Chapter 4


Flashback

As soon as Callie was settled in the airport lounge, she called her father. Carlos Torres answered on the second ring, "Calliope! It's always nice to get a call from you."

"Daddy?" Callie tried her best to hide the quiver in her voice, but alas, she had never been good in hiding her emotions.

Carlos heard it alright, and he was immediately on alert. "Mija? Are you alright? What's wrong?"

"Can I stay at the house for a bit?"

"At the house? You mean in Miami?" Carlos clarified, slightly confused.

Callie nodded before remembering her dad couldn't see her, "Yes, Daddy. Just for a while, if that's okay." She paused for a bit considering something, "Unless that would cause problems between you and Mom? I can stay somewhere else."

"Nonsense!" Carlos exclaimed. "You are most welcome in our house, Mija. It's still your home, too. Is Arizona coming with you? Should I send our jet or would my daughter-in-law be more comfortable flying commercial?"

Callie choked back a sob after hearing how considerate her dad was to her wife. Or should I start calling her ex-wife now? "It'll just be me, Daddy. I'm at the airport now actually, just waiting for my flight."

Carlos was quiet for a bit before softening his tone and asking, "Mija? Did something happen with Arizona?"

"Um, I can't – I can't talk about it yet."

Carlos sighed, "Of course, Calliope. Send me your flight details, and I'll arrange for a car to pick you up from the airport."

"Okay, Daddy. Thank you," Callie sincerely said.

Carlos didn't have a good feeling about this. "You're welcome. But Mija, you're not sick or in trouble, are you? Your old man is worried."

"I'm not sick or in trouble," Callie assured.

"Okay. Have a safe flight then, and I'll see you at home soon."

"Thanks, Daddy. I love you." Callie was ever so thankful for her dad.

"I love you too, Calliope. Bye."

As Carlos had arranged, Callie was picked up from the airport by a luxurious town car the Torres family regularly hired for family and guests, and was taken directly to the Torres estate. As the car passed through the gate and onto the circular driveway towards the house, Callie was able to smile a bit, relishing in the familiarity of her surroundings.

The chauffeur brought Callie's luggage to the doorstep and took his leave. She was a bit hesitant now that she was here, wondering if maybe she should have stayed somewhere else. Her father would surely fuss over her and ask her what happened, while her mother would probably avoid her like the plague. But before she could dwell too much on it, the door was opened by her father.

"Calliope," Carlos said, opening his arms wide for his daughter.

Callie immediately fell into the arms of her father, taking comfort in the strength emanating from her dad just as she used to when she was a child. She held on just a tad longer and tighter than she usually did. Arizona's infidelity had stolen her sense of security, her value, and her emotional safety. But here in the arms of her father, Callie knew she was safe. Her heart was safe.

"Let's go inside, Mija," Carlos softly said when Callie finally let go. He could see the pain lurking beneath his daughter's expressive eyes. But he knew Callie well enough to know that now was not the right time to probe. For now, he would settle with giving his daughter whatever comfort he could offer.

For the first week since Callie arrived in Miami, she kept to herself in her old room. She simply laid on her bed, staring blankly at the ceiling and walls. Sleep was elusive, as her mind was whirring with everything and nothing at all.

Callie didn't want to worry her father too much, so she left her room to eat with him during breakfast. She figured it was the only time her mother would surely not be around, as Lucia took morning yoga classes with her friends. She really did not have any appetite to eat, but she tried to get a few bites in just to appease her dad.

Carlos tried coaxing Callie to eat with him and Lucia during dinner, but his daughter declined. He didn't force the matter because he decided that at this moment, Callie's feelings came first, not his desire to mend the relationship between mother and daughter. He knew Lucia and Callie were avoiding each other. His wife not accepting their daughter's sexuality was still a point of contention in their marriage. He was not sure if anything could change Lucia's hard stance on the matter.

He previously decided to confront Lucia about it and issue an ultimatum. But when he inadvertently mentioned the same to Callie during one of their phone calls, his daughter vehemently told him not to. Callie insisted that she could live with her mother essentially disowning her, but she couldn't bear the thought that her parents' marriage would fail because of her. Carlos argued, but in the end, Callie persuaded him to just keep his relationship with his wife and his daughter separate. It had been more than two years, but he still held hope that Lucia would eventually change her mind.

A week since his daughter arrived on his doorstep, Carlos could no longer tolerate what Callie had been doing. She had essentially shut herself off from the world, staying in her room all the time except for meal times that he shared with her. He knew Callie was only trying to placate him by showing up for breakfast. She didn't even eat much. She didn't come down for dinner to join him and Lucia. When he asked their chef, their chef confirmed that Callie hadn't been eating at lunch as well. He was worried, and he didn't even know what exactly happened. He decided that he had waited long enough; it was time to make Callie talk.

