A/N: Read this note, would you kindly? Got some important info. Big changes are coming to this site.

Sorrrrrry!

Got sick, fell behind, trying to catch up.

I feel like I've failed you guys and gals, but I'm just so exhausted. T_T

Once the plot bins are updated (which will be today) the updates will be: Far from Home, Running to the Edge, Runt of the Litter, A Boy's Journey and One Helluva Team should be next, alongside Golden Soul, which Slifer is writing the next chapter for.. I'll be getting back to Fate, too...that is, if I'm still around.

I'll say it plain, if this email opt-in business with the site doesn't get resolved soon, I'm probably going to retire.

It HURTS to say that, but with this new system, reviews and readers have dropped to an all time low, many authors are leaving the site in droves.

If you're not already aware, ever since the 16th of November, you now have to turn ON your email alerts in account settings-MAKE SURE YOU CLICK SAVE SETTINGS!-else you won't be notified when anyone updates. No alerts, no email, no nothing. Apparently that's a thing we all have to do every ninety days or so, now. Alas, not many are aware of it...which is a problem. As things stand this new "fix" as it were, has cut everyone's viewership/reviewers in half because most folks don't know about it. Authors are leaving/quitting in droves because of this.

Sometimes opting in works. Sometimes it doesn't. Really depends. Hopefully the devs can fix tweak/update this system.

As ever, the Embers rule remains: If people don't like this story? If they don't enjoy it? Well...I' won't be able to continue it. That's no joke, folks. I'm so busy these days with two jobs; holidays are HERE and basically, I don't have time off. Not anymore. My free time is limited and as such, I can't afford to focus on something folks don't like. Reviews keep me writing in these times, and keep the daily updates flowing. Silence...silence only hurts. I hate having to beg for feedback, but without it...well, it feels like I'm not making an impact.

Alright, then. As ever, I own no references, quotes, memes or themes. Not a wit or a one.

I'm just a humble author trying to make his way in this wild world, one word at a time.

This is a rough draft. Time and feedback will determine if this becomes a story.

In other words...its up to YOU, the reader. Do let me know~!

References are references, and lets see if you can guess which ones are here...

Again, this is just a draft.

"You're thinking too much, Master. Just tell me who needs killing. I'll do the rest."

"It isn't that simple! You can't just wade in and-ow! Don't pinch my cheek!

"What did i just say? Thiiiiinking tooo muuuch!

~?

A Most Unlikely Hammer

Illya didn't understand her Servant.

How could she? He didn't make a lick of sense!

No way of knowing his class, not telling his motives. He could be anything.

A small part of her knew it was her own fault. She'd jumped the gun. Her impatience had gotten the better of her. She'd wanted to be the first to summon a Servant in the coming war. Arrogance on her part to be sure, bu but after all she'd been through she had little pride left. Pride and anger were all that kept her going these days.

And right now? She was feeling an awful lot of anger.

"You're a little young for a mage, aint'cha?"

Illya bridled. "I'm older than I look!"

"Fair." he grunted. "I'm not one to judge. Seen one mage, ya seen 'em all...

"..."

It should have been Heracles! But this wasn't him! How did you summon the wrong servant with a catalyst?!

The warrior sprawled on the sofa before her was a blond man; bright blue eyes framed by rough blond hair and whiskered cheeks. He wore worn leathers dyed black and blue, yet for some unfathomable reason they left most of his torso exposed; from his chiseled chest to his broad abs. What kind of warrior wore armor like this? And what was with those tattoos?! All those weird rune-like marks all over his body...

.

..

...and was that a Hammer in his belt?

Wasn't even a very good one at that, all large and blocky, its handle far too short for her liking.

What kind of servant had a hammer?! That wasn't a class! She'd screwed up!

Her temper slipped its leash. "What is that stupid hammer, anyway?!

"It was a gift from my adopted father, the man who took me in." He ran a finger across its sparking surface. "He gave it to me before he died."

Aha! A clue! "And who might that be...?"

He tilted his head. "Thor."

Illya squeaked.

Oh.

Ohh.

Ohhh!

She'd struck gold after all!"

"Servant, Berserker." the merry man intoned, as though reading her very thoughts. "Naruto, at your service. You strike me as a calm and reasonable person, Master." His grin chilled Illya to her very core. Are you?" he tilted his head, further, eyes sparking blue. "A calm and reasonable person...?"

Her smile matched his. "And if I said no...?"

He rose from the ruined couch and stomped his way. Oh gods. He really was tall. Stupid body. She wished she wasn't so short...!

Her heart damn near stopped when he paused before her. Loomed over her, now.

His forehead touched her. Those lightning blue eyes sparked with glee.

"Then I'd say we're in business."

A/N: Once more the fate of this teaser depends on you, and its bloody obvious where it comes from.

And there we go. With luck, I'll see you guys and gals again in a few hours, time and life permitting.

Or not. I don't know. Need to have a word with my bosses(s) about all this extra work.

So...in the immortal words of Atlas...

...Revieeeeew, Would You Kindly?

No previews once again.

So terribly tired.

R&R! =D