Chapter 2: Sibling Rivalry
Note: The first person narratives are part of Sidious's thoughts as he remembers his past life...
My first year of life was perhaps the happiest year of my existence. Happiness is a farce, and although I remember most of it, it was nothing special. Cosinga appeased my mother that first year, I'm sure.
While I was weak physically she was weak mentally. Broken even by my father's violent reaction to my arrival. Did Cosinga feel guilty for her treatment of him? No, he wasn't worried about his wife's submissive attitude.
Cosinga tried to involve me in father-son activities. He was drawn to me reluctantly in the absence of other options. At least, until the birth of my siblings, a pair of twins, a boy and a girl. They arrived that year at a fortuitous time. I think my father was beginning to believe his own lies and investing in me, the fool, to wait for that heir that he wanted so much. I shudder to think what I might have become under his tutelage. Sidious thought with contempt.
81 BBY
Palpatine sat on his mother's lap chewing on a small stuffed toy, Tooke, and rested his head on Bremé's chest.
He was pressed against his little brothers, who were curled up inside his mother's swollen belly.
Bremé covered them both with a blanket and said "What's wrong? Why are you up so late, my little one?"
Palpatine blinked and then buried his face in his shoulder, biting harder on baby Tooke's ear.
"Was it a bad dream?" his mother said, running her fingers through her curls. When Palpatine didn't move, he felt the slow sway of the chair begin and his mother's soft voice begin to sing.
"Silence now my son
my own little
Sleep in the moonlight
The sun will return soon
And when it dawns
My sweet baby, you will wake up
Year after year
I'll be right here
One day you will be a man
Firm, solid and free
And even if the cradle falls
"I will stay here by your side."
Palpatine's eyes were growing heavy and he felt himself being lifted into the air and carried down the hallway to his room that would soon no longer be his.
To be one of his brothers who would take his place, something that Cosinga had made clear.
The little boy began to moan, even when his head hit the pillow. Bremé covered herself with the blankets and sat on his cheek, placing his toy next to him.
"Silence now my son
my own little
My gift from above
My little love."
Bremé stayed with his son until he fell asleep, until he felt safe, until he felt...loved.
It was the time of innocence, long before the arrival of Hego Damask, long before the Dark Side had twisted my mind, long before I became Darth Sidious, long before I considered plans to dominate the galaxy...and long before he executed them, resulting in the deaths of thousands across the galaxy.
But that time of innocence... that was before my mother became weak, before she became a pawn, before Cosinga sucked the light out of her, leaving her trembling... until the day she died. Sidious reflected before continuing to remember.
"Sheev! What are you chewing on now, boy?" Cosinga caught up with her son, who was walking quickly, picked him up, turned him around, and grabbed the drool-soaked datapad.
Her son held him in her teeth, his bright pale blue eyes laughing at her father. Cosinga spread his jaws and removed the sticky mass, realizing, to his frustration, that it was his political planner.
He looked at his son with a frown. "Incorrigible child!"
Sheev smiled at him. He was barely a year and a half old and moved quickly and carried himself with a confidence that his fragile frame still lacked, which meant that Cosinga and Bremé had to untangle him from countless messes around the manor house.
Although the boy's movements were clumsy and he barely spoke, his few words were abnormally articulate and sharp for his age, impressing visitors who came to his house and met him.
Throughout the process Sheev watched and studied the adults, his eyes blazing with some secret delight. This made Cosinga nervous, but Bremé was very proud of her son's obvious intelligence.
She had begun trying to show him the Nubian alphabet, though Cosinga scoffed because the boy could barely hold a writing instrument, let alone hold it steady, watching Sheev as the boy sat on his mother's lap and stared at the holobooks. of the children, and Cosinga had the impression that his son knew more than he let on.
In a way, he was also proud of her son's progress. Their relationship had softened into an unstable mutual truce. Thanks to fate, the boy's eyes became normal again even though he looked like his mother and not Cosinga.
Bremé's gaze had been something to fall in love with, a haughty coldness that well suited the wife of an aristocrat. But on Sheev, the gaze became calculating and icy, sometimes trapping even his father in a dark sense of foreboding.