Denial

Callie knew it was only a matter of time before her dad would ask her to talk, to explain why she was here in Miami without her wife. She was dreading it. The truth was, she spent the past week trying to block everything out. She was fighting her own heart and mind, trying not to think of Arizona, of her wife's infidelity, of their broken marriage.

Was this the denial stage that she was initially robbed of?

She still could not believe everything that happened in the past few weeks. She knew their marriage was not perfect by any means, but cheating? It never ever crossed Callie's mind that Arizona would cheat on her, would choose to cheat on her.

And that was the reason why she could not bring herself to talk to her dad about it. She was still in a state of disbelief, of wanting to live in a fictitious world where she was just in Miami for a short break from a fight with her wife. That her beautiful, amazing wife was still waiting for her back in their apartment in Seattle.

Callie thought her mind had already caught up with her heart, that both were in agreement that the marriage could not survive. Her mind led her back here in Miami, to leave the place she called home for a long time. But her heart was in constant pain.

How come her heart was still yearning for Arizona? How come her wounded heart wanted the balm that could only come from her wife?

She knew she needed to explain to her father. He was gracious enough to let her stay here in their house, where she was partly unwanted. He didn't force her to talk. But she knew her time of silence was running out.

Callie heard a knock on her bedroom door, but she was too lost in her own world to muster the strength to get up and open the door.

After another knock, Carlos walked in. "Calliope?" He saw his daughter sitting on the bed with her back at the headboard, staring at the wall as per usual. As a father, it had always been tough to see his daughter in pain. And that's what he saw now in Callie's expressive eyes – nothing but anguish and pain.

Callie looked at her dad and forced herself to smile, "Hey, Daddy."

Carlos sat down next to Callie and asked, "Talk to me, Mija. What happened?"

Callie was silent for a while, considering her words carefully. How could she explain everything that happened? Finally, she spoke, "Things have been bad for a while, but I thought we were recovering. Then, Arizona cheated on me. It happened a few weeks ago. I couldn't stay in Seattle anymore, so here I am."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I fought so hard just to get you to accept us. Mom hasn't spoken to me since the wedding, and I just..." Callie trailed off. "Apparently, I marry people who cheat on me. It's pathetic." She realized, "I am pathetic."

"No. When that O'Malley kid cheated on you, I was ready to knock his teeth out. Now I won't hit a lady, but I can make it happen. I know people. Just say the word, all right?" Carlos said seriously.

"No, Dad. God, no."

"All right. Look at me," Carlos said. When Callie still stayed looking down to her lap, Carlos cupped his daughter's face with both of his hands. "Mija, look at me." When is daughter's eyes finally met his, he spoke with conviction, "Nothing about you is pathetic."

Callie just smiled sadly, a lone tear falling from her right eye as she looked at her father; his words not penetrating her deeply wounded heart.

Carlos didn't know what else to do. So he kissed Callie on her forehead, just as he did when she was a child.

Callie stayed in her personal exile for the next couple of days.

Carlos came into her room at least once a day to check on her, but his daughter was just blankly staring at the walls. He couldn't hold his tongue anymore. "Your mother and I have been married 38 years. You think it's been easy?"

Callie snapped her head up at that, "No, don't." She didn't want to talk.

But Carlos was persistent, probably where Callie herself got the trait from. "You think we haven't had troubles?"

"Don't do that. Don't start comparing. Don't."

"What happened to her 'good man in a storm' baloney? It's not right. She should be here every day trying to fix it." Carlos could not understand why his daughter-in-law wasn't here. And from what he knew, she hadn't even tried to reach out.

Callie was getting tired of this conversation, "It wasn't like that."

"No? The hell it isn't. She hurt you, and she is too much of a coward to even face you," Carlos insisted.

"I left, Dad! I was the one who left our apartment. I didn't want to go to therapy with her. And I was the one to leave Seattle. It's my choice to split up. It's mine."

Carlos was incredulous. "You chose to break up your marriage? Did you even try to work things out?"

Callie did not answer her father.

"You're married. You took a vow. You don't walk away from that. If things get hard, you work harder."

"She cheated on me," Callie hotly responded with emphasis. She couldn't understand why her father was being obstinate about this.

Carlos just kept looking at Callie wondering if the next words to come out of his mouth were wise. He gruffly said, "I cheated on your mother."

"What?! I'm sorry, what?!" Now it was Callie's turn to be in disbelief.

"A long time ago. We were young. I was stupid," Carlos said, rushing his words. He did not like dwelling too much on his own fallibility. "But your mother found it in her heart to forgive me."

