Chapter 8
"I think this is the place..." Sirius said, looking down at the hastily scrawled directions he'd been handed. He walked up and knocked on the door, and was greeted by a kindly older woman wearing an apron covered in flour.
"Ah, you must be Mr. Black correct?"
"Yes ma'am. Are you Mrs. Inman?" Sirius asked.
"That's me! Come on in dear." She said, inviting Sirius inside. Sirius grinned when he realized that the air was heavy with the scent of baked goods.
"Looking to make a good impression, are we?" Sirius asked. Mrs. Inman laughed.
"No comment!" Mrs. Inman said with a grin, leading Sirius into her surprisingly spacious kitchen.
"So you're aware of the secret, right?" Sirius said. She nodded.
"My Granddaughter, Aubrey, just started at Hogwarts this year." She said, opening her oven and withdrawing a tray of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies.
"We need to let these cool." Mrs. Inman said. Sirius cleared off space on a on a table near an open window and she placed them there.
"So do you have lots of experience with kids?" Sirius asked. She nodded.
"I was a dinner lady at The London Oratory School for twenty years." She said.
"I read that. How comfortable are you with older kids though?" Sirius asked.
"Well I mostly fed younger children at the school but my home has played host to dozens of grandchildren and their friends. Abby is currently my youngest." Mrs. Inman said. They spoke for around a half an hour about her experience. Sirius was pleased to find out she had current CPR certification, and her references had given her glowing reviews.
"Here, this should have cooled enough." Mrs. Inman said, handing him a still warm cookie. He took a bite and his eyes widened.
"Mehef caaa ooo arh?" Sirius said, his mouth full as he jammed the rest of the cookie into his mouth like a barbarian.
"What was that, dear?" She asked, clearly struggling not to chastise him for speaking with his mouth full.
"When can you start?" He repeated after swallowing.
"Are you serious?" She asked.
"Yes, are you Mrs. Inman?" Sirius said, subconsciously ducking to avoid a flying hand he'd forgotten wasn't there.
"Are you ok?" She asked.
"Well not according to my godson and his fiancee..." Sirius grumbled.
"However yes I am indeed serious. Honestly the resume and your references were more than enough. These cookies have me considering propositioning you for marriage..." Serious said, gazing longingly at the pan. She laughed and loaded the remaining cookies into a disposable container before handing them to him.
"I think I'm a bit old for you, but I'll take the job." She said.
"Wonderful! I'll bring you by on Wednesday and introduce you to the rest of the staff." Sirius said, shaking her hand.
"I did have one question. Who was Walburga Black?" Mrs. Inman asked.
"She was my mother." Sirius said evenly.
"Was she fond of children?" She asked.
"Oh God, no. She hated them." Sirius said with a grin.
"Even you?" She asked, dusting her hands off on her apron
"Especially me." Sirius said.
"Then why?" She asked.
"My mother was an evil woman. I don't use the term lightly, she quite literally advocated the murder of muggles and muggleborn. The same people that the orphanage caters to. We opened it because the war left a lot of orphans, and until recently Wizarding Britain was awful to everyone except purebloods and halfbloods. I named it after her because she would have hated it." Sirius said still grinning.
"You are a strange one, aren't you?" Mrs. Inman asked.
"Oh you have no idea..." Sirius said with a grin.
He left with a smile on his face, a new employee, and a container of the best cookies he'd ever eaten, so he was almost caught off guard when noticed a house elf sneaking down an alley carrying a briefcase.
"Hmm... This is muggle London... Why isn't he disillusioned?" Sirius asked to himself. He shrunk the cookies and stuffed them in his pocket while carefully crossing the road and following the Elf. As he got closer he could hear the elf muttering something in in a language he didn't speak. The elf stubbed its toe and started shouting and hopping on one foot, dropping the briefcase. Sirius shifted his position, stepping on an empty lager can, and it was loud enough to give him away. The elf looked up in terror and disappeared, leaving the briefcase behind.
"Damn." Sirius said, cursing himself for his clumsiness. He walked up to the briefcase and examined it.
"Hm... no lock... strange..." Sirius said. He placed it on a closed trash can and opened it, unable to get away in time when an acrid gas exploded out of the briefcase, surrounding him in a cloud. He fell to his knees, feeling drowsiness the likes of which he'd never experienced before.
"Damnit... Harry... I don't wanna go... to Gringotts." Sirius stammered before collapsing, unconscious in the alley.
