Judy: I hope you're well. I forgot that i uploaded this to edit and then totally forgot. I'm so sorry! Please, enjoy.

Chapter 11

It was a couple days after the Hanged Man and nothing much interesting had happened. Merrill had had an intimate moment with Hawke that sent her breathless but that was as far as it went. Today, Isabela had popped over for a visit though it was proving to be a quieter one than usual. Merrill tapped the table and looked at Isabela. 'She's been off all day, I'm worried 'bout her,' she says as she motions towards the bedroom where her door was shut and presumably Mena was inside.

'Is it... her time of the month? The attack of the dragon?' Isabela asked as she sips the spiked tea that Merrill had made her. Well, Merrill made her the tea, Isabela spiked it for taste.

'Nae, though thankfully it be happenin' more regularly now. Anders said now she be eating better her body was gonna start to regulate. Means she be gettin' healthier,' Merrill replied, tilting her head and sighing heavily. 'I tried to ask but she nae tell me. Almost like she be embarrassed.'

Isabela raises a brow and stands up, walking over to Merrill's room despite her protests. She simply opens the door and discovers a quilt pile that Mena was presumably hiding under. With a lunge forward and a harsh grab she yanked the cover away and throws it to the side. 'What's up, pussycat?' Isabela asks brightly with a grin.

Mena flinches and shakes her head. 'No. No, up. Mena, fine!' She said in a high trill trying to hide whatever it was in her hands under the pillow. Isabela made note that it seemed to be something that Mena didn't want them to see, and made plans to find out what it was.

'Merrill said that you've been hiding all morning. What's goin' on and why you acting weird...er than usual?' Isabela asked as she leans against the door frame and ignores Merrill who was trying to get her to leave Mena alone. The pirate simply used a hand to keep Merrill away, placed on the elf's forehead as she casually sipped her tea.

Mena's face flushed red and she shakes her head. 'No. No, wrong,' she babbles.

Isabela raises a brow and notices that Mena was subconsciously biting her lip and that her blush could set fires. 'Oh, Andraste's virgin ass, you have a crush!' Isabela squealed in delight, almost slopping her tea everywhere. 'An actual crush!'

'A crush? ... She likes someone?' Merrill repeated, finally allowed to enter the room. 'Is that what this is about? Ya like someone? Who is it?'

Mena shakes her head and backs up the bed as her friends come closer and sit on the edge. 'No! No, crush. I not hurt anyone!'

'Awww, Mena... you have absolutely no idea, do you?' Isabela smirked as she shares a look with Merrill. 'Who is it? Who do you like? Like, want to do things to? Who is making that heart race and your pussy tingle?' Isabela asked as she crossed her legs. She raised her eyebrows suggestively, making Mena feel incredibly worried about what it was the pirate was suggesting.

'We have no cat,' Mena replied, with narrowed eyes.

Isabela groaned in defeat and gives Merrill a pleading look of help. 'There is someone you're thinking of, aye?' Merrill asked and Mena nodded; her blush came back in full force. 'You're gettin' strange feelings an' desires, aye? When ya think of them?' Merrill said walking her step by step through it.

Mena agrees once more, her body language seeming reluctant and she pulls an embarrassed face. 'Okay, so who is it?' Isabela asked, bluntly.

Mena shook her head, desperately. 'No! I no say. It bad,' she mumbled, covering her face with her hands.

'Why do ya think it's bad, lethallan?' Merrill asks as she strokes Mena's hair. 'It's okay ta have physical feelin's towards someone. I ken it's scary when ya feel it fer the first time but it gets easier-' While Merrill was speaking some reassurance to Mena, Isabela had slid her hand underneath the pillow to see what she had hidden. Isabela pulls it out with a flourish.

'Oh, it's a flower-' She said before Mena snatched it out her hand. 'Who's given you a flower?' The pirate says as she tries to think as to whom the flower could refer to.

Mena held the flower carefully in her fingers while trying to cover her face with her other hand, and avoid this entire conversation. 'Is just one of the flowers that grow on the tree in the Alienage,' Merrill supplies, 'they're beautiful but ya generally cannae get one until they fall down. Mena picks them fer the younger children and plaits them into their hair...' her voice dwindles as she realises who it is. 'Oh no,' Merrill mumbled.

'What? What? Who is it? What have you worked out?!' Isabela asks excitedly. Mena grabs what's left of Isabela's tea and downs it like a shot as she tries to take away the furious blushing and embarrassment. 'Plaits a flower into their hair?' Isabela repeated the last thing that Merrill said and the answer hits her. 'Oh. My... No way! No way! Fenris? You have a crush on Fenris?!' She squealed.

