Author's Note: Probably OOC kyle in this chapter, but oh what the hell. This is kinda a crack fic, where I really get to loosen up and release all of the style that i've been consuming on twitter LOL. (besides all of the crenny that i draw and enjoy too ofc huehue)

First chapter will be shorter bc its more of an introductory into things, but later chapters will be longerrrrrrr

Please enjoy! Rate & review, it really helps me to write :3 3

It wasn't supposed to be like this. No god, no.

I must be dreaming, right?

My hands sifted through the sand blindly with my heart caught in my chest. The wreckage from afar gave off black clouds of smoke and fire, before hitting the waters like hard concrete. Each explosion made my soul cringe, thinking of the countless people still inside the craft.

…Why am I the only one who survived?

(Stan's POV)

"Tickets, please," An attendant drones from across the counter, looking bored out of her mind. The tie fastened around her neck was unkempt, as well as her bun-tied hair and apparel. She looked like she was going to keel over from sheer exhaustion. I handed over my ticket, smiled, and nodded in her general direction. "Thank you, sir."

"How are you doing today, miss?"

"The name's Ashley, sweetie. My day is going, just like any other," She rolled her eyes at me and motioned for the next person to come along. "Next."

"Alright, alright, no need for the attitude," I muttered, before shoving my luggage up the ramp to the ship. There was no way I was going to let this lady's tude' get in the way of the fun I was going to have. Work had been absolute hell lately, and I decided to schedule myself a fun little cruise on my vacation. I deserved it. I sure as hell did NOT want to go back home to visit my family, knowing that my dad was just going to try selling his marijuana to me and my friends. It was a big headache to deal with, even more so that he was treating it like a pyramid scheme. If you buy 5, you can give it to your friends and they can sell it too!

My dad's an idiot, and other people can see it, too.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, remembering how cringe my dad was, and hurried onto the cruise ship to find my room. Another attendant met me on the way, asking if they could take my luggage up to my room. I hurriedly said no and went on my way so I could take a rest for a bit. Packing my things the day of and the journey getting here was no easy feat. Soon, I made it to my room and shuffled my things in.

My room was monochromatic blue, adorned with ocean-themed objects like a lighthouse lamp and a seashell phone by the nightstand. It was a little dingy, but the view made me not think about work. After shoving my luggage into the closet neatly, I opened the porthole and rested my fingertips against the window frame.

I could hear the seagulls cawing and the ocean's sprays resting softly against my face. Ahh, this is great.

—

Evening fell and dinner came swiftly. I headed out to the banquet hall in casual clothing, like a t-shirt and sweatpants to see that others were dressed up quite nicely. To be quite frank, I felt a little embarrassed but once I got my meal and dug in, I forgot all about my initial squeamish-ness. The night ended peacefully and I headed back to my room to turn in for the evening.

But for some reason, something didn't feel right.

As I turned the knob to my door, I could see my bedsheets were unraveled and messy from the hallway. What the fuck?

I stomped into my room to see that someone, was sleeping in my bed. And they weren't even tucked in all the way. They were lying on their stomach, with their hand splayed across the bed.

"Who the hell are you!?" The person sat up with a start, a glazed look in their eyes. As the lights slowly flickered on, their features came into view. The man in my room had bright red hair and vine-green eyes, wearing a crewneck sweater with a mossy-like texture and gray/black plaid pants.

I crossed my arms across my chest, awaiting a response. The man blinked a couple of times before his eyes flicked open and looked around. "Oh crap, this isn't my room!"

"Yeah, you finally noticed, huh?" He swung his legs over the bed and looked sheepishly off to the side. Honestly, I felt a little bad yelling at him and losing my temper a bit.

"Sorry about that. I'll take my leave now," The man got up silently and started to get past the door, until I blocked him. "What the hell? What's the deal, dude?"

"I accept your apology," My arms were still crossed tightly across my chest. "Now, how the hell did you get into my room? We use keycards to access each room. …Unless…you're trying to steal something from me."

