A/N: Hello~! I'm still alive somehow!

Hope all your anniversary rolls went/are going well.

A Most Unlikely Berserker will be updated soon, today/tomorrow.

With my fifteen year anniversary on this site here, I find myself reflecting on the little things in life. What was once a lazy pastime meant for me and a few friends really grew and evolved over time. There are days when I look back on the last fifteen years here and I wonder if anyone will remember me; if I made an impact, despite never making a single cent on any of these stories. Some days were happier than others, and some stories I enjoyed writing WAY too much; to the point where I'd stay up all night working on them.

And of course, there are times when I look to the future and wonder what will become of things when I'm gone.

Of course, I try not to dwell on the latter overmuch; I'm still alive and still writing. In an ideal world, I'd like to keep doing so for as long as I can. But old age is catching up to me and these days, the world is filled with so much madness and death. The recent earthquake in Turkey/Syria serves as a terrible example. Even before that, so many friends and fellow writers I once knew are gone, now. Will I still be here in twenty years? Ten? Five? Its a chilling thought. But for now, I'm still here, still writing.

As ever, I own no quotes, references, themes, or memes. Not a wit or a single one!

They're tributes to legends far greater than I.

This chapter doesn't pull any punches~!

To be clear, this is Shippuden Naruto.

"Alright! You'll do~!"

~?

A Most Unlikely Summon

"Hiiii~!"

Naruto had expected many things when he'd tried his hand at summoning.

He'd been aiming for a particularly large toad today, hopefully Gamabunta himself. Sure, he might've been excited. Sure, he might've rushed the handseals. Sure, he might've used a little too much chakra. But that was all well and good, right? He'd done this countless times before.

Somewhere, somewhen, somehow, the wires of the universe got crossed...

.

..

...and the result stood before him.

He hadn't expected to summon a person! Certainly not a brash buxom blond wearing a headdress and an awful lot of orange-an-blue.

His heart skipped a beat staring at her.

She was the most beautiful woman he'd every lay eyes upon.

That's right, he was shocked, stricken, smitten. So much so that he didn't burst out into a shout as he usually did when startled.

And he certainly was now.

"The Goddess Quetzalcoatl has arrived in the ring!" she looked left, then right considering. Saw him, now. "Huh? That's strange. I expected nude priests, but you're an adorable little summoner." as he looked on his fellow blond planted a fist on her hip, leaned forward -accidentally giving them quite the show!- and flashed him a merry grin. "I don't suppose you're interested in tall, older women?"

Jiraiya crashed backward, bleeding from the nose.

Naruto pinched his own with a rueful sigh.

"Bit of a loaded question there...

A/N: Aaaand scene~!

Once more, we're sticking with the "Embers" rule for this story, and others. Meaning folks don't like this, it won't be continued. If the story itself ain't popular/well-received...well, I won't be able to continue it. I'm working two jobs, holidays are here too, meaning I barely have time to write; as such, I cannot afford to write something folks don't enjoy.

So by all means, speak up! Your voice matters! Make yourself heard! As ever, reviews are the fuel that sustain me. Without them I cannot write a single word. Simple as that. Working nearly all hours of the day keep me absurdly busy, and I can't bring myself to write something folks don't like.

So...in the immortal words of Atlas...

...Revieeeeew, Would You Kindly?

Only a few previews this time.

(Previews)

Quetzalcoatl beamed. "Its simple! You just snap their neck liiiike this!"

Kisame dropped with a gurgle.

Naruto sighed.

"Hmm, hmm. I see. No, no, I do!"

A fist slammed into the wall mere inches from her face.

Rider leaned in, grinning ear to ear. "Lets you and me have a talk."

Sakura gulped.

"Ole~!"

Well, that mountain's gone...

Rider turned a merry smile on him. "What do you think, Master~?"

R&R! =D