...

..

.

I slowly open my eyes. The light is bright, but my eyes quickly adjust to it.

I slowly sit up.

I lift up my hands until I can see them.

They're there. Everything's fine.

I could feel some lasting pain and a kind of static feeling in them.

I close and open them multiple times to make the feeling go away, but it doesn't.

It's never this easy and fast, is it?

I look around the room I'm in.

It was small, but fancy. Multiple expensive decorations were in place. It looked kinda like Subaru's room in the Mather's mansion, but way more luxurious. Everything you would need for a good life in was here:

A closet to hide skeletons in. A table and a chair to write in a language no one can understand. A beautiful chandelier to shed light on things you want people to see, and to make shadows even darker for things you want to hide. A bed to laze around in all day. And a window to the outside world, through which if you looked from the outside, you wouldn't be able to see much of the inside of the room, but if you looked from the inside, you would be able to see a lot of the outside.

The bed was so comfy that I didn't want to get out of it at all, but I knew better than to let that stop me from being productive.

I stood up from the bed only to realize something.

Oh... I'm completely naked.

I walked up to the closet, opened it and saw my usual clothes in there. They were still damaged, but I didn't care.

I put them on, and then poured my mana into them to fix 'em.

There, all nice and fixed now.

I moved around a bit to make sure everything was fine, and once I was sure that I and my clothes were completely fine, I picked up my sword from the table and exited the room.

What greeted me outside was the oh so familiar interior of the Karsten residence.

It was only then that I decided to look outside. The sun wasn't setting, but it was already going down.

About... 6 pm I'd say.

I look at the time crystal in the Time Tower. It was completely blue, which confirmed my suspicions.

So I've been asleep for about 4 hours, considering it's not the next day that is.

It was then that I noticed Felix walking through the coridors in my direction.

I wave my hand towards him.

Felix: "You're already awake?"

Cylob: "Nope. I'm just sleepwalking."

Felix: "Hehe. Well, since you can joke around, that myeans that you're fine nyow, right?"

Cylob: "Mhm. I have a static feeling in my arms, but other than that, I'm fine." I hold up my arm and rotate it around.

Felix: "That's good to hear." He seemed genuinely relieved. "You weren't joking when you said that your composition is nyothing like a regular human. It was so different that I wasn't even sure what to do at first. I panyicked quite a lot, you know?"

Ah, that's right. This was the first time I didn't heal by myself.

Cylob: "Well, I can't do anything about my body composition, so... sorry I guess?"

He looked at me with a blank face and then face palmed.

Felix: "*sigh* Crusch is right, you're too kind for your own good. Couldn't you see that it was just a joke?"

Cylob: "I just woke up, you know? My mind isn't in the right place right now, so you can't blame me for that. Besides, there are people kinder than me."

Felix: "Oh yeah? Nyame one person."

Cylob: "Subaru."

Felix: "...I'll give you that one. But I'm sure there's nyo one else who's kinder-"

Cylob: "Reinhard, Emilia, Carmilla, Minerva, Fourie-"

Felix: "I get it! I get it! Do you have to take everything so seriously?!"

Cylob: "Maybe." I shrug my shoulders with an overexaggerated smug expression.

Felix sighed and slumped his shoulders.

Felix: "But I've nyever heard of Carmilla and Minerva. Who are they?"

Cylob: "You don't know them, and I don't want to talk about them."

Felix: "Alright. Keep your secrets." He shrugged his shoulders.

After that an awkward silence followed.

Cylob: "So umm. What day is it?" I scratch my head.

Felix: "It's the nyext day."

The next day, huh. I'm surprised I was asleep for that long.

Cylob: "Any news? Or something I should know about in general?"

Felix: "Nyothing much. Subaru is coming to heal himself up fully, but that's the myost of it."

Cylob: "Huh?! Wasn't his Gate completely broken?"

Felix: "Nyo. What gave you that idea?"

That's right... this is already an IF scenario. Even though the events at the mansion unfolded the same as they did in canon, Subaru still contracted Echidna. The butterfly effect is already coming into effect and this is only the start...

Just how much is going to change? And how much of that change is good? I don't want to be the perpetrator of even more...

...

Cylob: "Why didn't he heal it earlier then?"

Felix: "I'm nyot sure myself. But apparently he lost his left arm and he wants it healed as well."

Cylob: "He lost his arm?! Isn't that a big deal?! Why are you so calm about it?!"

Felix: "His arm has been properly preserved, so attaching it won't be too hard." He shrugged.

Cylob: "But he still lost an arm! I just can't understand how you can be so calm about it! Am I the weird one for worrying?!"

Felix: "Nyot really. It just shows how kind you truly are."

Cylob: "It's-... I-... *sigh* I give up."

The difference in values strikes once again!