Now those eyes were fixed on him, waiting to see Cosinga's reaction to the stolen datapad. Cosinga simply grunted and put the agenda on a higher shelf. He then moved to his favorite chair and leaned back with his portable holonet display. Ah, Bon Tapalo was making another visit to a nursing home, the benevolent man... Cosinga chuckled at the sight of so many holonet camera droids crowded into the small room. The opportunistic impostor, rather.
From the corner of his eye, he saw Sheev silently approaching. Cosinga stood still and waited, curious. Usually the boy never approached his father, preferring to let Cosinga get closer to him, but now he was a meter away from the padded chair and getting even closer. The nobleman held his breath. Maybe there was hope after all.
Sheev raised a bony, delicate hand and rested it on the arm of the chair. "Father..." his voice was soft, fine, as fragile as his body, with a curious little child's expression. "Portent?"
"What?" Cosinga was startled. Of course it was important, the boy's nerve! He was about to order Sheev to leave when he realized that his son was now looking at the hidden agenda.
Cosinga relaxed. "Yes, it was important, but I'll buy another one. Anyway, I never
like a lot"
"Buy?" Sheev tilted her head on his thin neck.
Cosinga sighed. "Replace," he growled, using the word he used to use when he trained Sheev to pick up waste from him.
Then Sheev slowly turned and left the room, and Cosinga breathed a sigh of relief. Before Sheev started to speak, he hadn't cared that much about the boy.
In fact, when he cared for the silent baby for the first few months, Cosinga could almost convince himself that his family was normal. He would have a son who would follow in his footsteps, who would go to the games, who would grow up to be a strong man. He spent hours with the boy teaching him to move, crawl and walk.
He congratulated himself on being a big part of early mobility as a child. But Sheev didn't gain much in height or weight. Cosinga was concerned about his stunted growth, perhaps another rare mutation. During the entire first year he prayed daily to destiny that this too will pass soon.
At least Sheev was pretty self-sufficient. He never cried. He didn't intentionally throw himself into reckless danger like babies often do. He didn't stick his fingers in power outlets or chew on Holonet cables. No, the damage he caused was mostly accidental and the product of uncoordinated movement, not idiocy.
But Cosinga wondered if having an intelligent son was a good thing, because even at that age, Sheev was beginning to show signs of having his own mind and ideas.
He occasionally ignored Cosinga's orders, and Cosinga hated him. It irritated him that his own son and heir would challenge him as he did, just as he had done to the planner moments ago.
The upset father called Bremé to pick up Sheev and take him to her room, a task she performed quickly and without complaint.
Bremé entered the family room at that moment, her beautiful face turning from side to side in search of her son.
Cosinga looked at her intently. "She left. She just tore my schedule to pieces."
Her eyes widened in alarm. "Are you?"
"I didn't hit him, if that's what scares you," Cosinga murmured. "Why does he do this to me? He doesn't treat you like that. I think he does it on purpose, challenging me."
"Perhaps.." Bremé hesitated, then lunged forward. "Perhaps if you spent more time with him like you did before, and treated him kindly..." She shuddered at the fierce look Cosinga gave her.
"He doesn't need kindness! "He needs discipline!" Cosinga retorts, "You spoil him too much." Ella saw the bright edge of a tear forming in Bremé's left eye and felt a pang of guilt.
"But I guess that should be understood. You are a woman and he is your only son." He stood up and crossed the room to stand in front of her, taking her slender hands and placing them on her thick abdomen. "But this won't last. The children you have now will train you to be a better mother. They will be perfect where Sheev has failed us. "I'm sorry he was the firstborn, but we can work it out." He watched her blink back the moisture and sighed. "Stop," Cosinga asked.
Her lips hardened. "Yes, Cosinga. I'm sorry. I'll try to be a better wife and mother."
As he held her in his arms, he missed the single tear that slid down her porcelain cheekbone.
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Bremé discovered that the twins' birth was much easier than Sheev's. She barely felt the pain as the pair slid off her body, then she looked into the matching eyes of her eldest son and was mesmerized, frozen in place like a baby shaak frozen by a veermock that She waits. He always had that effect on her, Sheev stared at her throughout the delivery from her spot next to her bed.
