A/N: Ahhhh...I'm tired.

Life's been kicking my ass lately, and now my computer's being stupid. Siiiiiiigh.

Getting ready to update some big stories soon, but I just want able to swing it today thanks to an early shift.

So today's a plot bin day; for this, and other stories.

As ever we're still sticking to the "Embers" rule here, folks. If folks don't like this...well, I won't continue something no one likes. Every review, every comment, no matter how large or small, keeps me writing in spite of my busy work schedule. I don't get days off anymore, so I try to respond when I can, but lately it feels like this has become a job in and of itself; albeit one I don't get paid for, one that it is often thankless...

So here we are, a fragment that never came, an idea meant to make you smile.

As ever, I own no quotes, references, media or memes.

Noooope! Not a wit or one.

Hope you enjoy this!

"That's cheating! You said wouldn't use any tricks!"

"Shinobi, remember. We don't play fair.

"Why you filthy little...!"

~?

A Most Unlikely Laugh

One did not simply prank the king of heroes and live to tell the tael.

Perhaps that was a bit of a misnomer. One certainly did.

"A thousands years of death!"

There was a silence. A blanket of white noise fell over Chaldea like so much gentle snowfall. Mash knew it well. T'was the calm before the storm. She counted down to three, idly wondering if today would be different; if he actually managed to succeed this time; if she'd actually be able to finish her breakfast before

.

..

...and then.

"MOOOOONGREEEEL!"

Oh, dear. He'd done it now.

A distant rumble shook the cafeteria. Mash knew what was coming next. Most of the Chaldean servant did by now.

Without missing a beat she downed the last of her drink, whirled, grabbed senpai, kicked their table, and dove behind it for cover. Several servants saw her and did the same.

Just as well they did too; because in the next instant Naruto -Archer!- burst out a nearby door like an arrow loosed from a bow. The pun wasn't lost on her. He paused for a moment, flashed a merry wave in their direction raced for the nearest door in a streak of gold.

Gilgamesh barreled after him a heartbeat later, face red, sword in hand. "Where is he?! I'l have his head!"

His boot caught a tripwire-one she could've sworn hadn't been there a second ago. For the life of her, Mash never knew where or how Naruto prepared them so quickly, only that he did. Even as her mind realized he awful horror of what was about to happen, she couldn't bring herself to look away.

A pie swung down from the ceiling and struck Gilgamesh square in the face. The king went still as stone, frozen by sheer incredulity alone.

Someone snickered. She never knew who, but it was the pebble that started the avalanche.

"Mongrels the lot of you!" he whiped the cream away and stormed forwards, Gate of Babylon shimmering behind him. "You can all go-

His foot passed through a hole that, again, hadn't existed a second ago. He lost his balance and crashed for into, you guessed it...

...another pie.

"Huh." She heard Emiya mutter somewhere among the throng of sniggering Servants. "Bannana cream. Not a bad choice."

"Not another word, Fakr!" Gilgamesh made it to a knee. Another pie struck the back of his skull. He whirled with a snarl. "Who threw that?!"

Cú Chulainn whistled innocently, both hands linked behind his head.

All hell broke hid a rueful smile behind her hands.

Such was life in Chaldea.

A/N: Funny little chaos.

Hope it warms your heart in these crazy, crazy times.

And there we go. With luck, I'll see you guys and gals again in a few hours.

So...in the immortal words of Atlas...

...Revieeeeew, Would You Kindly?

No previews. Not this time.

So terribly busy.

R&R! =D