Before we get started, know this story started as something small just for myself where I would write for an hour and move on. Then it turned into something else. Then something else.

Content warning for this story as it includes the following: Drug use, suicide, physical, mental, and emotional abuse, rape, sex, alcohol use, tobacco use, and physical violence.

Part 1

On shaking legs, like a baby deer, Angel stepped out of the long red car that dropped him off in front of the hotel. He was sore, upset, pissed off, but he bit his tongue to keep quiet until the car drove off and he limped his way up to the door of the hotel.

He stared down at the handle, seeming like it was further away than it was but he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, plastered on his smile, and opened it.

A gust of wind made him flinch as he was greeted by Charlie standing there with a big smile. "Hey! Welcome back Angel! How was work?" The spider didn't respond initially. Instead, he just walked by her, trying to ignore how his body felt like it was thrashed around. He kept his smile on, gritting his teeth. "Fuckin' faaantastic. Did a whole series in one night. New record, baby!" He called over his shoulder as he made his way towards his room, his heels clicking against the floor with every step. "I'm gonna go take a shower cause' I am covered in things you don't want to hear from people you probably know." He opened his door and, stepping inside, his smile dropping the moment he closed it behind him.

Angel let out a shaky sigh, looking around his room before taking off his fur jacket and throwing it somewhere in the corner. He leaned back against the door and slid down it to sit on the floor. Whatever decompression was he wasn't sure this was it but this was as close to an exhale as he could get.

He hated feeling like this. It made him feel weak, pathetic, and reminded him too much of his old life. He didn't want that.

Standing up, Angel made his way over to the bathroom and stripped himself of his clothes, taking them off piece by piece. He wanted to burn them but they looked pretty. He'd keep them for now.

Turning on the shower, he put his hand under it to make sure the temperature was nice and hot, almost scolding, and stepped inside. The water ran red and brown as all the blood and makeup he wore was washed off, leaving his skin and fur clean. It would show the bruises a little more but that was part of it. He always got roughed up in the studio, it was nothing new.

His hands shook a little as he grabbed his soap and began to scrub himself clean, trying to wash off everything that happened. He wasn't going to cry. He wasn't going to freak out. He was going to finish and lay down. He could freak out and pass out when he woke up. He just wanted to breathe.

When he was done, he stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around himself. He needed to do something to distract himself and he knew just the thing.

Angel grabbed his fluffy pink robe and walked back into his room, closing the door behind him, and flopped onto his bed. With a keen eye he looked around, checking the shadows and closet, under his bed and in the corners of his room in case anyone or thing was there. When he was sure he was alone, he reached under his pillow and pulled out his phone.

Months prior, Angel had found the phone sitting on his pillow when he had returned to his room. The small black flip phone wasn't his but he hadn't seen anyone else carry something like this around; a relic in comparison to more 'modern' communication here at the bottom of the world.

But now it had become a small but powerful lifeline as it held a great secret.

It had one contact.

One name: Alex

He took a deep breath and exhaled. This was stupid. He was stupid. But he needed someone to talk to. He needed someone to just hear him without judgment.

He checked the time on the phone to make sure it wasn't too early or late. His finger hovered over the call button. No one would know. No one had to know.

Angel bit his lip and clicked on the name.

It rang.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

"Hello?" A voice answered from the other side. Angel sat up on his bed and stared at his wall. He wanted to speak but words wouldn't come out. There was a small chuckle on the other end that filled Angel's chest with warmth. He heard the person groan. He must have still been in bed. "I know it's you. You're the only one that calls."

Angel gulped and cleared his throat, "I-I'm sorry. Did I wake ya?" His voice was soft. The person on the other line hummed. "Yeah but it's you. How could I be mad?"

Angel felt his face heat up as he pulled his legs up to his chest, "I guess ya can't. So...how are ya?" He asked. There was some shuffling on the other line as the person sat up, "I'm doing alright. Was thinking about you last night."

A gentle heart flutter in his chest warmed him all over as he lay down on his stomach, "Ya did? How come?"

"I was thinking about how you sounded. Been a while since I heard you last. At least a week at this point." He yawned.

Angel nodded, "I was...busy. Had a lot of shoots to do. They had me do a bunch of shit in a day. I couldn't take a break."