Cosinga lurked beyond, in the waiting room, with high hopes once again in light of new beginnings. She had wanted Sheev removed, but Bremé had begged in her delirium that she not do it and her husband agreed. A rare blessing, no doubt.
Her son waited faithfully at her side, clinging to the bed to support her small, heavy body, but she felt a turbulence in her body, a dark regret that she understood very well.
Sheev feared the arrival of her brother and his sister. Although he was not yet two years old, he knew of his father's impatience for this moment and was unsure of his own future.
An hour later, when the newborns were cleaned and placed side by side in transparent cribs in the corner of the room, Bremé demanded to see their faces. She struggled to sit up as two medical droids introduced the children. Beside her, her eldest son waited and gently intertwined her fingers in his knee-length dress.
Bremé's relief was incomparable as she looked down. Two beautiful, normal human faces were reflected in her. She could see the rich brown of Cosinga's eyes, the soft curves of her own nose, the unfocused, newborn confusion as they yawned and lay contented in the warm blankets. Cosinga would have no cause for concern or complaint this time. The children were perfect, Perfect. "Perfect," she whispered.
Sheev looked at her confused. Bremé instantly felt the sting of guilt that swept away her joy. "You are perfect too, my son," she added hastily. "These are your brothers. Your father chose their names at the ceremony last month. Do you remember?"
Sheev nodded slowly. "Maree. Nadmé."
"Yes," she smiled at the two now sleeping forms. "Your father will be very pleased." Sheev looked decidedly displeased.
She ignored the small frown of contempt and dismissed the droid doctors, who placed the sleeping children in the cribs. Bremé called the nurse and asked them to inform Cosinga of the children's arrival. "Tell him he won't feel
"Disappointed," she whispered to the nurse as she watched Sheev study the children.
Her son was curious about the two, observing every feature of the twins in the cribs. From time to time, his cold gaze would move from them to himself and then back, pondering some carefully guarded thought.
When Cosinga arrived, he was truly pleased and his hawklike face took on a glow of satisfaction. He even leaned down and passed her lips over Bremé's in a chaste and warm greeting.
Bremé felt her tension leave her and her joy fill her at his acceptance. Maybe everything would be okay now, the noble crossed the room towards the children, bent down and reached for the male, Maree.
"Maree 'Correction' Yes, right" he boomed and laughed at the boy's blank stare. "My son."
Bremé shuddered when she saw Sheev right below her, staring coldly at the baby as Cosinga replaced him and took the new daughter from her. "Nadmé 'beautiful heart' You have an apt name, because your beauty could exceed that of your own mother." Her husband looked at Bremé and laughed again.
Bremé glowed with unusual happiness at her husband's teasing and blushed at her when he joined her in her bed. The nurse smiled at the peaceful scene, and ruffled the red hair of her eldest son who ignored her and left the small room.
Sheev stood by the crib and looked through the transparent sides at his two brothers. His eyes narrowed thoughtfully. He then turned to his father who was still hugging his wife. "Portant?" he asked her softly.
Bremé watched her husband fill with genuine pride as he slid out of bed and approached his children, cautious and vigilant. "Yes of course!" Cosinga boomed "Immensely important and you should be careful!"
Sheev placed a thin palm against the glass. "Important purchase," he murmured.
"What are you talking about now?" Cosinga snapped. "Speak or shut up."
Bremé shuddered. Sheev moved, as if to look at her father again. His face reflected an unusually frank and apprehensive fear. "Replace?" he touched the chest of his and directed his gaze towards her mother.
Bremé felt her mouth go dry in an instant. No! she wanted to cry. I will never replace you. But she feared her husband and that's why she kept silent.
Cosinga stared before her lips formed a deep grimace. "Replace you? No. But listen to me. These are your brother and sister, and you will give them the respect they deserve, understand? Or you will want them to replace you" she threatened.
The fear on Sheev's face dissolved into stony indifference. Bremé looked at her son's empty face and despaired. She feared he had already been replaced. She feared that she would soon not care about him. And she feared... no, she knew she was too weak to help him.
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Cosinga cooed at Maree's face and watched with pleasure as the baby smiled back at her. Now, this was a son, a connection of wills and purposes between generations.
