A/N: Brief mentions of self-harm, but no detailed depictions.
Instead of scrambling to get into Olivia's arms, Grace scrambled to get out of them as she screamed and sobbed, having wet herself in her agitation and fearful of the consequences of having done so. The young submissive fell off the bed onto the floor and curled up in a ball against the wall. Olivia realized that Grace was still stuck in her nightmare and wasn't truly with her, and proceeded with caution.
"Grace Elizabeth," Olivia's voice was calm and not the least bit stern, but she hoped that the use of Grace's middle name would bring her back, "I want you to raise your left hand when you can hear me." Olivia repeated her words every five seconds or so, keeping a respectful distance from Grace.
Grace screamed until her throat was too sore to scream any longer and she was merely sobbing as she remained curled up against the wall. Eventually, she heard a familiar voice. She couldn't figure out where it was coming from, but she knew that voice and she wanted the person connected to it. Finally, Olivia's voice fully registered in Grace's mind; she understood what was being asked of her and she obediently raised her left hand, though she was still curled up in a ball.
"That's my good girl. You come to me when you're ready, baby. I'm right here." Olivia said.
"Wet." Grace sobbed fearfully.
"I know, baby. As soon as you're ready, we will go into the bathroom together and I will help you get cleaned up and changed into a new pair of pajamas, and then we can go back to bed." Olivia explained.
"I'm not allowed to sleep in your bed." Grace sobbed.
"You are absolutely allowed to sleep in my bed. That is just as much your bed as it is mine. This apartment is just as much your home as it is mine." Olivia countered.
It took a while of gentle coaxing, but eventually the sound of Grace's crying changed, and Olivia took it as a good sign that Grace was coming back to her. Finally, Grace heaved a deep breath and picked her head up, nearly expecting to be back in Melissa Steele's dungeon, but instead she was greeted by Olivia's loving, concerned face.
"Ma'am!" the young submissive choked on a relieved gasp as she quickly moved into Olivia's arms, and Olivia immediately welcomed her.
"Oh, my precious one. Let's go get you cleaned up, my baby." Olivia gently guided Grace up to her feet and into the bathroom where she gently helped her clean up and put on a new pair of pajamas, "There, nice and cozy. Let's go back to bed, little one. And where are you going to sleep?"
"At the foot of our bed." Grace smiled tiredly.
"That's my good girl." Olivia praised. She lovingly tapped Grace on the nose and then she led Grace back into the bedroom where she guided her to curl up comfortably at the foot of the bed. Olivia gently rubbed Grace's bottom until she was certain that Grace had fallen into a deep, peaceful sleep, and then she went back to bed herself.
A few days later, Grace was in her session with Dr. Olivet, with Olivia sitting nearby while Grace sat at a table putting together a puzzle. When Dr. Olivet asked about the scar on her wrist, Grace once again lied and said that she had accidentally cut herself while chopping tomatoes in the kitchen. Dr. Olivet didn't quite believe her, but said nothing to contradict Grace's story, having no proof to back her up. Neither Dr. Olivet nor Olivia were aware that Grace's arm above her wrist was now sporting a similar scar, as well as a scar on her leg. Grace had stopped letting Olivia bathe her, instead preferring to shower by herself, and cut if she needed to. If she was being honest, Grace missed the simple but powerful ritual of being bathed by her Mistress, but she couldn't risk anyone seeing her scars, and luckily it was still cold outside so no one questioned Grace's choice to wear long-sleeved shirts and hoodies. Grace hadn't yet considered what she would do when the weather eventually changed and it would be too hot to wear long sleeves, but she would cross that bridge when she came to it. Grace was still on obedience training at home, and still occasionally received five spanks of the wooden spoon to her naughty bottom, but Olivia delivered these spanks over her pants. Grace would just have to be careful not to do anything that would earn her a bare bottom spanking. If Olivia pulled her pants down, she was sure to see the scar on Grace's leg and her secret would be out, her control gone. Grace had received a few rewards over the days for good behavior, but they were all non-sexual rewards, so therefore she had no reason to have to be naked in front of Olivia. The closest she had come to being naked in front of Olivia was when Olivia had lifted her shirt to reward her with a tickle session. After Grace's attack by Dr. Lindstrom, Olivia wasn't insisting on any sexual training at all, and she wasn't going to until Grace told her she was ready to resume that part of her training.
"How was your week, Grace?" Dr. Olivet asked once Grace was immersed in her puzzle.
"It was fine. I've been on obedience training, so it feels like I've been busy when I really haven't been that busy." Grace replied.
"What does obedience training look like in your home?"
"My Ma'am keeps the wooden spoon with her at all times, and if I don't obey the first time she tells me to do something, she bends me under her arm and I get five spanks, and then I get a second chance to obey." Grace explained, "It's been hard; the first day I got fifteen spanks. I got five yesterday, but I haven't gotten any today yet."
"Yet?" Olivia raised her eyebrow at Grace teasingly, and Grace giggled.
"That's not what I meant, Ma'am!"
"I know, my baby, I'm just teasing you." Olivia smiled.
"How are the nightmares? Any better?" Dr. Olivet asked.
