her head. "This is something like that: the body knows what it needs at that moment and takes care of everything."

The girl nods, apparently satisfied with this explanation. Well, satisfied for at least two seconds, before once again asking: "But… doesn't it hurt? For the woman…"

Henry understands her concern, but the idea behind her question repulses him: he doesn't want to imagine Eleven in that situation, not at all, not to mention the complications of her being close enough to a person to have that kind of relationship with them.

He, after all, does not know how to share.

But I'm not Brenner. No, he's not Brenner and he won't ever be; therefore, he answers with the truth: "Maybe the first time. Just as the man's body prepares itself, so does the woman's: inside, her body releases special fluids that make penetration more comfortable. In other words, her body is lubricated."

"Like a door?" Eleven asks.

Henry chuckles: sure, that's where she knows the word from. "Yes, it makes everything move… better."

Eleven nods and once again looks at the atlas image carefully. Henry takes advantage of her apparent tranquility to finish his idea: "And when the man reaches his climax, he secretes a white liquid called 'semen': the spermatozoids that seek to unite with the egg are contained there. Of course, as I said before, this is if people want to have a baby; if that isn't the case, it's normal that special methods are used to prevent these two cells from meeting."

"Really?" This arouses her curiosity. "What are those?"

With the most difficult part of the talk out of the way, Henry relaxes as he moves on to this simpler topic: he tells her about condoms, about pills and other contraceptive methods. While he doesn't go into too much detail—he doesn't mean to overwhelm her with information—he does give her an overview of the most used ones. Eleven listens carefully.

"If you still have doubts, I can take you to a doctor one day so they can answer any other questions you may have," Henry concludes.

Eleven nods quietly, but he senses that her mind is miles away. "Is there anything else you want to ask me?"

Never in his life has he regretted a decision so quickly as in the next few seconds.

"Henry… have you ever… had sex with someone?"

The silence that ensues is, of course, extremely embarrassing.

With her, truth is the best policy, Henry struggles to remind himself.

"No," he confesses calmly. "I have never."

"But," Eleven starts back, and Henry does his best to hide his discomfort, "you're an adult. Then why—?"

"Because these kinds of things depend on each person," he offers her as an answer. "And I have never been interested."

Eleven absorbs his words carefully and finally mumbles: "I understand."

Henry sighs. It's not his intention to mislead her so, after thinking about it carefully, he decides to elaborate: "As I've told you, from the very beginning, I was… different. It stands to reason, if you think about it, that I've simply never been interested in connecting with others, be it in this or any other way.

"In your case… well, I don't expect you to make the same decisions I do in the future. If you want to… connect with other people in this way, it is your decision, and yours alone."

Of course, he's not going to forbid Eleven from interacting with other people. No, of course not.

However…

"There is only one thing I want you to keep in mind, Eleven." Her chocolate brown eyes are clear, without a trace of mistrust or doubt. This brings a smile to his lips as he takes her hands in his. "Any connection you may have with other people… is secondary to the one we two share.

"You and I… we are alike, remember?"

Henry notes the almost imperceptible way the girl's hands squeezes his in response.

"Yes." She smiles at him, and Henry feels all the tension accumulated after such a delicate conversation leaving his body. "You and me."

Just this: you and me.

Slowly, Eleven moves closer to him and places her cheek against his chest, right over his heart. Without even thinking, Henry rests his chin on her head and closes his eyes, enjoying their closeness.

I do not need anything else.