"Angel, you know you never have to apologize to me. I understand you're busy with...all that." Angel shook his head, "I know but...I still feel guilty." The spider rolled and grabbed his pillow, hugging it to his chest.

There was some more shuffling on the other line, "Angel, Angel. Listen, its fine. I understand. I just wish I knew you were OK when we don't speak." Angel chuckled, "I'm fine. Promise. Just tired. They really had me work my ass off."

"But are you sore?"

Angel felt his cheeks burn as his body shivered, "A-A little. It's not that bad. I'm used to it."

"I bet it's not that bad. You're pretty strong. You're so fucking strong, Angel. I'm proud of you. I wish you could see that."

Angel let out a shaky sigh and closed his eyes. "I am sore, Alex. I'm sore and I'm tired and I just...I want to scream. I want to FUCKING-" he pulled the phone away from his head and put his hand over his eyes.

"Angel?"

He brought the phone back to his ear, "Yeah?" his voice was so small.

"You still there?"

"Yeah. Still here."

There was silence between them. "I made something for you, Angel." Angel sat up, "You did?"

"Yea. Give me a second. I'll send it through."

"Send?"

Angel waited a moment and his phone buzzed as a notification went off. It was an audio file. Eight minutes long. "I went down to the beach. Recorded some sounds for you. Birds, water, some people going by. I don't know if the stories of hell are true but I'm sure you don't have any oceans so...I wanted to give you something to get lost in."

Angel stared at his phone, his mouth open as his heart squeezed in his chest. He couldn't help the tears that rolled down his face as he bit his lip and smiled, "I-I...thank you." he said softly. "Thank you. I-I don't know what to say. I just...thank you."

"It's nothing, Angel. It's not a big deal."

Silence carried on for a long time before Alex spoke. "I don't want too, but I need to get going, Angel. I got class. But I'll be available in," pause, "five hours. If you want to call again, that is."

Angel nodded, a smile creeping onto his lips "I'd like that."

"I'd like that too," Alex said softly.

There was silence and Alex didn't hang up. Angel knew he was going to say something to break the moment before he left. He always did. "I want to put my tongue in your belly button."

Angel snorted and burst into laughter, "Fuck off!" he said between fits of laughter. Alex chuckled on the other line, "there's that pretty laugh. I'll talk to you later, Angel." The line went dead as he hung up the line.

Angel stared at his phone, his body warm and fuzzy. He was smiling now.

Alex...

He pressed play on the audio file and braced.

His heart fluttered as the sounds filled his room.

Waves crashing, birds singing, people chatting in the distance. He closed his eyes and pictured himself there. He pictured himself being at the beach, taking a walk along the coastline. "Hey, Angel." Angel looked at his phone as Alex's voice came through the speaker "you having a good time? It's a beautiful day out today. I'm glad you came out with me." He said softly. "I love you."

Angel's eyes flew open, his heart thudding in his chest. "W-What?"

He could hear Alex walking in the recording along the beach. "Would you like to get some ice cream? I'll buy."

Angel sat there in shock.

He heard a bell go off as Alex walked into a store. "Let's play it safe, yea? Two chocolate cones please." Angel closed his eyes and smiled as he heard the ice cream man make the cones. "That's...perfect. Thank you. Keep the change."

Angel heard Alex sit down in the sand. "I won't talk a lot in this because I want you to enjoy the ambiance."

Angel lay back down, holding his phone close to his ear and closing his eyes. He took a deep breath and exhaled. He imagined Alex sitting next to him, their hands interlocked, enjoying their ice cream, watching the ocean.

Angel rolled over onto his back and closed his eyes, pulling his blanket up to his neck. He needed this. He needed to get away from everything. He wanted to just lay there and enjoy this moment.

He didn't want to move.

He didn't want to go back to work.

Eventually Alex spoke again on the recording, "listen to this any time you want to have ice cream on the beach with me, Angel, and know I'm right here."

Angel smiled softly and pressed play on the recording again as he snuggled into his bed.

It didn't matter.

None of that mattered.

Not for now. Not here, not now, not for the next eight minutes.

He closed his eyes and was lost in the sounds of the waves; sleeping more peacefully than he had on any drug or drink he had consumed in the last...long time.

For the next eight minutes, his mind was far, far away.

Far away from his problems.

Far away from Hell.

And right next to him sat Alex.

For eight precious minutes, he wasn't alone.