I look him in the eyes to catch one of his twitch involuntarily. He scoffed before saying, "Steal? Something? Alright, if you're trying to be racist because I'm Jewish, I'm not gonna have it today. I don't want any of your shit, believe me."

"Well, that still doesn't explain–" I didn't even make it halfway through my sentence before he pushed past me and out the door. Seriously, what is this guy's problem?

After he left, I walked towards the seashell phone and typed in the digit to report to an attendant that someone had broken into my room. I needed another keycard, immediately, so that freak wouldn't get into the wrong room again. And I also needed to check if anything was missing. Ugh, on the first day? I'm never booking with this shitty cruise ship ever again.

—

The next day, I woke up and freshened up in the bathroom before leaving my room. An attendant had slid a new keycard under the door, much to my surprise. I wasn't sure if they would be accommodating or not, especially in the late evening hours. I smile and pick it up, feeling a bit more relieved that my things would (hopefully) be more secure tonight with a refreshed keycard. After sorting through my things last night, I found that I had everything I needed - so that weirdo who got into my room was telling the truth after all.

I left my room with my hair slicked back with gel, wearing a dinky Hawaiian flower t-shirt. What's a cruise without getting into the mood? I was going to find some cute chicks today, near the deck. It'd been a while since I had been in the dating scene. The last time I was dating was when I was with Wendy, but we all know how that went. After I moved cities to become a sports therapist with the big leagues, she decided that I was too high maintenance and broke up with me. Now, seems like she's dating Token. The funny thing is, it took me so long to realize that the high-maintenance one was her, not me.

I rested my forearms against the railings of the cruise ship, peering at the ocean from the deck. In my hand was a margarita, which I was savoring the taste of. A little pink umbrella stuck its' neck out of the side of the glass, just like how I was leaning out over the railing just then. The ocean waves looked so calming but intimidating at the same time.

My reflection stared back at me from the waters, disfigured and morphed into a multitude of different colors. I blinked and stepped back to make my way over to the swimming pool, seeing if there were any cuties there. I needed a drink first to build up the confidence to talk to ladies.

…Then, a flash of red hair came into my vision.

"Mom, I don't want to go into the pool. Don't you know that you shouldn't drink and swim at the same time? You could drown." It was the same voice that I heard in my room last night.

It was the man with the red hair and green eyes.

Suddenly, all of my libido went flying out the fucking window. I didn't even feel like going to the pool anymore to see if I could snag a cute chick or not.

"Oh, it's you." The voice was talking. At me.

"Yeah, and it's the bedroom intruder." I muttered through clenched teeth, feeling my margarita glass shaking in my hand.

"Shhh, hey, keep your voice down. My mom might hear." The man whispered and rolled his eyes when an older woman with the same fiery red hair sauntered over.

"Oooh, who's this Bubby? Did you make a friend on the cruise already?" This woman had a large, triangular nose, and very defined facial features. Resting atop her head was a pair of sunglasses, in her hand was a margarita glass, and well..for the rest of her, I did not want to look.

"Mom, remember last night I went into the wrong room? Well, this is the guy." The man put his arms across his chest, almost like he was defensively protecting himself from getting punched by me.

"Oooh, Bubby. Sorry about that, my son sometimes goes into a fugue state and gets himself into trouble sometimes," She winked at me and clinked her glass against mine. In my head, I cringed slightly. "Well, make some friends, sweet Kahl! Let's party!"

She then whipped around and downed her whole drink, heading towards the swimming pool. Even though her son said not to, she was going to swim even after drinking.

"So, your name's Kahl?" I made a face in Kahl's direction, sipping on my margarita. Ah, what the hell. I'll stick around and talk to this guy. His mom seems pretty cool, albeit a little bit cringy.

"My actual name is Kyle….please don't ever call me that again," It seemed like he was cringing, too, for his mother's behavior. "Let's try this again. I know we got off to a pretty rocky start, but my name is Kyle. And what's your name?"

"My name's Stan."

There was a hint of a smile tugging at Kyle's lips. "Stan, do you wanna ditch this joint and hit the arcade room?"

"Hmm, sure, why not." I didn't have anything else to do, anyway.