A/N: And the daily updates continue!
I've updated this one continuously for the last few days in addition to others, in case anyone's wondering.
Sorry.
I know I keep updating this, and that they don't feel like real updates. I've just...got a lot on my plate atm. I want Berserker to be bloody flawless and given the chaos circling my life, I'm not able to crank out the big ones as much as I'd like to. Toss in job hunting and its a right and proper bitch.
Babylonia is currently kicking my ass.
Still, my luck seems to be holding in other aspects at least. Ibaraki spooked the hell out of me earlier today.
Now then, on we go.
A Most Unlikely Shielder should be update tomorrow, my health and sanity willing.
I'd say "this" Naruto is more meme-worthy than his brothers, if only because he's a lazy bastard. Hell, even the title is a pun.
Still, it gives us a peak into the inner-workings of Chaldea, so there's that.
"Save the world? Me Nah, sounds like too much work. Ibaraki and Shuten can do that. G'night."
"Bullshit! Nobody's that lazy! Even you can't possibly be-
"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
"He fell asleep?!"
~?
A Most Unlikely Surprise
"WHO DARES SUMMON ME?!"
Under normal circumstances, Ereshkigal wouldn't have shouted thus upon her arrival to Chaldea; indeed, it was not in the goddess's nature to shout at all unless provoked. In her mind, a true goddess must be prim and proper at all times, and as such, she had her image to maintain. Yes. Certainly. Ordinarily that would've been the case. She wouldn't have announced herself in such a fashion. But after the sheer unmitigated disaster of her last contract - and the less said about that one the better-she wanted nothing more than to get out of the Throne as soon as she went back to it. As it stood, she'd set something of a record.
Shortest summoning ever.
Honestly! Her Master had taken one look at her and cut their contract on the spot!
What kind of brute did such a thing?! What manner of monster would be so cruel?! She didn't deserve to be bullied like this!
Thus when the call came down from Chaldea, she'd been all too happy to answer it. She didn't care if humanity needed her; frankly, she just wanted to be needed by someone at all. Her pride was in tatters already; she'd even gone so far as to possess another body similar to her last one just to manifest at all. That...may have affected her mindset a bit, but even so! She was determined not to be thrown away this time. Ishtar wouldn't let her live that first failure down before; she'd never hear the end of it if there was a second!
And if that meant she had to make a bit of a ruckus-and inspire a touch of fear-then so be it!
But nobody came.
Indeed, the blond goddess found herself alone in the summoning chamber altogether; instead of the warm welcome or the Master she'd expected, she found only four looming walls and a terribly scorched ceiling awaiting her baffled gaze. Whoops. Perhaps she should have held back a bit? But still! Where was everyone?! She knew this was Chaldea. Indeed, it must be. The Throne had blazed that information in the back of her mind like an angry red ember. So where, where, WHERE was everyone?!
"Mwah?!" a soft, bored yawn greeted her. "I wasn't sleeping! Definitely not sleeping! Did someone actually show up this time?!"
Aghast, the goddess looked down.
Sprawled out near the doors leading to the summoning chamber-no wonder she hadn't seen her!-a young girl clad in a yellow kimono was only just now beginning to stir. A half-eaten chocolate bar lay stuck to her cheek, suggesting she'd fallen asleep on it somehow, but that soon proved to be the least of her concerns. Said girl took one look at her and thrashed upright with an indignant sputter. During said thrashing, Ereshkigal glimpsed a pair of horns jutting out of her forehead amidst her golden hair. She, whomever she was, wasn't human.
Words clamored in Eresh's head as she flailed her arms, to no avail. "I...but you...where...?!"
"Nah, I'm no Master," the girl waved flippantly in answer to her unspoken question. "I'm just just Ibaraki. We went and set the summoning system to automatic. Damn thing uses saint quartz randomly once a day. Didn't expect someone to actually answer at this hour."
Oh.
Well, then.
That was disheartening.
Still, it left the matter of this...creature.
A small, scornful smile twitched at her lips. "And just who are you, brat?"
Of course she rose to the bait; the girl gave a low growl and swatted her hand away.
"HEY! Watch your tongue, missy! I'm not a brat! I'm an Oni! There's a difference, idiot! My Boss told me to stand guard here and guard the gate!" The little oni informed her, puffing her diminutive chest out proudly as she presented her given task. "He wanted me to keep watch for thots so they don't disturb him!"
A pause pushed itself between them.
"Wait." At last, Ibaraki wrinkled her nose. "Although, come to think of it...are you a thot?"
Eresh felt her jaw come unhinged as she gaped down at this unassuming girl.
And then the words caught up with her all at once. "Why you little...?!"
"Oh for the love of...!" a new voice rumbled, "What's all this?!"
All at once, the doors behind them rushed up with a hiss of steam to reveal the one who'd raised their voice. Whatever threat Ereshkigal might made withered away on her lips as she beheld the newcomer; if only because he looked so damndedly familiar. Bright blue eyes squinted at her beneath blond bangs, his whiskered cheeks pinching in a mild scowl as lazily he scratched the center pf his forehead. One had but to glimpse the twin blue horns jutting out there to realize that this man wasn't wholly human either, for better or worse. He looked like he'd crawled out of bed, indeed, he wore little more than black slacks and a tattered orange shirt that looked to have seen better days indeed.
With a jaw popping yaw, the young master scratched his horns anew gave her a searching look.
"Really? You arrived now? Its half past midnight. I was sleeping, ya know."
Ibaraki saw the opportunity and pounced. "Boss! I found a thot!"
Her head snapped toward the Oni. "I WILL END YOUR LIFE!"
Such was Ereshkigal's first evening in Chaldea.
She did not fare well.
A/N: Hope this made you smile; that was the intention. At this point, they haven't even tackled the First Singularity.
I'll leave it to you guys and gals to decide if this should become a bonafide story or not.
Because HER banner is coming soon, so I figured, why the hell not?
And also that Ibaraki bit at the end, because she spooked me.
Chaldea!Naruto is one we'll see later.
He's a Master...and yet not.
Its heavily implied that...
...well. He's a lazy guy.
Warm regards,
(Previews?)
"YOU!"
"Do I look familiar? I get that a lot."
He patted her head, laughing. "Welcome to Chaldea. You want a tour?
"You're the fifth Servant to answer the call. Shuten and Ibaraki were the first. We don't talk about the third; because we sent Medb right back. And as for the fourth...
"Ah! There you are, boy! And who might be this be?!"
A loud cackle boomed down the hall.
...that would be Iskandar."
"Save the world? At this hour? Me Nah, sounds like too much work. Ibaraki and Shuten can do that. G'night."
Eresh sputtered. "Bullshit! Nobody's that lazy! Even you can't possibly be-
"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
"He fell asleep?!"
~Nz.