Maree had a powerful build even when he was a newborn, with thick limbs and broad shoulders. There was no mistrust in her eyes that matched his, just a natural, warm, intelligent joy.
Maree cried and Cosinga came to him. Midnight, broad day, she made no difference. When she wasn't busy with his political duties and sometimes when she was, she was there for her son, a medical droid complete with a bottle behind him. Cosinga assumed that the servants could have taken care of everything.
After all, he was a busy man, but Cosinga also felt that he had a new chance in life. Maree didn't study him with condescension or anger. She did not deliberately try to distance herself from, avoid, or avoid her father. Sheev and Maree couldn't have been more opposite. Nadmé was also a blessing, granted. Even when she was a child, she was a beautiful mix of her mother and himself. She would be stunning when she grew up, and he was sure that a carefully chosen marriage would bring him important benefits.
She was also calm and elegant traits that Cosinga considered essential for the women of her household. But Maree was the son she had been looking for for a long time, ever since the shock of seeing her firstborn.
Speaking of the boy, there he was, lurking in the nursery door, darkly clad body blending into the cold stone structure behind him, red hair glowing faintly in the light of the room.
Cosinga turned completely towards him, with Maree cradled in her arms.
"Why are you out of bed, boy?" he demanded.
Sheev silently entered the room, without fear. "See Maree."
"Her brother?" Cosinga was suspicious. Sheev rarely showed interest in other people. The few times he had interacted with children had resulted in an isolation from Sheev's own choice. But the boy ignored his demand for clarification and just approached.
"I want to see it."
"Just for a moment," Cosinga relented, as his eldest son seemed innocent enough tonight. He sank into one of the overstuffed chairs and lowered the little baby to Sheev's height.
Maree smiled at the older boy but Sheev stared back without smiling. He never smiled, Cosinga grumbled to himself, unless he was enjoying some humiliation from his father and when he was next to his mother Bremé who caressed and tended to him.
"Maree?" The soft question startled her father. Cosinga looked closely at Sheev and noticed that the boy had acquired one of his characteristics of disturbing, intense and relentless deep concentration.
Cosinga brushed aside her discomfort when the rare opportunity arose to lecture his her son "Maree means correction. We Naboo choose names for our children very carefully. A name contains the hopes and dreams of the parent, and the child must do everything possible to live up to it."
Sheev perked up at that. "And my name?" Cosinga lived an unusual moment of sweetness. "Sheev means palace. You had great potential. At one time I had high hopes for your future, boy."
Sheev smiled suddenly, a slight crooked smile, and an embarrassed, furious anger coursed through Cosinga's body. His eldest son dared to mock him even now! After everything he had done! He stood up abruptly and handed Maree to the nursing droid and grabbed Sheev's thin arm, ignoring the short glare from his eldest son and pulling him toward the hallway.
When he saw Sheev's personal child droid, floating just outside the room and looking almost embarrassed by the way his claws were twisting, Cosinga shoved his son into his arms. Sheev stood up and sat there with practiced ease as he looked at his father with an unfathomable expression. No anger, no fear, nothing a normal child should have, just an empty conscience that continued to mock his father.
Cosinga, uncomfortable and impatient to return to Maree, only whispered, "Go to bed. And try to stay out of trouble, if you can."
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Palpatine was sleeping but he was restless in the crib, he heard a distant sinister voice...
Don't you realize? That pair of intruders, especially that Maree guy, wants to take all your things and all your toys.
I don't like that brat and I know you don't either... I feel your feelings Palpatine, you have contempt, fear and sadness. But above all you have anger, but you don't use it...
You are afraid of yourself, of your true nature... That Maree is going to take everything from you, including the love and affection of your beloved mother.
Little Palpatine was crying in his crib, he didn't like hearing that voice, she felt dark and cold… it scared him.
When I was still little I admit that I was afraid of myself like everyone else, afraid of hurting others... and afraid of the power that grew inside me as the years went by... afraid of showing my true nature.
That sinister voice in my mind that whispered to me sometimes, for a long time I believed it was my imagination or that it was the voice of the dark side. But now I know, it was me... it was just me, the voice of Sidious that back then was only the darkness that slept within my soul.