"Not really, I still have nightmares almost every night. I wake up screaming, and a few nights ago I wet myself. I wouldn't let her hold me at first because I thought she would punish me for wetting myself, but she didn't. It was like my brain didn't understand that I'm not still with Melissa, but when I finally realized that it was my Ma'am with me and not Melissa, I let her hold me and she helped me clean up."
"Sometimes that can happen, nightmares can seem so real that when we first wake up it takes our minds a little while to comprehend that it was just a nightmare." Dr. Olivet agreed, "Do you want to talk about the nightmares you have?"
"They're mostly all the same, usually I'm tied up in Melissa's dungeon and she's hurting me in some way. In the dream that made me wet myself, she was hurting me with the knife and she suddenly turned into Dr. Lindstrom and he shoved it inside of me." Grace blinked back tears. That nightmare had prompted a new cut, "One of my Ma'am's detectives is teaching me how to box, it's actually been a lot of fun, and I wish I had known how to do it before he attacked me, I would have kicked his teeth in."
"Grace, what he did to you wasn't your fault." Dr. Olivet said.
"I know that, and I know all about the fight, flight, or freeze response, and I know that we can't really predict which one we will experience in any given situation, but I still wish I'd had the skills Kat has been teaching me. She says my left hook still needs work, though."
After Grace's session, Dr. Olivet smiled at Grace.
"You did some good work today, sweetheart. Do you think you can go sit out in the waiting room like a good girl while I talk to your Ma'am for just a few minutes?"
Grace looked up at Olivia, slightly fearful, and received a gentle kiss to her forehead.
"Go on, my baby, do as you're told. I'll be right there in just a few minutes, I promise you're safe." Olivia waited until Grace was out of the room before she turned to Dr. Olivet, "What did you see that I missed?"
"I have no proof, but if I suspect that Grace may be a danger to herself or others I'm required to say something. I think Grace has been cutting herself." Dr. Olivet spoke carefully.
"Intentionally?" Olivia raised an eyebrow.
"Yes. The one on her wrist from last time I saw her is healing, but today I noticed what appeared to be a new scar on her other arm."
Olivia sank down to sit on the couch as this revelation fully sank in.
"What am I supposed to do with that? Do I confront her about it? She lied to me about where that scar came from, do I punish her for lying or do I let it go? Do I just watch her? Do I lock up all of our sharp objects?"
"Olivia, calm down," Dr. Olivet soothed, sitting down beside her, "You're her Mistress, you know what's best for her, so trust your own judgment. If you want my opinion, I think confronting her about it right now will just send her into a spiral, and that's the last thing she needs. Try to limit her access to sharp objects, but cutting her off from them completely is a bad idea, she will know that you know. Right now, Grace feels out of control, and her way of taking control is cutting. Watch her for at least the next few days, and if you notice any new scars, call me. You have my cell number, you can use it anytime, even if I'm not in my office."
"Is everything okay, Ma'am?" Grace asked when Olivia walked back into the waiting room.
"Everything is fine, honey. Let's go, I'm going to take you home and then I need to run an errand. I'll be back before dinner, so you can start cooking around 4:30 or so." Olivia instructed.
"Yes, Ma'am. What would you like me to make tonight?" Grace asked as she always did.
"I'll let you surprise me tonight. Choose whatever you would like best." Olivia smiled.
Olivia dropped Grace off at home, and it was only then, alone in her car, that she allowed the tears to fill her eyes. How could she have missed something so significant and dangerous? Dr. Olivet said that she had no proof, but she was a professional and would never diagnose a client as having such an issue unless she was reasonably sure. Olivia drove, instinctively heading south until she arrived at her destination. She parked her car, stepped into the elevator, and pushed the button for the correct floor.
"Hi, ba- ugh!" Cragen suddenly had the wind knocked out of him as Olivia flew into his arms with tears streaming down her pretty face and her shoulders shaking with sobs. Cragen immediately wrapped his strong arms around his daughter and gently guided her into the apartment, shutting the door behind them, "It's okay, baby, Daddy's here. Eileen!"
"Oh, for Heaven's sake, Don, for the fifth time, I said-" Eileen emerged from down the hall and stopped when she found Don standing with Olivia in his arms, completely distraught.
Don guided Olivia to sit down on the couch and continued to hold her, gently rubbing her back until she was starting to calm down. Finally, Olivia heaved a deep breath and was the first one to release their embrace, sitting up and wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands. Eileen had disappeared into the kitchen and reappeared with a glass of water, placing it down on the coffee table in front of Olivia.
"Thanks." Olivia choked out as Eileen sat down on the other side of her, sandwiching Olivia between Don and herself.
"Talk to us whenever you're ready to, sweetheart. Have some water first." Don said.
"Yes, Daddy." Olivia picked up the glass and took a few sips, "Grace just had her therapy session, I dropped her off at home before coming here. After the session, Dr. Olivet pulled me aside and told me that she thinks Grace has been cutting herself."
"Oh!" Don and Eileen both gasped.
"I just don't know what to do with that information." Olivia whimpered.
"I think I have an idea. Do you remember the cabin in the woods I took you to after Alex's funeral?" Don inquired.
"Yes." Olivia nodded, and a small smile slowly spread across her face, "Daddy, you're a genius."