Callie thought, her mother? How could her mother forgive cheating when she couldn't even bend her beliefs enough for her own daughter? "Why? Why would she do that?"

"Why? Because she believed we were stronger than one mistake. And I thank God every day she did. Because otherwise, I wouldn't have you. Thirty-eight years, we've shared a life. And it all started after that one mistake." Carlos looked straight at his daughter's eyes, desperate for her to understand his point. "Now things between you and Arizona might not work out. You know, you might not be able to fix it. But how will you know if you never try?"

And with that, Carlos briefly held his daughter's hand before turning around and walking out of the room. He hoped that his words penetrated Callie's heart, and that she might find it in her to give Arizona another chance too.

Callie thought about what her Dad said. Was he right? Did she give up too easily on her marriage?

She knew she had an impulsive streak, but she didn't think that leaving her marriage was a knee-jerk response.

She left their apartment after the storm because she wanted a bit of time to sort through her muddled thoughts. She was allowed that, right? If she stayed, she was sure that words would have been exchanged between her and Arizona that they might regret later on. The pain was too raw for her, and Arizona was not particularly sorry anyway. She was still baffled by Arizona's countenance after being found out. The words she threw out at her made Callie feel like Arizona thought she deserved to be cheated on, that she caused her own wife to cheat.

She did not go through with the therapy because she was still angry at the time with how Arizona was downplaying her indiscretion. And she still strongly believed that Arizona needed to go talk to the therapist by herself first, she needed professional help. But did Arizona even go through with it?

Arizona did not even approach her after that, which led Callie to believe that her wife wasn't too bothered to patch things up with her. What was she supposed to think? Didn't Arizona give up first after her one and only attempt to talk things over? Callie didn't even say that she didn't want to give their marriage a chance, only that she couldn't do the therapy yet at the time. Her mind was still fogged up with the hurt over what happened and wasn't open to talking yet.

Then to find out Arizona's true motivation to cheat during the night of the fundraising gala, that she wanted Boswell and her attention – what else was Callie supposed to do?

But learning that her mother found it in her heart to move past her father's infidelity, that was making her doubt her own decision.

Her father was right; her parents had a great life together. Her whole life she saw how her parents loved each other. There were disagreements, of course, that they tried to keep away from her and her sister, Aria. But she saw how deep that love flowed between her parents. Her father always doted on her mother, being such a gentleman and a romantic. He valued her opinions. Her mother looked at him like he hung the moon in the sky, and was always there to support him in everything he did.

They were not the perfect parents, but Callie whole-heartedly knew that she was loved. They were both busy people, but they were always present in the most important events of her life, at least until she married Arizona. Both her father and mother let her express herself; they supported her in the things she wanted to do even if they were against it. Imagine letting a Torres join Peace Corps and go to Botswana? Oh, the horror for her parents! But they supported her because they loved her. How Callie wished that this love and support extended to her sexuality. Alas, her mother was still holding strong to her religious beliefs.

Her parents were the reason why her dream had always been to have a partner, a family of her own to love and cherish. She was brought up with so much love and joy that never in her wildest dreams would she think that cheating was a part of her parents' love story.

Could Boswell be just another part of her story with Arizona too? Could they really move on from this? Could there be healing after all?

Callie's mind was incredibly muddled. Perhaps a walk outside was warranted; fresh air would do her some good. So for the first time since she came here in Miami, she got up and got ready to venture outside.

Bargaining

When Callie was still living in Miami before she went to college, the beach had always been her reprieve. Sitting on the warm sand and looking out towards the waves calmed whatever inner turmoil she was having.

She hoped that it would still have the same effect on her now, as this was the biggest threat to her inner peace yet.

Callie loved Arizona; she was still in love with her. She had long ago figured out that Arizona was the love of her life. No matter what happened from this point forward, that was something she didn't think would ever change.

Arizona cheated on her; willingly chose to do so for her own reasons.

Could I forgive someone who is not remorseful? Or does Arizona feel remorse now that I left?

Callie was wondering if genuine forgiveness was at all possible, if not at least acceptance that this chapter was now part of their history.

Maybe we could try therapy, both individually and as a couple?

She was not averse to working hard to reach a goal. In fact, she had some experience on it. Being a female surgeon in the male-dominated orthopedic field was no easy feat; not just that, she was actually well- known in her specialty. When she and Arizona got into the car accident before they got married, she had to stay in the hospital for over a month and re-learn how to use all parts of her body. She remembered how difficult it was to even move her fingers, and how frustrated she got with physical therapy.

Maybe we could do this, rebuild our marriage?

Her father's words ran through her mind – 'how will you know if you never try?'