Mena's face morphs into pure fear and she looks inside the teacup, it tasted strange and there was a subsidiary heat that wasn't from the hot water. 'More,' she says in a croak as she clears her throat. 'Need more,' she repeated, wagging the mug at Isabela.

'Oh, sweetpea, take the lot,' she giggled. Isabela pulls out a flask and unscrews the top, handing it to Mena. 'Small gulps- Woah, you'll make yourself sick!' She said as she had to stop Mena from just inhaling the rum that was inside. 'Why is having a crush on Fenris, bad? I mean, I would. Well, I kinda do. That body? That voice? Maker, the thought of him glistening... you know for a fact that those hands have strength in them. Having him pin you against a wall and just having his way-' Isabela paused as Merrill's and Mena's face had a bright flush to them. 'I mean, I'm just saying,' Isabela giggled.

'Aye, well now me mind be imaginin' things,' Merrill groaned as she rolls her eyes, her attraction may be towards Hawke but she could appreciate the … appeal towards the Tevinter elf.

Isabela laughs and rolls her eyes as she gives Merrill a nudge with her elbow, 'okay, back to the matter at hand, why is having feelings towards him a bad thing, Mena?'

Mena cleared her throat and shook her head from the sudden rush of the alcohol. 'It means I will kill him!' Mena wailed and her face scrunches up and tears brim in her eyes. 'I see it before. In caves, when female want male they join an' then, then the female kill him an'... an' then some females eat them! Eat them! I dinnae wanna kill Fenris! I like Fenris. Fenris, falon! Merrill goin' kill Hawke but Hawke happy about it, so, I not interfere. I like Hawke but not in body way an' if that what lethallan wants then I not stand in way. I dinnae want kill Fenris!' She bawled.

Merrill and Isabela share a look with each other. It would be funny if Mena wasn't being serious. 'Oh... okay... Mena, we need to have an actual talk about this,' Isabela winces. 'Should we get Anders?' She whispers to Merrill.

'Nae, y'know he disnae get on with Fenris an' he'll just chastise her without realisin', meybbe we should grab Aveline though, she's been married,' Merrill replies. Mena sips from the flask again and sniffs heavily.

Isabela nods, 'I'll be a bit, just get her to calm down,' she suggests as she stands up, it would be easy enough to find Aveline and when she explains the reason that she needed her she was sure that the guard would have no complaints coming to the Alienage. It was about half an hour later when the pirate returned with Aveline in tow, she had been given a brief rundown and was intrigued to say the least. Merrill had managed to get Mena into the main room and she was sitting on the kitchen side, cross-legged and a little giggly from the rum.

'Aveline!' Merrill says happily as she comes in. 'I be glad ya came.'

'I bet, from what the slattern told me, it's... awkward,' she muses as she looks over at Mena. 'What have you told her so far?'

'I havnae really. I did say that he nae have ta die... but then she asked me what I was plannin' with Hawke-'

'And you got all shy and stopped talking?' Aveline guessed. Merrill's face said it all as she looked at the woman. 'I see, okay, let's get down to brass tax,' she shrugs a shoulder as she walks over to Mena. 'Hey, you okay?'

Mena sniffs and nods. 'Aveen,' she says happily.

'So what I've gathered is that you have an attraction to Fenris, yes?' She asks getting a nod, 'and you now think that you're going to have to kill him?' Another nod. Aveline pulls up a chair and smiles softly. 'No, no, Mena. You don't kill him. When a man and a woman like each other and are physical together afterwards... there's many things that can happen but you don't need to kill him.'

'What happen after? How man and woman physical?' Mena questions intrigued.

Isabela chuckles and digs her elbow into Aveline's ribs. Aveline gives Isabela the finger, 'okay, so-' Aveline spends the next hour talking to Mena about the complexities of a relationship, emotional and physical aspects. It took longer than needed as Merrill and Isabela kept chiming in with helpful notes that were only confusing Mena further. Mena finished the flask of rum and looked inside wanting more. That was a lot of information in a short time and she wasn't sure how she felt about it all. Or that she even understood all of it.

'So, what are you gonna do? Jump him?' Isabela asked Mena. Her face stiffened and she shakes her head frantically as she uses her hands to cover her eyes. Thoughts were racing through her mind and she was confused about it all. Embarrassed to say the least and wanted these feelings to just disappear.