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"Transfiguration is one of my favorite branches of magic. It's ridiculously complicated, there is a very good reason for that, unlike some other types of magic. The incantations are largely irrelevant, think of them like taking notes in shorthand. The key is will. You are bending reality to your will, so you must not only envision the change in an object, but you need to want it to change." Harry said to a spellbound audience of students. A Hufflepuff raised her hand.
"Tamika?" Harry said.
"Why do transfigurations always turn back into what they were originally over time?" Tamika asked. Schrodinger looked up, intrigued to see his father's viewpoint on this.
"That hasn't been proven, but I have a theory." Harry said, hopping down off the student's desk he'd dragged to the front of the room. He had a habit of sitting on desks while lecturing, and he didn't dare desecrate Minerva's desk by sitting on it. The woman herself stood, her back against a wall and her arms folded, observing happily.
"When you transfigure something, I believe you change only it's form, not it's essence. That would explain why when you change a mouse into a snuffbox, when the transfiguration reverts it is still a living, functioning mouse, and not a twitching pile of gruesome biomass." Harry said. Harry looked at his watch and sighed.
"Alright guys that's time. Remember what I said, you have to want it. Willpower is the key to transfiguration." Harry said.
"Thank you God Emperor Potter-Victoria." The class all said as one, including Schrodinger. Harry's eyes narrowed.
"That sounded suspiciously rehearsed." Harry said, his gaze turning into a glare as it reached Minerva who was covering her mouth to hide her laughter. The students filed out, barring Schrodinger who went up to hug Harry.
"How's it going, kiddo?" Harry asked, ruffling his hair.
"It's great. Professor Vector has been letting me attend third year arithmancy classes once a month. It's fascinating..." Schrodinger said.
"Don't bog yourself down too much, you're also here to make some friends remember." Harry said. Schrodinger's expression fell.
"That is proving a bit more difficult. Most of my friends are upperclassmen." Schrodinger said.
"I believe Mr. Blitz is a bit more mature than the other first years, it's hard for him to find common ground with them." Minerva said.
"Well don't try to force it. Fake friends are worse than no friends. It'll happen sooner than you think. How's Grawp? Hagrid told me you and he were helping him in the forbidden forest?" Harry asked.
"Yeah, the centaurs accidentally knocked down a few more trees than they meant to, expanding their pasture and they offered the extras to Hagrid for firewood He asked us to retrieve the logs. Grawp is great!" Schrodinger said.
"Yes, he's great at helping you give me a heart attack." Minerva said, grumpily.
"What happened?" Harry asked. Schrodinger hesitated, looking guilty.
"We finished a lot sooner than we thought it would take, so we had some time to kill. I might have dared him to try to throw me over the castle." Schrodinger said.
"Yeah don't do that. Parenting complete. Did it work?" He asked gleefully. Minerva pinched the bridge of her nose and groaned. Schrodinger nodded and smiled.
"Almost clipped the Astronomy tower, but yeah I made it!" Schrodinger said.
"Awesome!" Harry said, high-fiving him.
"You really shouldn't encourage dangerous behavior like that..." Minerva chided. Harry shrugged.
"Grawp could have thrown him full-force right into the side of the castle and the only thing it would do is irritate him. He is a vampire, Minerva." Harry said.
"Yes, however the other students that were cheering him on most certainly were not." Minerva said. Harry's expression fell.
"Ah. Good point." Harry said, carefully considering his next words.
"Next time do it at night!" Harry said, leaning forward and stage whispering easily loud enough for Minerva to hear. Schrodinger laughed and Minerva rolled her eyes, and failed to suppress the smile on her face.
"How are moms?" Schrodinger asked.
"Zorin is very emotional. It's weird with Integra there was lots of angry outbursts, with Seras it was mostly morning sickness. Zorin has been manic and clingy, prepare for lots of that when she comes to visit." Harry said.
"Everyone else?" Schrodinger asked.
"I think they're up to something, but aside from that no problems." Harry said.
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Sirius awoke, a black cloth bag over his head and he groaned, straining against the ropes binding him to a chair.
"If you're going to keep doing this Harry, at least be original about it. We did the bag over the head a while ago, remember?" Sirius asked. He frowned when he didn't hear a response.
"Hello?" Sirius asked. He was beginning to get concerned. He heard his voice echoing, as though he were indoors. After a few moments he heard muffled footsteps approaching, multiple pairs, as though they were on the other side of a wall. He heard a door open and several people step through it.
"Hey Harry? Come on, man take the bag off." Sirius said. The bag was roughly removed and he squinted, unprepared for the assault of harsh, artificial light that bathed the inside of the room.
"What gives, mate?" Sirius asked.
"Auf Weidersehen, Herr Black." The Major said with a sadistic grin.