Cylob: "Is that all?"

Felix: "Crusch wanted to talk with you once you were healed."

Cylob: "When exactly? Can I just go to her right now?"

Felix: "She's busy right now, but she'll be free tomorrow."

Cylob: "That's all, right?"

Felix: "Hmm... Yep! That's all!"

Cylob: "Good."

Well, I'm not gonna start working so late into the day, so I have the full day for myself. Guess I'm gonna spend the day as I always do: More training.

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*knock* *knock*

Crusch: "Come in."

I open the door, come into the room and sit on the chair in front of Crusch.

Cylob: "May I ask why you wanted to see me?"

Crusch: "No need to be so formal."

Cylob: "Sorry, but no can do."

She looked at me with eyes that held guilt and an overall a sad expression.

Cylob: "There's no need to worry about the day before yesterday. It wasn't your fault. Besides, I'm fine now, am I not?"

Crusch: "That's... right."

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and opened them with determination.

She held up her finger.

Crusch: "In 3 weeks there's going to be a mabeast invasion on a village called Yosai near the city Abiate. I want you to come with the knights, and help them with subjugating it."

A mabeast invasion... wait-

Cylob: "How do you know the mabeast invasion is coming?"

Crusch: "Certain mabeasts are more active during certain seasons. This one in particular is a mabeast called Kyopug."

So kinda like some animals on earth. More active in spring and such.

Cylob: "Why do you want me to go there?"

Crusch: "It's good for you to get more experience in real battles. This could also teach you how to work in a group. Wilhelm agrees with this as well."

Work in a group... I don't feel like that's important to me. I'm gonna be solo everywhere. But more battle experience... that's not bad.

Cylob: "Will it be possible to fight on my own? If I work with them I might mess up their coordination."

Crusch: "Yes. That could easily be arranged. The only problem is that your life is going to be solely in your hands."

Cylob: "That's fine. I'm not going to die either way."

She smirked a little bit.

Crusch: 'That's good to hear.'

She cares about my well being too much, doesn't she?

Cylob: "How far is Yosai?"

If it's too far away, I feel like staying here to train will be more efficient.

Crusch: "It's one and a half days worth of travel. You're going to stop at McMahon's estate for the first day and the next day you will reach Yosai."

Three days of nothing... I can deal with that. I mean, I got 10 months before Arc 5, so I have a lot of time. 3 days is 1/100 of what I have, so not a lot.

Cylob: "That sounds great. What exactly do I have to do to get on this 'trip'?"

Crusch: "You don't have to worry about that. I will handle everything related to the signing up aspect."

Cylob: "Are you sure? I'm pretty sure that's a lot of work, considering I'm a nobody."

Crusch: "Yes I'm sure." She sighed. 'It's the least I can do.'

Why does she worry so much about hurting me? I'm pretty sure she was more strong minded in the original. I guess, I'll take advantage of this weakness tho.

Is that a bad thought? Is taking advantage of this... bad? I... don't know. My laziness and calculating side tell me to take advantage, but my 'human' side tells me not to.

Morals, morals and even more morals. I don't even know what is correct to think anymore.

My laziness, my uselessness, should I accept it and try to work around it, or should I try and get rid of it? Both are technically improving myself, but which one is better?

Why is thinking always so hard? Why does my mind keep going in circles? Even my thoughts about my thoughts going in circles are going in circles.

Yet another infinite loop that I don't know how to get out of.

I haven't even started on my 'Reinvention Project' because of my laziness, fear that I will change something too big and my social anxiety. I'm spending all my social battery on conversations like these, so I never have enough gall to actually do that kind of stuff.

i'm so slothfu-

Crusch: "That's all that I wanted to talk to you about. You can now leave and continue your work."

Ah, that's right. I was talking to someone.

How do I always get lost in thought like that? I feel like if I keep that train of thought going, I will get lost in thought again, so let's just go back to work.

Cylob: "Thank you very much for this opportunity. I will now take my leave." I bow to her.

I could see Crusch getting a little bit uncomfortable at how formal I was.

I get up from my seat, walk to the door and open i-

Crusch: "If you ever need help, just come to me, I won't hesitate to help. And if you ever need to open up to somebody, everyone in this mansion will be happy to listen to you. Don't stay holed up like that for long."

Cylob: "..."

"..."

...

I turn back to her with a smile.

Cylob: "Thank you very much, but I don't want to burden any of you."

I walk out of the room.

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As soon as he walks out of the room, my mind starts being flooded with thoughts.

You're... too kind for your own good. You keep everything to yourself because you don't want others to deal with your baggage.

But don't worry, I'll help you.

You saved me, and I never forget debts. You also have a lot of potential that I want to see you grow into. Not only in battle, but in other areas as well.

