Fussing around, his right hand held up high above his head, Mulder declared: "Nope. Same as in the camp. Our cells are useless."
"As if I was expecting to order pizzas," Scully replied, waiting for Mulder to sit besides her.
Mulder paced back and forth a few more times, then put back his cellphone in his coat pocket and looked down at Scully. "Hopefully, we've covered the food part in our preps."
"Come on, let's sit together and brainstorm," Scully ordered, tapping the thick welcoming grass on her left side.
Mulder threw his lean body down the floor then took Scully's hand in his.
"Okay… I start," half-serious and half-amused tones in his voice. "We've reached a fucking dead end cliff, we've temporarely lost our way back to the camp because we've lost our minds and best judgement with the paint can, and, cherry on the cake, you're the one acting the most bizarre, jumping into an irrational B-hunch."
"You've followed me without question or doubts."
"Always, Scully."
Scully turned her head and dived into Mulder's smirking eyes; she smiled back. Those last days, and weeks, everything looked so easy and weightless; all was rainbows and sparkles able to hide any lurking dark clouds or fire smoke. Was it just an inescapable phase in their seven years relationship?
"You don't seem that annoyed, or angry at me," Scully said with a shrug.
"I don't blame you. I don't judge you. Remember that I jump over moving trains on impulses. Compared to it, running on your tail was easy-peasy. And a delight for my eyes."
Scully squeezed Mulder's hand, her heart light and anxiousless. Certainly, something was wrong, somewhere, all around or in their minds.
She looked up at the sky through a hole in the canopy. "The sun will set in less than a couple of hours. We have to plan a course of action."
"And theories, Scully."
"Theories?"
"Of course. We have to be ready for anything. You're aware there's something odd from the start?"
Scully nodded.
"So far, no threats, no apparent danger. Just thornless roses and shine," he continued. "Well, we might rather be lost in the woods, but we sure could still make it back to the camp in a couple of days max. We have a compass and a vague direction to follow."
"Yeah, I guess so."
"Now, the question is: What tricks us? What lures us? Why are we so compliant?"
"Chemistry… Volatile Organic Compounds? We're surrounded by plants… Unique green chemicals messing with our brains?" Scully proposed. Then, after a beat, "Pheromones? Hormones?"
She gazed down at Mulder's plump lips, his perfect square jaw, the blood pulsing on the side of his neck, his raw stubble, and, straight away, she felt the spell, his spell, running through her nerves.
"Or, we've just morphed," she added.
"Morphed?"
"Into head over heels lovers… Who have lost their common sense and their investigator skills… Haven't we agreed to leave our sentiments at home? To keep professional partners' behavior when on the field? What happened, Mulder?"
Toying with Scully's fingers, Mulder looked at the bushes and trees ahead. They had come from this tangle of leaves and branches, on a path he couldn't discern anymore, as if the plants had parted to let them get through and were now just forming a green impassable wall. What happened, indeed.
"I don't know, Scully," he answered. "But I feel we're meant to act like fools. So to be led on Lori and Roy tracks… They are lovers, too."
"What happened to them?"
"They might have made it to the core of Deep Valley."
"And what, then? What were they chasing?"
"Unicorns farting rainbows? Priapic mythological Greek satyrs feeding and masturbating over lovers? Or, some more benevolent and jovial fauns? "
"It's all you have in your files?"
"Maybe Lotus-Eaters tripping on Lotus fruits? I'm short for botanic monsters, though… And, believe me, our hungry giant mushroom encounter was one for a lifetime."
"You rule out BigFoot?"
"Never when in the North-Western wild, Scully. It could be there as a mere spectator but not as the Bond villain."
Scully turned around and pointed at the huge rocky cliff they'd reached, blocking their way to Deep Valley.
"That's what awaits us if we get through this brick wall? A Bond villain?"
"Maybe, Scully…"
"And we're up to it?"
"I think we've both agreed to try our best to find Lori and Roy."
"And rescue them from the villain's lair? Sounds like an action movie."
"With a hint of romanticism."
"Really?"
Scully's rhetorical question sang like an invitation for Mulder who leaned over to kiss her.
They might have mutated into spooning baby cats, their sharpened claws and teeth as FBI tigers be gone under too much sweetness and their acute reflexes all reshaped to fulfill desire and lust, Mulder wouldn't change the days since they had indulged in their intimate relationship. He was happy; happy to give his love, happy to be loved for who he was.
Their kiss deepened as daylight was weakening and their hands began to unbutton and seek skin as warmth was fading away, when Scully broke apart their lips and stopped Mulder's hand on her breast.
"Mulder, course of action? Twilight's setting on us," Scully said, not without regret.
"Isn't it what we're doing? Seems pretty much active in my opinion. And I bet darkness won't stop us."
"Mulder… Let's think straight first."
"Okay, okay… Wait a sec."
Mulder fumbled in his pockets and held out a few leaves. "Dusk is foxes' hours. And those leaves, a gift from Sneaky Joe to reach the fox's spirit."
"Sneaky Joe?"
"Yeah, the guy who gave me the fox tip at the camp. I'm sure there's a way to Deep Valley from here or nearby. An animal track. And foxes are smart."
"So, you want to get stoned? On whatever Sneaky Joe gave you?"
"I'd be safe in your hands, doc."
Scully stared at Mulder's boyish face for a long minute.
"You're completely crazy, Mulder."