Our marriage is worth a try, right? Even if it didn't work, at least she could say to herself that they made an attempt to fix things. The more she thought about it, the more she started feeling irate with herself – between the two of them, Arizona was the known bailer, not her! But here she was, thousands of miles away from her wife because she wanted an escape.

Escape.

Was that all she required to settle down her overwhelming emotions? Callie wondered if being away from that cursed hospital was what she needed to clearly think things through. Perhaps the humiliation of having another failed relationship; of being cheated on by a spouse for a second time and have people in the hospital be witness to her disgrace was a much bigger factor than she understood herself.

But why didn't Arizona reach out to me at all? I'm here in Miami for over a week now, and there is nothing at all from her end.

Callie felt her miniscule hope falter a bit. But then she reasoned, she was the one who left their home and their city. She said goodbye to her wife in a letter. Maybe Arizona was also waiting for her to reach out. At least that was what she told herself.

She breathed in the crisp beach air surrounding her, and let out a big exhale. She had made up her mind – she would talk to Arizona and see if their marriage can be saved.

With that thought, Callie got up from her spot in the sand. Her path forward was clear, but now she had a raging headache. Perhaps the past several days of not getting enough sleep and sustenance was finally catching up on her, so she drove to a pharmacy and bought the strongest over-the-counter sleeping pills she could buy and a couple of headache medicine before heading back to the house.

When Callie got back to their house, she saw her dad eating alone in the smaller dining room (they had a bigger one that was mostly used for entertaining guests). Carlos must have heard her footsteps because he looked up and asked her to join him.

"Where's Mom?" asked Callie.

"She's going to be home late; her meeting is running over." Carlos said. "Since Lucia's not here, how about you join your old man for dinner?" He was hoping his daughter would agree.

Callie acquiesced, "Sure, Dad." She hadn't really eaten properly since the night of the storm. How could she when her gut was constantly churning from thinking about Arizona's infidelity? But now that she had a bit of hope that things could turn out okay, her appetite reappeared.

Carlos signaled to their butler to bring some food for Callie. Food was promptly served and he watched as Callie started to eat. He thoughtfully considered his daughter. Not only had she lost weight, she looked downright miserable. Her eyes had bags under them, her skin was pale. She looked like a strong gust of wind could knock her over. And that was just not his daughter at all. His daughter was strong and had always plowed through the difficulties she had faced in life. When life hit her hard, she always got back up to her feet and fought harder. This was the first time he saw her really downtrodden.

Not even when that idiot boy O'Malley cheated on her did she break like this. He remembered Callie telling him that she was in shock after the idiot boy (yes, that was how he referred to George in his mind no matter that he died a hero. He hurt his daughter, so he's an idiot) confessed, but still pushed forward the next day. One day at a time, he recalled Callie telling him. She took the day as it arrived and tried her best to look forward.

He was getting angry at Arizona all over again for doing this to Callie, which admittedly was hypocritical of him since he also did the same thing to his wife. So with all the seriousness and sincerity in him, he offered again, "Do you want me to take a hit out on Dr. Robbins?"

"What?! No, of course not!" Callie vehemently responded, almost choking on her food. She was terribly surprised at the sudden outburst from her father. "And would you stop offering that? You're not part of the Miami Mafia!" She paused and asked with trepidation, "Um – You're not, right?"

Carlos looked straight into Callie's eyes and nonchalantly said, "If I were, I would not tell you."

"Jesus Christ!"

"Don't use the Lord's name in vain, Calliope," Carlos chastised, though he said so with obvious jest in his tone.

Callie was just staring at her father. She really wasn't sure how serious her dad was, so she told him, "I was actually thinking of reaching out to Arizona, Daddy. I thought – well, maybe you were right. I could at least talk to her."

Carlos smiled, "I'm glad to hear that you are open to at least talking with your wife, Mija."

So that night, for the first time since discovering her wife's infidelity, Callie felt a little lighter. She ate properly with her father and took some of the sleeping pills she bought to aid her in her sleep. Maybe she would be able to get a full night's rest.

The waves of grief she endured for the past few weeks had settled, if only for a night.

Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.

Acceptance. Perhaps it was possible, she thought.

Tomorrow would be better.

[A/N] This was supposed to be a longer chapter, but I have decided to just split them into two so I could already post this. Target is to release the second part *hopefully* a week later since that one should be shorter and is already mostly written.

Also, apologies that after the next chapter, we would still be dealing with one more flashback chapter before we go back to Callie and Arizona in the present time. I'd think about moving some chapters around if I feel like that would be too much looking back. I'm excited to move the story forward and also write for Arizona again.

Disclaimer: Some dialogues between Callie and Carlos in this chapter were directly lifted from 10x09.