So don't worry, I will help you.

I'm not going to be the one who you'll tell everything to, but I'll peel away the layers of your psyche until you're vulnerable enough to find that person. And then I'll do it again and again and again and again. Until you start relying on other people without reservation.

I won't let you hold yourself back with your kindness. I want you to become better than your current self by miles. And who knows, maybe you'll feel indebted to me, so you'll help me win the election, but that's just a side thought.

...

Be ready, Cylob. I'll break you.

I immediately start writing a letter to get him into the excursion.

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Cylob: "Seems like I'm with you for now, Caroline."

Caroline: "Yes, that is correct."

Caroline was one of the maids in the Karsten residence. Depending on what I do, I work together with different workers of the mansion. This time I was with her.

Cylob: "What are we going to do?"

Caroline: "Follow me."

She starts walking and I follow her.

She's acting weird. She's the only worker left who doesn't act friendly with me (The others just started acting friendly with me without me even asking for it), but today she's even more... rigid. I wonder why that is.

After a bit of walking we walk to the room that I woke up in yesterday.

Cylob: "So what's wrong with this room?"

Caroline: "This is your room from now on."

...Huh?

Cylob: "What do you mean by that?"

Caroline: "This is a room for guests, and since it is not needed in the current moment, it will be considered yours."

Cylob: "No, I get that, but why is it mine?"

Caroline: "Crusch-sama said as such."

Crusch... just how bad does she feel about hurting me? I don't think of it as such a big deal... but I guess if it was anyone else, there was a high chance of that person either dying or being permanently damaged in some way, so it makes some sense... but this is still too much.

Even if it's temporary, giving a whole room to me is more than I can take. I don't need it either. It'll just keep collecting dust as it always had. I'll talk to her about this, so I'll just ignore this information for now.

Cylob: "That's nice to hear. Can you show me actual work to do now?"

Caroline: "Of course." She nodded.

So this room is the reason she's more rigid today. I don't want that kind of tension, Crusch!

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Subaru: "Thank you."

Subaru was right in front of me and he was bowing a full 90 degrees. He wanted to talk to me in private, so we were all alone in this room.

Cylob: "I understand how much you want to show your gratitude, but could you please not do it like this? It makes me uncomfortable for you to bow to me. Just talk to me like normal. I get embarassed quite easily, you know?"

He un-bows and looks me in the eyes.

Subaru: "Thank you. I'm not sure what I would've done without your help. You've saved me two times now and I don't know how to fully show my gratitude."

Two times? Is he talking about Rem?

Cylob: "You already showed me enough... but if you want to thank me even more, then keep doing everything as you have. Keep being cheerful, keep protecting your friends... keep being yourself. Don't go too far into any of the negative aspects of life, and always remember who you were. That's my request."

His eyes were wide open, but then he looked down.

Subaru: "If you want me to keep being myself, then let's do this the right way."

He takes a deep breath...

...

Subaru: "My name is Natsuki Subaru! No longer broke! No longer lost! But still weak and stupid! It's nice to meet you!" He does his signature pose and then extends his hand out to me, all while having the most shit eating grin imaginable.

I smirk.

Cylob: "My name is Cylob Protsav. I don't have anything to say about myself, but I still hope you'll remember me." I shake his hand.

Subaru: "And as such, our relationship starts here! From zero!"

Cylob: "Yes, it does."

We keep shaking hands for a while... until it gets uncomfortable. We both release the handshake at the same time.

Subaru: "Tho, I guess we won't have much to start this relationship on." He scratches his head.

Cylob: "That's true. You're already healed, so you'll leave tomorrow. But that doesn't mean that the start won't be memorable. Who knows? Maybe we'll become good friends in the future, and we'll talk about this moment in detail." I shrug.

Subaru: "That's right! Quality over quantity!"

Cylob: "And I'm sure I won't forget the first sentence you said to me, no matter what happens."

Subaru: "And I'll make sure not to forget yours as well! As much as I would like to talk to you more tho, I'm sure Rem is already going crazy over there, so I must go now! Bye!" He runs out of the room.

...

Lying that much, makes me sick. I'll have to interact with him as little as possible, so there's no way we'll become friends or anything of the sort. No matter how much I want to, I mustn't...

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Cylob: "Shouldn't I train more before doing something like this?"

Wilhelm: "This is part of training. It is the most effective way for you to get better."

I sigh and once again rub my temples. Why, you might ask? The answer to that question was in front of me:

Julius Juukulius.

We were in the same place where I fought with Crusch.

I have been training with Wilhelm here for the past week, so no problems there, but as soon as I saw Julius, I knew I was going to fight him.

I wasn't prepared for another battle like this at all, so I was understandably nervous.