'What? No! She can't act on these feelings,' Aveline hisses at the pirate. She grabs Isabela by the arm and drags her into the side room. 'Are you insane? There's no way either of them are in the right mental space to be thinking about sleeping with each other!'

'What's wrong with it? It might help them both,' Isabela retorts as she looks at her nails and picks a little bit of grit out from under one of them. Aveline breathes in deeply and has to refrain from clonking the woman's head against the doorframe.

'She has the mental age of a teenager! We've literally just spend the last hour explaining that she doesn't need to kill and eat him after she sleeps with him! Her whole sexual education was learned from deepstalkers, spiders and darkspawn! You daft tart!' Aveline rolls her eyes.

'Alright, alright, there's no need to be a harpy about it. I'm just suggesting- I know, I get where you're coming from. Calm your tits,' Isabela says poking her in the breastplate and making Aveline grunt in disgust. 'Maker, learn to lighten up, I was joking. I know that it's not a possible thing. Maybe I should... break him in,' she grins. Aveline gives a look and then realises that she's joking. Or at least, half joking. They both walk back into the kitchen where Mena was talking to Merrill about Hawke. Distracted by Isabela, Mena jumps over to her looking for more alcohol and Aveline takes the chance to talk to Merrill.

The Dalish elf looks at her with worry, 'what's wrong? What did you talk to Isabela about?'

She gives her a brief rundown of what passed, they could hear Isabela giggling in the background as Mena pestered her. 'We have to tell Fenris about this,' Aveline adds in a murmur.

Merrill's face pales and she shakes her head, 'dread wolf, surely not?' She winces. 'I dinnae think he's goin' to like the idea.'

'It's not that, it's just that you know what Isabela is like. If Varric catches wind then they'll both be trying to 'make something happen,' and you and I both know it's not right, for either of them. If he's aware of her feelings he can at least... be prepared for any weirdness from Mena and the shit that Varric and Isabela are going to no doubt throw his way,' she explains. Merrill pulls a face but nods, agreeing with her. It wasn't a conversation that she wanted to have but Aveline made perfect sense.

Merrill's chance to talk to him happened later on that evening. She had been invited out on an expedition to the coast, searching for some type of flower or something before going into the mountains. Mena was staying with Aveline for the night and she promised to be on her best behaviour. Merrill was dragging behind at the back of the party when Hawke motioned for everyone else to go on ahead while he spoke to her. 'Merrill, everything okay? You've been pretty quiet,' he inquires.

'Um, not really. Can ya keep a secret?' Merrill asks as they walk along the coastal path.

'For you? Of course I can,' he teases making her smile a little. She bit her nail as she thought about how to phrase what she wanted to say.

'I have to speak to Fenris 'bout something... embarrassin',' Merrill sighs. 'Mena discovered that she has... feelin's towards him an' I don't want any awkwardness,' she mumbles. 'Neither of them are ready fer any sorta fling or thing between them. If he knows about it, it'll be easier,' she basically repeated what Aveline had said to her.

Hawke stared at her with an incredulous look. 'Well of all the things that you could have told me, that wasn't one of them. Hey, why don't you let me talk to him for you? I'll be gentle and tactful,' he suggests. Merrill perks up, it was almost like cheating but if she didn't have to talk to him then she was more than willing to let Hawke handle it. 'I'll wait until tomorrow. We're going up the mountains tonight and I don't know how it's going to go, he's tense enough already.'

Merrill nods and reaches out for Hawke's hand, taking his fingers in hers gently. He pauses and smiles at her, 'we dinnae talk about the other night,' Merrill mumbles as they walk.

'I didn't want you to feel pressured or anything, I know we both had a lot to drink,' Hawke says softly as he holds her hand in his carefully. 'If I can be so bold, I don't regret it,' he teases making her giggle.

'Neither do I. I really liked the kiss, I jus' be hopin' that it wasnae just a kiss and perhaps there be somethin' more between us?' Merrill asks wearing her heart on her sleeve. Garrett comes to a stop and pulls her to a halt. The others had continued around the corner and so they had a little privacy for the time being.

'Merrill, I like you. A lot. I always have. If this is something you want with me then I won't complain,' he smiles as he strokes her cheek turning her to face him. 'Is this something that you want?' Hawke inquires as he brushes a little of her hair behind her ear. Merrill's face flushes a light pink as she nods and avoids his gaze. Hawke's heart lightens in his chest as the elation runs through him. Softly he leans down and catches her lips with hers, a sweet motion that made them both smile. 'Thank Andraste, for that,' he teases making her giggle. 'Come on, let's catch up before they come looking for us.'

Be well. Stay safe.