I've been trying to erase Crusch's look at me in the end of our battle from my memories, and I almost succeeded, but this encounter brought it all back.

I don't know why Crusch's look was so scary. I could deal with Regulus's and Lye's just fine, but for some reason her look gave me chills.

Maybe I just instinctively understood in how much danger I was, or maybe mad people were just much easier to deal with. I don't know.

But what I did know, is that I didn't want another one of those to come my way. So naturally I was completely against this battle... but at the same time I knew I had to fight him to get better.

It was yet another battle of my calculative side versus my emotions.

As a battle was going on inside my head, Julius and I got into our positions. The only words said were our introductions.

As you already guessed: my calculative side won, but my mind was still full of doubts.

I was barely able to get the pain of getting my hands slashed off by Crusch forgotten, so I didn't want to get hurt again, less I feel that pain again and again and again and agai-

Whenever I have a painful memory like Lye's torture, I make sure to forget it. If I don't, I will constantly remember the pain from it, and would probably go insane or become too scared to do shit. That's how I've been able to get by so far, but I knew that had to end someday.

I tried everything I could to try and mitigate the pain that I felt: Hurting my other cells, in order to take some pain from the ones that were already hurt. Transfering the cells to another place on my body. Forcefully removing the hurt cells from my body. But none of it made the pain any easier to bear, so I knew there was no way of mitigating the pain in any other way than just... getting used to it.

My mind was weak, yes, but it mustn't stay that way. I knew that, so I was hoping that this fight with Julius could be the start of that improvement.

I've constantly been running away and ignoring this problem, so please... please hurt me in a way I can't forget.

I don't want to get hurt, but I know I have to.

So please... be the starting point - Greatest Knight.

./\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\.

Aaaaand I was on the ground, not even ten seconds into the battle.

Why, you might ask? Turns out this is supposed to be nothing like the training with Crusch, but more of an introduction of ways to deal with more gimmicky stuff. For example:

Nect.

That's right. The thing that helped take down Betelgeuse. The one that shared the senses between targets.

But unlike last time where it was used between allies, this time it was used between opponents.

Julius used Nect, and I got completely disoriented, so he easily pushed me to the ground with a palm.

So my wish isn't going to get granted, it seems...

But that didn't mean I wasn't thankful for the training. Actually, knowing tricks that could trip you up will be incredibly useful. Especially if I'll have to deal with Gluttony again, who has an infinite amount of them.

So the training went by just like that.

I first got used to Nect. Then Julius started using Yin magic, while explaining how it works and what I need to watch out for. Then Yang with the same procedure. Then some other ones.

Sometimes he would use something completely different from what he told me and would judge my ability to react to these situations. To keep me on my toes so to say.

It was a very informative and overall good training session. I was surprised that you could get such fast results without cheats like The Divine Protection Of Training.

But I guess that's not surprising considering my Thought Acceleration, which made these two hours into much more.

We were now nearing the end of our training session. A battle between me and Julius just ended, with me on the floor of course.

Julius: "I must say: I'm surprised by how fast you were able to grasp everything."

Cylob: "You say that, but I bet you could beat me with an arm behind your back."

Julius: "That is ignoring the point. Besides, you are 15, are you not?"

Cylob: "Mhm."

Julius: "And I am 21. You're 6 years younger than me, you've only trained for four months, and yet you're already so strong. You should be proud of that."

Proud? I didn't earn most of this power, I got it. I didn't earn shit... that would be a lie.

I got better at the sword. That's the one thing I got better at.

Julius: "What you've managed to learn in one training session was supposed to take multiple. If that doesn't show how much talent and willingness to learn you have, then I don't know what does."

Cylob: "That sounds good to the ears. Thank you."

He extends his hand out to me, which I accept and get up with the help of.

I Predator the dirt off of myself and simultaneously look at Julius.

Heh, as expected of the Greatest Knight. Not a single stain.

I could see Wilhelm walking to us, so I knew our time was up.

I bow to Julius.

Cylob: "Thank you for training me today."

He gives a nod in return.

Julius: "It was a pleasure for me as well."

He starts walking back to the capital, but not before turning his head around and saying something to me.

Julius: "If you ever wish to become a knight, then I will surely root for you."

And he starts running back to the capital.

A knight... maybe after everything is over. Even then it's a low chance. It will limit my movement and I don't feel anything towards Lugunica or its ruler(s). Staying close to someone with a high position like Crusch gives me the same benefits, but without the demerits, so that makes it even worse of a choice.

Wilhelm: "How did the practice go?"

Cylob: "It went awesome to be honest."

I got good at replying even while lost in thought, so that sudden question didn't startle me.

Wilhelm: "It would be good to repeat everything before you forget it, so let's focus on that for the rest of today."

Cylob: "Mhm."

And so I kept on training...